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I can never beat Utah

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snowbladesforlife
Posts: 2033 - Karma: -3
In the 12 trips I have driven across Utah I have always attempted to never set foot on the ground, but it's never happened. With this being my last trip, I thought it was feasible. Utah can suck a fat dick and I will never go back. If you are from Southern Utah (Green River, Richfield, Beaver, Cedar City or Saint George) I would go to your local WalMart, since every town there over 1000 people has one (I have nothing against WalMart, I patronize it heavily, but when it makes up 90% of your town's sales then it seems kind of socialist or completely efficient, I'm not sure) buy a gun, put it in your mouth and pull the trigger. It will just make your life a lot better. Look I'm sure UT is sweet if you're from Ohio or Minnesota or something, but it seriously sucks dick. Southern UT is fucking weird, there are several towns that I believe are just 1 large Mormon family and why is the windshield wiper fluid at gas stations always really clean? I mean that's cool, but it's creepy as fuck.

So back to the point, my car was running well and had gotten close to 30 MPG and I topped off at Grand Junction, the Utah of Colorado. It is about 400 miles from there to the Nevada border and I thought I had it. I was planning a McCormick's shot and a victory jerk for the border passing.

I had it all planned out. I wasn't going to make it rain on I-70 like usual and get another ticket from officer Brigham Young. I was going to stay at more fuel efficient 85 MPH. But I got complacent. Well I had to refuel and touch that bullshit UT ground.

cliff notes: FUCK UTAH.


May 31 2008 5:21AM
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NoTeefa
Posts: 9566 - Karma: 129
Hahaha, awesome, good thread!
May 31 2008 7:48AM
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spliff.Life
Posts: 7847 - Karma: 1,549
i think utah is a pretty tight place myself
May 31 2008 11:04AM
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gordie.
Posts: 2014 - Karma: 84
this shit makes so little sense to me
May 31 2008 11:09AM
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chimp
Posts: 616 - Karma: 117
how do you not get it, utah sucks thats it
May 31 2008 11:12AM
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R-Bertsch
Posts: 4719 - Karma: 20
how are you gonna hate on ohio
May 31 2008 11:40AM
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laurence^
Posts: 1575 - Karma: 19
your pissed g and your drunk
May 31 2008 12:03PM
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i.ski.troll.
Posts: 4692 - Karma: 247
shittttt lol
minnesotas the shit
May 31 2008 12:10PM
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Reptar.
Posts: 1509 - Karma: 34
Southern utah is its own fucking country. if you were in Slc/PC  you'd be like"OMGOMG so sweeeeeeet!!!!11!1!1"
May 31 2008 2:04PM
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Meh42
Posts: 2431 - Karma: 14
WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO ANGRY?

Although I totally agree with you about Grand Junction.
May 31 2008 2:06PM
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cab509
Posts: 806 - Karma: 34
Thats what I wanna know
May 31 2008 3:07PM
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Dustin.
Posts: 13839 - Karma: 7,704
This might be my favorite thread ever.  So very entertaining.  + Karma.
May 31 2008 3:31PM
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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
whenever im goiung through bumfuk utah i'll stop at some gas station and a little water spring in moab. In the first part of provo theres a legit sandwich shop, outher than that, fuck mormons
May 31 2008 3:36PM
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Aenigma
Posts: 11256 - Karma: 424

Haha, this thread is awesome!  I visit Utah to go mountain biking every year, but I make a point to never speak to anyone unless they:
A) Are from out of state or
B) Force me into a conversation

And SLC really isn't much better, the people there still suck (for the most part).  Out of all the large cities I have been to it is definitely my least favorite, hands down.

May 31 2008 3:59PM
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eheath
Posts: 61590 - Karma: 122,949
Hahaha good one. Maybe actually try visiting SLC and PC, you'll change your mind about that. The fact you've just been on I70, which is in southern utah, which is probably the shittiest part of utah other than moab. You're funny though.




Oh did i mention that you're a complete moron? And you also sound like you're 12. Grow up.
May 31 2008 4:10PM
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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
no butsecks?
May 31 2008 4:17PM
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doublexl
Posts: 8407 - Karma: 27
hahaha i totally agree with you. my parents dragged me to st. george once and i sucked so much dick! plus, utah is totally tainted to me, because i have to go to provo every couple of years. its like the stepford wives there.
May 31 2008 4:28PM
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LOVEPOW
Posts: 646 - Karma: 15

your kind of gay if you ask me

I guess youve never been skiing in utah

May 31 2008 4:41PM
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Aenigma
Posts: 11256 - Karma: 424
Now that's a reasonable conclusion if I have ever seen one.
May 31 2008 4:44PM
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LOVEPOW
Posts: 646 - Karma: 15

your kind of gay if you ask me

I guess youve never been skiing in utah

May 31 2008 5:14PM
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JHDski47
Posts: 596 - Karma: 26
you sucked so much dick????? thats not a good time to make a typing error
May 31 2008 5:46PM
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GetPitted
Posts: 3443 - Karma: 2,299
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
May 31 2008 6:27PM
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paulbunyan
Posts: 3110 - Karma: 90
whoa! hatin on minnesota! whats with that i love minnesota even thou its boring at times
May 31 2008 6:30PM
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doublexl
Posts: 8407 - Karma: 27
hahahahahahaha i meant 'it'
May 31 2008 6:32PM
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KyleA
Posts: 865 - Karma: 510
I enjoy utah
May 31 2008 6:45PM
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Reptar.
Posts: 1509 - Karma: 34
hahahhahahaha nice find!
May 31 2008 6:51PM
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snowbladesforlife
Posts: 2033 - Karma: -3
Ohio isn't shitty? I didn't even think that was debatable.
May 31 2008 9:43PM
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landonn
Posts: 2913 - Karma: 385
slc and pc are way cool. outside of this utah can suck some dick.
May 31 2008 10:09PM
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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
oh yah you have to be 19 TO BUY CIGARETTES, FUCK MORMONS
Jun 1 2008 12:07AM
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encludemeout
Posts: 285 - Karma: 10
your name has snowblade in it. this proves you don't know anything about the universe.
ohio p0wns.
actually, the skiing is rediculously bad in all honesty.
Jun 1 2008 1:30AM
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eheath
Posts: 61590 - Karma: 122,949
Solution: don't smoke cigs.
Jun 1 2008 1:35AM
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landonn
Posts: 2913 - Karma: 385
dude, if this kid didn't smoike cigs, he might be dead. haha. jk.
Jun 1 2008 1:39AM
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Campeador
Posts: 7516 - Karma: -1,227
no hard feelings if I put this in my sig?
Jun 1 2008 2:24AM
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snowbladesforlife
Posts: 2033 - Karma: -3
Have fun, I am glad you enjoy it. I prefer not to visit or live in places that creep the fuck out of me. I am sure the summer in Utah is great.
Jun 1 2008 6:59PM
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iridepc
Posts: 434 - Karma: 577
I love Utah
Jun 1 2008 7:01PM
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Bdale
Posts: 33 - Karma: 180
never been there and have no interest in going anytime soon
Jun 1 2008 7:10PM
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eheath
Posts: 61590 - Karma: 122,949
SLC and PC creep the fuck out of you? You're an ignorant little cunt aren't you?
Jun 1 2008 7:13PM
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b-kul
Posts: 4350 - Karma: 1,111
lolz. that t can be a slippery devil.
Jun 1 2008 7:43PM
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Tbrody
Posts: 1597 - Karma: 685
so you don't like Utah and think it's creepy because you think that some towns are made of one family and the wiper fluid is clean?

i'm pretty sure you are a troll



Jun 1 2008 8:17PM
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snowbladesforlife
Posts: 2033 - Karma: -3
I just love how people think PC isn't mormon.

If a town has 30% black or asian people, it is termed as a black or asian town.

...
Jun 1 2008 9:34PM
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Alex_thedroog
Posts: 3433 - Karma: 2
hey, at least he isn't fucking up our amazing town
Jun 1 2008 9:39PM
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BIG_SALTY
Posts: 574 - Karma: 34

i like utah there skiing is sick

Jun 1 2008 9:49PM
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eheath
Posts: 61590 - Karma: 122,949
How would you even know? You have your own fucking ego shoved so far up your ass you think you know everything. Just stop, your opinion is so ridiculously bias that you just shouldnt even talk.
Jun 1 2008 9:56PM
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cracko
Posts: 2904 - Karma: 12
SLC is fuckin sick...but i thought your last 2 paragraphs were hilarious. i have definitely driven through some of those towns on the way to aspen and there are indeed creepy.
Jun 1 2008 10:02PM
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Malcolm
Posts: 15951 - Karma: 9,451
i dont understand
Jun 1 2008 10:03PM
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snowbladesforlife
Posts: 2033 - Karma: -3
I know because I know things.

And you aren't biased at all?
Jun 1 2008 10:05PM
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eheath
Posts: 61590 - Karma: 122,949
At least i base my opinion on things ive experienced, not on things that i think i know.
Jun 1 2008 10:07PM
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i.ski.troll.
Posts: 4692 - Karma: 247
utah is wack
Jun 1 2008 10:10PM
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snowbladesforlife
Posts: 2033 - Karma: -3
Honestly, aside from skiing why do think UT is that cool?

Did you get a handski from a horse-faced, swamp donkey at a party or something and now you think it's sweet?
Jun 1 2008 10:13PM
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eheath
Posts: 61590 - Karma: 122,949
OMG how did you know! Once again, sorry that utah isn't full of a bunch of dumbshit blonde bitches going to fashion school, utah isn't california, sorry.
Jun 1 2008 10:14PM
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