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I copy/pasted this from a thread on dvxuser.com, a camera site. On there, people deal with stuff[cameras] that are way more sentimental and expensive...
RULES.......If Buying
1. Make sure the price is reasonable. The closer to what every one else is selling it for, the better. If you think it is such a "hot" deal you better take extra percussions.
2. Always check buyer feedback. It sounds simple but not everyone follows through with this step. I feel much better when I am buying from someone that has a lot of positive feed back.
3. Talk to them on the phone. It gives you away to trace them if there was a problem and confirm a partial ID.
4. If you can meet in person at a safe place and do a cash transfer and have a chance to check out the goods, I would go this route. The key is a safe highly visible area that would be unlikely area for fraud. I recommend a well lit Starbucks, Police Station parking lot, or any public place that has many people present. Do not go at night.
5. My personal rule, Right before the transaction, if it is a larger purchase..over $500 or more. I say Oh by the way, can you fax me a copy of your drivers license. I will send you mine as well. This is a nice way to verify all of the information that you have collected. Tell them you will even pay a few dollars extra for the peace of mind.
6. Now, after you have done all of that. At least you have a good chance of not being ripped off. Now it is time to seal the deal. If the cost is lower than a few hundred bucks, I just run the risk of pay pal and am done with it. I know it is not perfect, but I feel pretty confident that most fraudulent people will try to get me to do a different type of transaction. If I think something is up, I get a copy of their Drivers License. Pay Pal is minimum level of protection but it helps. It is better than just sending a check. From here you can go to more extreme levels of service and just pick one that has been around for a long time (I would use EBAY's).
Rules....Selling
The same rules apply to the seller as well. But you want to make sure that you have the money before you ship. Also get feedback right away if they received the item and make sure they have to sign for it. I would also recommend insurance for larger ticket items just in case. Get their contact info and faxes or copies of their Drivers License matching their info. Trust me, most people will not do this step if they are going to commit fraud.
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These are obviously good. Pick and choose what you want from them, and make rules for yourself. As a seller, I almost never accept anything but Paypal. Also, never ship until you get the money, unless its a super-verified member or someone you know.
Sometimes, though, you just have to trust people. The percentage of scammers to legit NSers is something like 1/10000 (that was a guess). You can usually tell whether the person is legit or not, and if you can, PM the people that have dealt with said buyer/seller before and ask how they felt about it.
If you decide to trust someone and shit gets fucked up, hopefully you used paypal, and then at least you have a deciding factor to help you. You don't always win but its unlikely that the scammer will be able to back up and defend themselves against your claims...