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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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RagingBuffalo
Posts: 143 - Karma: 151
*Name drops drastically different countries, attempting to not be offensive and simply say middle eastern*
Feb 26 2013 3:06PM
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TotalNan
Posts: 147 - Karma: 339
An asian guy at the bottom of the hill was trying to put his skis on backwards... like the toe into the heel piece and heel into the toe piece. He was totally serious.

I've also gotten "When do we jump off the lift" (I'm a ski instructor) so I guess it's kinda understandable... but not really
Feb 26 2013 3:09PM
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Dz_Nutz
Posts: 81 - Karma: 34
Lol gapers

Gaper-"wow! I just got 2 feet of air"
Other gaper-"no way!!!"

Us-*facepalm* *hit real jump*

Gapers-"................."

Lol true story
Feb 26 2013 7:55PM
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TroyAntipasta
Posts: 444 - Karma: 535
Gaper: hi
Me & friend; yoyo
Gaper: wow look at your skis and camera you must be pro!!
Me and friend: uh... Sure
Gaper; im from ethopia btw
Feb 26 2013 9:40PM
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*ninja*
Posts: 2108 - Karma: 1,143
cus they dont have money for gear only realistic reason
Feb 26 2013 10:07PM
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Garrettchall
Posts: 51 - Karma: 52
So I was at alta waiting in line to get on the lift, (I have the 2012 tst and they have an Indian on them) this huge gaper that got paired with me because he was a single says " Woah! Is that Albert Einstein? Me:" ummm, no that is an Indian." After about a minute of gazing at my skis he asks " well, do you know what ranking it is? You can usually tell by the feathers on its headdress." I just sat there and didnt say anything because he was SO annoying. "I'm pretty sure that it is a hunter, wait no! It is a cheiff! No it's a food gatherer." This went on for about five more minutes then he asks "Can you ski backwards?" I wanted to face palm my brains out!!!
Feb 27 2013 12:04AM
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JIB_WALRUS
Posts: 671 - Karma: 130
A gaper dad in the park the other day informed some 6-8 year old kids that you cant hit rails on skis. i lol'd
Feb 27 2013 12:12AM
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BoomSkier
Posts: 305 - Karma: 17
-asian man approaching me while workin liftie on the cable tow-

"so what is the primary intended purpose of the use of these"-he says as he gestures towards the ski poles in his hand...

...idk brah...to throw at gapers?
Feb 27 2013 12:50AM
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Dr.Gonzo
Posts: 2552 - Karma: 87
"Do you guys do inverted shit" -some liquored eastern european at Mount st. Louis.
Feb 27 2013 12:53AM
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.hardwood.
Posts: 69 - Karma: -66
Biggest poser gaper with antigens full tilts and the tightest saga Durtschi pro sees my friend do a 9 an goes to his mom wow did u see tht kid do a helicopter he must be a pro.....
Feb 27 2013 8:40AM
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redking
Posts: 148 - Karma: 437
"I hate snowboarders they're such dicks!"
10 mins later.....
"I wanna' try snowboarding, it looks so cool!
Feb 27 2013 10:33AM
1 0
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roddy116
Posts: 10630 - Karma: 7,456
i got yelled at by a father with a child saying that he and his daughter were in line for the tow rope... there is no line for a tow rope.
Feb 27 2013 1:47PM
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MKeller91
Posts: 153 - Karma: 219
Standing at top of park calling my run
Gaper son to Gaper dad: Dad I saw him spin off a jump!
Me: Look opposite direction.
Gaper dad: Wow do you do grinds too?
Me: Yeah.
Gaper dad: Can you teach me?
Me: (Look down at his jeans and 15 year K2 rental skis)... I would't advise it.
Feb 28 2013 1:03AM
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Tikayt
Posts: 1031 - Karma: 1,543
Yesterday, at the end of the day when everybody goes home through the same piste, I nose butter 5 on some kind of hump, land switch (quite obvious for us) and a man/ dad passes by so close, nearly crashed into me, he got scared more than I did and yelled:

Dad: "why the fuck are you skiing backwards, look in front of you"

I was like, "wait, are you that stupid ? where do you think i'am looking ass hole".
Feb 28 2013 2:50AM
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Afronaut
Posts: 190 - Karma: 558
two 9 year old Gaper Kids in the Park Base: Do you ride Park?
we: yes?
them: oh cool do you have cigarretes?

Later That day:
we building a tree jib and recognize that we need some water: can anyone get some water?
The two kids: If you give us cigarettes we will do!

Mar 3 2013 1:35PM
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fennjack
Posts: 286 - Karma: 131
"Excuse me but what is the trick to taking skis off."
Mar 3 2013 2:04PM
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sNaubi
Posts: 1633 - Karma: 2,357
"watch your fucking turns, other people ski here to , don't ski all over the place and block the way!"
Mar 3 2013 2:58PM
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TRASHTALK
Posts: 324 - Karma: 493
watching xgames skiing big air final last year. My friend and I are both wearing different Saga jackets. He's got a nice cannon camera and is taking pictures. A girl approaches us extremely drunk...

Gaper girl: "Um excuse me I have a question."
Me: "Uhhh, yes?"
Gaper girl: "Do you guys ride for Saga"
Me: "No" (lol)
Gaper girl: "Oh, cause you guys totally look super pro"
Me: "How so?"
Gaper girl: "Well you're taking pictures and wearing saga jackets, so I thought you were riders for them."
Me: "We, don't ride, we ski."
Gaper girl: "You're an asshole"
Me: "I'm sorry?" (Turn around and start laughing)
Mar 3 2013 5:53PM
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YouAllSuck
Posts: 632 - Karma: 1,177
I overheard some guy telling his kids "you have to open the ski before you can get your boot in" I saw him flipping up the heal piece of their bindings, then struggling to help them get there skis on with the heel piece flipped up.

My grandma one time asked me if I could do a "circle thingy" off a jump, I eventually figured out she meant a 360
Mar 3 2013 10:15PM
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J-T
Posts: 269 - Karma: 697
A group of park rats were on the 2 lifts ahead of me at Lutsen, which is the closest thing MN has to an actual mountain. The 2 on the lift in front turned to the 2 behind them (the chair in front of me) and shouted, "This lift is too long and gay! Let's go hit the park!" Then getting off the lift, one of the tools fell over, much to my joy.
Mar 3 2013 10:42PM
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rozboon
Posts: 1642 - Karma: 868

Pretty sure if you had lied just a little bit you coulda laid yourself a pro-ho.

Just saying.

Mar 4 2013 4:39PM
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milk_man
Posts: 5252 - Karma: 5,983

Gaper: nice spinny thing! or alright lets see that backflip! or can you do a backflip?

Mar 4 2013 6:28PM
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TheBist
Posts: 187 - Karma: 33
Ok so I was at my local hill and I was in the park and I hit a down box sideways and did a little 270 shuffle thing off and some gaper dad over to me after I stop and says:

Gaper: "Hey son, you better watch out, that was not proper form on the table. You are supposed to go straight"

Me: "Nah dude I am pretty sure it was fine"

Gaper: "Son, let me show you how to hit a table properly"

Me: "Ok?"

The gaper then proceeds to hit a flat box straight and slide off and land directly on his side.

Gaper: "WHEW! That was gnarly!"

*FACEPALM*
Mar 4 2013 8:05PM
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AndyGreen
Posts: 827 - Karma: 61
shoulda banged her
Mar 4 2013 8:22PM
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Slingshot_kid
Posts: 15 - Karma: 24
On Chair lift
Gaper-  Woah those must be those tip twins
Me- twin tips.
Gaper- No. tip twins i already asked for them for Christmas.
Mar 4 2013 9:31PM
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Slingshot_kid
Posts: 15 - Karma: 24
"Those skis must be so fast on the sand here in the summer."
 Some teen gaper said this to me. All i could do was shake my head.
Mar 4 2013 9:35PM
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*ninja*
Posts: 2108 - Karma: 1,143
gaper: thats a cool coat wered you get it?
me: the toilet store.
Mar 4 2013 9:55PM
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Chinchi
Posts: 1591 - Karma: 4,211
"See this helmet? The music plays right through it! It's made by a company called dread beats, named after doctor dread! It's really neat!"
Mar 4 2013 9:58PM
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SterlingArcher
Posts: 2200 - Karma: 2,456
Lol'd hard. Classic
Mar 5 2013 1:49AM
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raymondcabral
Posts: 747 - Karma: 1,094
Not really a gaper quote but one day At sunapee, they made 2 stepups that gapers used to roll over alot bigger and vertical on the other side so my freind and I spent the whole day wtachin gapers yard sale on it. it was so funny.

Mar 5 2013 9:58PM
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sNaubi
Posts: 1633 - Karma: 2,357
This thread is now called "Retarded stuff gapers say and do"
Mar 6 2013 2:13AM
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DILLINGER
Posts: 970 - Karma: 1,102
Threads, these are all really good tips! They've helped me make loads of friends in the park, keep 'em coming guys!
Mar 6 2013 9:21AM
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Robski97
Posts: 66 - Karma: 306
i got yelled at for jumping over a a snow making hose by a random ass person.
"they made the trail shitty by putting the moguls on it"
How do they make moguls?"
"woah nice heli!"
Mar 6 2013 10:21AM
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chacha33
Posts: 959 - Karma: 4,163
There was a park crew guy who took out two rails at my local mountain and he was sitting on the little jumps in front of them to make sure no on tried to hit them. We were standing there talking to him about what they were gonna put in when a little gaper rolled up. He asked what we were doing and the park crew guy immediately responded with "We are gonna put in a loop-de-loop, and you have to try it if you stay here." The little kids dad showed up then and the park crew guy said "and thats why you should do crack." just as the dad rolled up. There was a little fight and then the gapers kept going. Good shit
Mar 6 2013 11:27AM
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Lemuel
Posts: 14490 - Karma: 10,634
Snow making hoses have enough pressure in them to kill you if they get slit. I don't think the person yelling at you was a gaper.
Mar 6 2013 4:43PM
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theschneidler
Posts: 2099 - Karma: 355
yeah don't mess with hoses, or snowmaking in general. It is srs_business
Mar 6 2013 5:02PM
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*TURBONERD*
Posts: 15081 - Karma: 9,158
The best part of Sunapee is seeing gapers get just a little air off the first part of the whale tail box then double eject when the hit the end of it.
Mar 8 2013 3:39PM
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Swanktopolis
Posts: 65 - Karma: 45
At a rail jam at UNBC, my friend and I were waiting in a food line, and an east Indian lady was beside us in line, so she looks down at his FT Booters and asks "What kind of shoes are those?"
Mar 8 2013 3:53PM
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TheTristanator
Posts: 1015 - Karma: 820
showed one of my edits to a buddy of mine on my soccer team, he said "is it extra points if you tap that?"

Mar 11 2013 1:31AM
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WaffleMaster
Posts: 661 - Karma: 5,565
Black kid from my school who I saw at a small hill on a snow day: "whoa are those skiing shoes? Nice skiing shoes!" (My boots)

"Are those terrain park skis?"

"Snowboarding is for tricks, skiing is for people going on vacation" (can be true)
Mar 11 2013 1:54AM
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B.Quincy
Posts: 1074 - Karma: 963
I was at carinthia this weekend and I was with my friend and we got paired up with these two freaks Whoa there's like jumps and and stuff'! Ya it's the whole area It's so cool do you like go of the rail things?! No I grind them Can u do a back flip?!? I just ignore them
Mar 11 2013 1:43PM
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J-C
Posts: 1138 - Karma: 3,683
this gaper was trying to convince me that sliding a rail sideway on skis was called a boardslide and told me that he did a ''90on 270in'' and yes he said it in that order
Mar 11 2013 8:55PM
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Kebec
Posts: 627 - Karma: 74
"I TOLD YOU NOT TO GO!"
Mar 11 2013 9:21PM
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Nate.Dog
Posts: 1672 - Karma: 2,098
winning ^
Mar 11 2013 9:35PM
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joriza.ski
Posts: 1652 - Karma: 2,170
*wearing SPKs from 2011*

Why are you wearing two differwnt boots
Mar 14 2013 11:11PM
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bolecarrettski
Posts: 2 - Karma: 8
Gaper: Can you like, ski backwards?
Mar 15 2013 6:33AM
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maximiliaan
Posts: 7711 - Karma: 2,857
haha can someone post that video?
Mar 15 2013 7:11AM
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Peachbutt
Posts: 623 - Karma: 601
I love when this thread gets bumped.

Kid rides up over the lip, stops on the knuckle, brings his ski up and grabs his tail, says 'tail grab' to himself, skis down. Me and my buddies on the lift lost our shit.
Mar 15 2013 7:27AM
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JTTrembles
Posts: 1108 - Karma: 1,907
"They're crazy! They're just going to break their necks!" I've heard that one a few times.
Mar 15 2013 8:03AM
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