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October, 2024

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Funny teacher stories

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snowplow
Posts: 55 - Karma: 10
my teacher kicked me out of class for drinking water today. splendid.
Apr 6 2008 1:13AM
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potato_man
Posts: 2158 - Karma: 89
should we clap for you?
Apr 6 2008 1:14AM
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1080ski
Posts: 4424 - Karma: 191
this is a story about my teacher. well actually its just some stuff about him, but funny non the less

his best friend in college (note, this is NOT the funny part) died and he got really depressed. he had always done drugs, but he started doing a lot of em now that his best bud just passed away.

the funny part is that we ask him in class and he tells us about how he did heroin once, coke, extacy, weed, etc... actually its kinda fucked up but still interesting to hear because he is really open and he tells us how he thinks it has changed him as a person and stuff. hes a cool guy (he stopped doing drugs a long time ago) but its just funny when he knows EVERY drug term ever haha
Apr 6 2008 1:28AM
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snowplow
Posts: 55 - Karma: 10
in like gr.2 this kid let out a jar of bees in the class then tried to stab the teacher with scissors.
Apr 6 2008 1:38AM
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Piste.Off
Posts: 11586 - Karma: 1,860
in 1st grade a kid brought a rhino to class then shot his teacher
Apr 6 2008 1:41AM
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snowplow
Posts: 55 - Karma: 10
by a rhino what do you mean? because that would be impossible.
Apr 6 2008 9:03PM
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ThaLetterM.
Posts: 8609 - Karma: 1,613
some weird kid came to school in 2nd grade with a needle and the intentions to "pop" people..not a teacher story..but needed to be said
Apr 6 2008 9:05PM
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Alex=God
Posts: 2422 - Karma: 139
some kid super glued/taped a giant dildo to our civics teachers classroom tv
Apr 6 2008 9:08PM
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Dylan_
Posts: 9824 - Karma: 1,403
uhm this 6 ft 4 kid 250 pounds punched my spanish teacher (that was in the marines) in the face.. the teacher was harrasing him
Apr 6 2008 9:09PM
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snowplow
Posts: 55 - Karma: 10
dude that's so funny.
Apr 6 2008 10:42PM
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Skierguy1234
Posts: 1684 - Karma: 88

NO ME GUSTA!!!

Apr 6 2008 10:49PM
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Dylan_
Posts: 9824 - Karma: 1,403
oh me gusta are spanish teacher got suspended but he has 10 year soo..... their trying to suspened him and hopefully fire him.. hes crazy, cant teach,hes sexsus, and rasict, and cant grade papers worth shit, i can go on forever
Apr 6 2008 10:51PM
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charmander
Posts: 10636 - Karma: 370
dont come to my class high again!
Apr 6 2008 10:51PM
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Mr.LemonPie
Posts: 4100 - Karma: 1,625
Last year I had the worst spanish teacher ever, and she doesn't have her own room so it was always unlocked before she got there...bad for her, funny for us.

We would take all the chalk and put it on the top of the chalk board, then refuse to get it down for her. (she is like 5'2")

26 out of 28 kids walked out all at once, right in the middle of one of her rants.

We took the mouse ball thing out of her mouse for the computer, and put it in the pencil sharpener.

We unplgged her computer and hid all the cords around the room.

We took the lightbulb out of the overhead.

We took her entire cart and rolled it down the stares while she was at her computer while she didn't even fucking notice (she was old)

We put the chalk board erasers on top of the overhead screen, when she pulled the screen down they landed on her head...


And lots of other stuff I can't remember.


O yeah, my spanish teacher this year openly admitted to getting hammered the night before and being completely hung-over that mourning. (no one likes her either)

And my english teacher last year had OCD about stuff being in the right places on his desk, so we would move everything, every day, all over the class, and watch him freak out.
Apr 6 2008 10:59PM
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Skierguy1234
Posts: 1684 - Karma: 88
well listen to what this kid in my school did the other day....

our vice principal starts yelling at him for something, and this kid just starts flipping out, yelling back at him.  and this is in the cafeteria.  so the VP says "get to my office" and walks out, and the kids following him. and the VP pushes the door pretty hard walking out of the cafeteria, and it bangs, and the kid's walking behind him and he goes "i can do that too old man!!" and slams the door against the wall like 4 times.  Now our VP starts flipping out. and this kid goes "shut the fuck up! i'll fucking kill you!!! i'll fucking cut you from ear to ear bitch!!! ear to ear!!! my lawyer's gunna come in, and you know what? he's gunna cut you from fucking ear to ear!!!" the whole time he's doing this, he's making hand motions of cutting our VP from ear to ear....

the kids lawyer comes in...he's in school the next day without even a detention.
Apr 6 2008 11:01PM
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Dylan_
Posts: 9824 - Karma: 1,403
omfg^^ that sounds exatly like my spanish class! noone in my school likes the spanish teacher (theres 3) but mine- noone likes eveyrone else likes the others. but yeah he dosent have his own room eaithe rbc e got suspended for sexual harrasment lmao. weve had plenty of classwalk outs too its greattt so much funny shit going on in that class
Apr 6 2008 11:02PM
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holyDINOSAURS
Posts: 7038 - Karma: 639
when i was in grade 7 my teacher came to school with some huge hiceys on his neck and blamed it on his scarf...
we then learned that he was gay...

Apr 6 2008 11:03PM
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Mr.LemonPie
Posts: 4100 - Karma: 1,625
that is great, like seriously amazing...

The drummer for my band class ditches alot of classes, so his dean comes up to him and is like whats up with all these unexcused absences?

Don't be a bitch Mrs. Rasmussen, what does it matter?

"O so I'm a bitch?

yeah

come to my office

(I am sitting outside...waiting for him)

I hear him yell, "don't compare me to my brother you mumbling cunt"

GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE YOU ARE OUTTA HERE

he got a week suspension...oops.
Apr 6 2008 11:16PM
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ThaLetterM.
Posts: 8609 - Karma: 1,613
we have a teacher in my school named mr. plum who is like 50 years old teaches bio..and he is the most obvious stoner ive ever seen..dead t shirts, hemp bracelets, etc.

one day this one sketchy kid in my bio class had a little bag of coke..and he was literally blowing lines on the table in the back of the room..and plum saw him and was just like..uhh put that away. thats it. it was awesome
Apr 6 2008 11:21PM
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kyle_w
Posts: 6805 - Karma: 23
some nasty mother fucker put a turd in my 8th grade history teachers jacket pocket. he is a germophobe
Apr 6 2008 11:24PM
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sowstochd
Posts: 1518 - Karma: 59
my teacher is a lesbian














no shes not
Apr 6 2008 11:26PM
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snowplow
Posts: 55 - Karma: 10
my science teacher is so fat, she blames it on genetics plus she's almost bald.  she has her salad in a punch bowl it sooo big. all science teachers are always bitches though.  its so funny when kids talk back.
Apr 6 2008 11:27PM
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lushlaxstr
Posts: 3063 - Karma: 41
my bio teacher is the track coach and a kid was sleeping in his class so he took the starter pistol and shot it right next to the kid, and this other teacher in the class room next to his went on lockdown mode and and like locked his door and had all his students go hide in the corner, ha
Apr 6 2008 11:30PM
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charmander
Posts: 10636 - Karma: 370
all my science teachers have kicked ass
Apr 6 2008 11:30PM
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snowplow
Posts: 55 - Karma: 10
dude that's classic
Apr 6 2008 11:32PM
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Never_Better
Posts: 105 - Karma: 10
In Chinese class i have a little old Chinese lady for a teacher, and one day i took a board eraser and put it on top of her head during class, she has like the perfect hair style, its all flat on top, it was on there for a good 5 minutes until i took it off cuz it was to funny i was dieing!!





Apr 6 2008 11:36PM
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snowplow
Posts: 55 - Karma: 10
i think everyone on this list should get there cell phone out when there teacher starts spazzing and video tape it or record it and post it on this thread.
Apr 6 2008 11:38PM
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skierdudeguy
Posts: 6574 - Karma: 81
in bio like 3 years ago my friend julia did the homework but i didnt. i asked her to do mine, and she did. our assignments were exactly the same (she did them both), and he gave me 15/15 and her 10/15, it was great.
Apr 6 2008 11:40PM
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nkinsman10
Posts: 1088 - Karma: 45
a teacher kicked a hole through a kids desk cause he was pissed at him
Apr 6 2008 11:43PM
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TZP
Posts: 874 - Karma: 61
for a spanish oral a few years ago, I hadnt prepared anything, so I brought my acoustic guitar said " Me llamo simon" and played a james blunt song. got the whole class singing along and scored a 98% .
Apr 6 2008 11:46PM
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woolymammoth
Posts: 242 - Karma: 13
Last year my evil english teacher had us wright "I believe" essays and said it could be on anything we believe

well he flunked my friend and made me rewrite mine because he didn't agree with what we believed in (the downfall of america-him and procrastination-me)
Apr 7 2008 1:44AM
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DudeAbides
Posts: 333 - Karma: 10
its a fact, people from vermont, such as myself, enjoy smoking a little Buddha every now and then. And having attended a high school where i am pretty sure half the history department baked on a daily basis, this came as little surprise to me....

So my buddy worked at Alta last year, and it just so happens that another kid there was the nephew of this teacher, Mr. Shaw, at our high school. Well the kid, the nephew, was talking to my buddy about said teacher and it turns out that the kid only goes back to Vt twice a year. Once on xmas and once during "harvest season." Having heard this my buddy had to ask... "Harvest season, what the fuck is that?"

and here is the kids reply...

"yea man, harvest season. My uncle, your teacher, grows the dankest weed i have ever smoked. So much so that i fly home twice a year, once for xmas and once for harvest season."
Apr 7 2008 2:46AM
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notime_for_jokes
Posts: 554 - Karma: 11
last friday my sum kids were fooling around on the teachers chair, and when he saw them he grabbed one kid by the kneck and threw him onto a desk(while still strangling him at the neck). then he started screaming and yelling and calling kids assholes and whatnot, (still pinning the kid to desk/strangling)
and after about 2minutes of pure screaming, he goes "or i can be calm(in a calm chill voice). then goes OR I CAN STAY LIKE THIS I FYOU KEEP MAKING ME MAD!!!

skitzo.

he eventlually let go of the kid but his neck was sore he said
Apr 7 2008 12:33PM
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RRhighrider
Posts: 2140 - Karma: 1,124

my first year of college my chm 121 teacher would erase the chalk board with his gut because he was so fat very entertain for him to turn around and have chalk all over his shirt and pants

Apr 7 2008 1:36PM
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PhaedeD
Posts: 11498 - Karma: 327
i slept with my high school spanish teacher.
Apr 7 2008 4:29PM
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thecounty
Posts: 1450 - Karma: 290
really??
Apr 7 2008 4:52PM
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Hannah.
Posts: 4625 - Karma: 56
hmmmmmm one of my teachers got pissed off at my class and threw a desk and a kid and punched a window ... he resigned soon after
Apr 7 2008 4:57PM
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Foxy_Grandpa
Posts: 594 - Karma: 12
i got a detention from my homeroom teacher for "being a hard ass" when i did absolutely nothing.
Apr 7 2008 5:03PM
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BootySpunk.
Posts: 8148 - Karma: 84
I was there it truly did happen like this...our homeroom guy is a dick anyways.
Apr 7 2008 5:05PM
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Owen.
Posts: 1134 - Karma: 13
BANG ME LIKE A HAMMER
Apr 7 2008 5:35PM
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Alex_thedroog
Posts: 3433 - Karma: 2
My health teacher was

and she was also vegan

and her bones are deteriorating...she is a bad example of a health teacer
Apr 7 2008 6:25PM
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Reed.S
Posts: 1126 - Karma: 10
my spanish teacher always misses days cause she has "migranes" we alll know shes drunk and shes missed 25 days so far and i asked her after a day she missed how was the bar and she said "awesome"
Apr 7 2008 6:45PM
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Lax_Bro40
Posts: 5166 - Karma: 18
hahahha its TENURE dude lmao
Apr 7 2008 6:54PM
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snowriderdj
Posts: 344 - Karma: 11

my english teacher got pisseed at kids for playing tic tac toe and she slammed her fist on the over head projector and completely smashed the glass then she was all embarrased ...it was funny

Apr 7 2008 7:52PM
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fourhundred
Posts: 2760 - Karma: 21
fuck you mr.hadley
Apr 7 2008 8:19PM
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jimmer
Posts: 3586 - Karma: 80
a teacher at my school got fired because he fell asleep and some kids started smoking weed. he woke up and didn't even notice because they sprayed axe.

and another teacher got fired for putting his penis inside one of his girl students on a regular basis, nothing spectacular.
Apr 7 2008 9:31PM
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Never_Better
Posts: 105 - Karma: 10
hahahah i dont know why i just think thats too funny!
Apr 7 2008 9:34PM
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evaroni
Posts: 3895 - Karma: 3,776
last week my buddy snatched his english teachers lap-top and hid it in the drop ceiling, when she came in the room she counted to 3...then called the office and had administration come up. When the VP got there he gave a song and dance so my buddy just said it was him so he wouldnt have to listen to the dudes annoying aass bitching, then he got suspended
Apr 7 2008 9:50PM
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comeatmebro
Posts: 10720 - Karma: 66
best i got is the band teacher/my study hall teacher is a badass. he has come to our parties on a regular basis and i have went blunt for blunt with the guy. he has got me some dank ass weed for cheap as shit, and usually buys us beer. he is fucking awesome.

lets see here what else...

oh our english 9 teacher used to be a huge pot head and gets fucking hammered every weekend. one time we saw him at our sunoco and like 2 a.m. and were like yo what's up watkins? and he said oh not much boys just fucking wasted as hell. (all slurred and shit) then he goes oh whatever you do, don't drink and drive it is fucking horrible. i just do it cause i am BADASS....BAD MOTHERFUCKIN ASS!!! (again slurred and shit) and then got in his car, went in reverse on accident then put it in drive and hauled ass outta there. it was hilarious. we asked him about it that monday but he was like idk what you're talking about there guys with a big ass smile on his face.


that's all i can think of...
Apr 7 2008 10:11PM
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potato_man
Posts: 2158 - Karma: 89
omg such a funny thread.....
Apr 11 2008 9:45PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,272
my math teacher ripped ass so bad the whole class left the room for like 20 minutes

i also had a kid pass out in my class and the teacher just laughed at him
Apr 11 2008 9:54PM
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