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Weird memories from when you were little

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beer.
Posts: 3096 - Karma: 44
I remember things really well from when I was really little.  here's a few:

I remember hiding behind my couch and taking a shit when I wore a diaper.  I remember feeling embarassed and disgusted.  its one of my earliest memories.

I remember staring at a tabloid with pam anderson on it in first grade, and getting a boner looking at her tits, and thinking I must be some sort of pervert.  I didn't think it was normal to be attracted to boobs.

I remember my friend's ex girlfriend playing with my dick in when I was in kindergarten.  I finally told him about it after they broke up.

I remember my mom taking me into the women's locker room when we went to the pool.  it was SWEET!

I remember when I was five pointing at a really fat guy in line at the grocery store and saying "hey dad, look at that fat man!"  I must have said it twenty times.  the look he gave me was one of the most evil glares I've ever seen.


anyone else have some good ones?
Jul 25 2008 7:04PM
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slaydave
Posts: 1697 - Karma: 62
hahahahaha i cracked up at the first one...
Jul 25 2008 7:05PM
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timmi
Posts: 12874 - Karma: 3,460
i remember puking all over my badass dinosaur pants. i was sad cause they were covered in puke.
Jul 25 2008 7:05PM
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Manlenium
Posts: 571 - Karma: 11

Click for larger image

Jul 25 2008 7:08PM
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soup
Posts: 6343 - Karma: 4,415
dude not gonna lie, those were just all really fucking wierd.  cant believe you just told ns that........

anyways heres some of mine.

i remember my baby sitters house from way long ago and this thomas the tank engine book from the house.

going straight down the bunny hill and smashing into a fence.  next year they took out the fence.

hitting an old school kicker these guys built and thinking it was the coolest thing.  I flipped back and ate so much shit.  so embarrased.

climbing on my fence and breaking my arm and looking down at it and remember it was like and upside down V.
Jul 25 2008 7:09PM
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SlickRick.
Posts: 4329 - Karma: 300
i remeber chewing a piece of cotton candy bubble yum when i was about 5 and thinking it was the most delicious thing i had ever tasted. the problem was that for some reason i wasnt allowed to chew it. so when my mom wasnt home, or was upstairs i would chew it, and when she came back i would stick it on the woodwork behing the cabinet for the TV.  it was such a fuckin rush man. i did this for about 3 days untill i realized it really didnt taste good anymore, and then flushed it down the toilet.
Jul 25 2008 7:12PM
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JonH.A.M.
Posts: 256 - Karma: 12
I remember when I was little I used to piss the bed on purpose because I was to lazy to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom.

I remember when I was little I would seek downstairs and steel candy from my parents store.

I remember when I was little I feel off a swing and I face planted into the gravel and knocked my front teeth up into my gums.
Jul 25 2008 7:13PM
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skijunkiedtm
Posts: 9229 - Karma: 61
sliding down stairs on a giant dolphin beany baby.
being freaked out to go in my grandmas adic because my family thought it was the funniest thing to tell me the boogy monster lived up there.
Jul 25 2008 7:16PM
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wintersway
Posts: 5115 - Karma: 128
i remember waking up one morning screaming in pain because all of my eyelashes had managed to flip under my eyelids.

both eyes.
Jul 25 2008 7:26PM
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ChadThundercock
Posts: 3071 - Karma: 830
i dont remember my childhood, i wish i could recall more than just fragments
Jul 25 2008 7:27PM
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Balto
Posts: 25985 - Karma: 4,404
I don't remember much from my early years due to that. fractured skull in 5 places now with 6 steal pin holding my skull together
Click for larger image
Jul 25 2008 7:29PM
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steezyjibber
Posts: 15967 - Karma: 11,026
howd that happen?
Jul 25 2008 7:30PM
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Balto
Posts: 25985 - Karma: 4,404
lol i fell of my deck. atleast thats wheat my dad says
Jul 25 2008 7:31PM
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steezyjibber
Posts: 15967 - Karma: 11,026
oooooooo shit how high
Jul 25 2008 7:32PM
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soup
Posts: 6343 - Karma: 4,415
hahahahahahahahahahaha

oh man i hope you meant that to be funny.
Jul 25 2008 7:34PM
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Balto
Posts: 25985 - Karma: 4,404
like 15 feet. landed on the side walk
Jul 25 2008 7:34PM
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Balto
Posts: 25985 - Karma: 4,404
lol not really. i don't think i will ever know what really happened sense my doctor that did the surgery died
Jul 25 2008 7:35PM
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Hubsta
Posts: 1279 - Karma: 156
Check your medical records?
Jul 25 2008 8:04PM
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Balto
Posts: 25985 - Karma: 4,404
good point
Jul 25 2008 8:11PM
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Shpadoinkle
Posts: 10437 - Karma: 84
Scene: Beaver Creek Terrain Park
Date: Ten years ago? (I'm 20 now.)

Alright, so I take my whole family through the park, and at the end of the park there was a really ice black (from what I remember). It was really, really icey though, so being the little kid I was I took off my skis and slid down the slope on my butt. Everything is going as planned, but then all of the sudden I hit this ice chunk/mogul that turns me around. So now I am sliding down face-first on my stomach. I'm crying, I'm screaming, there's snow and ice blowing up in my face...you get the picture. So I'm almost to the end, and I see the orange mesh fence coming up fast......I hit that bitch like Bode in the Super-G. I was all tangled up in the fence, I had cuts all over my face, etc. It was so gnarly even though I didn't think that at the time.
Jul 25 2008 8:23PM
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Faggghkxd
Posts: 1163 - Karma: 13
i remember my sister being born- i was 2 years old

i remember cracking my skull open when i was five

i remember alot of nightmares i had when  was really young which is weird

i have alot more but no time to share
Jul 25 2008 8:29PM
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Spillway_East
Posts: 1127 - Karma: 379
i hit my babysitter in the eye and gave her a black eye
Jul 25 2008 8:30PM
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DaewonS
Posts: 717 - Karma: 104
i remember shoving a tic tac so far up my nose that i had to go ot the hospital to get it out. i stole it from the kitchen when i was like 3. it was funny
Jul 25 2008 9:03PM
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huge-go
Posts: 1451 - Karma: 33
I was maybe like 5 and getting ready to take a bath, and I needed to fart, so I let her rip and I ended up shitting on the floor.
Another time I was maybe 6, and I just learned how to do donkey kicks on a bike, so I went to show my dad. I flip over and gash my forehead, I cried for like 2 hours.
Jul 25 2008 9:10PM
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beer.
Posts: 3096 - Karma: 44
you're boring
Jul 25 2008 9:31PM
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timmi
Posts: 12874 - Karma: 3,460
i was about 5 or so, flyin down a hill on a toboggan. my dad would send me down so that i wouldnt hit the jump at the bottom. one time i thought it was cool to stick my hand in the snow, which happened to turn me right at the jump. it was a pretty big jump and when i hit it, i forgot to hold on to the toboggan. that flew away fast. and i just shot 5 feet to flat icy ground. bummer.
Jul 25 2008 9:35PM
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beer.
Posts: 3096 - Karma: 44
oh yeah and here's a great one

my first time skiing.  I was 3 and my parents took me to wisp if any of you mid-east coasters know where that is.  it was 10 degrees plus windchill and I fell and I was so bundled up I couldn't even move.  I just lay there yelling "go home!"  i've manned up since.

also when I was 3 me and my two best friends were walking along this stream past an eroded bank.  I somehow knew that there were groundbees in the bank.  both of them walked past fine, and when I did, the whole nest came out and stung me.  I ran and tripped in the stream, falling into icecold water with bees in my shirt and shoes.  because of that, and a few more bee incidences, I am still pretty scared of bees to this day.

I also remember sailing our boat when a squall hit.  the boat was keeling over so far that the safety railing we installed was dipping into the water.  my parents's friends were literally praying to God to survive.  I knew my dad was a badass sailor so I was fine.
Jul 25 2008 9:41PM
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Dr.Scholl
Posts: 1139 - Karma: 47
i loled pretty good at the first one
Jul 25 2008 9:49PM
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_steezefiend8
Posts: 659 - Karma: 271
once when i was 6 i was sleding down a huge hill and i get to the bottom and get up to turn around adn smack this huge fat lady decks me and i just stared at her. she didnt even say sorry.  i didnt think it was funny then but i do now.
Jul 25 2008 9:55PM
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comeatmebro
Posts: 10720 - Karma: 66
i had a competition with my cousin on who could touch the electric fence longer, i won. i ran around my yard screaming i how i was gonna die. it was crazy.

i remember walking into the bathroom and my babysitter was naked and had quite the bush.

also when i was little i got naked in kindergarten and started running around (this was the first day) the second day of kindergarten i cut a girls hair with scissors and denied it the whole way when my teacher watched me do it.


i've got more i just can't think of at the moment...
Jul 25 2008 9:56PM
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mackinnon
Posts: 5153 - Karma: 161
when my mom would leave the kitchen for a phone call, i'd take a stick of butter and dip it in the sugar container and eat it. good thing she always caught me before i'd had too much. hahaha
Jul 25 2008 10:10PM
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BigJew
Posts: 6974 - Karma: 79
My parents had a bunch of older people over and I was bored so I grabbed a jar of pickles off of the table and ate the entire thing, then I puked all over the deck and it was bright green.
Jul 25 2008 10:11PM
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Alexander_Keith
Posts: 3204 - Karma: 25

I rememeber one summer day when I was maybe two, Me and my best friend were frollicking around the yard when we all decided to go take a piss on the side of my house. Halfway through I decided it'd be a wicked funny idea to turn and start pissing on my friend. Needless to say he retaliated in kind and so at the end of it all we were left wet and piss covered at which time we decided it'd be a good idea to hit the sandbox. You can imagine how that turned out.

Jul 25 2008 10:32PM
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purplejumpsuit
Posts: 2208 - Karma: 157
I do as well!!

and I remember one time being put to bed by my babysitter, who I had a massive crush on, and he kissed me on the forehead and it was like the happiest day of my life.

One time when I was about 4 or 5 I climbed a massive tree downtown, I climbed to about 40 ft and my mom was running around thinking I was lost, she wasn't to happy when she found out I was just in the tree haha. I was a monkey and climbed them alot.

Back in the day a bunch of kids from my town would all get together and play truth or dare, thinking about how nerves we where is very funny now. 

Alot more stuff that I cant think of at the moment










Jul 25 2008 10:40PM
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goonsquad
Posts: 550 - Karma: 224
me too...

i remember getting a sorry piece stuck in my head when i was in preschool, good times
Jul 25 2008 11:31PM
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comeatmebro
Posts: 10720 - Karma: 66
also i had this dream where i ran to the back of my house and got stung by a bunch of bees till i died. i had this dream probably ten times when i was little, and i've still never been stung by a bee.

i went to hoss' (a restaurant) and drank too much chocolate milk and threw up all over the waitress and the floor. it was insane.

then i also remember when i was like 4 and saw a fat lady and told my dad and the lady turned around and smacked me fucking hard and i cried the entire day. i ended up getting an eye infection cause she scratched my eye or something like that. i can't believe i forgot that one. i can't remember what my dad said to the lady though, but i'm pretty sure he almost killed her.
Jul 25 2008 11:40PM
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Arabian.
Posts: 9632 - Karma: 55
My first memory is of my 3rd christmas and getting a waffle maker as a present, and thinking in these exact words:

"Who the fuck gives a 3 year old a waffle maker?"
Jul 25 2008 11:47PM
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n.porter
Posts: 85 - Karma: 11
I remember sneaking downstairs during naptime and when my parents became to fed up with it they blocked my front stairs with a mattress. It was the saddest day
Jul 25 2008 11:49PM
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Malcolm
Posts: 15951 - Karma: 9,451
i was deaf until 4 year old but i remember having  dream abotu a ride onh disney land and i only remembered it later when i went back like 10 years later
Jul 25 2008 11:55PM
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THEDICKBUTCHER
Posts: 3067 - Karma: 673
haha oh man I was a bit crazy...wait i still am.

i remember peeing in my moms kitchen on purpose cuz she pissed me off

I remeber stealing her money to buy lots of candy and ice cream.

my 1st nightmare... yess i remember it's weird, I lived in a green world and i had this huuge truck and destroyed all my family and was laughing hysterically while I did it.

ringing  my neighbor's door, putting old gum on it so it would get stuck hahaha it was an old man too... i felt terrible but it was funny.

when I lived in condos from the 3rd floor I'd pour water on ppl walking by and laugh with my friends lawlz

kicked some boy in the balls cuz he was annoying the shit out of me.

puking all over my day care's bathroom on purpose cuz their food tasted like shit and they would make me eat it.

I know I was kinda horrible





Jul 26 2008 12:07AM
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Mooose...
Posts: 1807 - Karma: 77
got 2 good potty training stories my mom told me once:

once i was with her shopping, and she thought someone took me, so she had the store shut down and the doors locked, and i was hiding under a clothes rack and i had shit my pants.

another time i was being potty trained and i had to piss really bad i guess, so i ran to the bathroom and started pissing... but i never lifted the lid, so you can guess what happened.
Jul 26 2008 12:16AM
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Mezmerize19
Posts: 6475 - Karma: 18
Well I tend to sleepwalk apparently. From what I remember ive only done it twice. its weird shit for whoever hasnt

One time i woke up when I was like 5. Got out of bed, stood in front of the door, and pee'd. my mom was going JAMIE! STOP PEEING! JAAAMMMIIIIEEEE!!! I heard her but continued for god knows what reason. after that i went directly back to bed.

Another time when I was like ermmm 12 I remember I woke up and procceded to fold all my covers perfectly then carried them out to the toybox outside my room. then i walked over to my moms office (its was like 1:30 am and she was working late on something) and just stood in the doorway. She looked at me and went "what are you doing?" I remember mummbeling sleeply "I dunno" then she told me to go back to bed and i remember thinking oh man, i gotta unfold my covers now, damn.... when i woke up that morning i couldnt tell if it was a dream or not so i went over to my mom and was like "did I wake up last night and......" "yeah, you did, it was kinda weird" "oh, alright..."

Another time when i was little i got ahold of the balmex tube and got balmex everywhere in my room. im talking the TV walls, all over me. everywhere. Then i realized my mom would get mad so i tried to clean it up with my cool tools. didnt work. I remember sesame street was on and i saw big bird. he was cool

I got another but ill save it for another post. i know how much NS likes to read lenghty things
Jul 26 2008 12:32AM
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EH_DUBS
Posts: 3080 - Karma: 969
i remember i didnt want to finish eating some meat or something...
and it was cut into small peices and i wasnt allowed to leave until it was done

so i unscrewed the top of the salt lid and stuck them all in there.
i dont really remember what happened about it though.
i think my grandma found it
Jul 26 2008 12:35AM
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juliana.
Posts: 751 - Karma: 12
i remeber slipping on a rock and falling in a pond and my sister saving me and i remeber i would always wear this yellow power rangers oufit and pretend i was a power ranger damn i wish i still had that oufit!
Jul 26 2008 12:39AM
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low_fidelity
Posts: 2673 - Karma: 118
oh my jeebus!! i dont know why but i was laughint for 32 minutes
Jul 26 2008 12:44AM
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low_fidelity
Posts: 2673 - Karma: 118
when i was like 4 i was an asshole to this kid who would babysit us. his name was mac and me and my bros would call him Mac N' Cheese and dance around him in circles chanting "MAC N CHEESE MAC N CHEESE!!!!!"

and also we would hit him in the face with these really hard pillows that would give your face rugburn.
Jul 26 2008 12:48AM
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martin.
Posts: 2115 - Karma: 34
I have a couple

I remember when I lived in Boston with my dad, we went on a walk, and when we came back to our apartment, my mom had gone in and took all the stuff that "was hers", AKA everything.

yea my mom robbed my house

Then a couple years later, when I lived with my mom in NY, we were outside on the lake, and I fell through a patch of ice and my mom saved me with her cross country ski pole.

My first crush in 6th grade, I was just floored by this chick and I had NO idea what was going on.

and I had this crazy dream once, my dad said it was a blessing cause he's pretty religious, but anyway:

I was on the playground with my friends, when all of a sudden lightning started hitting all of my friends and everyone else at the playground. When someone got hit with lightning they would become frozen, ice and all. After everyone else got hit by lightning, a voice came from the clouds and said "You will not be struck", then I woke up.

but whatever, I'm not really religious or anything but that was a crazy ass dream.
Jul 26 2008 12:49AM
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juliana.
Posts: 751 - Karma: 12
hahah for some reason that just made me remeber my aunt one time was putting cheese on her pasta but the top to the cheese was unscrewed a little and the top fell off and all the cheese went onto her food. 


another memorie was i always used to call 911 for no reason at all and they would always call back and my parents would always make me apologize


and i got my arm stuck in a chair at my grandparents house and got really embarrassed
Jul 26 2008 12:58AM
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FUUUCK
Posts: 18426 - Karma: 4,888
"I remember my friend's ex girlfriend playing with my dick in when I was in kindergarten. I finally told him about it after they broke up."


wtf?
Jul 26 2008 1:00AM
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JaphyRyder
Posts: 1766 - Karma: 113
I remember my first time in a gocart a SPED group was driving at the same time and a retarded girl cornered me and kept ramming me into the guardrail from behind, i think i cried.

I remember a dream I had when I was maybe 6 about a wolf chasing me around a playground.

I remember I would just chill in a tree for hours with underwear and rainboots and pretend i was harriet the spy and had a bucket with a rope that I would just lift up and down from the tree.

Jul 26 2008 1:01AM
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juliana.
Posts: 751 - Karma: 12
hahaha deff one of the funniest ones on here! i love this thread i cannot stop laughing
Jul 26 2008 1:10AM
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