RESUME (November 2003) George W. Bush, The White House, USA
>
>
> LAW ENFORCEMENT:
> - I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the
> influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's
> license
> suspended for 30 days.
> - My Texas driving record has been 'lost' and is not available.
>
> MILITARY:
> - I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL.
> - I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use.
>
> - By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty
> in
> Vietnam.
>
> COLLEGE:
> - I graduated from Yale University with a low C average.
> - I was a cheerleader.
>
> PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
> - I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
> - I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I
> bought
> an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas.
> - I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took
> land using taxpayer money.
> - With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil
> industry
> (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.
>
> ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
> - I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making
> Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
> - During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden
> city
> in America.
> - I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in
>
> borrowed money.
> - I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American
> history.
> - With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's
> appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over
> 500,000
> votes.
>
> ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
> - I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal
>
> record.
> - I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one
> billion dollars per week.
> - I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
> - I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
> - I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any
> 12-month period.
> - I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
> - I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the
> U.S.
> stock market.
> - In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and
>
> that trend continues every month.
> - I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
> administration in U.S. history. My 'poorest millionaire,' Condoleeza Rice,
> has a Chevron
> oil tanker named after her.
> - I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S.
> President.
> - I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most
> corporate campaign donations.
> - My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends,
> Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S.
> History,
> Enron.
> - My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to
> assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.
> - I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against
> investigation
> or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica
> Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest
> corporate rip-
> offs in history.
> - I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to
>
> intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
> - I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
> - I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
> government contracts.
> - I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any
> President
> in U.S. history.
> - I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in
> the
> history of the United States government.
> - I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S.
> history.
> - I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations
> remove
> the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
> - I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
> - I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. 'prisoners of war'
> detainees
> and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
> - I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election
> inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
> - I set the record for the fewest number of press conferences of any
> President since the advent of television.
> - I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year
> period.
> After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst
> security failure in U.S. history.
> - The US garnered great sympathy after the World Trade Center attacks and
> less than a year later I made the U.S. the most hated country in the
> world, the
> largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
> - I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to
> simultaneously
> protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for
>
> protest against any person in the history of mankind.
> - I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked,
> pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I
> did so against
> the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the
> world
> community.
> - I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in
> duty
> benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in war time.
> - In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking
>
> Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends.
> - I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans
> (71%)
> view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
> - I am supporting development of a nuclear 'Tactical Bunker Buster,' a
> WMD.
> - I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden and
> Saddam Hussein to justice.
>
>
> RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
> - All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's
> library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
> - All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my
> bankrupt
> companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
> - All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President,
> attended
> regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for
> public review.
>
>
> PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.
Shit, he cant even write a resume well! you're not supposed to use I and it isn't supposed to be more than two pages!
This one goes out to all the depressed women in the house.
Whether you taken the Prozac, the Zanax, or the Pax, or whatever the hell they put in the caps.
I want y'all to come up to the front of the stage, grab me a shot of something along the way.
Put a smile on the front of your head.'
i think i'm gonna break up with girls more often just to have more breakup sex-strode420