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You Know You're Drunk When

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ThaLorax
Posts: 21083 - Karma: 8,455
This worked well in the 420 forum for a "you know you're high when...".  Let's give it a go here.



You know you're drunk when.....






every other word that comes out of your mouth is "fuck you man"



your turn:


Sep 15 2008 1:21AM
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jason...
Posts: 9006 - Karma: 780
you know your drunk when that 10 u banged last night turned out to be a 4
Sep 15 2008 1:25AM
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angus_k_
Posts: 438 - Karma: 24
You have trouble figuiring out how doors work

Making a call takes 5 minutes because you take your phone out of your pocket, then drop it. Then pick it up and drop it. Then pick it up and try to flip it open and drop it. Then pick it up and forget youre holding it and drop it...

You go to the bathroom and it feels like youre on a ship swaying back and forth

You magically learn how to flick bottle caps at people

Couches become amazing
Sep 15 2008 1:27AM
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JTK
Posts: 1695 - Karma: 73
your naked and theyre not
Sep 15 2008 1:29AM
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Jwalk
Posts: 4647 - Karma: 134
i saw these on blue collar tv today so these are off there

you know your're drunk when...

- you ask your wife for her phone number
- Ron White tells you to stop drinking
- when your dog eats your puke and gets hammered
Sep 15 2008 1:30AM
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liftedresearcher
Posts: 1140 - Karma: 1,775
shitty beer starts to taste like water.
Sep 15 2008 1:30AM
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BravoWhiskey5280
Posts: 4020 - Karma: 520
every thing feels like a pop-up add on the internet....(thats for bring twisted..ha)
Sep 15 2008 1:40AM
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TomK1
Posts: 144 - Karma: 13
Damn, that actually kind of makes sense
Sep 15 2008 1:48AM
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aaron.ebner
Posts: 2868 - Karma: 61
when you throw your cup bottoms up and get more on yer shirt then down the hatch.
Sep 15 2008 1:51AM
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Pwn.Mode
Posts: 1061 - Karma: 10
you think you're in breck and you're actually in silverthorne and you hitch hike on I70 then get arrested.
Sep 15 2008 1:51AM
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CZA
Posts: 1715 - Karma: 202
you run through a hotel at 5 in the morning with ice buckets and eat shit into a wall and laugh for 10 minutes.
Sep 15 2008 2:07AM
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thecounty
Posts: 1450 - Karma: 290
when you wake up the next morning and dont realize how you got there.
Sep 15 2008 2:08AM
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TechnoPotamus
Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522
i wanna hear this story.....
Sep 15 2008 2:09AM
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Skibumsmith
Posts: 5432 - Karma: 11,820
when you wake up naked and your butt is sore
Sep 15 2008 2:12AM
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schlopy
Posts: 818 - Karma: 7,015
when you decide whale hunting is a good idea
Sep 15 2008 2:12AM
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Pwn.Mode
Posts: 1061 - Karma: 10
not gonna name drop but a certain pro skiier likes to drink booze, lots of it. haha. didnt remember leaving breck and went to silvy to my buddies house, and was trying to get to his friends who left him in "breck" haha hes trying to get out of the house and thinks that either the bathroom pantry or closet door is the way out. then my bud says if you're tryin to get outside you gotta go down them stairs. so then he walks down wildernest and walks out onto the highway and was trying to hitchhike and got picked up by the cops. all cuz he was trying to find his friends when they were all there with him. good times.
Sep 15 2008 2:15AM
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Campeador
Posts: 7516 - Karma: -1,227
when you get arrested in the middle of an interstate tunnel
Sep 15 2008 2:16AM
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RudyGarmisch
Posts: 25443 - Karma: 13,844
When you're over 21 and on NS.
Sep 15 2008 2:16AM
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Ben.
Posts: 21463 - Karma: 683
when getting into your lofted bed is rediculously hard.
Sep 15 2008 2:21AM
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[~_~]
Posts: 20239 - Karma: 1,273
You know you're drunk when the property value has gone down.
Sep 15 2008 3:42AM
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Skibumsmith
Posts: 5432 - Karma: 11,820
hahaha good one
Sep 15 2008 3:46AM
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Heath.
Posts: 838 - Karma: 149
You know you're drunk when you start making consecutive beruit shots for no apparent reason OR if you start consistently missing beruit shots, could go either way.
Sep 15 2008 4:05AM
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TheWorst
Posts: 7883 - Karma: 17
when your trying to fuck that really hot chick but cant get it up
Sep 15 2008 4:09AM
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fsscott
Posts: 4684 - Karma: 114
You know your drunk when you throw an empty Colt 45 up, then forget you were trying to break it and try to catch it...
Sep 15 2008 4:13AM
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TheWorst
Posts: 7883 - Karma: 17
you know your drunk when the everything around you is spinning but your just lying the fuck down
Sep 15 2008 4:18AM
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B.Aussie
Posts: 5852 - Karma: 4,531

when you wake up with a ridiculously broken arm and have no recolection of how you did it.

Sep 15 2008 6:51AM
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Silence
Posts: 16030 - Karma: 150
When you mysteriously spend $500 and don't know how
Sep 15 2008 6:57AM
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*Fujative*
Posts: 8554 - Karma: 183
... when you wake up the next morning and your still drunk.
Sep 15 2008 9:10AM
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urbanjib
Posts: 1801 - Karma: 255
when you wake up on a bus, and wondering what state your in...
Sep 15 2008 9:11AM
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SKIDUBAIGUY
Posts: 3018 - Karma: 8
Some swedish faggot calls the police on you for underage drinking in a muslim country, happened this weekend, we had a full scale evacuation when we found out they were on their way, i was only tipsy so managed to think straight and call 10 or so taxis and firemans carry all the drunk guys and gals into them and send them off, then i fucked off myself.
Sep 15 2008 9:14AM
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Treestman
Posts: 3049 - Karma: 300
when you dont know how you got home.
when you're in montreal
Sep 15 2008 9:19AM
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Crock360
Posts: 2100 - Karma: 23
-You wake up thinking you're damp from sweating during the night, but then realize you pissed yourself...

-You completely black out, then come back to reality at 3am in your hotel lobby in your boxers

-You crawl into a dryer and refuse to come out

-You start biting twist-off caps

-You tell people at the party you live there when you have no idea where you are in the first place

and my all time best: You know you're drunk when you find a loose sign post with a "SPEED BUMP" sign attached to it, yank it out of the ground, and go running down the main street of your campus at 4 in the morning with it. Campus police stops you with it, and you tell them its "for a school project"
Sep 15 2008 9:47AM
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DeSena
Posts: 4126 - Karma: 1,352
when you automatically wake up really early like around 6 and start walking around your house finding random kids in everyroom shoving advil down your throat
Sep 15 2008 9:54AM
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Mr.O
Posts: 1582 - Karma: 23
When you go garage hopping at a house with lights on.

When you decide to walk 3 miles to pick up this girl to see your buddy passed out. The kid who was passed out liked the chick that came over, then he was a huge dick to her cause he was drunk and now he hates him.

When you or anyone around you wakes up with stuff drawn on their face.
Sep 15 2008 10:02AM
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line1260skier
Posts: 1570 - Karma: 16
when you fall out of a moving truck twice in 1 night

wake up with blood dirt and puke on you

when you "break" into a building next to the police station by going in a unlocked door and stealing a stop sign post to beat the mailbox of your ex girlfriend, find out its a hella strong mailbox, so you go get a crowbar and try to beat it again, but it still doesn't work.

when you wake up under the table of one of your friends friends in their apartment



Sep 15 2008 10:34AM
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shrEddie
Posts: 5117 - Karma: 65
when i woke up with a new lighter and sock in my pocket. 
Sep 15 2008 11:35AM
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Boodje.
Posts: 1394 - Karma: 21
When you wake up naked with a trombone next to you.
Sep 15 2008 11:58AM
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MikeWalsh
Posts: 486 - Karma: 13
when you and your best m8 decide to walk to a party 10 miles away at 1 in the morning, to see your gf from a party youve already walked for 1 hour to get to, and whenever you or he has doubts about what your doing you shout "MORE BEER!!!" and take a swig. Then you get scared walking down a lane in the middle of rural england when a white van is coming down the road so you jump over a gate and hide behind a hedge where you decide to do a piss but because your drunk you get piss all over your hands. So you eventually get to a party at a house where your best m8 thinks is in the wrong fucking village but thanks to good directions you arrive covered in your own piss but happy cause your still slightly pissed and youve got to your gf. You make out with her for 10 mins then she leaves... fucking great. Then you fall asleep on the sofa and wake up with your zip open and your dick hanging out. That was one crazy night.
   Wow i just wrote a short novel.








Sep 15 2008 12:05PM
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flyinghighagain
Posts: 1069 - Karma: 22
when you wake up in ur neighbours garage because you were too drunk to use your own house keys to get into your house
Sep 15 2008 12:06PM
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wh@t
Posts: 6204 - Karma: 51
when you wake up at dawn lying face down on the grass with broken glass all over you, then turn around a realize you fell out of the deck window.



Sep 15 2008 12:10PM
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laxstar
Posts: 1051 - Karma: 11
You know your drunk when you decide to hang on your dorm room door and break the top hinge so every time you wanna close your door now you have life it by the handle so it will actually close....

you know your drunk when after leaving your teams lacrosse house on a thirsty thursday you decide to stop by mcDonalds and then you dance in the parking lot at 3 in the morning until you get free food (got a big mac meal) guess im a sweet dancer......
Sep 15 2008 12:20PM
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Sean...M
Posts: 2450 - Karma: 14
you know you WERE drunk when the only reason you remember the night is by looking at the timeline of stains on your shirt

you know your drunk when alcohoal tastes like water and ganja feels no different then air.
Sep 15 2008 12:48PM
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snowbladesforlife
Posts: 2033 - Karma: -3
The last bus has left and you can't get a cab. So you walk from Breck to Frisco during a snowstorm and get there 45 minutes before your bus leaves to go back to work in Breck.
Sep 15 2008 1:02PM
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k-rob
Posts: 14217 - Karma: 2,891
you know you were drunk when you find yourself waking up in a field a two hour walk away fromt he last place you remember being. and then you get home and your friend calls you and tells you to watch the 6:00 news because you'll be on it, running from a police helicopter into a forest. and then you are.



Sep 15 2008 1:05PM
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fujarome
Posts: 8630 - Karma: 1,561
when steep spiral staircases are the hardest/scariest thing you'll ever have to walk down.
Sep 15 2008 1:28PM
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Alex_G
Posts: 11902 - Karma: 1,019
you drunk dial the fuck out of every girl youve ever had a thing with and end up with girl problems the next day.
Sep 15 2008 1:51PM
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Mr.O
Posts: 1582 - Karma: 23
you wake up and you see your best friend passed out across the room surronded in beer bottles
Sep 15 2008 1:56PM
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TheWorst
Posts: 7883 - Karma: 17
-When you wake up in the shower
-When you go to sleep on the main floor and wakeup in the basement
-When you have to lean up against things cause you can't stand up on your own
-When you get kicked out of the bar for drinking more
-When your walking to your friends house because your supposed to sleep there, passing out on a lawn on the way and waking up to realize your passed out in front of a church.
Sep 15 2008 2:01PM
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salomon097
Posts: 1345 - Karma: 301
when you pull handfulls of grass out of the ground and then continue to shove them in your mouth

Sep 15 2008 2:12PM
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