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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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crazyafterbang
Posts: 5 - Karma: 36
gaper, rides of the lip of the jump goes to all his friends and says dude see how much air i just got.
Jul 24 2012 3:29AM
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fruitstick
Posts: 594 - Karma: 1,034
Which ski is for which foot?

One of the teachers on the school ski trip
Jul 24 2012 10:38AM
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ski4fun420
Posts: 902 - Karma: 842
I was asked on the lift, "Can you grind?"
Jul 24 2012 2:13PM
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schmelliot
Posts: 74 - Karma: 25
steezed out kid on afterbangs- "Bro, I've been skiing since I was 7"
me- "so youre pretty good?"
kid- "I just did a 540 off waterfall. I've been hitting park all winter"
me- "well thats cool I guess."

...........

*gets off chairlift and does "pizza" down to the park
Jul 24 2012 6:47PM
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damianpajor
Posts: 177 - Karma: 67

how do you guys go on the pipes? (points to rail)

Jul 24 2012 7:05PM
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SterlingArcher
Posts: 2200 - Karma: 2,456
Where's the stunt ditch? (pipe)
Jul 24 2012 9:40PM
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theschneidler
Posts: 2099 - Karma: 355
Last season there was a guy that had a normal digital camera attached with like a screw to his helmet, go pro style. He was actually a decent snowboarder but he looked ghetto as hell.
Sep 23 2012 8:11PM
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joshua
Posts: 5046 - Karma: 1,280
Helicopter is not a gaper term, thats what 360's were called back in the day, and don't be mean to gapers, they are people too, why couldn't you explain how to hit the rail?
Sep 23 2012 8:17PM
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Abu_Hajaar
Posts: 2749 - Karma: 3,907
"don't go in the snowboard playground (terrain park) if you have not taken a lesson" - my 9th grade ski club instructor.
Sep 23 2012 8:26PM
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kingsskier
Posts: 6212 - Karma: 2,100
I want to buy a pair of burly px12s
Sep 24 2012 12:48PM
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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
this thread
Click for larger image
Sep 24 2012 12:54PM
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Firewood
Posts: 360 - Karma: 531
Bumpity bump
Sep 24 2012 1:19PM
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kingsskier
Posts: 6212 - Karma: 2,100
Also saw a guy slide down a hill on his ass screaming because he was scared and his jeans... Yes jeans left a blue streak down the whole run. Funniest lift ride ever.
Sep 24 2012 1:21PM
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klayer_9
Posts: 2037 - Karma: 188
Skied at Alta for a season (gaper capital of the world) I had some rockered pow skis and every fucking person I ran into asked me this. Some of them were serious.
Sep 24 2012 6:06PM
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Guggs
Posts: 189 - Karma: 386

so me and my friends were doing some laid out backys of a side cut jump in out park. right after geting done with some cork 7's

Ski patrol: hey you guys you cant do flips in here.

Me: why not weve done them all year and you just saw us land some corks?????

Ski patrol: no i didnt you just did a spin these you can land on your head!

Friend: Dude we can do flips in the park its fine go ask manegment!

Ski patrol: no sir you can not they are not aloud.

so we ride away pissed we then get to the top see the guy watching us we do a train of backys and stezze em all out. you can hear the people on the lifts saying OMG!!!! we get to the lift and the patrol comes down sorry guess i gunna clip your passes.

CLIPS PASS!!!!!!!!!

we walk up to the owner sense we are all on ski school team. hey can we get our passes back sure guys! come back next day the patrol was fired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :O i feel loved

Sep 24 2012 6:40PM
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Jro.
Posts: 628 - Karma: 655
On the chairlift riding up with a gaper wearing twin tips and his mom.

Gaper: Are those old fashion skis? (to my dad)
Dad: No they're mogul skis I used to ride when I competed
Gaper: Oh wow they don't look good
Dad: Wut
Sep 24 2012 7:27PM
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Juicy-J
Posts: 1901 - Karma: 1,765
+K
Sep 24 2012 7:32PM
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Tree60
Posts: 1438 - Karma: 4,961
I'm using this from now on.

Tree60, hows the snow today?
oh its pretty tall dude, might want to bring your pow sticks.
Sep 24 2012 7:40PM
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Eleidecker
Posts: 245 - Karma: 119
A redneck in my science class said that he wanted to try a 720 so he put on hockey pads and apparently "corked" it.
Sep 24 2012 9:03PM
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Jiberfish
Posts: 1041 - Karma: 310
The main one i get is: "Does it help to ski with shorter poles" or "why are your poles so short?"

or people ask me if my skis are broken because of the rocker haha
Sep 25 2012 10:07PM
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Jiberfish
Posts: 1041 - Karma: 310
Deer valley is the gaper capital of the world haha
Sep 25 2012 10:14PM
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Film.
Posts: 2649 - Karma: 2,296
Beaver Fucking Creek. Great place to ski though never crowded and park is alright and pretty much empty.
Sep 25 2012 10:53PM
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pussy_puncher
Posts: 194 - Karma: 69
"Can you cross your skis in mid-air?" or "do you grind sideways?" no reply to either of those
Sep 26 2012 2:40AM
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MrSafety
Posts: 30 - Karma: 14
Was crusing away from a lift switch when someone asked 'are you a snowboarder?'.
I just bert stared them trying to work out if they were serous.

I think i made a sarcastic remark to witch they got offended. I guess they were.
Sep 26 2012 8:45AM
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alexg1687
Posts: 1505 - Karma: 1,581
There's no reason not to reply, even if the questions are stupid. Not replying just makes you look like a dick, and by extension anyone who wears tall tees and has their goggle strap under their helmet.
Sep 26 2012 10:10AM
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B.Aussie
Posts: 5852 - Karma: 4,531
Go back to porntube
Sep 26 2012 10:13AM
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jibcrew1
Posts: 1505 - Karma: 522
not exactly a gaper quote but everyone that walks by my computer when im watching an edit or sees my wallpaper they ask is that you and its so dumb because they ask me everyday and im my wallpaper never changes
Sep 26 2012 10:14AM
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joshua
Posts: 5046 - Karma: 1,280
He's right, a lot of the people in this thread must come off as pretentious assholes when they ignore people that aren't "oh so enlightened with skiing knowledge" as you. Be nice, answer the gaper, and mabeye they will be interested in freeskiing themselves.
Sep 26 2012 1:03PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
99% of the people in this thread are greatly exaggerating or just straight up lying, so I wouldn't worry too much about it.
Sep 26 2012 1:13PM
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suup
Posts: 1485 - Karma: 4,367

no reply but the best on this 90page tread

reverendwrong
11:43:58
so the biggest fag in my grade ended up sitting next to me while in the computer lad for english. i finish up early and proceede to the next years gear preview on good old NS. It is a well known fact that i ski, in fact im the only freestyle skier in the skool and capitan of the race team, also i was wearing my head skis shirt and an armada hoodie at the time just to add to the fact that i was a skier....this is the conversation that insued..........

dbag:soo.....ur lookin at skis huh..?

me: ya im takin a look at next years shit

dbag: ya im a pretty good skier, i did a black diamond at vail

me: special?

awkward silence

dbag: those dont look like normal skis

for reference im looking at hellbents

me: ya their rockered twin tip pow skis ur never gonna see these in mn

dbag: what does that mean...do you mean pow-der skis?

me: yes they are for pow-der

dbag: ohhhh so why are they so wide?

me: becasue they are pow skis

dbag: wouldnt that make them worse?

me: now that makes them much better

dbag: no it dosent you want a long ski so you go faster so you can push through it

me: no you want a wide ski so you float so you dont sink in

dbag: but thats gonna make them slow, you need a long ski trust me the shorter it is the slower they are

me: first off, your a retard and have no fucking idea what your talking about. second, length dosent directly factor into speed. third, you need a wide ski so you have a greater surface area so you dont sink.

dbag: ok dont get angry i dont wanna argue phisics with you you cant float on powder. plus no one will buy those skis anyway the pictures and name arent family friendly no parent would ever buy those for kids

me(extreemly pissed): wtf u dumb cunt. not only do i not trust anything you say because your a fucking gaper, but ur in special fucking ed so anything you say related to phisics is usually wrong. Those graphics are tits, who gives a shit about how "family friendly" they are. So shut up you sack of shit, no one likes you, and your ugly........
.....have a nice day

dbag: hey you cant tal.....

me: you lose talking privliges shut the hell up

dbag: but you can...

me: what did i fucking tell you shut up

dbag: im tellin....

me: what part of no talking privliges do u not understand?

he shuts up for the rest of the hour
Sep 26 2012 11:49PM
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KendamaCo
Posts: 125 - Karma: 16
Well played
Sep 27 2012 11:38AM
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joshua
Posts: 5046 - Karma: 1,280
You better be lying, because if you actually did that, you deserve to be slapped, hard, for being such a pretentious little asshole.



Sep 27 2012 12:29PM
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joshua
Posts: 5046 - Karma: 1,280
And second of all, the irony is the he is partially right. Long skis ARE faster than shorter skis.



Sep 27 2012 12:33PM
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j.saaaarela
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 856
the original post was by reverendwrong...

But yes it was a bit over the top.
Sep 27 2012 3:09PM
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ChuckTesta
Posts: 960 - Karma: 258
i was wearing my level 1 hoodie one day when i got to the lift for my first lap of the day the liftie asked if i was going to get to level 2 that day. i got a good chuckle out of that.
Sep 27 2012 3:26PM
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SlurrP
Posts: 172 - Karma: 26
cool story hansel
Sep 27 2012 4:00PM
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llambert
Posts: 1005 - Karma: 81
"rails arent real skiing"
what is then?
"who can go fastest"
presumably raced and beat the guy

at my mountain most old guys embrace park skiing and dont complain about it
Sep 27 2012 7:40PM
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BigBadWolf
Posts: 2000 - Karma: 432
I remember the first time i read the noob guide to ns...
Sep 27 2012 7:42PM
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pussy_puncher
Posts: 194 - Karma: 69
lol dont get mad about it. i just couldnt think of a reply. obviously yes would be the answer but it just seemed to obvious of an answer. calm down
Sep 28 2012 1:40AM
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GrabsForFun
Posts: 1378 - Karma: 396
This happens a lot
Sep 28 2012 2:06AM
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Mitch.B
Posts: 61 - Karma: 469
Ok well in perisher at one point we had a super kicky 65 foot step down, and it was the last jump in the park. I was waiting for my friend on the knuckle of the jump, and a gaper comes down the in run, and im thinking, "Oh, he's going to go too slow and have to hike up the takeoff and roll down the other side."

He hits the jump with a bit of speed but not enough to clear the jump. Because it was heaps kicky, he went really high, but only made like 45 foot.

He got completely raped, he had a yard sale.
He picked up his stuff and then his mum comes down to him and says"That was very good timmy!"
and he replies "I Know, just imagine if a pro skier had seen me, he might have wanted to ski with me!"

Also another time where a gaper tried a backflip off a jump he hasn't cleared yet, he just knuckled it all day, he landed DIRECTLY on his head and was knocked out and was carted down the hill in a blood bucket.
Sep 28 2012 6:03AM
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SlurrP
Posts: 172 - Karma: 26
IT WAS
Sep 28 2012 12:00PM
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gurneykid
Posts: 181 - Karma: 6
bitch bitch bitch bitch
Sep 28 2012 3:35PM
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Snowtorious_BIG
Posts: 659 - Karma: 1,467
I was walking into a ski shop yesterday and this old lady (early 60's or something) is like
-Nice Armadas, I just bought some myself.
In my head I was like, no, you don't know what you're talking about
She gets in her car and I see a new pair of Armada twin tips on her roof.

They might've been for someone else, but I was pretty suprised...
Sep 29 2012 2:48PM
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COCAINEandCAVIAR
Posts: 137 - Karma: 31
MARY O
Sep 29 2012 3:18PM
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jdubbs.
Posts: 728 - Karma: 119
do you jump off cliffs?
Sep 29 2012 6:39PM
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Big_C
Posts: 243 - Karma: -9
to save on gas i decided i would ride up with this gaper that goes to my school and lives near by We were going to leave about 8 and when i got up and got ready about to head to his house at 7:50 i look at my phone and see a txt from him. It said "i dont want to go up today i looked online and it said the mountain has got 20+ inch of snow and it hasnt been groomed. It would be a terrible day of skiing with that much snow." I erased this fuck from my contacts, got in my car to drive myself and havnt talked to the freak since haha
Sep 30 2012 9:52PM
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jdubbs.
Posts: 728 - Karma: 119
lol. wow
Sep 30 2012 10:25PM
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mmallender.
Posts: 5805 - Karma: 936
shitty for him to do, but youre an asshole, just sayin
Sep 30 2012 10:44PM
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crieschl
Posts: 644 - Karma: 108
Whaatt?! I never knew they actually fired someone?!
Sep 30 2012 11:40PM
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