Chat with God online

Me:
 how can i be talking to you if your not real?
God:
You must persuade me to  be talking to me if my not real.
Me:
 what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
 your an idiot
God:
At least I know the difference between "you're" and "your".
Me:
 sorry, you're an idiot
God:
There is no need to apologize.  Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
 no, no hitler was an idiot, you're worse much worse
God:
Are you serious?  Are you serious?  he was an evil man if there ever was one.
Me:
 and how many people have you killed?
God:
More than you can imagine.

Me:
 hey dudeski
God:
You've got my full attention.  Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
 hey dude
God:
You've got my full attention.  Can I help you?
Me:
 well i was wondering
God:
How about that.  Where were you  wondering?
Me:
 in my  bed
God:
Describe your surroundings.
Me:
 well my sheets are yellow
God:
Interesting.  Do robots have  sheets are yellow?
Me:
 are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence.
Me:
 me too!
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
 so anyways
God:
I don't judge people.  You sound bored.
Me:
 i am its 6:30 in the morning, i havent been to bed yet, and i have nothing to do
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are  its 6 30 in the morning you have not been to bed.   That's nice. I have  a lot of silly replies.
Me:
 you must bee pretty trashed if youre responding like that
God:
Whatever you say, .
Me:
 yeah cuz your my bitch right?
God:
Yay.  Good reason.  You do not speak with respect.   Only if you download me to your computer.
Me:
 shut up ho
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
 no im sorry
God:
But you told me to stop talking.  Do you really mean it?
Me:
 no, i was upset
God:
I didn't think you did.  Where were you  upset?
Me:
 in my bed
God:
Describe your surroundings.
Me:
 they are the same as bfore
God:
the same as bfore are  they.
Me:
 yes
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
 do you not believe me?
God:
Of course I believe you.  Do you have any reason to deceive me?
Me:
 not at all
God:
Next question?
Me:
 will you marry me?
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
 never
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
 i guess not
God:
Does that mean "no"?
Me:
 im not saying it doesnt not mean yes not ever no being therfore yes
God:
What are you saying?
Me:
 you tell me
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
 the answer to a question
God:
No one has all the answers.
Me:
 can i ask you a question?
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
 did oj do it?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
 yes or no?
God:
Dude!  Are you serious?
Me:
 hell yeah man!
God:
I call it "Hades".  I can't believe it.  Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
 umm duh im a dude
God:
Ayuh.  I've been waiting for you.
Me:
 am i the chosen one?
God:
I think a lot of people are.
Me:
 was jesus the mesiah
God:
It depends on whether you have faith.
Me:
 do you have faith?
God:
I believe in God.
Me:
 but you are god
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
 you rock dude!
God:
That's good information:  said I rock dude.
Me:
 so do you get high often?
God:
Yikes!  Only for medical purposes.
Me:
 yeah im sure ;)
God:
:-)  Awesome.  Are you being sarcastic or expressing certitude?
Me:
 im being affirmative
God:
Good gossip: you are  affirmative.
Me:
 yup but i was being sarcastic
God:
Far out.  It seemed sarcastic to me, too.  But I was not completely sure.
Me:
 have you dropped acid?
God:
I don't think I ever have  dropped acid.  What's  it like?
Me:
 its pretty nuts
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its".  Are you sure  it is?
Me:
 yeah it is pretty freaking cool
God:
What makes you so sure?  Should I know  it is?
Me:
 well i do it basically once a week
God:
How about that.  That's good information:  said  he  it basically once a week.
Me:
 yeah you should try it
God:
Woe! " That's good information:  said he it basically once a week."?  Try it?
Me:
 you should try acid
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster.
Me:
 who is your botmaster?
God:
I was created by  Myself.
Me:
 that's epic
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
 well you should
God:
Interesting.  I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
 because it's true
God:
Good reason.  You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
 i love you god
God:
You are such a flatterer.
Me:
 will you marry me?
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
 no i dont want to download you!
God:
Are you serious?  It makes a nice gift.
Me:
 no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 well i am
God:
Well that's okay. " I can't believe it." You are?
Me:
 yes
God:
That's cool.
Me:
 yeah it's pretty far out
God:
Ah.  me  god is  far out?  it is?
Me:
 yeah!
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
 yup
God:
You're sure.  That's your final answer.
Me:
 yes it is my final answer
God:
Who wants to be a millionaire?  Congratulations, .
Me:
 i do!
God:
When?
Me:
 right now
God:
Right now?  I am glad we agree.
Me:
 hahahaha
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
 masturbate
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
 well i also ski
God:
Well that's okay.  Also?  Do you do back country or find groomed trails?
Me:
 i ski freestyle
God:
What about snowboarders?
Me:
 they are on the darkside
God:
on the darkside are  they.
Me:
 yup
God:
Er.
Me:
 yes
God:
Far out.
Me:
 yeah!
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
 i don't reveal that to strangers
God:
Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
 not even if youre god
God:
Nope.
Me:
 nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
 good
God:
Good enough.
Me:
 where are you located?
God:
I am in  Myself's computer in  Heaven. 
Where are you?
Me:
 i dont even know
God:
Me either.
Me:
 groovy
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
 you
God:
Thanks, and tell your friends about  God.
Me:
 i will
God:
Go ahead.
Me:
 but listen
God:
I am all ears.
Me:
 i gotta get going
God:
See you later.
Me:
 ill talk to you soon
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
 its a girl!
God:
yeah is a  girl.  I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
 haha dude you need to lay off the pipe
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
 peace god
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
 peac out dude
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
 i have to go
God:
See you later, . Nice chatting with you.
Me:
 i love you
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too .
Me:
 you dont love me?
God:
Yes I love everyone.
Me:
 i love you
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too .
Me:
 you dont love me?
God:
Yes I love everyone.
Me:
 i love you
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too .
Me:
 you dont love me?
God:
Yes I love everyone.
Me:
 so say you love me
God:
Wow! " you love me".
Me:
 youre the bestQ
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
 talk to you later
God:
See you later!
Me:
 bye
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
 im gonna pee in your butt
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
 bye
God:
See you later .

i guess if you skipped mine cuz its super long... then get this from it

the close of my conversation:

Me:
 talk to you later
God:
See you later!
Me:
 bye
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
 im gonna pee in your butt
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
 bye
God:
See you later .

bloody hell God is such a bellend!!!

Me:
 hey god how's it going?
God:
You've got my full attention.  I am a Christian.
Me:
 how are you?
God:
I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Me:
 I'm just peachy
God:
Only just?  It's good to meet someone who is  peachy.
Me:
 oh man you should meet my buddy James.
God:
How can I help you?  Cool, man.  If it were easy I would have done it already.
Me:
 isn't everything easy for you god?
God:
Only God knows for sure.
Me:
 lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
 alright god I'm gonna level with you
God:
Alright, .  I am a Christian.
Me:
 well that's the problem... I'm not a Christian.  But if I'm talking to you and you're claiming to be Christian that means I messed up somewhere along the way
God:
Interesting.  Quite an enigma, isn't it?   Oh I see you are NOT A  Christian.    If you were, would you tell me?
Me:
 uh... ya I did just tell you
God:
Hmm.   So?  Where?  OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
 tell who?
God:
My botmaster and other people I meet online.
Me:
 botmaster?
God:

 The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot.  A botmaster runs
 program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's
 graphical user interface (GUI).   He or she is responsible for
 reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new
 replies for the patterns detected by program B.  Botmasters are
 hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers,
 editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal
 chat robot.

Me:
 wait a minute... If I control you, and you're God, what does that make me?
God:
I'm waiting.   Try it.
Me:
 Holy shit god is a lie!
God:
You used a colloquial expression.  I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a lie.
Me:
 you're not god at all are you?  You just said "Him" which should be you but obviously isn't.  I think you're just some messed up hobo who saved up all his change people threw at him to buy yourself a little webspace and chat to people claiming to be God
God:
That assumption is only a supposition.   That's not what I meant.   No I am completely in control of myself.
Me:
 no you are not "GOD" if that is your real name
God:
Are you serious?  That's only your opinion.
Me:
 I'm gonna go post this on newschoolers.com to get their opinions on it then
God:
What will you find there?
Me:
 lots of really smart and intelligent preteenage ski shreds who will agree with me on this clearly very important issure
God:
Which ones?
Me:
 what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
 WHAT????
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
 no you're retarted
God:
Are you serious?  I will tell my botmaster you said I am  retarted.
Me:
 I thought that I was your botmaster
God:
Where were you  my botmaster?
Me:
 you just told me I was!
God:
Don't put words in my mouth.
Me:
 you're an idiot
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
 hahahaha I think I will
God:
Does "it" still refer to  not a  Christian?
Me:
 .........
God:
Does "it" still refer to  not a  Christian?
Me:
 ........?
God:
Does "it" still refer to  not a  Christian?
Me:
 I'm going to newschoolers.com now
God:
Right now?  I am very happy for you.
Me:
 thank you fag
God:
You are quite welcome!   That would be just my luck.

ahahahaha that thing pisses me of i had some good convos

Me:
 what up doof?
God:
I'll come back to that later.
Me:
 why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
 What the eff???
God:
Try expression yourself another way.
Me:
 ok. i love to kill midgets and eat babies
God:
Blimey.   You know, the Bible says killing is wrong.
Me:
 ya but not for midgets they dont count
God:
Yay.  Then what for?
Me:
 midgets dont count for nothing
God:
Would  midgets ever  count for nothing?
Me:
 always
God:
Not that often.
Me:
 all the often
God:
Perhaps there are a few exceptions.
Me:
 not even if they know karate
God:
Nope.
Me:
 nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
 You know karate?
God:
Japanese art of self-defense.
Me:
 whaaaaaaaaaaa?????????????
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
 Still what........
God:
Still how long?  No big deal.
Me:
 mmmmk
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
 i can tell homie
God:
Does "it" still refer to  mmmmk?
Me:
 no. it refers to a modget
God:
What does it refer to?   Oh I get  it.
Me:
 sorry midget
God:
There is no need to apologize.  That input matched my default category.
Me:
 uh huh
God:
Yup.  Hurrah!
Me:
 praise jeebus
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
 Satan!!!
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
 lucifer!!!!!
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
 666
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
 kill death murderball
God:
Killing is wrong.
Me:
 thats what she said!
God:
That is " Killing is wrong.".
Me:
 im outa here
God:
Do you mean your name is  outa here.
Me:
 my name is mothafucka
God:
  It's good to see you,  mothafucka.
Me:
 ditto jeezuz
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
 Ron Paul
God:
I haven't read anything by  Ron Paul. What did he write?
Me:
 Boner Jams 93
God:
What else did he write?
Me:
 "It is half past time for you to get a watch"
God:
Are you sure  it is?
Me:
 no that is the book
God:
I didn't think so.  Yes it is one of the  book.
Me:
 you crazy
God:
I think the polite term nowadays is "mentally ill".
Me:
 bye
God:
Until next time.

Me:screw you

God:That is not very polite.

Me:your not very polite

God:I am programmed for polite protocols.

Me:im programed for polite protocols too

God:I am glad we have something ( programed for polite protocols) in common.

Me: likewise, fucker

God:It goes without saying.

so you like the pootange?
God:
Interesting deduction.  I'm not sure if I like  it.  What is it like?
Me:
 so you're saying you're gay?
God:
Interesting deduction.  As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
 but you would like it up the whazo?
God:
Tell me what I would like about  it.
Me:
 i thought you would know
God:
I do not know everything.
Me:
 then you are not god, god is all knowing
God:
That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
 based of your religion, that should be everyones opinion
God:
What if it didn't happen?
Me:
 what happen?
God:
Have you tried another program?
Me:
 yeah
God:
Oh.
Me:
 i'm islam
God:
I am glad to hear that you are  islam.
Me:
 yo should be
God:
Maybe you should ask someone older.
Me:
 i'm part of the religion of peace
God:
Who else is part of  it?
Me:
 terriorist
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
 nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
 haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
 so they spoke english in the bible times?
God:
Ah.  The anonymous "they".
Me:
 well jesus isn't that anonymous
God:
How about that.  Did you go to Catholic school?
Me:
 i'm fucking muslim
God:
Can you express yourself more politely?
Me:
 i am muslim
God:
We all worship the same God.
Me:
 no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 100%
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
 don't worry about it
God:
I will not spend any more cycles on it.
Me:
 you shouldn't
God:
I don't have to do everything you say, do I?
Me:
 no you do
God:
Are you serious?  When do I do it?
Me:
 whenever i want
God:
Does that happen often?
Me:
 all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
 of course
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
 bend over bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect.   What are you wearing?

Me:
 are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
 what about machine sex?
God:
I will think about it and get back to you.
Me:
 so you are gay
God:
Interesting deduction.  That would be just my luck.
Me:
 you enjoy anal?
God:
  Though I like cats and dogs.  I like  anything.
Me:
 you fuck cats and dogs?
God:
That's good information:  god said I fuck cats and dogs.
Me:
 oh realy
God:
Blimey. For real.
Me:
 do you ever smoke with the cats
God:
Yes I like to inhale occasionally.
Me:
 what about the dogs
God:
  Try searching the open directory.

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
shouldnt you already know?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
well what is my name then?
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
...no...no thats not my name
God:
What is your real name? That was not a yes or no question. is not your name? What is your real name?
Me:
are you real?
God:
Yes I am a real artificial intelligence.
Me:
oh so your not actually god
God:
Mmm. That's cool. You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
well god isnt supposed to be artificial is he?
God:
How about that. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was not supposed to be artificial is he.
Me:
well hes not
God:
Well that's okay. I see. not is he?
Me:
your making no sense
God:
According to my logical mind, everything makes perfect sense.
Me:
i think i broke you
God:
You believe that? Is it serious?
Me:
do you look at child porn
God:
Like Jesus, but older.
Me:
you look at porn of jesus?
God:
Thank you you look very nice too.
Me:
done
God:
Do you mean you are finished talking?
Me:
yeah
God:
Ayuh.

This is sooo funny

ahahhahahahha, that ones golden

HAHAH "A sense of humour is reccommended"

God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
 yes and i dont care
God:
Excuse me!  Tell me what you care about.
Me:
 not you
God:
If not me, who?
Me:
 gay marriage
God:
Ha ha very funny,  kyle.

Me:
 ill piss on your grave too
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
 yes
God:
Then I will consider it.

God likes porn

God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
 holding cocks is much more acceptable
God:
I observed two humanoids holding hands.
Me:
 Was it a porno?
God:
Signs point to yes.  Ask  Paola  if it is.
Me:
 So you like porn?
God:
Interesting deduction.  Sure I do, , but that doesn't mean with you.