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January, 2025

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shittiest fortune cookie ever

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PurpleSkier
Posts: 5634 - Karma: 311
alright, im sitting at my computer, cruising Ns, and i see a fortune cookie, im like yea, sweet, so im like i wonder what my fortune will be, so i open it up, and heres what i got 'There's a Fortune in your Future. Let First Citizens Bank show you how!'

are they going to give me a good fortune cookie or what?
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The Official-royal nose-picking, wannabea highschool dropout, Gary Coleman-loving, Arnold-hating, college chick-dating, Montana boonies guy

Member of the 'lets help Sam loose some weight so he can possibly get a girl' Club.

Only Westcoaster in the Eastcoast Cult
Dec 7 2003 11:43PM
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jono
Posts: 1744 - Karma: 22
hahaha, ohh wow, what a great idea, marketing through fortune cookies
'I was in Italy, and I thought I was buying a fancy condom, and when I hit the button on the machine, it sprayed calogne in my eyes' Russell
Dec 7 2003 11:49PM
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rebel
Posts: 5198 - Karma: 22
I got a sweet fortune the other day. 'You will have gold peices by the bushel.' First non-phylosophical fortune I've ever got. I lamenated it and put it in my wallet.
- - - - -
'The art of propaganda lies in understanding the emotional ideas of the great masses and finding, through a psychologically correct form, the way to the attention and thence to the heart of the broad masses.' - A. Hiedler
Dec 7 2003 11:52PM
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ThisAngelicRage
Posts: 8681 - Karma: 54
I once got a fortune that said something about how I was the best person in the world, so I saved it, I save all my good fortunes. And I taped it to my wall. Like a year later I was in Manhattan staying with a friend, and what fortune does he have taped to his door? The same one.





-Lauren


I'm not much of a man by the light of day
But by night I'm one hell of a lover
I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transexual Transylvania...
Dec 8 2003 12:08AM
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skierdudeguy
Posts: 6574 - Karma: 81
lauren! ahahhahaha
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yeah this one time, I got really wasted, and took the most violent shit ever. serious. my ass and I fought for most of the night, but in the end I was vitorious, until that back stabber attacked after our treaty, and i had to get new boxers - lineskier03

just stand closer to the explosion. it will make it seem biggger.-aoe
Dec 8 2003 12:28AM
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PhaedeD
Posts: 11499 - Karma: 342
ahahaha thats so lame dude.











Go Big and Die!
Dec 8 2003 12:50AM
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Ghost
Posts: 7116 - Karma: 339
that's funny.



Eat. Sleep. Breathe. Ski.
Dec 8 2003 3:43AM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
Ahhahaha,that's great,ghostdragon.
******************

Hummingbird style: 70 times in one second.

Does Crichton smoke? Does a bear shit in the woods? -Rex
Dec 8 2003 8:55AM
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FishChowder
Posts: 244 - Karma: 222
I think I have the best one ever. I still have it on my fridge. It said 'You like Chinese Food.'.
Dec 8 2003 12:06PM
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freeskiing04
Posts: 4454 - Karma: 10
talk about the irony ^. great pic tho
-Ira
*NORTHEAST CULT*
Dec 8 2003 1:05PM
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mikee
Posts: 7813 - Karma: 5
haha, yeah Ive gotten 'You love chinese food' And 'You will get new clothes'

-Michael Lifshitz-
Dec 8 2003 1:56PM
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Itsbackfliptime
Posts: 18901 - Karma: 75
there was a big Ford display at this festival in my town and they had fortune cookies. They all said 'There is a Ford truck in your future'

Coming Soon...
Dec 8 2003 2:25PM
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mikee
Posts: 7813 - Karma: 5
hahaha

-Michael Lifshitz-
Dec 8 2003 2:28PM
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720skiguy
Posts: 4553 - Karma: 21
i used to work at a friends chinese restaurant, cuz hes asian. i got all the fortune cookies i wanted.
Dec 8 2003 2:28PM
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Se7en
Posts: 467 - Karma: 41
Saturday night I got one that said 'Kiss the person next to you'

There were only guys in the room so I decided to tear it up and not show anyone



Just Like The Cool Kids....

I Get Head

'I Love You Spit Bucket' -My Drunk Roommate
Dec 8 2003 2:32PM
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Bob_Loblaw
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 38
i once got one that said 'Good fortune will come with more chinese food' or something to that affect.
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The only way to prevent rape is to say yes.

'. . . thou shalt eat the herb of the field ' (Genesis 3:18)
'. . . eat every herb of the land ' (Exodus 10:12)
'Better is a dinner of herb where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith' (Proverbs 15:17)
“He Causeth the Grass to Grow for the Cattle, and Herb for the Service of Man” (Psalm 104:14)
Dec 8 2003 2:32PM
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cobalt
Posts: 1913 - Karma: 12
i like how 50% of them have two fortunesin them. Sometimes they contradict ea ch other.

________
I always thought Bush steeze was when you go huge, then drop bombs on everyone watching you.
--west
Dec 8 2003 2:39PM
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hotdog.garbage
Posts: 1854 - Karma: 10
'Help, Im trapped in a fortune cookie factory!'
What category do I fall under? I've never fallen under a category. I fell underneath a car once, and I haven't been the same since.
--tom waits
Dec 8 2003 3:14PM
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nilzlet
Posts: 1892 - Karma: 16
'a smart loving and beatiful person will come into your life in a special way'

___________________

my words of wisdom
Dec 8 2003 4:42PM
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skifree919
Posts: 5842 - Karma: 35
The best one i ever got was 'You will have a party' That made my day



jibba jabba
Dec 8 2003 6:01PM
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sugarloaf
Posts: 7866 - Karma: 299
'The night life is for you'

I kept that one


__________
-> Colleen
PROUD LEN FAN
'well, does he like butter tarts?'
Dec 8 2003 7:03PM
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1212j5j5
Posts: 4495 - Karma: 14
'you like chenese food.
------------------------------------------------------------------
My dad 'You can ski on grass, i've seen your friends do it'
Me 'What? no way'
Dad 'yeah way, they just toke it up, and go skiing.'

Work Pays off later, Laziness pays off now :D
If you cant say Fu** at least 10 times in one sentence, you must not really be upset.
221 'i like to rub diluted sulfuric acid on my inner thigh'

Darren Butler 'God made dirt, so dirt dont hurt... its the rocks that get ya.'
Dec 8 2003 8:37PM
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Muteman
Posts: 1508 - Karma: 12
yeah i got one last year that say you love chinese food. IW a slike that doesnt tell me much but i saved it anyways.
(trust me, the '' things aren't actually there)
Dec 8 2003 9:50PM
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ECFS-Attitash
Posts: 2573 - Karma: 13
worst one i've gotten: 'You will visit the Great Pyramids of Egypt.'

alright
1. already did
2. this is something you have complete control over...you decide whether you go there or not, its not like some aladdin dude is gonna come down and pick you up and wisk you off to egypt.
Dec 8 2003 9:52PM
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DFT1080
Posts: 998 - Karma: 12
'You will find true love on Flag Day.'

-Dan

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Two for one, five for four, half ounces, quater pounds, lb's and kilos. What are we looking for sin semilla.

We didn't just build a car. We started a religion.
Dec 8 2003 10:06PM
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WIfreeskier
Posts: 8125 - Karma: 65
'you are severely obeise.' it's way not true considering i'm fucking scrawny (but i'll fight to the death) but anyways i just thought it was funny so i gave it to my fat friend and he was pissed off

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'We sold some mushroom tea, we sold some ecstacy, we sold nitrous, opium, acid, herion and pcp, now i hear the police comin after me...' -Sublime
Dec 8 2003 10:15PM
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