Replying to I don't give a fuck.

And its one of the best things that has happened to my skiing. Let me explain; For as long as I can remember I have been somewhat apathetic about life in general. Sometime this late spring/early summer I made the decision that I just don't really care what happens anymore. I am not a complete failure, I still have a job, am in second year of college, have friends etc.. but I don't really give a fuck anymore about what happens in life. Or happens to me. Kind of like I quit trying and lost fear of getting hurt but at the same time funneling that negative energy into skiing. I guess its probably self destructive but at the same time I can seize the day, push myself and not worry about regrets. This summer when I was kayaking with some friends, I jumped off a cliff into a river that was so high that the impact gave me a bloody nose, cut up the inside of my mouth from my lips pressing against my teeth, and I had a headache for the next couple days. I did this because I wanted to scare the shit out of myself, somewhat desensitize my body to fear in hopes of further progressing this winter. Looking back on this past year, other than spending a week in Wyoming hiking with some of my family, I can honestly say that the only good memories I have are those of skiing or getting drunk with my friends. Its the best thing that has ever happened to me and I honestly don't know what I would do without it. Being alive can be difficult but its rewards can be great if you look for them.
Carpe Diem.

Sorry for the rant..