Replying to I dont know if i can keep skiing

ive owned twintips for 3 seasons now and i will only have been able to use them for one and a half. To make a long story short my first day rideing park, first day of the season, 2 years ago i dislocated my shoulder because i messed it up in a fight a couple weeks before. I did pt for 2 months hard and went skiing again and redislocated my shoulder again. I missed that whole season waiting for surury and then dealing with 6 month recovery. It killed me to miss the whole season. I became very depressed and almost killed myself. Then last year after recovery was my first whole season. I progressed well.. i went from that gaper/fagit that goes straight onto boxes to becomeing decent enough to 2 onto some boxes and other decent things and i got well enough to 3 the biggest jumps around. I wasent amazing but i was so proud of myself. I really loved skiing and it became a big part of my life. So then this season comes by and it had been the best season of my life. I totally gave any extra time i had to ski and im going to straight up say i got very good and starte placing in the local railjams. Then last night i 2d onto a rail caught my edge an whipped my body ito the rail and redislocated my shoulder. I dont know what to do. Im going to haveto get surgury again most likely and my seasons over. This has been the most progressive, best season of my life and its done. If i wait for like 2 months and do pt my shoulder will almost definiyly redislocate and ill just loose more time. I love skiing so much and i dont know what im going to do without it, all i do when im not skiing is think about skiing. Im like absessed with it. Its been 1 day and im already feeling like shit because i know my seasons over. I just dont know if i should keep skiing now to ecause of my shoulder, and if it will be worth it in the end. The doctor told me to quit skiing and that already when im 25 i will have arthretis in my shoulder. Ns i need some help to know if i should keep skiing. I typed this whole thing with my left hand because my right is in a brace. Fuck i just want to die right now