Karma is not real, and I have a story to prove it.

Hey NS, my names Hansel and I have got a story to tell you...
So me and my cousin are starting to fish commercially down the cape. This means that we sell 40 lb bass at 4 dollars a lb, meaning we make bank. So our names are starting to get out there that we catch fresh fish and a lot of them. When we are walking to our cars from a party so that I can go pick up my sister from wherever shes at, somewhere far away. But shit i go why not pick her up it'll gimme some good karma. So w walk to our cars and a guy rolls up next to us and goes "lemme get 10 pogies (small fish which we catch by net by the hundreds) live and ill pay you guys 100 bucks." Sounds good to us, 100 bucks for 10 minutes of work. So i continue to go and pick up my sister and on the way home I stop at McDonalds because I heard my high group of friends say they wanted some munchies. So I buy 20 dollars worth of food off the dollar menu and head back to the party. I drop my sister off at home and go and give all that food to my friends. I feel good about myself. I then continue to refuse a hookup with a hot chick because she was drunk at the party, shit my karma must be up there with Mr. Bishop right now. I dont drink, dont smoke, just picked my sister up, 45 minutes out of my way, made a group of 10 friends exstaticly happy, and turned down a hookup in which would have had some serious problems afterwards because she had a seious boyfriend. So at 12 o' clock my cousin and I decide to get the fishing part of the night over with and come back out considering this should take 20-30 minutes tops. So we paddle out to the boat outside of his house and hop in get everything ready to go and head off. Now this is where the night turns from good to absolutely terrible, taunting, and ruthless. We head to a little harbor in which we've netted several times before and it has always helped us out. We take one drift, 5 minutes and pull in the net, we catch exactly 10 pogies, poor drift but we figure well give the guy 30 fish he deserves it for paying us 100 bucks. So we drop the net out to take another drift and my cousin turns on the engine to flip around. The net gets extremely tangled into the engine. Now for those of you who dont know, engines run for about 30,000 dollars each his boat has two new dual 300 yamahas. So were fucked and I reach over and go hey alright ill pay to get the net restrung lets just cut it. Getting nets restrung costs about 100 bucks for a 100 by 10 foot net, whatever I lose 50 bucks out of this journey but shit I'm making 1000 bucks a day fishing. I start to cut the net out of the engine, and lose my balace fall in. Fully clothed. I have only one set of clothes down the cape at this point because it was supposed to be a one night stay and I was too lazy to pack so my only set of clothing is soaked. The only reason that I dont think that god completely hates me is because my phone wasnt on me when I fell in. He must have some sympathy. So iIfall in get back out and fall in again, slicing a deep 6 inch gash in my arm. At this point I just want to get home, so I have my cousin start to go with the other engine while I hold the other part of the net on the boat so were cruising along and we start to slow down gradually, I dont know whats up so i go up front and all of a sudden we stop short. At this point its 1 and I just wanna get back to that party because I've been working on the girl whose party it is all summer and it was looking pretty good at this point. So I look down and see oh shit were on a fucking sand bar in the middle of a harbor sick job digging the harbor out. So me, being already wet hop and and try and push the boat out. Little did I know that this exact spot was a blue crab mating zone. I get bombarded in 2 feet of water by crabs. I hop quickly back into the boat, toes feet and ankles bleeding from the numerous crabs who I impeded on. So at this point im dying laughing because shock must've kicked in from blood loss or something. But at this point I start thinking, holy shit my life sucks, not as bad as many people but I mean I see myself as a good kid, I go to Rwanda each year to help the poor for two to three weeks of my summer, and there was nothing I have done severely wrong, I dont even lie to my mother, wow I'm gay. So as were stuck on this fucking sand bar, I get a call from the girl who I've been trying to get with all summer, and she says come over I'm alone now we can chill. Now for you youngins on this site, that is game talk for lets fuck...now. Its 2 am and I just wanna get the hell home. We end up having to wait for the tide to change, total waiting time, 4 hours. Its now 5 am and the dude who were getting pogies for is leaving now, so we must get out. I take one for the team and hop out and push while my cousin turns on the motor and gets as much push out of that as he can with it halfway out of the water. With crabs biting at my feet we get it to inch foward, then we put it in reverse and inch it back. We continue to do this 30 times until it breaks free and were able to move. We head out and meet up with the guy and give him his 10 pogies and feel like an asshole. We get our 100 dollars and peace that shit. We haul out back to the house a legit 40 second drive. And our oar falls out leaving us stranded out on my cousins mouring with no way to get in. We finally get together all these brushes and shit and paddle in. After 30 minutes we finally hit shore. Not to mention today I had to go out there with the brushes as my paddle and cut the net from the engine. The night turned from a get 100 dollars easy and have fun at a party to a fucking hike. So in conclusion, karma is not real, got hates my life, not as much as some people, but im on his bad list.
Cliffnotes: I deserve good karma but I had one big bullshit of a night last night