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Sexual Lymrics

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nickman
Posts: 804 - Karma: 10

There once was a woman with a rack

So large it put stress on her back

She walked like a cripple

with her gigantic nipples

The woman with the enormous rack.

There once was a robber from France

Who hid all his Jewels in his pants

When asked to divulge

the source of his bulge

he said "something you couldn't afford."


Im talented eh?

Write your own or w/e

Nov 13 2008 6:53PM
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hellomynameisjef
Posts: 5794 - Karma: 167
there once was a dude who skied

in his girlfriends butt he peed

im out of rhymes
someone finish it
Nov 13 2008 7:04PM
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nickman
Posts: 804 - Karma: 10

There once was a dude who skied

In his girlfriends butt he peed

She started to bellow

Her anus now yellow

And shes not his girlfriend no more.

Nov 13 2008 7:11PM
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Horizon
Posts: 368 - Karma: 21
There once was a lesbian from Nantucket.

Who finally said just fuck it.

She took to the street.

Like a dog in heat.

Just prowling for a girl to eat.




Ya know......ya I'm surprised I thought of that to lol.  Mods delete if you have to haha.
Nov 13 2008 7:11PM
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Malcolm
Posts: 15951 - Karma: 9,451

there once was a joey named chad

whos chad was as big as his dads

he met a chad named joey

and it made him very sad

Nov 13 2008 7:18PM
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Way*Mo
Posts: 641 - Karma: 2,071
There once was a man named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
He said i have to admit
I'm a bit of a shit
But think of the money I save

There once was a man named Lee
Who slept with an ape in a tree
The results were so horrid
All dick and no forehead
Three balls and a purple goatee

There once was a girl named Jill
Who had a vagina of steel
You could give her a thrill
With a pneumatic drill
Or an offset emery wheel

There once was a bot named Astair
Who was banging his girl on the stair
The banister broke
He doubled his stroke
And finished her off in midair
Nov 13 2008 7:47PM
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Uncle_Remus
Posts: 1880 - Karma: 368
there once was a man from nantucket
his dick was so big he could suck it
he said if his ear was a cunt he would fuck it
Nov 13 2008 7:57PM
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MCIRONCOCK
Posts: 3094 - Karma: 30
Hahaha those were great
Nov 13 2008 7:59PM
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Microcosm
Posts: 4765 - Karma: 153
hahaha oh shit.
Nov 13 2008 8:26PM
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JasperGphoto
Posts: 398 - Karma: 995
best so far
Nov 13 2008 8:30PM
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CarRamRod
Posts: 533 - Karma: 28
There once was a man from Peru
He fell asleep in a canoe
He had a dream about venus
and played with his penis
and woke up with a hand full of goo
Nov 13 2008 8:34PM
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eheqth
Posts: 124 - Karma: 12
there once was a man named scott vail
who was told by many he'd failed

but he tried the expert village free trial
now he's famous and won the king of style

he gave away his advanced skiing techniques
that he had been perfecting for weeks

from spread eagles to skiing rails.
he realized no one could compete with SVAIL

he later called up his friend Richard Mymrics
who told him this has nothing to do with sexual lymrics
Nov 13 2008 8:45PM
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Balto
Posts: 25985 - Karma: 4,404
hahahahaha
Nov 13 2008 9:08PM
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Ben.
Posts: 21463 - Karma: 683
its actually


there once was a man from nantuckett
whose dick was so long he could suck it
he said with a grin
as it dripped from his chin
if my ear were a cunt i would fuck it
Nov 13 2008 9:13PM
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Blurst
Posts: 13577 - Karma: 10,169
on that note...
imagine if your dick was so long you could wear it as a belt. Ive always had this stupid thought that a girl would come up to rub it because it was such a nice belt. Then you would get a boner and it would whip out and slap her.
Just a thought...
Nov 13 2008 9:27PM
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pianoman
Posts: 2503 - Karma: 779
first!!1!1!11!!1!!!!
Nov 13 2008 9:34PM
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Ben.
Posts: 21463 - Karma: 683
ahahahahahaha
Nov 13 2008 9:37PM
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Horizon
Posts: 368 - Karma: 21
Sarah was having no fun
Cause her guy couldn't get her to cum
So after he was gone
She pulled out her dong
Never again, will he get some




There once was a wizard
Who was snowed in from a blizzard
So he put on his hat
And logged in to chat
And proceeded to play with his lizard


Nov 13 2008 9:39PM
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notomatoplz
Posts: 1377 - Karma: 29
There once was a hermit named dave
Who kept a dead whore in his cave
She smelled like shit
And was missing a tit
But think of the money he saved
Nov 13 2008 9:51PM
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General_Shredgnar
Posts: 3024 - Karma: 34
there once was a stripper named dave
because dave was a man who had shaved
his genitals off
bob puked and then coughed
when bob knew with who he had laid.


There once was a fellow named Hope
who's dick was as long as a rope
a girl tried to suck it,
but choked, kicked the bucket
but he fucked her ass only to cope
Nov 13 2008 9:54PM
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Horizon
Posts: 368 - Karma: 21
Jimmy thought to himself, sweet
Cause he finally touched a teat
The girl wasn't amused
Told the cops she was abused
Now Jimmy doesn't think it was so neat




Damn I'm such a poet, and I didn't even know it.

Nov 13 2008 10:01PM
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purplejumpsuit
Posts: 2208 - Karma: 157
hahahaha. amazing
Nov 13 2008 10:06PM
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ButteredToast.
Posts: 6459 - Karma: 2,570
HHAAHAH these are awesome

Nov 13 2008 10:07PM
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Horizon
Posts: 368 - Karma: 21
Tim had a look of shock
As he peered down at his cock
it was covered in red
And so was the bed
So he wiped himself off with his sock




Nov 13 2008 10:26PM
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B.Aussie
Posts: 5852 - Karma: 4,531

Haha that's so going as my sig.

These are all hilarious.

Nov 14 2008 5:13AM
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ShredBetty
Posts: 478 - Karma: 23
dirrrrty!
haha
Nov 14 2008 11:51AM
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ShredBetty
Posts: 478 - Karma: 23
dirrrrty!
haha
Nov 14 2008 11:52AM
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ShredBetty
Posts: 478 - Karma: 23
oops didn't mean to double post...

there once was a girl who could shred
and brought many boys into her bed
she'd hop right on top
and tell them "don't stop!"
then got on her knees and gave head



Nov 14 2008 11:59AM
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