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October, 2024

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Most rediculous thing your parents have said to you.

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Chief.Woodcock
Posts: 1018 - Karma: 158
Your friends can't come over, they use too much electricity


You can't walk across the golf course, the coyotes will eat you.
Nov 18 2008 6:45PM
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Ben.
Posts: 21463 - Karma: 683
I was trying to put something together i cant remember what
Me: "Dammit i cant get this thing in!!!"

My Dad: "Hopefully you didnt have that problem with colleen (my gf) last night"

i just looked at him
Nov 18 2008 9:24PM
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prontocuts.com
Posts: 5244 - Karma: 42
When they said they would buy my groceries
Nov 18 2008 9:25PM
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Blurst
Posts: 13577 - Karma: 10,169
Hahahah
Nov 18 2008 9:27PM
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3mileanin
Posts: 58 - Karma: 16
"No sex till you're 25"
Nov 18 2008 9:36PM
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Chronic_
Posts: 1730 - Karma: 1,602

Mom - "If i catch you smoking weed im gonna ground you forever."
me- "But i found your weed yesterday!" (joking)

Mom - " WHY WERE YOU IN MY CLOSET??!"

Nov 18 2008 9:37PM
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doritos
Posts: 7368 - Karma: 53
Hahaha, that's great. I'm not gonna lie, I love it when dads say shit like that. Reminds me of a conversation I had with mine when I was going out with my first girlfriend.

"How are things going with your girl?"
"Eh... OK. She's kinda annoying me actually, I think I might end it soon"
"Oh? Well you should get a few other options lined up first. Don't wanna go cold turkey now that you're finally getting some"
"Dad, that was wrong on so many levels"
"Can't have a dry spell after a monsoon, Andrew. I'd wait"
"..."
Nov 18 2008 9:39PM
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k-rob
Posts: 14217 - Karma: 2,891
i might try that sometime, but i think i'd have an easier time reading the book sober haha
Nov 18 2008 9:41PM
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Talacious[Tally]
Posts: 1686 - Karma: 189

we were driving to steamboat and passes this park/campgroup called gateway park.

my dad says "huh gateway park would be a great place to get away with a kegger party without permission. you know since you are underage and all."

hmmm i take that as a sign to go have a kegger there...

Nov 18 2008 9:41PM
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Ben.
Posts: 21463 - Karma: 683
ahahahha. see the thing is, im not really sure if my parents know im doing it or not... so im never sure whether to laugh like its all a joke, because they really have no idea, or like its for real. it puts me in an awkward spot.
Nov 18 2008 9:43PM
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patrickstar
Posts: 486 - Karma: 20

haha my mom said

"it looks like your wearing a dress, you like stupid"

Nov 18 2008 9:43PM
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MCIRONCOCK
Posts: 3094 - Karma: 30
Hahaha that's hilarious. I wish my dad was more like yours. Mine is always super stressed out and it's really awkward to talk to him.
Nov 18 2008 9:44PM
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i.ski.troll.
Posts: 4692 - Karma: 247
mom: ayeee josh!(my mom wasted) come sit down here and have a glass of wine with me
me: id rather have a beer
mom: okay here you go
Nov 18 2008 10:00PM
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youknomysteeze
Posts: 416 - Karma: 10

Dad: do i have to talk to you about the whole baby like birds and bee shit
me:nah

Dad:good because that would be REALLLLYYY awkward

Nov 18 2008 10:01PM
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fsscott
Posts: 4684 - Karma: 114
you guys all know mine

mom:STOP SKIING

she's kinda over it now...
Nov 18 2008 10:17PM
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H0NKY
Posts: 250 - Karma: 18
as my mom finds my pants in my closet

parents "woah what kinda plants are these?!?"
me "mothers day present!"
Nov 18 2008 10:25PM
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sirskizalot
Posts: 4370 - Karma: 161
your dad sounds fucking hilarious.
Nov 18 2008 10:26PM
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B.Aussie
Posts: 5852 - Karma: 4,531

Mum: "I think you should be a lesbian until your 20. hmm then find a nice boy and have children when your 30. I want grand children. Just don't get pregnant. Actually do when you're 30 but not til then."    Me: "what" Mum:"Just become a lesbian". Me:"Mum I have a boyfriend" Mum: "Oh Yeah. Shit well this was pointless." Me:"Yeah mum whatevs" and walked off.

Yeah cool story haha

Nov 18 2008 10:27PM
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TonyTheTiger
Posts: 863 - Karma: 68
Dad: " When the cereal bowls get old they start to absorb the liquid you put in them and then you have to buy new ones. "

Me: "No."

Dad: Yes.



Hahahah what the fuck.
Nov 18 2008 10:29PM
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KravtZ
Posts: 6637 - Karma: 2,629
wild wings is fucken awsome for some reason theres always complications when i go like that and watnot
Nov 18 2008 10:40PM
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doritos
Posts: 7368 - Karma: 53
Hahahhaahaha, what the fuck is right. Awesome.
Nov 18 2008 10:58PM
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vincepru
Posts: 5474 - Karma: 17
have you been to france? 80% of the population there are either depressed, or are complete assholes. my dads entire side of the family lives there. and  if i were to move there it would either be paris, or angers.... no mountains, unless you drive a few hours away (i wont have a car there)  so that would be pointless. ive lived there before, and hated it. seriously, such a cold and bitter environment (people wise)
Nov 18 2008 11:04PM
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sweso2
Posts: 225 - Karma: 18
Chamonix?
Nov 18 2008 11:04PM
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Reptar.
Posts: 1509 - Karma: 34
Mom-What are you doing? Whats with all that music in the background?
Me- Mom, We're getting hyphy!
Mom-Don't know what that is-wait, your getting high?
Me-No mom, we're just going stoopid.
Mom-shut up.
Me-PUT YO STUNNA SHADES ON
Mom-Dylan i cant understand you
Me-GHOST RIDE DA WHIP
Mom-K bye.
Nov 18 2008 11:15PM
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phishfood
Posts: 2542 - Karma: 298
ahahahaah winner
Nov 18 2008 11:29PM
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Jballz
Posts: 1638 - Karma: 79
let me start off by saying i dont like my mom, i havent spoken to her in over a year she lives in seattle i live in portland she is a stay at home girl friend and has no job she is 45 lives with her boyfriend who she wont marry until alamony payments stop in 2 years.
now the story: se calls me 24 times in 20 minutes i dont pick the phone up on the first 23 times, i do on the  24th
she says im coming down to visit you when is a good time?
i say i dont know i will call you back after i look at my schedule.
i call her back and say im not doing anything on sunday after skiing around 5
she says im not wasting 8 hours of my sunday to come and see you
i hang up the phone
she calls back and says she didnt mean it and that she is under a ton of stress from the economy and asks if i think its the end of the world
i laugh out loud and hang up the phone.
she didnt call back
Nov 18 2008 11:30PM
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SteezyOhio
Posts: 6044 - Karma: 60
Mom- "the clothes you buy look like your a 300 lb homeless man."
"Tyler we are very proud of how you made over 6000 this summer but i think you should put all of the 3000 you have left away and get a job
Me- why i made 3000 i should be allowed to get new speakers atleast.
Mom- speakers are you kidding me if i hear you with those thump thump speakrs going down my road out of control ill take a ice pic to your car!"
me- technically its your car?"

Nov 18 2008 11:31PM
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freshlyDIPPED
Posts: 1160 - Karma: 121
o my god
Nov 18 2008 11:43PM
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sick-as-aids
Posts: 3453 - Karma: 1,007
hahah i lol'd hard at that, but no one else did, must be my sense of humour?


Nov 18 2008 11:49PM
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thathyphykid
Posts: 174 - Karma: 14
Me- Mom, i've just been smoking a lot of crack. And im tweeking out hellaaa
Mom- at least your not doing coke
Nov 18 2008 11:57PM
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-Kieran-
Posts: 1009 - Karma: 12
dad: Kieran! who let dogs out?

me: who? who? who? lol

Nov 19 2008 12:03AM
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user098123
Posts: 6072 - Karma: 18
hahaha i didn't notice that till you said something and then I laughed soo hard. Great find.
Nov 19 2008 12:13AM
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[MEGAMO]
Posts: 1222 - Karma: 18
not my parents, but my buddys dad. at his grad party, right before we went to college, and he is telling us about partying.

"you aren't going to enjoy just sitting around, i know that, but you gotta do your work first. its like my buddies in college. we would all do our homework, then when we were done, we'd go tell our RA and he'd say ok lets get drunk and wreck shit."

another great one was him calling my friend a fag for 2 weeks straight cuz he got his ears pierced
Nov 19 2008 12:14AM
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skiingonskis
Posts: 2076 - Karma: 262
Dad : "you get laid last night?"
Me :  yeah....
Dad : "nice, want a beer?"
Nov 19 2008 12:18AM
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a.sham
Posts: 118 - Karma: 75

these are all ridiculous...i love it.

over the summer i got a ticket doing like 80 in a 55 or something and so i get the thing in the mail for it and my dad walks in the kitchen takes it out of my hand reads it looks at me and says well...80 is 80 its straight up and just walks away.

it was great.

Nov 19 2008 12:32AM
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Irotate360
Posts: 6836 - Karma: 22
mom: "don't eat my peanuts before you go to bed, it'll give you nightmares"

^she really liked her peanuts.
Nov 19 2008 12:47AM
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A_Davis
Posts: 601 - Karma: 21
Mom found a bowl and a gram scale in my room.

" hey i found a pipe and a viedo game memory card in your room."
me- "oh yeah i knew it was there, pipes my friends"
her- " okay but why was there two boxes of ziplocks up there two"
me- "stuff"
oh okay
Nov 19 2008 12:56AM
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tomahawk
Posts: 2006 - Karma: 53
mom- you need to eat more fruit
me- no mom get off me im good
mom- here eat a banana
me- NO MOM YOU EAT ONE!!

mom- dont drive to school today
me-how will i get to school then?
mom-get in your car and drive
me- oh ok mom gotcha....
Nov 19 2008 1:02AM
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woolymammoth
Posts: 242 - Karma: 13

not my dad but a friends. 3 of us walk into his house and we see 2 wine bottles on the counter and his dad and mom watching soccer on the couch

Logan: hey dad, hows the game?

dad: games good, but speaking of yellow cards i went and walked seans dog today we went all the way up and down the big hill

logan:dad what does that have to do with yellow cards?

Dad thinks long and hard: Hmmm...... nothing

Nov 19 2008 1:54AM
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katrina
Posts: 2395 - Karma: 15,192

my dad was tryin to tell my sister and i to shut up when we were on a road trip when we were like 12 and he screamed at us:

"stop jerkin off back there"

my mom almost died lol

Nov 19 2008 2:12AM
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mizzike
Posts: 1386 - Karma: 251
hahaha oh man
Nov 19 2008 2:29AM
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OhioRiderSPK5
Posts: 968 - Karma: 24
you stoned yet son
Nov 19 2008 10:29AM
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[]Soul_Steeze[]
Posts: 2357 - Karma: 61

mom: why do you wear your pants so low? it looks like you just took a huge dump in your pants!!!

mom: i wish you'd stop being influenced by your friends. if they all jumped off a cliff, would you do that too?

me: haha if there was snow or water below it

Nov 19 2008 11:01AM
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BootySpunk.
Posts: 8148 - Karma: 84
Mom to my bro

"you dont need a coat you dont wear one when you ski"
Nov 19 2008 12:33PM
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THEDICKBUTCHER
Posts: 3067 - Karma: 673
me: mom im scared im gonna injure my knee skiing again
mom: its ok honey just be careful skiing, dont do those jumps or rails, dont ski in the trees either that's dangerous and try to not go too fast... or just dont ski, choose another sport like ice skating!!
me: ha..ha.. ok mom thanks!!

my dad as i walk out the door to chill with friends "just remember cocaine is bad for you!"

my dad whos pretty much just learning to ski... haha was like "oh now you can just give me your old pair of skis! (164 k2 PE's), you only need 1 pair of skis"

when i came to my dad's house baked (I'm not stupid he just doesnt care, he used to sell weed in high school haha) he goes "ohh maan haha nothing you can do" (to himself)
Nov 19 2008 12:52PM
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wh@t
Posts: 6204 - Karma: 51
i walk in blazed as fuck and start eating pickles
dad: Serge, go do your homework.
me: dad, its July...

mom: Serge, ive noticed your legs have become alot stronger since ski season started.
me: you look at my legs?
mom: have you been taking anything like steroids to make your legs stronger?
me: why would i...
mom: well i'd think it'd be to get the girls to look at you.
me: at my legs?
10 seconds
me: mom, youre fuckin weird.

Nov 19 2008 12:57PM
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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
your facepage
Nov 19 2008 3:26PM
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gunstalk
Posts: 336 - Karma: 10

"if you keep running up your phone bill i WILL have to kill you and sell your kindneys and other body parts to pay for it" i love my mom

Nov 19 2008 3:53PM
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Phill.
Posts: 1149 - Karma: 37
lol..... right when i pushed the reply buton i realized how it sounded..... haha
Nov 19 2008 4:06PM
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no_steeze_in_NY
Posts: 225 - Karma: 13

a few days after getting busted smoking

me-"mom what did you do with my bong?"

mom-"your father smashed and threw it in the river because we were pretty sure that kids dad was gonna call the police"

Nov 19 2008 5:21PM
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DrStrangelove
Posts: 1948 - Karma: 3
"Aspen? Well yeah, that's a perfectly fine place for a guy your age to move as soon as you get out of college...what? No, I'm not being sarcastic...no, I'm not 'fucking' with you either, don't use that kind of language."

- My mom like 6 months ago...I was prepared for that convo to turn into a 30 minute debate over my future goals and blah blah blah, but the whole thing lasted like 20 seconds...then we talked about the weather cause I hadn't thought past it.
Nov 19 2008 5:31PM
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