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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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ItstheTCSon
Posts: 10 - Karma: 44
I just saw a gaper bring her skis into the lodge while they were still on then I just saw her again at the bottom while I was getting a drink. She was walking across the cement with her skis on
Mar 27 2013 4:54PM
5 0
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.SeaStar
Posts: 145 - Karma: 38
thats halarios one time I saw some one doing that and still holding there poles
Mar 27 2013 5:22PM
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FIRETHECANNONS
Posts: 335 - Karma: 355
Gaper: "LOOK! theres a jump! (her kid skis by it) oh come on! you gotta be able to see those things guys!" me:*facepalm
Mar 27 2013 6:32PM
0 0
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Chinchi
Posts: 1591 - Karma: 4,211
Some guy on the lift "having to shit makes you a better skier, the puckering of the asshole leads to a looseness and limberness of the legs giving you a better range of motion"
Apr 3 2013 7:01PM
9 0
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ForeverYung
Posts: 8385 - Karma: 2,060
I was skiing with SID at stratton last weekend, and I do a backflip and he does a lincoln, then this gaper goes to his friend, "wow the both did backflips!"
Apr 3 2013 7:41PM
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shredtheworld
Posts: 11 - Karma: 42
Chooses to gape just to be in such an awesome thread
Apr 3 2013 10:36PM
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Nate.Dog
Posts: 1672 - Karma: 2,098
What the literal fuck?
Apr 3 2013 10:57PM
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*ninja*
Posts: 2108 - Karma: 1,143
His ns name is anal he must like ass
Apr 3 2013 11:45PM
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WaffleMaster
Posts: 661 - Karma: 5,565
"Why would you need to ski backwards?" -Mom
Apr 14 2013 7:31PM
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GuacamoleMane
Posts: 1421 - Karma: 2,013
May have already posted this but when i told someone i was going to ski canp he asked me if "people like shaun white would be there"
Apr 14 2013 7:44PM
0 0
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BMillerrr
Posts: 191 - Karma: 300
gaper: "can you backflip?"
me: "yes"
gaper: "cool! arent you sponsored by line?"
Apr 14 2013 9:49PM
2 0
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Eemilt
Posts: 96 - Karma: 68
Gaper: What brand are those boots?
Me: Full Tilt
Gaper: yea, but what brand?
Apr 17 2013 7:57AM
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Yaraelpoof.png
Posts: 1556 - Karma: 6,418
a gaper wanted to go in the park
Gaper: MOM I want to do that
Gaper mom: no timmy stay out of the obstacle course
Apr 17 2013 8:55AM
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steezburgereddie
Posts: 1059 - Karma: 1,945
I was hitting my backyard jump and my neighbor pulled into the driveway. She sat there as I did a couple of 3s off it. Then her husband came out of the house. She got out and started walking to the door of her house and while I was standing on top of my house about to go again I heard her say to her husband "that boys going to kill herself"
Apr 17 2013 11:05AM
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stizzle
Posts: 371 - Karma: 623
This. There is also the more rare "How hard was it to find someone with the same size foot to trade with?"
Apr 17 2013 11:41AM
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NMMedia
Posts: 982 - Karma: 1,700
"are you sponsored?"
"no"
"then why do you have stickers on your helmet?"
"because they look good"
"you know you arent allowed to have those if you arent sponsored right?"
*I proceed to leave*
Apr 17 2013 11:55AM
11 1
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werd.
Posts: 967 - Karma: 4,330
That's exactly how my school is!!
Apr 17 2013 12:04PM
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Doke
Posts: 185 - Karma: 401
I was talking to my friend in class and some gaper chick came up to us and said "Wow, you guys can do like flips and stuff? I went over a box once and almost died". We proceeded with our conversation as if nothing happened.
Apr 17 2013 12:14PM
3 0
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werd.
Posts: 967 - Karma: 4,330
Gaper in my graphics class last year who claims to snowboard says

"skiings for faggots, when I snowboard I hit the rail so fast that I only have to tap my board on the rail"

he also said

"there aren't even any real tricks in skiing. Don't try to tell me crossing your skis is a trick"

Apr 17 2013 12:47PM
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Byron_tha_gr8
Posts: 4573 - Karma: 14,299
quoting for all time greatness
Apr 17 2013 4:53PM
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steezburgereddie
Posts: 1059 - Karma: 1,945
I can't stand people that do things just because everyone says its cooler
Apr 17 2013 5:27PM
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Mag
Posts: 8155 - Karma: 14,809
MUCH appreciated, if that's true that's awesome haha, would have missed that.
Apr 19 2013 6:01AM
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GapCrow
Posts: 37 - Karma: 99
cool guy overall friend of mine, this happened at class: Gaper: oh, can you 360? Me: yeah G: really? M: yeah G: but like backwards or forwards? M: what? ** he starts making the motion with his fingers, spinning one over the other backwards and forward ** M: you mean a backflip and a frontflip? G: yeah M: well then no i can't G: oh, i guess a 360 for you is just spining like this **starts with the finger motions again** M: well it's not like if i am the only who calls it that, but yeah, thats what a 360 is couldn't hel but crack laughing, but he was cool with it gotta love this guy
Apr 24 2013 5:28AM
12 1
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GapCrow
Posts: 37 - Karma: 99
cool guy overall friend of mine, this happened at class: Gaper: oh, can you 360? Me: yeah G: really? M: yeah G: but like backwards or forwards? M: what? ** he starts making the motion with his fingers, spinning one over the other backwards and forward ** M: you mean a backflip and a frontflip? G: yeah M: well then no i can't G: oh, i guess a 360 for you is just spining like this **starts with the finger motions again** M: well it's not like if i am the only who calls it that, but yeah, thats what a 360 is couldn't help but crack laughing, but he was cool with it... and yeah, he was pretty right when a backflip is a 360 in it's essence gotta love this guy
Apr 24 2013 5:30AM
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e~b
Posts: 861 - Karma: 2,735
there was this one time me and my friend were hiking this t rail and these 3 girls put there skis on the rail, stand on the rail, then clip in and slide down it. they would not leave

May 31 2013 12:15PM
2 0
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Brule.
Posts: 3920 - Karma: 6,206
I have had my SPK Kaos boots for two seasons and i keep getting asked the same question
May 31 2013 3:50PM
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kung_powpow
Posts: 1990 - Karma: 3,671
So basically your saying you turned down the opportunity to proho a 3some
May 31 2013 4:05PM
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Naptown
Posts: 495 - Karma: 1,722
Here it is, at about 1:00
May 31 2013 5:05PM
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cameron_taylor
Posts: 325 - Karma: 446
So I have two gaper stories, one about my own mother, and one about some lady on a chairlift next to me.

So basically my mate had just bought himself a new pair of poles at the beginning of the season (Panda Poles) made from bamboo. Me, my parents and my mate's father were sitting in a restaurant, while my mate was still outside putting his skis on the rack. this is how the conversation went:
My mum: So what's the deal with those bamboo poles?
My mates dad (joking of course): Oh yeah, those, well basically when you go off piste, and say get stranded for the night, you can burn them so that you keep warm.
My mum (totally convinced): Ah okay, they would probably also give off smoke signals as well so it could help the ski patrollers find you. That's a great idea right there.
Me and my dad were just in hysterics, my mate explained they were just for decoration later on when he came in.
The second story was from when I was in Courchevel and I was on a four-seater with some woman. I don't remember the exact conversation she had with her daughter but i think i heard my favorite ever gaper quote: "we have to leave early again today, I need to take my skis into the shop to get them dried out."
I ignored her and correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think you get your skis dried out:
A) by a shop
B) at all
I just had to ignore her and put up with the rest of her babbling nonsense for the remainder of the journey.
Jun 6 2013 6:52AM
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Tyler.A
Posts: 164 - Karma: 338
(on the chair)
me "do you like snowboarding"
him "yea its fun but really scary when you are going like 30 mph with only like a piece of plywood between you feet"
me "yea i know bro"
Jun 6 2013 10:41AM
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Maruchan
Posts: 206 - Karma: 1,582
I was skiing late season A Basin last weekend and these gapers on the chairlift sitting next to me were talking about the pond skim. One said "wow there is a lot of standing water there, that looks pretty dangerous" then his friend replied with "yeah, they should really put some snow in there and cover that up so nobody gets hurt"
Jun 6 2013 2:44PM
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MKeller91
Posts: 153 - Karma: 219
every time I ride my pow skis, surface One Lifes, I get 10 comments a day on how my skis are snapped broken bent and so on. Also heard a kid tell his friend that the rocker on them was water skiing.
http://images.the-house.com/surface-onelife-ski-11-1-zoom.jpg
Oct 9 2013 9:26PM
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humpty
Posts: 1190 - Karma: 3,162
I was on my way walking out of my mountain one night on the pavement and some chick came ripping on to the pavement in front of me and completely face planted. I didn't know what to do so I hoped she was OK and kept going
Oct 9 2013 9:54PM
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No.Quarter
Posts: 5257 - Karma: 16,962
Do you happen to know what day this was? Me and my friend overheard a similar conversation and were saying shit like that all day. We were dressed as gapers too so it could have been us.
Oct 9 2013 10:03PM
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Plankton
Posts: 3226 - Karma: 6,840
i get this so much at school wearing a saga crew
Oct 9 2013 10:15PM
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Kvsh
Posts: 9 - Karma: 31
Saw one walking through our food area. Guy remined me of th retard from office space a bit. His shirt had ' punters are people too'. Not sure quite what was going on there but I was cracking up.
Oct 9 2013 10:34PM
1 1
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lkhmmr
Posts: 14 - Karma: 68
I heard a dad tell his son at the halfpipe at Stowe last year "You should go do a trick in that stunt ditch"
Oct 9 2013 10:35PM
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Maruchan
Posts: 206 - Karma: 1,582
I know it wasn't on the official gaper day (april 1). I think it was probably pretty close to june 1st or 2nd, or maybe the weekend before that. They sounded pretty convincing and I'm pretty sure they were actual gapers (rental skis/boots was kind of a give away).
Oct 9 2013 11:50PM
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TRASHTALK
Posts: 324 - Karma: 493
Girl approaches me and my friend taking pictures at big air finals at x games a two years back in Aspen. (She is drunk, and wearing uggs and a miniskirt, while it is easily one of the coldest nights of the whole competition.) Girl to me, "Are you sponsored by Saga?" I proceed to look at my friend and almost die laughing. Me to girl, "Why do you ask?" Girl says, "Well you're wearing a saga jacket, and you have one of those Canon cameras." Me to girl, "hahaha, really?" Girl exclaims, "Yes." I looked at her and said, "No we are not sponsored by Saga, and if we were, we probably wouldn't be standing here with everyone else. How old are you anyways?" Girl shouts, "15, well you didn't have to be so rude jackass, I was going to sleep with you." She then proceeds to walk away with her high-top osiris clad friends. I literally almost pissed everywhere when it happened.
Oct 10 2013 2:34AM
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pow_pow~
Posts: 1429 - Karma: 1,804
not sure if troll or just retarded.
Oct 10 2013 4:20AM
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John18_6
Posts: 7313 - Karma: 49,163
I'm sure we've all been called pro by non-skier friends... But my favorite quote that I here all the time is when a gaper is trying to record their run with a gopro and at the top of the run they keep asking me "Bro, is it blinking?" I'm Just like "yeah, but next time you should take your helmet off to check."
Oct 10 2013 12:42PM
2 0
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humpty
Posts: 1190 - Karma: 3,162
gaper at my school told me he was gonna get a "seasonal blend" coat. yesterday he asked me if i could bigspin on skis.
Oct 10 2013 8:38PM
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skiersupreme
Posts: 1549 - Karma: 4,872
lets hit the terrain park
do you have any granola bars?
*while wearing gopro..... am i going?
Oct 10 2013 10:41PM
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LoathesRaisins
Posts: 3612 - Karma: 4,735
This little kid always follows me around. He could find somebody way more interesting to follow around.
Oct 10 2013 10:43PM
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LoathesRaisins
Posts: 3612 - Karma: 4,735
This little kid always follows me around. He could find somebody way more interesting to follow around.
Oct 10 2013 10:43PM
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deepfriedtwinkie
Posts: 434 - Karma: 389
While in the gondola in aspen an old man was listening to music in his dre beats ear buds. He proceeded to have a conversation with my friends and I about "Dr. Dred" and how wonderful his headphones are. I lost it mid conversation.
Oct 10 2013 10:49PM
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tgm
Posts: 278 - Karma: 325
"where do you keep the moguls in the summer?"
Oct 11 2013 8:50AM
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jack22-2
Posts: 16 - Karma: 61
are you guys open in the summer?

my resort is in southern PA btw

i also enjoy when it starts to snow everyone asking if that is the snowmakers. yes we have snowmakers in the sky
Oct 11 2013 2:06PM
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JayMobilia
Posts: 108 - Karma: 571
Snowboarder says to Me "I snowboard because skiing is too easy." He can't slide a rail on either..
Oct 11 2013 8:55PM
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.mnr.
Posts: 324 - Karma: 772
gaper: are you one of those skiers that dresses like snowboarders?
me: lolwut
Oct 11 2013 11:36PM
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