Member of the Month

hi_vis360
November, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Best gaper comments

profile picture
sol.
Posts: 231 - Karma: 181

yeah, im not sure if there's ever been a thread about this before, but i searchbarrd and didnt find anything, so:

favorite things you've ever heard a gaper say....

"man, those trick skis go fast!"

Oct 28 2008 1:47PM
0 0
profile picture
PC_Jibblet
Posts: 413 - Karma: 12
After I ate total shit off a jump and got the wind knocked out of me and was standing to the side of the run...this asain gaper came up and said "You Ok? You look tired"...I thought it was pretty obvious that I couldnt breathe with my hands in the air buti guess that must make me look tired
Nov 8 2008 2:10AM
0 0
profile picture
NC-skier
Posts: 423 - Karma: 49

haha

Nov 8 2008 9:13AM
0 0
profile picture
cams
Posts: 3937 - Karma: 27
" I could do a 920 corkscrew "


Nov 8 2008 12:40PM
0 0
profile picture
Soundgarden
Posts: 164 - Karma: 19
One of my friends was standing on the deck of a step down, and my other friend proceeds to jump over him doing like a three or something. then some random dude in a cowboy hat and jeans comes up to us "yeeehawww, do you get frequent flyer miles for that!?!?!?!"

hahaha
Nov 8 2008 12:49PM
0 0
profile picture
spliff.Life
Posts: 7847 - Karma: 1,549
https://www.newschoolers.com/web/forums/readthread/thread_id/354011/


learn to searchbar
Nov 8 2008 12:58PM
0 0
profile picture
mosh.warrior
Posts: 26 - Karma: 10
texan gaper: some girl came out of the trees goin slower that mollases and i almost hit her
Nov 8 2008 1:32PM
0 0
profile picture
pmw
Posts: 5760 - Karma: 831
haha gaper on the chairlift with his eaqualy gumbly daughter "oh this seat ride only goes halfway up, we will be down in a nano second" i just pissed myslef laughhing riht there
Nov 8 2008 2:21PM
0 0
profile picture
NC-skier
Posts: 423 - Karma: 49
^haha seat ride
Nov 8 2008 5:56PM
0 0
profile picture
treesmann
Posts: 2675 - Karma: 49
theres a new kid who works at my shop and i suspected him of bein a gaper. today he asked me this:

Do you dress like a snowboarder or do u wear gay jackets and pants?

i was so shocked by that question that i didnt event reply
Nov 8 2008 9:53PM
0 0
profile picture
gnarmada
Posts: 235 - Karma: 17
i was skiing teles and some guy came up to me with a texas accent, DAMN GANGSTERS AND THE BIG CLOTHES AND CROSS COUNTRY SKIS! YOU GUYS ARE INSANE!
Nov 8 2008 10:23PM
0 0
profile picture
TannerBalls
Posts: 3197 - Karma: 1,310
I pooped off a chair lift on to a gaper and he said some one pooped on him
Nov 8 2008 11:04PM
0 0
profile picture
hardboots
Posts: 60 - Karma: 698

i was at the top of the park waiting in line for the first jump and there were these two gapers at least 40yr+ so immediately im like ok... wtf........ anyway some snowboarders pull up behind just in time to see the first guy drop to do the jump. the guy goes down and tries a 3 which was all fucked up and back breaking twisting hoola hoop thing and looked like he stacked preety bad and i say out loud "woooww..." as in lol in a nice way. anyway the guy he was with turns to me and says "yeh... he's goood!" and was sooo serious i couldnt help laughin i felt bad but it was too good. i turned around and the snowboarder was laughin soo hard. fuck good times...

Nov 9 2008 1:18AM
0 0
profile picture
twoplankerbean
Posts: 780 - Karma: 47

I always like when talking to someone and they say "I ride quite a bit."  I say, "Yeah?  How often do you make it up?"  "At least six or seven times a season."

I laugh on the inside, but then remember that we all have different priorities.  Still, funny.

Nov 9 2008 2:49AM
0 0
profile picture
Elg
Posts: 2998 - Karma: 3,880
Saying eruo kinda sounds like a fucking moron too you know...
Nov 9 2008 2:59AM
0 0
profile picture
sneveTs
Posts: 179 - Karma: 10
a neighbor across the hall just walked into my room and says "dude everyone in aspen is riding backwards now"

....
Nov 9 2008 3:13AM
0 0
profile picture
BemDog
Posts: 37 - Karma: 116

I am stuck at Christy Sports Powder Daze sale right now and they are playing ski movies.  Everyone seems so excited/amazed that skiers can land and take off backwards now.  Where have these people been?  God I love tent sales!

Oh, another good comment was, "No honey, those are snowboard helmets, we need the ski helmets."

Sep 5 2009 12:18PM
0 0
profile picture
I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
WTF!?












is that a raccoon wearing a 50-cent chain?!?!
Sep 5 2009 12:30PM
0 0
profile picture
JMUIR
Posts: 133 - Karma: 58
went into a shop in montreal, and this woman directed me to all the ski clothes which looked like they were from the 80's cos i said i was a skier, then i started looking at the snowboard outwerwear and she said, 'oh you dont want that stuff if youre a skier, snowboard clothes are baggier because they do more physical activity so need more room to move, skiers have tighter clothes cos they dont move as much'
Sep 5 2009 12:38PM
0 0
profile picture
_steffen_
Posts: 904 - Karma: 133
damn i would smack a bitch
Sep 5 2009 1:02PM
0 0
profile picture
Davy.Crockett
Posts: 5373 - Karma: 324
its in last years meatheads trailer

Sep 5 2009 1:04PM
0 0
profile picture
dodgey
Posts: 590 - Karma: 266
one time i was riding up a chairlift with these gapers when one of them turns to the other and says " how do they get them bumps in the run?" (talking about moguls) the other one says "i reckon they have a mold or somerthing"

classic
Sep 5 2009 1:30PM
0 0
profile picture
H8CH
Posts: 2709 - Karma: 218

right i'm off to search You Tube, Vimeo, google Vid the lot now for Gapers and gaper quotes... must be some comedy shit out there.... Gaper vids on you tube - hit it.....!!

Sep 5 2009 3:51PM
0 0
profile picture
H8CH
Posts: 2709 - Karma: 218
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qhisLF_ntQ

Sep 5 2009 3:58PM
0 0
profile picture
H8CH
Posts: 2709 - Karma: 218
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Df2bWR3Wr0U&feature=related

ha ha ha who made this!! The editing with the music is ill.... ha.... classic gaper snake to death.

I just spat coffee everywhere watching this backseat bandit...

Sep 5 2009 4:10PM
0 0
profile picture
eNeRGy
Posts: 270 - Karma: 48
"do you own both of your skis?"
"can you do a helicopter spin?"
Sep 5 2009 4:15PM
0 0
profile picture
Thenowhereman42
Posts: 5682 - Karma: 65
I ski almost exclusively with snowboarders and I swear that every single one of them thinks that skiing without poles is either much harder or impossible.

"That guy's better than you, he can hit a rail without poles."
Sep 5 2009 5:27PM
0 0
profile picture
Thenowhereman42
Posts: 5682 - Karma: 65
Well, you could.
Sep 5 2009 5:39PM
0 0
profile picture
50in07
Posts: 3070 - Karma: 1,471

"Are both of those skis yours"

"I can 720 onto a rail"

Sep 5 2009 10:45PM
0 0
profile picture
.jesus.
Posts: 2288 - Karma: 22
repost but i dont give a shit so on like the last week my mtn was open its a pretty ill pow day if you'll believe that so im on the lift with these three gaper ladys and they ask me what kind of skis im on i tell armada jj's and thier like what? so i tell em about armada and then one of them says im gonna got to the shop and ask for the pirate skis and she said pirates of the carrbian would be the only way she would remember them so i was like wtf? ok?
Sep 5 2009 11:16PM
0 0
profile picture
JOHNishi
Posts: 118 - Karma: 11
"How do you guys ski with your pants so low?"
Sep 5 2009 11:43PM
0 0
profile picture
Ryan*
Posts: 1827 - Karma: 1,195
Johnny (Gaper): My friend can do a backflip 180 on a snowboard!
Me:  Johnny, no he can't.
Johnny: Yes he can!
Mack (my friend): Johnny, how do you know he can?  Have you seen him?
Johnny: No...he told me he could!  And his brother too!
Sep 6 2009 1:18AM
0 0
profile picture
TheUngroomed
Posts: 1251 - Karma: 335
old dude
You know you go faster if you ski forwards... i then started buttering and skied past him

Liftie
Yo homie!
Me
Whats up?
Him
That bandana makes you look like a thug
Me
I am a thug
Him
Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit...... then he ran away and started talking to some people and pointing at me and shit
I'm hella short and bout the farthest you can get from thug
Sep 6 2009 1:36AM
0 0
profile picture
Chris.S
Posts: 881 - Karma: 30
everyone has heard this one.
Sep 6 2009 2:52AM
0 0
profile picture
TheMoostafian
Posts: 4504 - Karma: 9,435
i saw some dumb asian kid eat shit off a little rock that was MAYBE like 10 feet

and i rode up on the lift with him and his friends like 5 minutes later and he was talking about how he "fell off a 70 foot cliff but almost landed" haha i was laughing so hard and they asked what i was laughing about and i just kinda ignored them and pretened to answer my phone
Sep 6 2009 5:14AM
0 0
profile picture
eNeRGy
Posts: 270 - Karma: 48
is snow skiing kinda like water skiing?
Sep 9 2009 10:54PM
0 0
profile picture
Funnel
Posts: 7816 - Karma: 1,534
That's not really a gaper question if you have never snow skied, that's actually a pretty good question to ask if you have water skied, but never snow skied. 

My favorite: "LOOK AT THOSE SNOWBOARD SKIS!"
Sep 9 2009 10:59PM
0 0
profile picture
eNeRGy
Posts: 270 - Karma: 48
^^^^^^^^^^ummm yea its a gaper question
who hasnt skied?
a gaper
Sep 9 2009 11:20PM
0 0
profile picture
Forkstealer
Posts: 508 - Karma: 16
"Just got my Cork 1 truckdrivers down dude yeah"
Sep 10 2009 12:18AM
0 0
profile picture
SEABURN
Posts: 4859 - Karma: 2,762
it is possible...
Sep 11 2009 1:27AM
0 0
profile picture
Freeheel4real
Posts: 909 - Karma: 95
After building a medium sized kicker into some powder off the beginner hill.....with shovel in hand

gaper: you buildin a jump?
me: no it's a super mogul
gaper: whats that?
me: its like a jump but it forces you to do a triple backflip, wanna take it?
gaper: no, rode away
Sep 11 2009 2:00AM
0 0
profile picture
iLLbiLLy
Posts: 2865 - Karma: 2,631
"How do i get my shoe out of this boot?!"

I worked at a rental store in NC.  We had like 500 floridiot's(people from florida) coming in every night.  I saw alot of things that did shame to skiing.


Sep 11 2009 2:01AM
0 0
profile picture
Phantom
Posts: 908 - Karma: 180
i had some gaper in jeans lecture me on how he didn't like the new "shaped" skis, and how he just got new bindings yearly. he was on some red, 0-sidecut things from at least the 80s with indeed new bindings. he also had a total of 5 teeth at a ripe old age of 30-something.


Sep 11 2009 2:08AM
0 0
profile picture
Beach
Posts: 237 - Karma: 26
Not a gaper... smart man if you have shitty chains
Sep 11 2009 4:38AM
0 0
profile picture
dunkaroos
Posts: 2574 - Karma: 633

some kid in a race suit said to me:

"Dude your goggles go around your helmet, not under it."

I proceeded to ride away shaking my head

Sep 11 2009 10:37PM
0 0
profile picture
joshua
Posts: 5046 - Karma: 1,280
helicopter is an old-school term for a 3
Sep 11 2009 10:53PM
0 0
profile picture
tinkytwinky
Posts: 2451 - Karma: 1,571

old bitch who claimed i cut her in the line

"you like dressing like one of those boarder punks dont cha? with those goggles where i cant see your eyes. Trying to scare me are ye! son ive seen so much worse in my day! Its punks like you that will make me sleep well tonight"

The last line made absolutely no sence to me.

Sep 11 2009 11:13PM
0 0
profile picture
noscottno711
Posts: 69 - Karma: 11
some of these posts are kind of lame.  like the average person doesn't know the difference between a cork and and a rodeo and a misty.  don't rag on em because of it!
Sep 12 2009 12:04AM
0 0
profile picture
mezzy
Posts: 298 - Karma: 15
i had lunch detention w/ my math teacher and he started talking about skiing w/ me and i said something about a terrain park and he said "whats that?" so i said its got like rails and jumps so he knew what i was talking about and he said "huh so do they just have these at only 1 or 2  ski resorts here?"
Sep 12 2009 1:11AM
0 0
profile picture
*simba*
Posts: 9125 - Karma: 511
im talkin to this kid on facebook and he sees that in my pictures ill call my ski stuff my 09-10 weapons and he goes "why are they called weapons?" and im like "because I slay with them" and he goes "slay what the bunny hill?" I am then like no, the terrain park, 270 on switch up 450 off on rails". he then says the expected "can u do a backflip"
inverted tricks are not aloud at our mt. and its lurking with popo so i dont do em.
i say "no theyre not aloud"
and he goes "bullshit we do em all the time

hes been up there like 3 times haha
Sep 12 2009 1:24AM
0 0
profile picture
DR.SHRED
Posts: 2134 - Karma: 503
hahaha mine is gaper- i can do a 520 backflip
Sep 12 2009 1:56AM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-5)