So I was riding my bike to the gym along a residential street minding my own business when a car with portable suns for headlights comes up behind me (you know. the super-bright-sear-your-eyes-out-because-these-lights-came-from-outer-fucking-space) and I hear teenager voices so I was like eeeeffffiiiiinnnnggg aayyyyyeeee they're going to yell some gay shit.
So as I'm looking back the passenger is getting ready to throw a fast food drink at me. I slam on my Hayes 9inch hydraulic disk brakes and the drink goes into the bushes in front of me. Horrible fucking throw. The driver floors it and the little honda gives all of it's 20 horsepower to get away.
So then I was like... wtf....! uhhmmmm I'm gonna come at you like a fucking spider monkey now. I could see there was a red light like 50 yards ahead so I thought I had a chance to catch him. I dropped a gear and started cranking up a storm and came within 2 yards of the car before the light went green and the car zoomed off with 4 teenage boys cackling in their 95 accord.
I was 2 yards from kicking the shit out of their car. Maybe getting my ass handed to me.
Probably getting my ass handed to me.
daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.