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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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The_Beekeeper
Posts: 843 - Karma: 302
how is he an asshole?
Oct 5 2012 8:35PM
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WillieFat
Posts: 73 - Karma: 52
This one is one of my favorites lol
Oct 6 2012 12:16PM
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bgeskior
Posts: 463 - Karma: 1,552
Click for larger image
Oct 7 2012 10:28PM
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Byron_tha_gr8
Posts: 4573 - Karma: 14,299
hahaha what a boss
Oct 8 2012 12:04PM
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D-Neuf
Posts: 59 - Karma: 21
Haha that's great!
Oct 8 2012 1:00PM
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450out.
Posts: 596 - Karma: 517
Here's my gaper friend:
Click for larger image
After a morning in the park (he can't do shit. He knuckled a 3ft baby table) he said he wanted to go to the chalet and buy lunch. I said fine cause i guess thats reasonable enough. He gos inside and removes EVERY piece of ski gear he has on. It took him like 10 minutes. His shits scattered everywhere. He has on this youth size xs ski shirt on (hes about 5' 11")
gaper: I got this shirt for skiing every triple black diamond backcountry run. (I can't remember what he said. Alaska or some stupid shit like that.) I didnt like it too much cause the lifts take to long to get to the top and the snow is too deep.
Me: You have no fucking idea what you're talking about do you.
gaper: Yeah. Im as good as you.
Me: well. back to the park. (as i leave him standing there in his socks and long johns)

And yeah. Thats a scarf.
Oct 12 2012 2:18AM
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BigBadWolf
Posts: 2000 - Karma: 432
One sick fucking scarf if you ask me.
Oct 12 2012 3:02AM
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Fluttershy
Posts: 586 - Karma: 763
him: "i hope the clouds come out and it gets colder so the water evaporates out of the snow and it turns into powder"
me: you do know that if it gets colder all that would do is freeze the water in the snow right?
him: "well i suppose you would know"

/wrists. god damn people are stupid
Oct 12 2012 4:51AM
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HANNERTALL_420
Posts: 207 - Karma: 189
Click for larger image

This picture depicts two gaperus maximus' sitting on a chaillift ill dressed for the weather as you can tell they have doned rained pants and have no neck/face protection from the elements. As well the gaper furthest from the camera thinks that in this skiing environment, he will be accepted into the skiing culture by wearing Oakleys (Shaun whites signature). Both are sporting the gaper gap and the one furthest away is holding poles that are too big and are equipped with powder baskets on a mountain with no fresh snow at any point in the season. Upon this discovery that these two (although nice people) people were the largest gapers ever, Yumpytrain and I bestowed it upon ourselves to make these two as steezy as possible, we have made no progress
Oct 12 2012 2:30PM
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450out.
Posts: 596 - Karma: 517
hahaha i remember this. Ill try and find more
Oct 12 2012 6:11PM
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ohboy
Posts: 1177 - Karma: 2,528
At school today:


So I said something about how my friend tore his ACL, and how it is a pretty common injury for skiing.

Him: "ACL's don't matter at all for skiing."

*facepalm*

Me: "Hey Jared, where is the ACL located?"

Him: "In your calf."

*double facepalm*
Oct 17 2012 10:39PM
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crieschl
Posts: 644 - Karma: 108
Playing Shredsauce in school, I did a 180 (landing switch , and the kid sitting next to me says "that's so much harder in real life" I'm like "what? landing backwards?" "Yeah, I mean I know a few people can do it, but It's pretty ridiculous"

Oct 17 2012 11:14PM
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Wulfty
Posts: 344 - Karma: 1,876
I was once called a satanist for riding "devil sticks" by a snowboarder once
Oct 18 2012 8:04PM
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whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,103
i just heard the classic black diamond line today.
'he's ballsy as hell! he doesn't ski well and he went down a BLACK DIAMOND."
Oct 19 2012 12:07AM
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Wulfty
Posts: 344 - Karma: 1,876
Last gaper day some guy was just following people around shouting "SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE" before cutting them off and making them eat shit. It was pretty fucking hilarious
Oct 19 2012 12:42AM
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Hewbird
Posts: 151 - Karma: 174
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apNKEhdokKM
Oct 19 2012 9:09AM
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ejm
Posts: 794 - Karma: 196
Classic^
Oct 19 2012 9:43AM
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Jelle
Posts: 337 - Karma: 715
Since its almost winter me and some of my classmates are talking about skiing ect. And then one of my friends comes up to me and says (He does parkour and has never been on skis in his entire life)

Him: I bet i can do a backflip first try on skis.
Me and the others: Dude, you have never even been on skis before?
Him: No, but i can do a backflip on the ground, doing it on a pair of planks cant be that hard.
Me and the others: ........

We just didn't want to discuss that anymore lol..


Oct 19 2012 11:37AM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
I'm willing to bed that he COULD do a backflip first try, as long as he could hit the jump straight at the right speed. There is literally no skill involved in doing a backflip on skis, just proper speed and commitment, and if he already is comfortable doing flips, he probably wouldn't pussy out.
Oct 19 2012 11:41AM
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Senor_Goat
Posts: 214 - Karma: 104
Are you gonna do a backflip on your twin-tippers?
Oct 19 2012 1:27PM
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Plankton
Posts: 3226 - Karma: 6,840
theres this gaper in my school, and for a class trip we went on a 3 night hiking trip. on the first day, the kid brought an extra large  glass jar of salsa for lunch, and when he got to the top of the mountain screamed "HELL YEAH" and chucked his backpack down on a rock. the salsa jar broke and for the remainder of the trip his sleeping bag/clothes were soaked with salsa. the kid was in my room that night, and he couldn't go to sleep because he was essentially swimming in a sleeping bag of salsa.
Oct 19 2012 9:01PM
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Plankton
Posts: 3226 - Karma: 6,840
my little brother just said "im a steez"
Oct 19 2012 9:16PM
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Nacho+
Posts: 3748 - Karma: 7,791
when ever im in the park...."Do a tripple!!"
Oct 20 2012 6:16PM
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Plankton
Posts: 3226 - Karma: 6,840
spk's
Oct 20 2012 10:45PM
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funkykid200
Posts: 81 - Karma: 16
my friend talking to a gaper he knows

friend- i will sell you my old armada jacket for $50
gaper- i dont need it, i have a lot of jackets
friend- what jackets do you have?
gaper- my parent have a lot from when they were kids

----later in the conversation

gaper- have you heard of aspen?
friend- yeah
gaper- do you know if it is any good?
haha
----------------------------------------------
classic ones:

i dont like that run because the snow is to deep (nice powder day)
Oct 21 2012 1:36AM
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funkykid200
Posts: 81 - Karma: 16
snowboarding looks easier because there is only one thing
Oct 21 2012 1:43AM
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funkykid200
Posts: 81 - Karma: 16
not a quote but a funny gaper story-

i was riding the T-bar behind 2 kids, one of them dropped his pole, when he tried to reach back to get it he dropped the other. i had to pick them up.
Oct 21 2012 1:48AM
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roddy116
Posts: 10627 - Karma: 7,423
i was doing some diving at a pool, there were a bunch of elder people, eveything i did i heard a little HUHHH or shock type thing, it made me lol inside.
Oct 21 2012 2:04AM
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Plankton
Posts: 3226 - Karma: 6,840
hahaha nick i think that was me
Oct 21 2012 10:42AM
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steezebucket
Posts: 17 - Karma: 10
When i was pretty young my brother and my dad took a trip to some resort in Wisconsin They had one black about the equivalent of a blue anywhere else. We were told by a group of people it needed a separate waiver to go down because they and deaths and so many injuries. I was six at the time and even i laughed.
Oct 21 2012 6:01PM
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BigBadWolf
Posts: 2000 - Karma: 432
lol hai garrett
Oct 21 2012 10:36PM
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PartyHon
Posts: 2019 - Karma: 425
there was a kid at a party that had a free-skier looking shirt on (dont remember the look of it or most of the night). anyways i abandoned the idea of asking where chads gap existed so i threw out "so you're an NSer?" and he responded "Nah man I ski for fun"

not necessarily a gaper but i raffed
Oct 21 2012 11:21PM
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ejm
Posts: 794 - Karma: 196
iv'e run across a few skiers who without a second thought i'd assume was a ns, but they end up having no idea what im talking about.
Oct 21 2012 11:55PM
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Byron_tha_gr8
Posts: 4573 - Karma: 14,299
Spent all last year working at arizona snowbowl, with 3 good pow days. The first day had 11 inches of fresh and it was still dumping. This lady sees me in my instructors coat and asks where she can get a refund. I point her to guest services, but she decides to explain to me that it hasn't once in the last 10 years she has been skiing here, it is supposed to snow at night then be sunny (it was puking all day). I try to convince her that a foot of light and dry can be fun, she then calls over her husband. He has some old volants and says they don't make skis for days like this (i'm holding my Gotmas), grabs his wife, and presumably leaves. never got their refund...
Oct 22 2012 2:15AM
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skiing_nick
Posts: 45 - Karma: 48
gaper- do you live here?
me-yep
gaper-wait there like a school here?
me- ...yes
gaper- wow really?! how do you get weed and stuff
me- laugh *get on chairlift and dont look back*
Nov 6 2012 1:15PM
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S.Ki
Posts: 2221 - Karma: 3,633
Not really a quote but this really happend. Here is the video.
This is a little park i ride when i dont want to drive all the way to the bigger resorts and there are Gapers all over the place. The look my little brother throws into the camera at 1.28 makes it so much better.


Nov 29 2012 5:05AM
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jcc03skis
Posts: 1002 - Karma: 1,020
lol, and 2013 bump.
Jan 6 2013 12:37AM
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Nacho+
Posts: 3748 - Karma: 7,791
me: Ya, we got a foot of snow!
Her: We got so much that you couldn't even move when you went into teh woods, it was like up to my shins!!
Jan 6 2013 12:40AM
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ilikedolphins
Posts: 129 - Karma: 120
+k für steibis
Jan 6 2013 11:31AM
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Lukegnar
Posts: 189 - Karma: 1,239
I was on the lift and there was a packastan iran looking guy, typical loaded indian doctor first time skiing, and he fell, and i was like are you alright. and He replied in a Indian accent, " I trip on a black dimond." and at the top i laughed alot.
Jan 6 2013 2:20PM
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Supergyro
Posts: 797 - Karma: 36
That is such an awesome edit. So damn funny. +k
Jan 6 2013 4:23PM
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SkierPT
Posts: 2177 - Karma: 4,720
The other day me and my bro are riding up the lift with a single rider and me and bro are talking about the new park set up. He says "there's some huge jumps on the yodler, you should go check them out". Yodler is a black diamond and the "jumps" we're 30 foot tall mounds made from snowmaking one every 20 yards or so lmao. So funny
Jan 6 2013 4:31PM
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Jabe
Posts: 567 - Karma: 240
A few days ago one of my friends asked me while skiing if there was a machine that could turn snow into powder.
Jan 6 2013 4:37PM
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noreasterprod
Posts: 578 - Karma: 606
saw a kid claim it so hard on a 4 foot long down box after he hit it straight
Jan 6 2013 4:39PM
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noreasterprod
Posts: 578 - Karma: 606
Also, one time I asked my friend who is a total gape what his favorite thing to do in the park was..he said "get big air off the jumps to the rails"
Jan 6 2013 4:40PM
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JahLiam
Posts: 2321 - Karma: 7,828
Some snowboarding dad to his skiing kid- what do you think is cooler snowboarding or skiing?
Kid-skiing
Dad- *laughs* no I don't think so son, snowboarding is cooler
Jan 6 2013 5:22PM
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percs
Posts: 2280 - Karma: 5,788
Midwest gets snow?
Jan 6 2013 6:25PM
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WoodyHD
Posts: 2 - Karma: 11
Was on the lift with a father and son the other day. The son asked his pa how the moguls were made and his old man went on about some machine he think he saw once that they use to make em. Was trying to hard not to crack up laughing.
Jan 6 2013 6:33PM
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TheDetectives
Posts: 634 - Karma: 1,472
gaper (with tom boots): can u do a backwards onto the flat box?
me:.... ya
Gaper: DO IT! (he was excited)
me: i proceed to "do backwards onto the flat box" and hike back up
gaper: Do u have a Newschoolers?
me: Ya.......?
gaper: do u have sponsored?
me: sponsors*?
gaper: YOU DO?!!!!!!!
me: what? no...
gaper:.....oh
he left after this......
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i was standing in line to buy some lunch, i over hear some gapers tsalking about all the "totally gnar" (gnar pronounced how its spelled)... at this point there weren't any jumps set up in the park...

Gaper1: ya i think ill start doing corks after lunch
Gaper2: me too.. they're easy right?
gaper1: ya i can do cork 180's off the flat rail up-down
(he was referring to an a-frame that was about 4inches wide)
gaper2: ya ill try after lunch

i kept my eye on them because i couldnt belive that was going to happen......
they would hit it normally then go switch out, and freak out over the "cork" they just did
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i think the amount of people with after bangs and marker squires is funny...i count atleast 15 everytime i go
_____________________________________________________________________
can u backflip?
__________________________________________________________

i have traveling circus skis and no one at my hill has herd about them i guess?

gaper: Will?
me: what? me?
gaper: are u will Wesson? (pronounced wEEEson'd)
me: no.... why?
gaper: u have his skis
me: ya i got them at corbetts (local ski shop)
gaper: but u can only have them if ur in travelling circus
---at this point i decided to fuck with him a little----
me:..okay...u caught me.... im Cole Drexler
gaper: who?
me: i pointed at Cole on the ski
gaper: holy crup can i get your autograph
me: i dont have a marker though, We're all going to be here this saturday, y dont u come bck with a bunch of ur friends then?
Gaper: OKAY!!! and he skied off

atleast he'll have friends saturday :P






Jan 6 2013 8:06PM
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gingaskier
Posts: 623 - Karma: 263
So the other day I was working in my hills rental shop when this guy comes in and asks for a set of skis. we sized him up and brought out a pair of regular carving skis (120-74-110) however when we showed them to him he said " I don't want powder skis, why are these so fat" so for like the next ten minutes we explained to him what actual pow skis are like.
Jan 6 2013 8:28PM
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