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je_t.aime_canard
January, 2025

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Stupidist thing any bodys ever said to you, ever.

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josh.
Posts: 3469 - Karma: 42
and go.
Jul 25 2008 12:50AM
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*brian
Posts: 189 - Karma: 29
"I'm fucking batman"
May 29 2010 11:12PM
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Rainbow*Stylin
Posts: 1042 - Karma: 24
getting on the elevator...

"what floor do we want, L" kid
"B, we're going to the basement" me
"Oh yea, so what's the L for" kid
"It stands for Lobby" me
"Yea but why would you need a button for that" kid
"For when you're on other floors and want to go to the lobby" me

or

"I am thinking about driving to Alaska this summer" me
"You can't drive to Alaska, it's an island" girl
"What the hell are you talking about, its not an island" me
"Yes it is, haven't you ever seen it on a map" girl

ahaha, this thread is making me lose more faith in our race

May 29 2010 11:12PM
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DJL
Posts: 13 - Karma: 11
Yesterday I was on a greyhound bus coming back from toronto sleeping with my shitty laptop on my lap. Some guy smelling of mouthwash and cigarettes wakes me up to ask if he can use my laptop to check his email.

 I looked at for a second then told him " No were on a moving bus". He didn't understand that I can barely get an internet connection when I'm in my house let alone moving at 100 km/hr on the highway.
May 29 2010 11:13PM
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MANDER
Posts: 4017 - Karma: 2,038
Ive got a few more:

Once this girl was convinced that eggs (the ones you eat) were chicken fetus's.

I knew a girl that though there has been a World war 3.
May 29 2010 11:34PM
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jorb.co
Posts: 2581 - Karma: 468

so theres this black chick in my math/gym class. shes gotta make herself known because shes one of the few black kids at my school, and is always bitching at you if you say something that could be interpreted maybe the slightest bit racist. shes also just plain stupid to start off with. and CAN NOT stop talking, especially during class, and everyone is fricking annoyed to shit with her.

during math:

me - "shut up taylor nobody is even listening to you"

her - "yeah well if i had a dick it would be bigger than yours"

this one was her and another black kid in gym class:

other kid to his friend - "sup nigga"

taylor - "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY"

taylor tells the principal the kid's friend called her the N word, she bought it, they both get suspended for a day.

and again in math:

teacher - "stop talking"

taylor - "i am getting my books out!"

"STOP TALKING"

"I AM GETTING MY BOOKS OUT"

(teacher likes getting her mad) this goes on literally 5 or 6 more times, im laughing harder than i probably ever have in my life, before she says "SCREW Y'ALL" and stroms off, only to come back 30 minutes later eating a piece of pizza. wtf.

May 29 2010 11:50PM
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Chompo.
Posts: 4952 - Karma: 88
So it was poring rain practically all day and me and my mom get in the car to go somewhere Her: did you notice the rain? Me: look up out the windsheild and back at her Her: awkwardly faces forward and starts the car
May 29 2010 11:52PM
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little_boo
Posts: 1303 - Karma: 231
"Did your real mom or your stepmom have you?"
May 30 2010 12:41AM
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Arabian.
Posts: 9671 - Karma: 482
NO. Not with good vapes you don't. What IS liquid is the THC oil present in the weed. This is the shit that gets you high, understand? The plant itself does not. Vaporizers heat the weed to a point in between when THC becomes vapor, and the plant does not combust (ie, create smoke/burn).


May 30 2010 1:54AM
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.Ben
Posts: 454 - Karma: 14
well, drinking pee is definitely safer than drinking water from a random stream but assuming we are comparing pee to bottled water, its pretty safe to say pee is not cleaner than water.
May 30 2010 3:18AM
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Plind
Posts: 416 - Karma: 33
A girl at school said that she always thought it is "Hi Hitler" instead of "Heil Hitler".....
May 30 2010 10:12AM
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zakaroo
Posts: 751 - Karma: 37
my friend was super stoned at the time
friend: "wouldn't it be awesome if like in 20 years, they made everything in 3-d?"
me: "everything is already in 3-D."
friend: "wait.....oh yeah."
May 30 2010 10:13AM
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JibbaTheHutt
Posts: 2132 - Karma: 1,597

" is roast made out of beef or steak?"

May 30 2010 10:26AM
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Ski_ThEast
Posts: 1676 - Karma: 272

i was watching the lacrosse yesterday and my mom walks in and asks

my mom: what color is virginia?

me: white

my mom: oh so what color is duke? 

she was totally serious

May 30 2010 10:45AM
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musick13
Posts: 913 - Karma: 44
I actually read a thread in which someone posted something along the lines of...

"Isn't the sun like trillions of miles away? So these images could have, in a sense, happened several years ago."

completely serious too.
May 30 2010 11:22AM
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chacho
Posts: 183 - Karma: 33
you suck at life
May 30 2010 11:48AM
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deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,509
hey your not my cousin
May 30 2010 2:30PM
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Bean_Slc
Posts: 514 - Karma: 25
while watching a random science video in class, a clip of elephants eating came on, and i hear a girl say
"awwww I love anteaters!"

Same girl told me to try her fiji water because it was "like wetter than other waters"
May 30 2010 2:58PM
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mellifluous
Posts: 1682 - Karma: 68
my sister came up to me out of nowhere and said this: "how do you break your skull?"
me: "uhh what?"
her: "to break your skull you need to hit it 68 times"
me: "what are you talking about?"
her:"you would die if you hit your head against the tv"
me: "why?"
her: "because its electric"


May 30 2010 4:18PM
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skeedle
Posts: 6156 - Karma: 628
a few weeks ago I was at a party themed "anything but a cup" so my friend and i were drinking out of coconuts, and as we were funneling rum into them this girl comes up to us and goes: "OHHHHHHHHHH you're drinking out of pineapples! clever"
and walked away.
May 30 2010 4:31PM
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Leeyum
Posts: 1285 - Karma: 168
i worked at the beach a few summers ago-
Lady: What a lovely beach where do you guys get the sand from?

Me: Um, what do you mean?
May 30 2010 4:37PM
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MANDER
Posts: 4017 - Karma: 2,038
wow katherine, way to rip on poor and innocent jackie. shes like four years old anyways.
May 30 2010 5:03PM
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mellifluous
Posts: 1682 - Karma: 68
you're really creepy. also she's actually like eight or something now.
May 30 2010 10:28PM
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pat_in_the_hat
Posts: 3019 - Karma: 2,695
she hot?
May 30 2010 10:41PM
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Kirsakid
Posts: 1793 - Karma: 126
this girl in my geo class thought Australia was in Europe cause all the well off nations are either in north america or Europe
May 30 2010 10:47PM
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i.am.a.skier.
Posts: 1158 - Karma: 14
I used to live on a small island near greece. People in like 5th grade would ask me if they has cars/electricity over there
May 30 2010 10:49PM
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the.hoffman
Posts: 1372 - Karma: 283
It wasn't directed right to me, but to the group.

Anyways, while talking about these cookies it was said that

"they are peanut free, so they don't have any allergies in them"
May 30 2010 11:24PM
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.jersey
Posts: 1925 - Karma: 9
"dude i think you forgot your car keys"

as i was in the car driving down the road
May 30 2010 11:33PM
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jason...
Posts: 9006 - Karma: 780
A teacher of mine was talking about artist statements, he showed us a Michaelangelo (sp?) painting from the ceiling of the "Sixteenth" Chapel.
May 31 2010 12:27AM
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apcaipse
Posts: 2168 - Karma: 25
[img]http://i.cr3ation.co.uk/dl/s1/jpg/facepalm.jpg[/iimg]
May 31 2010 12:43AM
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LukeB
Posts: 462 - Karma: 10
so the Principal was my class talking about the football game that was coming up.

principal: we won by 20 last time

girl(this girl is a cheerleader at football games mind you): wait that's all?... I though it was like 200...
May 31 2010 1:00AM
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ike.
Posts: 2292 - Karma: 93
while talking about a book in relation to african americans:

blonde hoe: “Is africa in america???”


while asking questions for upcoming social studies final:

not-so-blonde-but-equally-as-dumb hoe: “will we need a calculator for this exam??”
May 31 2010 1:34AM
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.Ben
Posts: 454 - Karma: 14
sometimes you can buy eggs that have been fertilized.  Usually at the farmers market though and it would say so on the carton. 
May 31 2010 1:47AM
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FunkyButtLoving
Posts: 60 - Karma: 14
so me and my two roommates decide to go over to one of my roommate's house who lives close to our college.
we all decide that we want to watch the movie Troy since one of the guys hadn't seen it yet.
no joke literally an hour into the movie my roommate who is sitting on the floor leans over and says,
"So Brad Pitt is Troy right?"
Literally the stupidest thing I have heard in a long time.
He kept asking everyone who Troy was and everyone was just completely amazed at his stupidity.
May 31 2010 12:29PM
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Bean_Slc
Posts: 514 - Karma: 25
theres a good chance i posted earlier in this thread and forgot about it, my memory has been a bit off lately for some really odd reason....
May 31 2010 1:42PM
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the.cheat
Posts: 2859 - Karma: 171
it is, if she means it has less pathogens. too toxic for bacteria and shit to live in
May 31 2010 2:19PM
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MANDER
Posts: 4017 - Karma: 2,038
shes my friends sister...
May 31 2010 3:35PM
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jason...
Posts: 9006 - Karma: 780
so ...
May 31 2010 3:41PM
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MANDER
Posts: 4017 - Karma: 2,038
shes in like grade 7 or 8...

(if you say so, thats creepy but i know its coming)
May 31 2010 3:57PM
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Waldo-
Posts: 1026 - Karma: 184
great icon
May 31 2010 4:18PM
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Nathn
Posts: 2408 - Karma: 68
Him: My mom was a baby boomer
Her: Oh I hate those jokes. They're sad
May 31 2010 4:20PM
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Ace3+4
Posts: 1493 - Karma: 50
At the store that i work:
Girl: Hey! Your trying to sell me a fake NIXON. This wath says NOXIN
Me: eee the watch is upside down...
I wasnt sure if i sure laugh or cry
May 31 2010 10:08PM
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Zump.
Posts: 3338 - Karma: 305
"How do geese float?"
May 31 2010 10:13PM
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Fischer-Addicted
Posts: 1064 - Karma: 30
I had an emotional support girl in my Family Consumer Science class way back in middle school.

When the teacher asked her what food group chicken was in, she replied, "uhhhh, the milk group?"
May 31 2010 10:22PM
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WorthDaMoney
Posts: 1140 - Karma: 741
holy fuck ive been wanting to make a thread about my stupid friend in one of my classes because he says the dumbest shit

1.  we were watching this movie called the box (dont ask why because i have no idea either). anyways, there was a scene that someone said "humans are the only animals on earth to kill their own species". so i, flabbergasted, comment to another friends (not the stupid one) and say "thats BS, there are plenty of wild animals that kill their youth" and he agreed with me and added "yea, like im sure a bear would kill other bears to defend its territory."  then the dumb kid comes in a says "yea, and bears kill humans too"  ...

2.  watching some other video about plastic surgery and this guy asks a question: "i dont mean to be rude, but how old are you ? " and the guy replies " well, as a ballpark figure, im nearing half a century". whole class: "holy fuck". dumb kid outloud: "whats half a century? "

3.  talking about the laws of sex and shit like that. and we read an article that said that you had to be 18 to have anal sex. dumb kid: "so is that only between a guy and a guy?"

he says other things that sadly have slipped my mind. but im positive there will be more to come
May 31 2010 10:35PM
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the.cheat
Posts: 2859 - Karma: 171
not a quote but.... once i convinced my sister canada was a dictatorship run by nicholas flamel. (we're like 20 mins from the border) also, i had her thinking florida was a seperate nation for a while...
Jun 2 2010 3:31PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
I find it funny that 80% of the dumb people quoted are women.
Jun 2 2010 3:36PM
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Mr.Luke
Posts: 2441 - Karma: 166
Women have rights you know
Jun 2 2010 3:36PM
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F@ll_down
Posts: 167 - Karma: 10

shes not chineese shes asian.............

Jun 2 2010 3:39PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
yes, they do. Your point...?
Jun 2 2010 3:40PM
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PASKIINGSUCKS
Posts: 9097 - Karma: 777
Upon leaving my house to embark on a 20 some hour drive from PA to the Florida Keys. I told my Gf we were gonna take I 95 all the way down the east coast to hit coastal route one at the top of the keys. This seems funny to her so she asks "Why don't we just take route 1 all the way down?"

Route one is the scenic coastal highway that winds through just about every town on the coast, it would probably take 4 days to drive that route.
Jun 2 2010 4:11PM
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