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why the angel is on top of the tree
so santas been pissed these last few weeks, elves are messing up the toys, putting four arms on barbie dolls and whatnot, the raindeer are getting fatter and fatter each day and dont want to fly, mrs. clause hasnt putout for months. lifes pretty rough.
one day santa says "alright we're doing a test run everybody get ready". nobodys ready for anything of the sort. so the raindeer are flying up and down tryin to make santa sick and toys are flyin out the back of the sleigh. santa tells them to go back, right before they touch down the raindeer fly him sideways and santa the toys and the sleigh goes crashin into the woods.
santas in really bad shape now, he walk into the house ans just as he sits down he hears, 'knock knock knock", so he gets back up, and goes to the door.
outside theres a little angel sent down from heaven with a tree in her arms, she says "santa, where should i put the tree?"
why dont women wear wrist waches???theres a clock on the stove
why are womens feet geneticly smaller then mens???so they can get closer to the sink
a truck drive hits a women whos fault is it??? the truck drivers...he shouldnt be driving in the kitchen anyway
what do gay horses eat....
HAYYY!!!!
im not tryin to be racist so use ur imagination
an apple and a minority fall from a tree at the same time who hits the ground first......the apple the minority got stopped by the rope
Therewas once this small very young kid who lived with his dear old Mom inside asmall home. They loved each other so much and one day this kid's mom comes toher dear old son and gently gives him a Rial and send him off to buy her somemeat so that she can cook dinner for the both of them. So, off this kid goesall chirpy and nice singing melodies on the way to the market get the meat thathis Mom wanted to cook and comes back with the same cheerful tone. On the way,he hears a man telling a purple flower joke. He gets the thought that if he tells the purple flower joke to his nice Mom then she will appreciate him more and love even more. So he reaches his home in no time, same cheerfulstate he had left earlier. 'Mommy, I got your meat', he goes. 'Thank you, mysweet dear', she would reply. He then says"mommy i heard a joke that i am going to tell you to make you even happier" 'That's sosweet of you my dear child, but what is it?', she smiles. 'The child tells the purple flower joke to his dear old nice Mom. Shocked, enraged,and fumed, she picks up an empty frying pan and hits the boy on his head. 'Getout!', she shouts. 'Help! Police! You Devil!', she would say at the top of hervoice.
The boy runs out of the small house that lives by the street. He runsand runs, crying and whaling about all the pain caused by his dear old Mom whothrashed him with an empty frying pan. He eventually stops at a corner of a garden, still whimpering about the pain caused by his dear old Mom. Then thisnice old nanny walks along the same garden smiling ever so cheerfully, and seesthis kid with tears in his eyes. 'What's the matter, little boy?', she asks.The boy, naturally wounded in his heart over his Mom thrashing him, says 'Iwanted to make my Mommy happy by telling her a joke'. Sniffing andblurting out the last words, the boy told the purple flower joke to the nanny,who in turn, is shocked, freaked out, and goes mental on the kid by thrashinghim with her walking cane whilst shouting out 'Help! Police! Help! You psycho!Help!'. She thrashes and thrashes the kid on and on and on. And the kid runsaway again..
He runs street after street after street crossing the roads fromone neighborhood to another. Eventually he stops again at another crossroad.Still whimpering about his bad day and how he got kicked out of his Mom's houseand by an old lady in public garden, comes along a nice young policeman whopasses by the little boy and sees him crying and on his own. 'What's thematter, young boy?', he asks. And the boy says ' I wanted to make my Mommyhappy by telling her a joke', and she flipped out so when i was sitting outside crying a lady came along and asked what was wrong and i told her the joke and she freaked so now i ran here. The policeman then says "well its just a joke it cant be that bad tell me" so the child tells him the purple flower joke and the policeman pulls out his gun and points it at the kid and shouts out,'Oh my God! Hands up! You mean machine, you!', and throws him into Jail.
Ourlittle boy is now in Jail and is put in with this humungous brutal man. Thisman turns around to see the boy crying, bruised, in pain, and whimpering andasks him, 'I was put in here for splitting a man in half because I caught himcheating with my wife; what about you?, in a gruntly voice. The boy, scaredfrom head to toe from this man in front of him, says in a shaky voice 'I - I -I .....I told a joke to my Mommy to make her happy', and she flipped out so when i was sitting outside crying a lady came along and asked what was wrong and i told her the joke and she freaked so now i ran away from here until a policeman stopped me and asked what was wrong so i explained the situation and told him the joke and he arrested me. The man said "its just a joke it cant be that bad tell me" so the child tells him the purple flower joke and the man was so scared that he almost craps in his pants, cries out tothe jail-house guard, 'Help! Guard! Get me out of here! Help!'. And with thatmakes a hole in the jail's wall trying to run for his life.
The little kid,still whimpering over his bad luck, walks out the hole in the wall. Comes upona street and crosses it. Bam! He's run over by an ambulance.
What is the moral of this story?
look both ways before crossing the street.
what did the elephant say to the naked man?
-sure its cool, but can you breathe out of that thing?
bahahaha!!!!!!1!!!1!!11!!!!!!!!1
on this note.
how do you get a minority out of your backyard? hang one in the front.
my minority friend told me that one, i was so shocked i almost fell over.
*Fixed version*
StartFragmentTherewas once this small very young kid who lived with his dear old Mom inside asmall home. They loved each other so much and one day this kid's mom comes toher dear old son and gently gives him a Rial and send him off to buy her somemeat so that she can cook dinner for the both of them.
So, off this kid goesall chirpy and nice singing melodies on the way to the market get the meat thathis Mom wanted to cook and comes back with the same cheerful tone. On the way,he hears a man telling a purple flower joke. He gets the thought that if he tells the purple flower joke to his nice Mom then she will appreciate him more and love even more. So he reaches his home in no time, same cheerfulstate he had left earlier.
'Mommy, I got your meat', he goes. 'Thank you, mysweet dear', she would reply. He then says"mommy i heard a joke that i am going to tell you to make you even happier" 'That's sosweet of you my dear child, but what is it?', she smiles. 'The child tells the purple flower joke to his dear old nice Mom. Shocked, enraged,and fumed, she picks up an empty frying pan and hits the boy on his head. 'Getout!', she shouts. 'Help! Police! You Devil!', she would say at the top of hervoice.
The boy runs out of the small house that lives by the street. He runsand runs, crying and whaling about all the pain caused by his dear old Mom whothrashed him with an empty frying pan.
He eventually stops at a corner of a garden, still whimpering about the pain caused by his dear old Mom. Then thisnice old nanny walks along the same garden smiling ever so cheerfully, and seesthis kid with tears in his eyes. 'What's the matter, little boy?', she asks.The boy, naturally wounded in his heart over his Mom thrashing him, says 'Iwanted to make my Mommy happy by telling her a joke'. Sniffing andblurting out the last words, the boy told the purple flower joke to the nanny,who in turn, is shocked, freaked out, and goes mental on the kid by thrashinghim with her walking cane whilst shouting out 'Help! Police! Help! You psycho!Help!'. She thrashes and thrashes the kid on and on and on. And the kid runsaway again..
He runs street after street after street crossing the roads fromone neighborhood to another. Eventually he stops again at another crossroad.Still whimpering about his bad day and how he got kicked out of his Mom's houseand by an old lady in public garden, comes along a nice young policeman whopasses by the little boy and sees him crying and on his own. 'What's thematter, young boy?', he asks. And the boy says ' I wanted to make my Mommyhappy by telling her a joke', and she flipped out so when i was sitting outside crying a lady came along and asked what was wrong and i told her the joke and she freaked so now i ran here. The policeman then says "well its just a joke it cant be that bad tell me" so the child tells him the purple flower joke and the policeman pulls out his gun and points it at the kid and shouts out,'Oh my God! Hands up! You mean machine, you!', and throws him into Jail.
Ourlittle boy is now in Jail and is put in with this humungous brutal man. Thisman turns around to see the boy crying, bruised, in pain, and whimpering andasks him, 'I was put in here for splitting a man in half because I caught himcheating with my wife; what about you?, in a gruntly voice. The boy, scaredfrom head to toe from this man in front of him, says in a shaky voice 'I - I -I .....I told a joke *fixed* and my mom got scared
And said "you're moving with your aunt and uncle in Bel-Air" I whistled for a cab and when it came near the License plate said "Fresh" and had a dice in the mirror If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought now forget it, yo home to Bel-Air I pulled up to a house about seven or eight
And I yelled to the cabby "Yo, home smell you later" Looked at my kingdom I was finally there
To settle my throne as the prince of Bel-Air
*Fixed version*
StartFragmentTherewas once this small very young kid who lived with his dear old Mom inside asmall home. They loved each other so much and one day this kid's mom comes toher dear old son and gently gives him a Rial and send him off to buy her somemeat so that she can cook dinner for the both of them.
So, off this kid goesall chirpy and nice singing melodies on the way to the market get the meat thathis Mom wanted to cook and comes back with the same cheerful tone. On the way,he hears a man telling a purple flower joke. He gets the thought that if he tells the purple flower joke to his nice Mom then she will appreciate him more and love even more. So he reaches his home in no time, same cheerfulstate he had left earlier.
'Mommy, I got your meat', he goes. 'Thank you, mysweet dear', she would reply. He then says"mommy i heard a joke that i am going to tell you to make you even happier" 'That's sosweet of you my dear child, but what is it?', she smiles. 'The child tells the purple flower joke to his dear old nice Mom. Shocked, enraged,and fumed, she picks up an empty frying pan and hits the boy on his head. 'Getout!', she shouts. 'Help! Police! You Devil!', she would say at the top of hervoice.
The boy runs out of the small house that lives by the street. He runsand runs, crying and whaling about all the pain caused by his dear old Mom whothrashed him with an empty frying pan.
He eventually stops at a corner of a garden, still whimpering about the pain caused by his dear old Mom. Then thisnice old nanny walks along the same garden smiling ever so cheerfully, and seesthis kid with tears in his eyes. 'What's the matter, little boy?', she asks.The boy, naturally wounded in his heart over his Mom thrashing him, says 'Iwanted to make my Mommy happy by telling her a joke'. Sniffing andblurting out the last words, the boy told the purple flower joke to the nanny,who in turn, is shocked, freaked out, and goes mental on the kid by thrashinghim with her walking cane whilst shouting out 'Help! Police! Help! You psycho!Help!'. She thrashes and thrashes the kid on and on and on. And the kid runsaway again..
He runs street after street after street crossing the roads fromone neighborhood to another. Eventually he stops again at another crossroad.Still whimpering about his bad day and how he got kicked out of his Mom's houseand by an old lady in public garden, comes along a nice young policeman whopasses by the little boy and sees him crying and on his own. 'What's thematter, young boy?', he asks. And the boy says ' I wanted to make my Mommyhappy by telling her a joke', and she flipped out so when i was sitting outside crying a lady came along and asked what was wrong and i told her the joke and she freaked so now i ran here. The policeman then says "well its just a joke it cant be that bad tell me" so the child tells him the purple flower joke and the policeman pulls out his gun and points it at the kid and shouts out,'Oh my God! Hands up! You mean machine, you!', and throws him into Jail.
Ourlittle boy is now in Jail and is put in with this humungous brutal man. Thisman turns around to see the boy crying, bruised, in pain, and whimpering andasks him, 'I was put in here for splitting a man in half because I caught himcheating with my wife; what about you?, in a gruntly voice. The boy, scaredfrom head to toe from this man in front of him, says in a shaky voice 'I - I -I .....I told a joke *fixed* and my mom got scared
And said "you're moving with your aunt and uncle in Bel-Air" I whistled for a cab and when it came near the License plate said "Fresh" and had a dice in the mirror If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought now forget it, yo home to Bel-Air I pulled up to a house about seven or eight
And I yelled to the cabby "Yo, home smell you later" Looked at my kingdom I was finally there
To settle my throne as the prince of Bel-Air
