New jokes thread

what?

suprisingly enough, i laughed

what did the mama beaver say to the baby beaver when he left the house









SHUT THE DAM DOOR

^punny........haha

So a chick goes into the doctor's office. The doctor is a male and sees that the woman is the most beautiful, hot, (or whatever word you wanna use) woman he'd ever seen. So the doctor loses all professionalism and says take your pants off and starts rubbing her thighs. He says, do you know what i'm doing? She responds, Yes checking for any irregularities.

Next the doctor tells her to take off her shirt and bra and starts to rub her boobs and he says, " do you know what im doing? she responds yes checking for cancer.

The the doctor is just getting all excited and says alright take your thong off, lays her down on a table and starts to fuck her and says, do you know what im doing.

She responds, "yes getting herpes, that's what i came in for"

so a gay couple and a straight couple are sharing a house and one day there's a flood so everyone has to evacuate the house. the gay couple gets out fast but the straight couple ends up drowning and dying. how did the gay couple get out so fast?

how do you get 4 gay people to sit on a chair?
Flip it upside down :)

hahaha, i truly lol'd

three couples want to join a morman church (dont ask why idk) a elderly couple, a middleaged couple and newlyweds

the pastor tells them all that in order to join the church the are required to be abstidenet for two weeks

two weeks later they all come back

the pastor asks the elderly couple did you stay abstident the last two weeks?

the couple replies well we dont have sex much anyway so yeah it was easy

the pastor says welcome to our church

the middleaged couple says yeah it was hard and we fought a lot but we made it

the pastor says welcom to our church

then the newlyweds say well... we made it the first couple of days but then my wife bent over to grab somthing off the bottom shelf and i just had to take her right there

the pastor says well im sorry your not welcome to our church

the couple replies thats okay were not welcome at the grocery store either

hahaha best one so far. took some thinking at first