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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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ErryB
Posts: 138 - Karma: 1,685
*waiting in ski lift*
gaper snowboarder- "shit that dude has powder skis"
me-"no they're not powder skis, they're only 91 underfoot"
gaper snowboarder-"yeah i have no idea what that means"

And another one, with just me chillen in the park and a family came over, so they were talking about which jump to hit and then the father goes, "just hit the one on the far right thats the smallest" (there was only two jumps and the "jump" they were referring to was the knuckle) i was looked at them and thought major gaper, they were also in the intermediate terrain park and not the beginner park which had small jumps, rollers and boxes
Oct 12 2013 2:55AM
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Kris_H.
Posts: 1 - Karma: 8
undefined
Oct 15 2013 1:19AM
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John18_6
Posts: 7313 - Karma: 49,168
I was watching mutiny at school on my iPad right at the part where clayton goes over the fence to the huge down rail, this kid walks up to me and says "Woah! Is that you?" I'm just like- "yeah. Obviously."
Oct 15 2013 10:10AM
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617freeskier
Posts: 544 - Karma: 71
I get "do ya'll rent goggles" in the shop all the time...



Oct 15 2013 1:08PM
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Laurent.
Posts: 10056 - Karma: 25,311
I know shops that rent out goggles, hell those even rent out jackets and socks.
Oct 16 2013 1:21PM
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patt.
Posts: 598 - Karma: 1,272
A trail merges with a uphill trail and my friend does a 360 on the lip where the trails merge. He gets yelled at some the race team coach. I see the coach later in the lift line and he is talking to his team and says, "Did you see that clown, he did an efffin helicopter and didn't even look uphill (The uphill trail was closed and there was grass and rocks sticking out of it). I think I'm gonna pull his lift ticket!"

Btw can the race team coach actually pull your ticket?
Oct 16 2013 2:26PM
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SFB
Posts: 8895 - Karma: 26,358
just beat up the race coach and take HIS ticket.
Oct 16 2013 2:45PM
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ikindalikeskiing
Posts: 1381 - Karma: 142
haha threads for laters
Oct 16 2013 4:42PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 52146 - Karma: 168,471
"Evel Knievel himself couldn't clear that thing"


Talking about a 25-30' step down in the park
Oct 18 2013 11:35PM
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No.Quarter
Posts: 5257 - Karma: 16,966
HAHAHA


I was in line one day about a season or two ago and a little kid came up to me and asked me about my cool trick skis. I was nice to him and told him about how you can ski backward with them and how you can slide rails with them etc. Later that day I am in the park and I see the same little kid bombing toward a small box. Right as he hits it, instead of doing the gaper thing and skiing off to the side of it, he fucking sends it and completely clears the 10' box (pretty huge for a kid his size), he fucking popped off the lip and everything. He lands on his feet, and because he sent it so hard, is smashed into the ground. He gets up and throws his fists in the air and says how awesome it was. Everyone around is clapping and clicking poles when all of the sudden, his gaper dad comes up screaming "are you okay!?" He asks "WHY THE HELL DID YOU JUMP OVER THE METALS?!?". I am just standing there, still cheering the kid on and he points me out and says that I told him about sliding on the rails. His dad comes over to me and bitches me out for giving me the idea to jump over the "metals". After he is done he turns around, probably to tell his kid to never go in the park again, and his kid hits him directly in the face with a big, stinging, slushy snowball. That was the day a park skier was born and one of the greatest moments of my life.

So best gaper quote is:
"WHY THE HELL DID YOU JUMP OVER THE METALS?!?"
and a gaper dad calling the rails and boxes "metals" repeatedly.
Oct 19 2013 12:15AM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
this thread used to give me headaches
Oct 20 2013 8:36PM
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Garebear
Posts: 378 - Karma: 4,908
So I was texting my friend that is a girl that's a racer about skiing, and somehow the topic of skiing outfits came up. Here's the conversation that happened:

Me: *sends pic of me wearing ski outfit*

Friend: You look like you're melting!

Me: uh i'm kinda sagging, i guess it's a park skier thing.

Friend: Ahahahaha it's like a snowboarder outfit!

Me: ...I don't even...


Oct 20 2013 10:03PM
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TRASHTALK
Posts: 324 - Karma: 493
not a troll haha
Oct 21 2013 1:25AM
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FinBastard
Posts: 17 - Karma: 17
So last season I was visiting Ruka and at the liftline, when suddenly Mr Douchebag Sr. and Mr Douchebag Jr passed me.
"Hey! What the hell are you doing??!"
"You are not a real skier, so go back to your jumping places and that kinda shit!"
"But I need the lift to get to the fucking park"
"No you don't!"
"Yes I fucking do!"
"Well not anymore, Because the way you talked around my son!"
That bastard took my lift ticket and went to the lift. I'm never going to Ruka again!
Oct 21 2013 11:19AM
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NH_OPERATOR
Posts: 1070 - Karma: 2,883
Why would you not go take your lift ticket back from him? He has no right to do that unless hes ski-patrol or management.
Oct 21 2013 11:42AM
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FinBastard
Posts: 17 - Karma: 17
I think it's pretty hard to take the ticket back if it is snapped in half and in a garbage bin
Oct 21 2013 12:24PM
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wzrdtrx
Posts: 276 - Karma: 211
my friend asked my other friend... "rainbow trout and steelhead are the same thing, right?"

other friend says, "yeah, steelhead are just rainbow trout that go to the ocean.

first friend says, "oh, i thought they came back as salmon."


GaperQuote2k13
Oct 21 2013 12:30PM
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Bachto
Posts: 400 - Karma: 954
Your other friend actually isn't entirley wrong...thats actually pretty much the only difference.
Oct 21 2013 12:34PM
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NH_OPERATOR
Posts: 1070 - Karma: 2,883
Go sick ski patrol on him, Christ. You cant let people walk all over you like that.
Oct 21 2013 1:22PM
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heiligerherbert
Posts: 3 - Karma: 22
rape his family.

or at least make a video of him breaking your card.
Oct 21 2013 2:44PM
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wzrdtrx
Posts: 276 - Karma: 211
Are you trolling me bro?
Oct 21 2013 7:36PM
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Yaraelpoof.png
Posts: 1556 - Karma: 6,418
I saw that happen /claim. funny shit
Oct 22 2013 11:11AM
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yangumane
Posts: 1816 - Karma: 3,348
me and my friend were filming in the park. I throw a rodeo 5 tail and he does a flat 3 and some gaper with rossi alpines watched us and we had this conversation:

Gaper: you guys should learn backflips
Me and my friend: we can do backflips
Gaper: Wow. are you two pros
Me (sarcasm): yeah, I'm in X Games
Gaper: No way, that's like the Olympics right?

We skied away after that
Oct 22 2013 12:26PM
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ethanfrayne
Posts: 190 - Karma: 1,196
No aha this is my second year of park and i still look at a couple things on the thread and go "hey iv almost done that before". But defiantly try park its alot of fun im sure youll love it!
Oct 22 2013 5:23PM
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*JDBP*
Posts: 312 - Karma: 2,006
The Classic "Stairs Are So Hard In Ski Boots."
Oct 22 2013 6:32PM
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*JDBP*
Posts: 312 - Karma: 2,006
You Didn't Rock The Fucker In The Face?! Jeezus.
Oct 22 2013 6:37PM
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samhough42
Posts: 46 - Karma: 357
I was wearing twin tips so..... Gaper: how do you know which way to put those on with two sides Me: The bindings can tell you which way Gaper: they can't talk, silly goose
Oct 22 2013 6:38PM
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Iraq_Lobster
Posts: 1866 - Karma: 4,905
last year we had a picknick table feature set up and these two guys and one of their daughters who was like 7 take off there skis and put them on the lip to the feature then SIT DOWN AND EAT FUCKING LUNCH ON THE DAMN THING, we got ski patrol and the bitchedsstill wouldn't leave until patrol threatened them or some shit. Then while they were leaving they told me i can" stop crying now we are leaving"....... they win gaper and douchebags of the year
Oct 22 2013 11:41PM
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No.Quarter
Posts: 5257 - Karma: 16,966
I bet you were actually crying.


























Pussy
Oct 22 2013 11:43PM
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NH_OPERATOR
Posts: 1070 - Karma: 2,883
Why the fuck didnt you just nose tap all of their food on your way over them.
Oct 22 2013 11:55PM
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Iraq_Lobster
Posts: 1866 - Karma: 4,905
they put all there skis and poles and shit on the lip, really no way to get to them without stabbing them in the necks with our skis, which I was starting to consider......
Oct 23 2013 12:11AM
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Jacob.tooke
Posts: 21 - Karma: 140
Does anyone else find this crazy that there are 89 pages to this thread?
Oct 23 2013 1:58AM
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chacha33
Posts: 959 - Karma: 4,164
You should've gapped the table and taken their Doritos
Oct 23 2013 10:10AM
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Iraq_Lobster
Posts: 1866 - Karma: 4,905
you were there you should have done it you bitch
Oct 23 2013 5:19PM
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profa_212
Posts: 9030 - Karma: 37,817
They are hard though.....
Oct 23 2013 5:24PM
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RussellK141
Posts: 810 - Karma: 63
"Peyton Manning was born with an abundance of athletic talent because his mother took LSD while she was pregnant. Also explains his odd head shape."


Oct 23 2013 5:29PM
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ThisisLamar
Posts: 18 - Karma: 48
One of my friends works as a park worker and we convinced a gaper that he was banned from the hill
Oct 23 2013 10:02PM
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Turd.Ferguson
Posts: 1437 - Karma: 2,713
ok so i have line chronics the 2012s, and i was in copper. i dont realy care about the color and shit but this old fart comes up to me and says...

Guy:Hey l like your skis, are those the ones that you can do tricks on?

Me: Thanks, yeah they are

guy: Wow the color on it is fantastic, i love how the orange alternates on the back of them.

me: yeah i never noticed that

guy; how do you not notice that! ungrateful kids like you shouldn't have nice skis like that!

me: go choke on some viagra and fuck your wife

guy; dont make me call patrol! I will i aint scared of no rats like u!

me:kiss my ass ghandalf!

guy: PATROLL!!!!!!!!!

yeah my respect for the elderly is through the roof.
Oct 23 2013 11:03PM
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No.Quarter
Posts: 5257 - Karma: 16,966
And this thread has gone to shit again.
Oct 23 2013 11:05PM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
oh my god that's hilarious hahaha
Oct 23 2013 11:48PM
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Yaraelpoof.png
Posts: 1556 - Karma: 6,418
absolutely brutal
Oct 24 2013 12:32PM
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Yaraelpoof.png
Posts: 1556 - Karma: 6,418
#stabsnowboarders
Oct 24 2013 12:35PM
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WyattShapperd
Posts: 113 - Karma: 158
Gaper: "what's wrong with your goggles?" Me: "what do you mean?" Gaper: " they're under your helmet" Me: "yah and..." Gaper: " is the strap to short?" Me : "no" Gaper: "oh, looks pretty jib though."
Oct 28 2013 10:06PM
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ethanfrayne
Posts: 190 - Karma: 1,196
This isn't really a gaper quote but stil funny.

So I'm at lunch at my school talking to a friend about pineknobs opening day today and this kid goes "Are you the kind of skier that does jumps?" And I reply "No, just moguls."
Nov 13 2013 12:06PM
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Lemuel
Posts: 14535 - Karma: 11,045
I hear many funny things working in the ski shop at the mountain.

"Do you rent goggles? Why not, that's weird."

"Do you rent GoPros?"
Jan 5 2014 7:03PM
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starvin_marvin
Posts: 233 - Karma: 533
"this is a pretty neat snowboard park"
Jan 5 2014 9:28PM
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RobbieSimpson
Posts: 22 - Karma: 635
Dude that guy went onto that rail sideways!..
Jan 5 2014 9:38PM
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gingaskier
Posts: 623 - Karma: 263
So the other day I was standing at the top of my home mountains jump line waiting to drop-in. My friend does a 1 off of the first jump then proceeds to send a switch rodeo 5 off the second jump. As he lands, this snowboarder chick that was sitting next to the first jump shouts "He just did a backflip!" My other friend and I lost it.
Jan 5 2014 9:57PM
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McCoard
Posts: 19 - Karma: 721
Watch how far I go off this knuckle!!
Jan 5 2014 11:25PM
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