when in da Course o' human events it becomes necessary fo' one peeps ta dissolve da political bands which gots connected dem wiff another an' ta assume among da powers o' da earth, da separate an' equal station ta which da Laws o' Nature an' o' Nature'sGod entitle dem, uh decent respect ta da opinions o' mankind requires dat dey should declare da causes which impel dem ta da separation.
We hold deez truths ta be self-evident, dat all men iz created equal, dat dey iz endowed by they Creator wiff certain unalienable Rights, dat among deez iz Life, Liberty an' da pursuit o' Happiness. — That ta secure deez rights, Governments iz instituted among Men, deriving they just powers from da consent o' da governed, — That whenever any Form o' Government becomes destructive o' deez ends, it iz da Right o' da People ta alter or ta abolish it, an' ta institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles an' organizing its powers in such form, as ta dem shall seem most likely ta effect they Safety an' Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate dat Governments long established should not be changed fo' light an' transient causes; an' accordingly all experience hath shewn dat mankind iz mo' disposed ta suffer, while evils iz sufferable than ta right themselves by abolishing da forms ta which dey iz accustomed. But when uh long train o' abuses an' usurpations, pursuing invariably da same Object evinces uh design ta reduce dem under absolute Despotism, it iz they right, it iz they duty, ta throw off such Government, an' ta provide new Guards fo' they future security. — Such has been da patient sufferance o' deez Colonies; an' such iz now da necessity which constrains dem ta alter they former Systems o' Government. The history o' da present King o' Great Britain iz uh history o' repeated injuries an' usurpations, all havin' in direct object da establishment o' an absolute Tyranny over deez States. To prove dis here, let Facts be submitted ta uh candid world.
He has refused his Assent ta Laws, da most wholesome an' necessary fo' da public pimp-tight.
He has forbidden his Governors ta pass Laws o' immediate an' pressing importance, unless suspended in they operation till his Assent should be obtained; an' when so suspended, he has utterly neglected ta attend ta dem.
He has refused ta pass other Laws fo' da accommodation o' large districts o' peeps, unless those peeps would relinquish da right o' Representation in da Legislature, uh right inestimable ta dem an' formidable ta tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, an' distant from da depository o' they Public Records, fo' da sole purpose o' fatiguing dem into compliance wiff his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, fo' opposing wiff manly firmness his invasions on da rights o' da peeps.
He has refused fo' uh long tyme, afta such dissolutions, ta cause others ta be elected, whereby da Legislative Powers, incapable o' Annihilation, gots returned ta da People at large fo' they exercise; da State remaining in da mean tyme exposed ta all da dangers o' invasion from without, an' convulsions within.
He has endeavoured ta prevent da population o' deez States; fo' dat purpose obstructing da Laws fo' Naturalization o' Foreigners; refusing ta pass others ta encourage they migrations hither, an' raising da conditions o' new Appropriations o' Lands.
He has obstructed da Administration o' Justice by refusing his Assent ta Laws fo' establishing Judiciary Powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone fo' da tenure o' they offices, an' da amount an' payment o' they salaries.
He has erected uh multitude o' New Offices, an' sent hither swarms o' Officers ta harass our peeps an' eat out they substance.
He has kept among us, in times o' peace, Standing Armies without da Consent o' our legislatures.
He has affected ta render da Military independent o' an' superior ta da Civil Power.
He has combined wiff others ta subject us ta uh jurisdiction foreign ta our constitution, an' unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent ta they Acts o' pretended Legislation:
For quartering large bodies o' armed troops among us:
For protecting dem, by uh mock Trial from punishment fo' any Murders which dey should commit on da Inhabitants o' deez States:
For cutting off our Trade wiff all parts o' da world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, o' da benefit o' Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas ta be tried fo' pretended offences:
For abolishing da free System o' English Laws in uh neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary da system, an' enlarging its Boundaries so as ta render it at once an example an' fit instrument fo' introducing da same absolute rule into deez Colonies
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws an' altering fundamentally da Forms o' our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, an' declaring themselves invested wiff power ta legislate fo' us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out o' his Protection an' waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, an' destroyed da lives o' our peeps.
He iz at dis here tyme transporting large Armies o' foreign Mercenaries ta compleat da werkz o' death, desolation, an' tyranny, already begun wiff circumstances o' Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in da most barbarous ages, an' totally unworthy da Head o' uh civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on da high Seas ta bear Arms against they Country, ta become da executioners o' they niggas an' Brethren, or ta fall themselves by they Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, an' has endeavoured ta bring on da inhabitants o' our frontiers, da merciless Indian Savages whose known rule o' warfare, iz an undistinguished destruction o' all ages, sexes an' conditions.
In every stage o' deez Oppressions We gots Petitioned fo' Redress in da most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions gots been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character iz thus marked by every act which may define uh Tyrant, iz unfit ta be da ruler o' uh free peeps.
Nor gots We been wanting in attentions ta our British brethren. We gots warned dem from tyme ta tyme o' attempts by they legislature ta extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We gots reminded dem o' da circumstances o' our emigration an' settlement here. We gots appealed ta they native justice an' magnanimity, an' we's gots conjured dem by da ties o' our common kindred ta disavow deez usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections an' correspondence. They too gots been deaf ta da voice o' justice an' o' consanguinity. We mus', therefore, acquiesce in da necessity, which denounces our Separation, an' hold dem, as we's hold da rest o' mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, da Representatives o' da united States o' America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing ta da Supreme Judge o' da world fo' da rectitude o' our intentions, do, in da Name, an' by Authority o' da pimp-tight People o' deez Colonies, solemnly publish an' declare, That deez united Colonies iz, an' o' Right ought ta be Free an' Independent States, dat dey iz Absolved from all Allegiance ta da British Crown, an' dat all political connection between dem an' da State o' Great Britain, iz an' ought ta be totally dissolved; an' dat as Free an' Independent States, dey gots full Power ta levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, an' ta do all other Acts an' Things which Independent States may o' right do. — And fo' da support o' dis here Declaration, wiff uh firm reliance on da protection o' Divine Providence, we's mutually pledge ta each other our Lives, our Fortunes, an' our sacred Honor.
slap mah fro!
