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November, 2024

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Www.fmylife.com

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Edward.
Posts: 9366 - Karma: 445
www.fmylife.com

idk if this is a repost, but my friend just told me about this website and there really is some funny shit on there. ill share some of my favorite from the site

"Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis."

"Today, I sent my best friend Mike the link to a porn site we were talking about at a party. Turns out the name “Mom” is right next to “Mike” in my contacts list."

Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidently sent it to my dad and got a text back saying "You definitely take after your mom"

i just figured id share this with you guys if youre bored like i am.
Feb 9 2009 7:36PM
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Kornn101
Posts: 3534 - Karma: 25
ive known about it for a while but i definately wasted 5 hungover hours yesterday reading it.
Feb 9 2009 7:41PM
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dwhite
Posts: 1499 - Karma: 32
hahaha those are so great
Feb 9 2009 7:42PM
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yuck
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 2,090
its just annoying to read it cuz they all start with Today,... and end with ...FML.
Feb 9 2009 7:50PM
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gstaff
Posts: 1017 - Karma: 12
funny stuff
Feb 9 2009 7:50PM
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TheButterHashira
Posts: 9691 - Karma: 1,702
"Today, I visited my 78 year old grandmother. She thanked me for visiting and gave me a magazine before I left telling me I might find something I like in there. When I got home I looked at the magazine only to realize it's full of dildos and sextoys"

haha
Feb 9 2009 7:51PM
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Jiblonski
Posts: 102 - Karma: 11
"Today, I played games on Barbie.com and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard. FML"


winner
Feb 9 2009 7:54PM
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Blurst
Posts: 13577 - Karma: 10,169
some of the stuff is actually kinda funny
Feb 9 2009 8:05PM
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Jordan
Posts: 4079 - Karma: 2,122

"Today, I was going to lose my virginity to my girlfriend of 2 months. We decided to go into the woods where nobody would see it. We were rolling around naked for a while, when all of a sudden rashes appeared all over. My girlfriend then noticed we were in poison Ivy and my member had it the worst. FML"



that shit sucks
Feb 9 2009 8:13PM
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Skierguy1234
Posts: 1684 - Karma: 88
"Today, I tried hallucinogenic mushrooms for the first time with my friend. Little did I know, they last for around 6 hours, and I had class at 3, when I had to give a presentation in front of 30 people. FML"

oh god. hahahaha

i bet a lot of these are fake
Feb 9 2009 8:16PM
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yuck
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 2,090

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

thats just weird.
maybe it was the guy who smelt his sisters underwear? hah

Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police.

Feb 9 2009 8:17PM
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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
"Today, this guy took me to Denny's on a first date and used a 2 for 1 coupon. It was expired. I paid. FML"
Feb 9 2009 8:21PM
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a_pla5tic_bag
Posts: 9217 - Karma: 5,399
Well that was stupid of them.
Feb 9 2009 8:24PM
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skithe49th
Posts: 2487 - Karma: 14
haha noice!
Feb 9 2009 8:33PM
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Atypical
Posts: 1339 - Karma: 45
New homepage.
Feb 9 2009 8:39PM
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0123456789
Posts: 9226 - Karma: 148
ahahah thats an awesome site, i jsut read the stories for an hour and a half
Feb 9 2009 9:24PM
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spruitm
Posts: 2221 - Karma: 1,069
Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML
Feb 9 2009 9:25PM
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rightcoastskier
Posts: 2440 - Karma: 10
i read thru alot of those... some are pretty funny but others are also kinda sad... people are weirdd
Feb 9 2009 9:38PM
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uni-corn
Posts: 13846 - Karma: 651
"Today, I can't decide what's worse, my mom walking in on me doing the five knuckle shuffle, or the one hour talk the next day about how it's perfectly normal and even she does it. FML"
Feb 9 2009 9:48PM
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pat_in_the_hat
Posts: 3019 - Karma: 2,695
Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML
Feb 9 2009 9:50PM
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MatRich
Posts: 4789 - Karma: 1,813

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

BAHAHHAHHA

Feb 9 2009 9:52PM
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uni-corn
Posts: 13846 - Karma: 651
"Today, I realized that instead of actually trying to get a job, save money, lose weight, and get thin so I could maybe attempt to date again; I'd rather spend my money on a Fleshlight. FML"

"Today, after having waited for 3 long months, my girlfriend, who's really shy, finally gave me a blow job. Everything was fine until I said "You're really talented...". I probably shouldn't have added "Anyone would think you've been practising your whole life." FML"

lol
Feb 9 2009 10:03PM
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Skierguy1234
Posts: 1684 - Karma: 88
"Today, my girlfriend asked if her friend Alex from high school could join in with us and we could have an amazing threesome. As a horny dude how could I say no...Turns out Alex is also a guys name. FML"
Feb 9 2009 10:16PM
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uni-corn
Posts: 13846 - Karma: 651
"Today, we had the (great?) idea of having sex on a bean bag before my roomate got back home. Result: thousands of small polystyrene balls all over the living room. And no, they can't be picked up in 30 minutes. FML"

"Today I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart". FML"

"Today, we had some family over. A nasty need to wank seized me when I saw her : my 17 year old cousin. I went to my unoccupied parents’ bedroom. My sister's baby walkie talkie was on and the whole family heard me. FML"

some of the best
Feb 9 2009 10:21PM
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tBatt
Posts: 9632 - Karma: 580
bump to let the repost die.

Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML


time to confess... whos the ns'er?
Mar 9 2009 8:42PM
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Dhane
Posts: 3866 - Karma: 1,722
hopefully not a blue name...
Mar 9 2009 8:46PM
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Loges
Posts: 1928 - Karma: 21
you?
Mar 9 2009 8:47PM
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