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Best Text Message Ever! Don't wax your balls

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hemlockjibber8
Posts: 5975 - Karma: 3,530
From [ns name] Pete. to me via text message

" 11:00PM
Mon, Jun 23
My balls hurt.
Never wax them
ever. Ever ever
ever ever. Please
ever. Never do
it."

Peter you're so gay.
You better be getting those blow jobs everyday now.

Jun 24 2008 11:58PM
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mntelebumper
Posts: 1287 - Karma: 10
haha that is great

Jun 25 2008 12:00AM
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danetudor
Posts: 178 - Karma: 1,325
hahahahha briaaaaaaaaaaaan
Jun 25 2008 12:30AM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,272
hahahaha, how did he get such an idea?
Jun 25 2008 1:43AM
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lalalalaura
Posts: 6753 - Karma: 68
pete, submit that shit for the ns essay contest
Jun 25 2008 1:45AM
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fsscott
Posts: 4684 - Karma: 114
HAHA I CAN'T STOP LAUGHTING!!
Jun 25 2008 2:49AM
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chames
Posts: 2331 - Karma: -33
hahahaha thats so messed up. sounds like it wasn't worth the extra bj or 2
Jun 25 2008 3:06AM
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jason...
Posts: 9006 - Karma: 780
my greatest text from pete has to be "fuck you i am drunk"
Jun 25 2008 3:17AM
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van_ski
Posts: 466 - Karma: 39
haha
Jun 25 2008 3:54AM
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chames
Posts: 2331 - Karma: -33
haha that is funny as well^^ i think ive got one similar from a freind
Jun 25 2008 4:52AM
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anthony_B
Posts: 1279 - Karma: 64
Why the hell would you wax your balls in the first place. Everyone know you gotta shave down there.

but it reminds me of a story and NEVER DO THIS:

I was icing my knees back when I used to train moguls about 8/10 years ago and then I decided to put some icy hot on my knees. I just wiped my hands with I dry towel thinking I had wiped off an excess. I went to bed and my knees were feeling better, and everybody has that last scratch before they get to sleep. Nontheless I woke up about 10 minutes later screaming in pain. My balls were on fire for atleast 30 minutes. I tried cold water, i tried hot water. Nothing seemed to do the trick.


So... the moral of the story is don't mess with your balls whether it be waxing it or icy hotting em.
Jun 25 2008 8:27AM
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reverendwrong
Posts: 3145 - Karma: 142
lmao, priceless
Jun 25 2008 11:33AM
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reverendwrong
Posts: 3145 - Karma: 142
lmao, priceless
Jun 25 2008 11:34AM
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E.C.
Posts: 3211 - Karma: 319
haha so great funny stories
Jun 25 2008 2:51PM
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Ryno
Posts: 31125 - Karma: 336
I cant see the 'removal' part of waxing going well for guys...last thing i want is my bag ripped off
Jun 25 2008 3:09PM
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Calb3rt
Posts: 6005 - Karma: 2,203
when i was younger i talked my brother into putting bengay on his coin-purse. at first he was like "hey, this is nice.." and then i have never seen him scream so hard in my life. it was hilarious, he was running around the house to all the sinks trying to dip his nuts in to wash it off, but he couldnt get close enough to the water so eventually he curled up in the fetal poistion.
Jun 25 2008 3:09PM
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davar6
Posts: 555 - Karma: 24
so this one day i was eating hot sauce out of a cup... i dont really know why but i would dip my finger in and then lik my finger.(that sounds kinda dirty). then i realized i wanted to go to the bathroom so i did the usual but i didnt realize that there was still some hotsauce on my fingers and right away my dick started burning ... and i mean BURNING. this was one of the worst pains of my entire life. then next period (this all happened at school) the dreadful pain had settled down but i had a bad stomach ache type thing. i ended up throwing up. luckily the class was outside when it all went down. so the moral of the story is never i repeat NEVER drink a cup of daves insanity hotsauce then go to the bathroom.
Jun 25 2008 3:13PM
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g.off
Posts: 724 - Karma: 841
roflrofl
Jun 25 2008 3:54PM
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tribefan226
Posts: 2122 - Karma: 209
i can top that. i got revenge hot sauce in my eye at school thanks to dipping my finger in it an rubbing my eye. and i wear contacts. that was painful
Jun 25 2008 4:23PM
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Phill.
Posts: 1149 - Karma: 37
haha my friend was like "my girl friend wouldnt give me a job cause of pubs so i shaved them...it hurt like a mofo..." it was funny cause she dumped him a few days later.... he never got it
Jun 25 2008 4:29PM
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chimp
Posts: 616 - Karma: 117
i dumped a think of hot sauce on my eyes, what
Jun 25 2008 4:30PM
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mr_grom
Posts: 708 - Karma: 51
wow
Jun 25 2008 4:54PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 427

When i think of waxing i imagine a nipple being torn off in the fight of the removal of the wax and paper

Jun 25 2008 5:30PM
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doritos
Posts: 7368 - Karma: 53
Haha, ouch, eye pains hurt so bad... But I can top that. Back before we could party at houses me and a some buddies used to go to this camp we had in the middle of ass nowhere, infested with mosquitoes but aside from that it was a good time. Eventually we got fed up with the bugs and got the most hardcore bug spray imaginable: 100% deet. For perspective, Off! DEEP WOODS, the most extreme mainstream offering, contains 25% deet. This shit practically causes cancer on contact. Before I went to sleep I was putting some on by spraying it on to my hands and then rubbing it around. I was obviously loaded, so I completely forgot this when I went to take out my contacts a few minutes later. Talk about excruciating.
Jun 25 2008 6:17PM
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frstyl46skier
Posts: 566 - Karma: 18
lol i love how this thread went from waxin the balls to bug spray in the eyes...thats a good thread right there
Jun 25 2008 6:24PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 427

when i was younger my mom bought me these really bomb purfumes an i was so excited i breathed in through my mouth while i sprayed it straight in to my eyes, that was awesome i was coughing and crying and i smelt beautiful

Jun 25 2008 6:28PM
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fezz
Posts: 542 - Karma: 28
hahahaha
Jun 25 2008 10:41PM
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andrew.
Posts: 2349 - Karma: 165
i wasnt planning on waxing down there, but thanks for the heads up
Jun 25 2008 11:53PM
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Malcolm
Posts: 15951 - Karma: 9,451
i was just about to wax my balls thanks
Jun 25 2008 11:57PM
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hemlockjibber8
Posts: 5975 - Karma: 3,530
This one fine fellow in Kicking Horse ate some of the hottest competitions wings known to man. seriously. never washed his hands. went to a club. found a lady. fingered her... you cna figure the rest out.
Jun 26 2008 12:41AM
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TahO[e]HIOJibber
Posts: 177 - Karma: 220
hahahahaha
Jun 26 2008 12:48AM
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TheWorst
Posts: 7883 - Karma: 17

it was a friend of a friend of mines stag and my buddy took him to get a brazilian wax and they waxed his balls also... he said part of his sac got cut torn though... ouch.

Jun 26 2008 12:51AM
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Sir.Pete
Posts: 1617 - Karma: 84
That Totally was you Brian!

fuckin champ!
Jul 8 2008 12:55AM
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chames
Posts: 2331 - Karma: -33
hahahahahaha. that last part is perfect.  "so eventually he curled up in the fetal poistion".
Jul 15 2008 5:47AM
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Rosbif
Posts: 2543 - Karma: 930
A friend of mine from uni had a simlar experience at his rugby club initiation (british uni rugby club guys are a bit like fratboys but more brutal and a bit more gay). The initiation involved a lot of drinking, he had already vommed and carried on drinking a few times by the time they had to do some sort of naked challenge, anyhow after a bit of running around naked and being tormented he got tabasco sauce (hot sauce) put on his japs eye. His night ended with him curled in the fetal position in the bottom of his shower, simultaneosly puking and weeping whilst trying anything he could to stop his cock hurting.

To put uni rugby boys in context our team got banned from drinking on the coach after 'dentist chairing' (pouring neat spirits straight down their neck) a fresher so much that he shat himself. nice.
Jul 15 2008 9:00AM
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dweezileast
Posts: 9661 - Karma: 276
balls are too dangly to consider waxing
Jul 15 2008 9:53AM
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Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,014
yeah, my balls arent like covered in fucking hair either, i mean theres some but its not like a yeti
Jul 15 2008 10:51AM
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JHDski47
Posts: 596 - Karma: 26
theres this kid on my football team that is an asshole and hes a junior.  so all the seniors made him cover his dick and balls in icy hot before we went out to practice.   he was in sooo much pain and he had to deal with it all through practice
Jul 15 2008 12:08PM
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bobross
Posts: 468 - Karma: 11
Yea so my Dad goes to this acupuncturist a lot and bought this liquid from him that was just like icy hot but a lot stronger.  Same story as everyone else and same conclusion  hahaha so painful
Jul 15 2008 1:00PM
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bobross
Posts: 468 - Karma: 11
same story as in icing my knees after lacrosse practice, not as in rugby guys put it on my dick ha which is just fucking brutal initiation
Jul 15 2008 1:05PM
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