keep in mind my name is hansel
Color Deprived
In a small mountain town in rural Colorado, there wasn’t much to do in a town like that. You could always hike. But everyone knows hiking get boring when you’ve hiked every mountain. There are never unlimited possibilities of activities anywhere in the world. A young boy was feeling this pain one day. This young boy was called Stewart.
Steward was at the ripe age of twelve. He was a well rounded kid. He did boy scouts and made the honor roll at his school. But even the most well rounded of children get board sometimes. I guess that his house didn’t help him much. You see, Stewart’s parents loved the color gray. They were bubbling people, don’t get me wrong, but they loved gray. They lived in it. They ate in it. I wore it. If orange juice was gray, they would drink it. Steward was the opposite. He loved color. Red, Blue, and Green were his favorites. I despised his parents love for shades of black.
On a Monday, Stewart had the day off. His parents were at work for the day. So Stewart decided to have his friend Leroy over. Leroy was a very, very strange man. He was not over three feet tall, but, he had a head the size of Neptune. His head was a very distracting feature for him. Every commented on the fact that his head was enormous. His head cause him to trip and fall all of the time. Hats would never fit. He had to make his own. In order to make his own he had to but all the yarn needed.
Steward looked beyond Leroy’s head. He knew that a head doesn’t change what’s inside, accept for a huge brain. The reason Stewart like Leroy so much was because his head and bright hats he would wear were so interesting.
Leroy road his bike three miles to get to Stewarts house. He didn’t know why he made such a commitment to get to his house. Stewart’s house was awful. The gray painted cape was visible from the road. Just the first sight of his house bored him. He would ride up his long dirt driveway and enter through the light gray entryway. Stewart would always answer the door the same way. He would peep through the peep hole and they rip open the door. Any sign of life is good when you live at Stewart’s house.
"What do you want to do?" Stewart said to Leroy after an hour of watching Spongebob.
"I don’t know, it’s your house" Leroy responded rather annoyed. Stewart was use to hearing Leroy complain. Leroy was a rather annoying individual. He complained about everything. Stewart knew his house was boring, but if Leroy hated it so much, why did he come.
"Would you want to film a movie about use reenacting the Lord of the Rings?"
"That is so stupid, why would I want to do that?"
"Cause it is wicked awesome!"
"No, it’s wicked stupid!!"
"Well," Stewart felt something fall over him. This was a foreign felling he had never felt before. It was rage. "You want to fight, lets go, fight me!" Now imagine this fight. Stewart is a tall thin boy with absolutely no meat on his bones. Leroy was the same way, only half the height and for times the cranium.
"Are you kidding?" Leroy replied. "I don’t want to fight over not reenacting the lord of the rings."
"Yeah I don’t know what I was thinking."
"Let’s go out into the woods, create weapons and wage tribal warfare"
"Sure that sound alright"
So Stewart and Leroy collected saws and knifes to cut down and sharpen trees and stick. They were to each build some sort of a fort of teepee to protect them. Each of them would design a catapult like thing to destroy each others forts. When the fort is destroyed, they battle it would with their weapons. Of coarse, so intent to hurt each other.
The boys worked hard on their weapons. Leroy fastened a tree up against another. He leaned sticks across the back bone he had just constructed. He weaved saplings he found in and out of the sticks he leaved up. Once his weave was finished he blanked the structure in fallen leaves. His fort resembled that of a nest. Leroy was quite satisfied with his construction.
Stewart struggled. He attempted to make a teepee with sticks and his own clothes. He had planed this when he was leaving the house so he wouldn’t have to battle naked. Be made a rope out of live bark he had stripped. He tied the top of his bindle of sticks and twisted it so they fanned out. The formation actually looked like a teepee. When he tried to tie up his clothes, he failed. He decided to just make a crappy structure and commit his clothes to armor.
The began to fight. Leroy set up a flat board over a log. He would stomp on one end and propel a rock onto Stewart teepee. A large rock flew from Leroy’s side and smashed Stewarts head. He died instantly. Leroy smirked.
"Mission accomplished" he chuckled. His plan had worked. What Stewart didn’t know is that Leroy had been so fed up with Stewarts boring house he had been looking for an excuse to kill him.
Stewart’s body lay motionless and Leroy walked back to the gray cape. He walked into the bathroom and reached behind his head. Leroy grabbed a small metal tag and began to unzip the back of his skull. His face unfolded and out jumped eleven gnomes. They weren’t to incredibly small. They all were wearing pointed yellow hats and had large noses. What was left of Leroy’s body sagged and collapsed to the floor? The gnomes called them selves the Rainbow Gnomes.
"Paint, Paint, Paint, boring we ain’t, everything must be in color, or else we will kill you." They would sing in a monotone fashion as they ran through the house puking out rainbows onto the wall. The paint flying out of their mouths would instantly dry on impact to the wall. The gnomes fed their vomit with diet coke. The gnomes had a chemical in their stomach (similar to that of Fruit Mentos©). They would chug unimaginable gallons of diet coke and paint all shades of gray they could see.
The gnomes were relentless. Within minutes the entire house was decorated in a vibrant rainbow. The gnomes went back to Leroy’s mound of flesh and removed a large stereo system. The stereo was much larger then the eleven gnomes. The gnomes ran out of the bathroom with the stereo on their backs. From the stereo blasts the sounds of the Fresh Prince (Will Smith in Hollywood).
The gnomes danced the night away to such hits like "Miami" and "Getting’ Jiggy with it". When Stewarts parts returned home. The gnomes noticed the grey clothes and returned to their vast quantities of diet coke. Before the gnomes could stack themselves to reach the top shelve of the refrigerator were the coveted diet coke had led. Stewart’s dad smashed them all with a red shovel he had found.
Years later Stewart’s parents realized that red had saved their lives. Now His parents live in a sea of red. The both of them have tried to forget that frightful day of their confrontation by the Color Gnomes. Someday, everything will back to normal.
