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November, 2024

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I merked a squirrel in my living room with a blow gun last night

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Ender
Posts: 2348 - Karma: 112
Ok, under normal circumstances I would have gotten out the have-a-heart trap and released him into the wild, but I had just gotten home from a 12 hour work day running on 4 hours of sleep and I had to get up at 6:30 to vote today.  I just wanted to fucking go to bed.  This squirrel fell down my chimney and was making all this noise, knocking shit over and my dog was barking at it every 5 minutes.  After trying to calm the dog down I opted for the only thing I had in my room capable of dispatching the dumb fuck critter in my house.  I went out into the room, turned on a lamp and saw it perched on the log holder by the fireplace.  I took aim and shot a 3 inch dart directly into it.  It quickly scampered back up the chimney and I headed to bed with no remorse.  Ill check it when I get home.
Nov 4 2008 12:18PM
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notime_for_jokes
Posts: 554 - Karma: 11

am i the only one on the whole site who thinks that : shooting animalswith any kind of gun, killing animals, hitting them with wakeskates(funny but still dickmove) and hurting animals is bad?

Nov 4 2008 6:38PM
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WikiWiki
Posts: 5584 - Karma: 426
when  i was younger we used to have this littlew popnd in our backyard- anyway one day we caught a frog- me and my little bro- he was like 4 and i was 6- i didnt want to be the one to kill it so i got my little bro- he took a big rock and i showed him how to hit it- he fucking smashed that thing- i feell kinda nad today- we have a stone wall in our yard and these chipmunks kept digging holes into it- making it crumble- so we decided it was time- first we poison in all the holes- they were still their- then we started killing them with bb guns- this worked but there were still a few- so one day i found their burrow- we knew they were in there- so we took like 3 m80's and tied them together put it in their and plugged the hole- needless to say we dont have chipmunk problems anymore
Nov 4 2008 6:55PM
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fujarome
Posts: 8630 - Karma: 1,561
yea i agree. I love the squirrels around my college, i wouldn't want to hit one or anything. I feel bad if i even think hit one with my car! I can understand some of the stuff like hunting deer etc, but they hunt them normally for a reason and they don't torture them and watch them die.
Nov 4 2008 7:01PM
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Ender
Posts: 2348 - Karma: 112
yea but they're fucking delicious
Nov 4 2008 7:05PM
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tBatt
Posts: 9632 - Karma: 580
word. im not a fan of hunting myself, but damn when it shows up on my plate i get a grin

on another note, i see you changed your icon

Nov 4 2008 7:07PM
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Ender
Posts: 2348 - Karma: 112
yea i was bored at work today and was tired of my old one
Nov 4 2008 7:10PM
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Tucks
Posts: 2120 - Karma: 161
Both blow guns and wrist rockets are the best weapons
Nov 4 2008 7:10PM
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Merrrick
Posts: 529 - Karma: 717

One night, my bother, my brothers friend and me were coming home from a show and as we were going down the road we were listening to music and then all of a sudden a HUGE ass possom was just sitting in the middle of the road.  My brothers friend was driving and he decided to swerve so the possom would go inbetween the tires but instead, he hit the possom with his front right tire.  So we hit the possommand we were like ok whatever but then my brothers friend slams on the brakes about 100 feet after we had hit it and we said "what are you doing"...his response was (with a crazy southern accent and killer tone to his voice) "I GOTTA SEE MY KILLIN".  ha turned around and drove back and when we saw it, there was a possom sitting there with its head COMPLETELY smashed and it looked like it was melded to the road but the most fucked up thing was that its body was still moving around.  It was sooooo gross and i almost threw up. Just picture it, a possom like twitching and wiggling around with its brains smashed all over the road. fucked up

This thread is dope

Nov 4 2008 7:13PM
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Canuker
Posts: 4730 - Karma: 165

correction

This thread is full of fucking ownage

Nov 4 2008 7:15PM
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BMskier
Posts: 3363 - Karma: 365

back in my prime slingshot shooting days i would sit above my garage and make sure chipmunks would not go in. do you know how small chipmunks are? those lil buggers are tiny.

i also propped a box up with a stick and had a rope attached to the sticka dn sat 50 feet away and after about 20 minutes a blue jay went for the bird seed i had baited under the box and i pulled the rope and the stick came out and the blue jay was captured. i did the same with a squirrel.

Nov 4 2008 7:18PM
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Ender
Posts: 2348 - Karma: 112
all these stories just made me remember the one of the only other times ive fucked with an animal

a woodpecker was pecking at the eves of my moms house destroying the wood so after a few days i opened a window below it an shot it in the head with an airsoft glock.  it fucking stopped pecking
Nov 4 2008 7:24PM
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intifada
Posts: 931 - Karma: 263
yeah i don't see the appeal of killing animals for no reason at all even if it is only a squirrel or bird.
Nov 4 2008 7:32PM
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Reed.S
Posts: 1126 - Karma: 10
you should have recorded all of this
Nov 4 2008 7:56PM
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tBatt
Posts: 9632 - Karma: 580
hahaha what about bees next + uncle + paintball gun
thats a dece one
Nov 4 2008 7:57PM
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Hannah.
Posts: 4625 - Karma: 56
hah whenever i hear merk it means eat to me
Nov 4 2008 9:07PM
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JQ89
Posts: 432 - Karma: 10
thats epic dude, kinda unrelated but i shook up a bottle of tonic water and shot it was a 30-30 from like 50 yards away, it was sick thing blew up into like a million pieces
Nov 4 2008 9:40PM
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Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,014
there was a big mole in my garage once, it has another name close to nokia, but i forgot it now, but me and my neighbor pushed it out, and it sat in the driveway, and we ended up launching it with a lacrosse stick about ten feet so it finally ran away
Nov 4 2008 9:45PM
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inactive
Posts: 4772 - Karma: 97
Click for larger image
Nov 4 2008 9:54PM
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ECfreeski3
Posts: 12019 - Karma: 126
hahahaha
Nov 4 2008 10:00PM
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birdshake
Posts: 1228 - Karma: 71
Ive been hearing mice runnin around in the ceiling in my basement lately so I set up a trap not thinking they actually work and the next morning I see theres a mouse in it with its eyes bulging out and some shit stickin out its ass so I threw it in the crazy ladies lawn that lives across the street. since then Ive got 2 more its a pretty sweet feeling
Nov 4 2008 11:35PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,273
i don't kill animals for fun but i'll kill them if they're fucking with anything around my house

i beat down a bat with my hand once by accident, it was flying around and i tried swatting it but i didn't expect to hit it but i fucking wrecked the thing, took it right out of the air and it just lay on the floor twitching
Nov 4 2008 11:40PM
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miralas
Posts: 584 - Karma: 10
1. once i was ridin bike on this trail and a friend and i herd some groaning in the grass. it turned out to be a deer, but somethin was wrong with it cuz it didnt run from us. we though it must have been super sick, sooooo.... we killed it with this huge rock.

2.once caveman. and i were riding bike on this river edge trail and he saw a group of gees he tought he should stair. same like the guy above, they decided not to move til last minute and ended up taken one to the head. funniest shit ive ever seen.
Nov 5 2008 12:04AM
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0123456789
Posts: 9226 - Karma: 148
haha this one time me and this kid went to lake george and got some blowguns/darts, we ran out of blowdarts so we started using thumb tacks, which work great BTW. anyways i took a thumb tack to the wrist, it stuck in there good, then later we went cruising around my neighborhood and hunt some squirls and shit, i nailed a squirl in the back wit a thumb tack. it didnt die, just booked it outta there with a purple thumb tack chillin in its back haha
Nov 5 2008 1:02AM
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~~JEFF~~
Posts: 1045 - Karma: 301
Dude fucking diseased cats, weird, thats REALLY gangster. I wonder where all the diseased cats come from....?
Nov 5 2008 1:21AM
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gmack24
Posts: 4636 - Karma: 31
at my old house we had a metal fence behind the house, and me and my brother would always wait for them to walk by and shoot at them with bb guns. eventually after getting a few of them they would creep on the fence while behind the neighbors house like ninjas then do an all out sprint by our house (still on top of the fence) and we would always shoot hundreds of shots at them. it was so hilarious, they knew what to expect. One time when I was younger I got one of the squirrels, then my brother who was like 13 went up to it with a red ryder and shot it like 20 times because he didn't think it was dead. (his gun never killed them, we would always see ones he hit with like lifelong bruises on them, it was mad funny)
Nov 5 2008 1:41AM
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JordanClarke
Posts: 998 - Karma: 1,922
hahaha great story you made my night
Nov 5 2008 1:45AM
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Elijah.
Posts: 9322 - Karma: 76
I used to cap birds with my neighbor with our BB guns when I was little. Always felt bad for killing them, but you know how it is.
Nov 5 2008 1:58AM
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PASKIINGSUCKS
Posts: 9097 - Karma: 777
I just offed a turkey at my house the other day with a 2x4. It was hit by a car and hanging out wounded by the road. When we approached it the thing just hobbled away in a poor attempt to flee. For sure had broken leg or wing or something.

So we're figuring we should kill this thing to put it out of it's misery. I got guns but I wasn't gonna bang off a shotgun just to kill a wounded turkey. We thought about the machete or hatchet to the neck but figure that would be too messy or we might have to hold it down. We were almost gonna go for the decapitation, I mean it has been a long time since I've seen a bird run around without it's head. We decided against it though when we figured it would look pretty sad as the thing couldn't even run as it was. Also I then remembered a 3 foot 2x4 was laying very close by.

So yeah after a quick rock paper scissors match I was deemed the executioner. With a little distraction up front by my buddy and his dog I was within striking distance from behind. One quick and calculated swing later tom turkey was lying on the ground twiching for about 20 seconds taking his last breaths. A quick toss in the woods and it was dinner for some scavenger that night, I would have ate it myself but I'm sure the meat was wrecked by the car collision or whatever maimed it in the first place.
Nov 5 2008 10:16AM
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OldManFinkyBeans
Posts: 217 - Karma: 16

Ok, under normal circumstances I would have gotten out the have-a-heart trap and released him into the wild, but I had just gotten home from a 12 hour work day running on 4 hours of sleep and I had to get up at 6:30 to vote today.  I just wanted to fucking go to bed.  This squirrel fell down my chimney and was making all this noise, knocking shit over and my dog was barking at it every 5 minutes.  After trying to calm the dog down I opted for the only thing I had in my room capable of dispatching the dumb fuck critter in my house.  I went out into the room, turned on a lamp and saw it perched on the log holder by the fireplace.  I took aim and shot a 3 inch dart directly into it.  It quickly scampered back up the chimney and I headed to bed with no remorse.  Ill check it when I get home.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA

super bad ass

props props props
Nov 5 2008 11:36AM
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