Replying to It is possible to tear yourself a new ass

So I have been having some pain at the top of my butt crack ever since the accident, and I thought it was just from laying on my back.  It has been getting more and more painful so I roled over an had my wife see what it was.  She started laughing because I have a vertical 2 inch split in my skin.  It happened from the impact when I hit the ground.  I have proved it.  A person can actually tear themself a new ass. ha ha ha.  Just one more thing to add to the list.