yo so this girl was an epic bitch (occcasionally) in my French 2 class and i just saw this thing she posted on fabo. shes good at that writing shit so i figured i'd share it with you. enjoy the ride, see if you can learn anything.
Tonight, I had a discussion with my parents regarding my future plans.
As some of you know, I was supposed to be moving to Keene, New
Hampshire in less than six days to begin my life as a college student.
Unfortunately, I was awarded basically nothing for financial aid from
the school- $6,000 for a federal Stafford loan, and not a single grant;
No 'free' money whatsoever. Translation? I'm fucked- for right now,
anyway.
Naturally, applying for additional private loans seemed like a decent
option. One problem, my parents' credit is completely shot and I was
left without a co-signer. No problem, I thought, I have fantastic
credit! Most teens don't even own a credit card, and I have two that I
pay off in full every month, so perhaps I'll be able to obtain a loan
by myself. Think again, Jenn, "For loan companies to grant you a loan
without a cosigner, even with perfect credit, you must make bare
minimum of $20,000 a year," a representative from a loan firm told me.
Great, because it's entirely realistic for an 18 year old straight out
of high school to make close to a school teacher's salary. Sense my
sarcasm? Just making sure...
I found all of this out about two weeks ago, giving me minimal time to
find a quick solution. I applied to University of Southern Maine,
listed the impressive co-curriculars and submitted the same kick-ass
essay that I'd sent to Keene, only to be rejected. Who the hell gets
rejected from USM? Sorry, not to sound snooty, but I was incorrectly
under the impression that everyone gets into the U-Maine schools.
Apparently my recently cursed good-luck shoes hopped me onto the loser
train, because I, a decently intelligent person, was turned down.
Puzzled, I explored several options- getting a certificate, like a
med-tech, going to a community college, or waiting out a year, saving
up money, and going where I really wanted to go. If you were to take a
step into my bedroom, you'd notice that I have literally everything I
needed to attend Keene State College- except for the ten grand
remaining to get me there. I had clearly planned on attending this
school- I owned KSC apparel- shirt and expensive sweatshirt, writing
utensils, lanyards, key chains, window clings, etc, even chocolates for
Christ's sake.
There was nothing sweet, however, about the day I found out that I was
unable to attend either Keene or USM. It stung to know that one was
unaffordable, and one school just didn't want me. So what's next? My
parents tried to persuade me to take the community college route, and
an incident that happened today at breakfast made me realize what
decision I had to make.
This morning, my friends and relatives went to a little diner in
Litchfield, where we would wait 40 minutes to be seated. When the time
would finally come, we were made aware that out party of eight would
need to divide ourselves among two tables- across the room from each
other, unless we wanted to wait a little longer for the restaurant
employees to clean a dirty table so that we may at least sit next to
one another. We waited reluctantly, but finally our wish was granted.
I ordered scrambled eggs with cheese, and was given the option of Swiss
or American. I chose Swiss, clearly the better option, even if it meant
paying a little more than American. When I received the eggs, I was
informed that they were out of Swiss, and had instead decided to
replace it with American, still charging me for it. One thing to know
about me- I hate American cheese; I would rather have plain eggs than
top them with something that in my opinion, felt inferior to my beloved
Swiss. Needless to say, the eggs were not consumed.
When it came time to pay, I had a decision to make; should I brush it
under the rug, and accept the charge for the unsatisfying cooked
embryo, or should I stick up for myself and refuse the charge for
something I didn't order? The choice was clear; why pay for something
you don't want?
As silly as the analogy is, I related it to my real life experience,
something a little bigger than breakfast, and thought about it. Should
I pay money to go to a community college, or should I wait, save up
money, and go where I really want? I have decided to take some time
off, either a semester or an entire year to earn cash, and continue to
maintain great credit in order to be able to go where I wanted to go,
where I was supposed to go, Keene State.
I have always had this attitude in life. Perhaps you may think it's
foolish; perhaps you feel like I could get the same exact education at
CMCC as I could a Keene State- and maybe you're right, but I still
stand firm on my desire to go to KSC. I refuse to purchase used books
for my reading pleasure. So what if they 'work'. It doesn't mean that
they are the best quality. When buying purses, I almost never opt for
the knock-offs. I did once, though. I bought an impostor Kate Spade
from my former boss's purse party, used it for two days, hated it, and
sold it to my little sister. To this day, the only things I will
purchase in used condition is DVDs, and trust me, I don't do it very
often. It's not that I'm saying that a community college education is
equivalent to a used book or an impostor purse- plenty of people love
those things, but they just aren't for me.
My parents used to tell me to never settle for less, and I believe
them. Call my extravagant attitude juvenile, but I'd rather wait for
what I want, then to make do with what I don't. I can't personally be
happy knowing that I let something that I really wanted go, and I've
wanted a Keene education ever since I was a sophomore in high school.
Basically what I'm saying is, feel free to text me, to call me, to
invite me to the beach, I'm sticking around for a little while longer.
It's not me being a lazy teenager, it's me being sure of exactly what I
want in my future, and even if you disagree, it's the best epiphany
I've had in a long time.
^word.
