Member of the Month

je_t.aime_canard
January, 2025

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

The best gaper quotes

profile picture
RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
profile picture
.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
Feb 12 2012 3:08PM
0 0
profile picture
Nikkekoivisto
Posts: 602 - Karma: 1,233
I tell in class to my teacher that i ski:
Teacher: Oh, so your following Hermann maier's foot steps. (famous slalom skier)
Me: No, i freestyle ski.
Teacher: O, you mean the moguls? that must be rough.
Me: No, its like same as snowboarding but with skis. You hit jumps and slide rails.
Friend in class who doesent ski: Yeah, you should see how crazy he is when he does backflips.
>.^
Feb 12 2012 3:38PM
0 0
profile picture
Panda_with_Guns
Posts: 3040 - Karma: 1,620
last year i was in the lodge so i put my goggle up on my forehead and some gaper comes up to me and asks "i see alot of people with those goggle things. should i invest in some?"
Feb 12 2012 3:54PM
0 0
profile picture
Panda_with_Guns
Posts: 3040 - Karma: 1,620
oh! another good one:
i was riding the lift with a guy and his daughter and a kid throws a backie off of a jump and the daughter turns to her dad and says "do you think lindsey vohnn could do that?"
Feb 12 2012 4:02PM
0 0
profile picture
stupendous-man
Posts: 8637 - Karma: 13,293
at 0:19 and 0:45 "helicopter"



Feb 12 2012 9:47PM
0 0
profile picture
Mr_Bump
Posts: 689 - Karma: 427
Slalom, eh?.... no

Apart from that the rest of your post was perfect.
lol jk you're a moron
Feb 12 2012 9:58PM
0 0
profile picture
Powderhauser
Posts: 546 - Karma: 38
coming from a kid with 3 posts and no karma, insulting people won't get you far..
Feb 12 2012 10:15PM
0 0
profile picture
ericdan
Posts: 215 - Karma: 27
I've heard: 1. Why are you wearing a dress? 2. Why are both tips of your skiis turned up? 3. Why are there crates and metal bars in the jump run?
Feb 13 2012 12:19AM
0 0
profile picture
Mr_Bump
Posts: 689 - Karma: 427
1) not a kid, kid
2) number of posts is not proportional to quality
3) give a shit about karma
4) my use of the word 'moron' was legitimate, and being offended/insulted is subjective


Feb 13 2012 5:28AM
0 0
profile picture
Powderhauser
Posts: 546 - Karma: 38
im 17
Feb 13 2012 11:26AM
0 0
profile picture
Mr_Bump
Posts: 689 - Karma: 427
I suppose that is considered old for NS

But you're still a kid
Feb 13 2012 1:02PM
0 0
profile picture
Gods_Father
Posts: 1466 - Karma: -284
you're*
stupid kid
Feb 13 2012 6:46PM
1 0
profile picture
Ty_G
Posts: 117 - Karma: 33
All my friends snowboard except one who skis too...when you look at him in the liftline you would think he is good since he gets new gear every year...but when hes in the park he refusing to hit anything saying he doesmnot want to get hurt because of work yet he skis down the park everyrun with us n always skis it like a trail. My snowboarder friends and me never understood why he trys so hard to be fake. He also tella mad ppl at parties he skis park and is close to getting sponsered haha...its the sadest thing ever
Feb 13 2012 7:01PM
0 0
profile picture
Deluge
Posts: 4401 - Karma: 805
hahahahahahaha
Feb 13 2012 7:41PM
0 0
profile picture
Catbug
Posts: 463 - Karma: 1,027
on the chairlift, gaper- what kind of skis are those? Me- k2 public enemy. Gaper- oh cool, so are they powder skis cause they look like they have a bit of rocker in em. Me-.....
Feb 13 2012 8:04PM
0 0
profile picture
.MASSHOLE.
Posts: 7503 - Karma: 11,645
Downhill or Super-G is more accurate. After his gnarly motorcycle crash, he lost all feeling in his lower leg(s?), and couldnt ski slalom anymore. They actually are rumored to have put him in over a 250 flex boot..
Feb 13 2012 8:06PM
0 0
profile picture
callmeteo
Posts: 367 - Karma: 321
thats not old bro. around average
Feb 13 2012 8:27PM
0 0
profile picture
Yinzer
Posts: 1011 - Karma: 73
thats probably exactly what he landed
Feb 14 2012 8:54AM
0 0
profile picture
snowmosexual
Posts: 1934 - Karma: 10,023
True, my friend, true
Feb 17 2012 4:29PM
0 0
profile picture
marlon-d
Posts: 33 - Karma: 9
When people dee my Gopro mount they always ask if i "make cool clips on my aerials" and ask if it's my first year skiing, if i'm in a lessons group and if I have tried snowboarding. people generally act like I'm 7. I guess I'm short but really? On a side note when i was out today i dropped a decent size drop with way to much speed and landed flat. A snowboarder in the trees smoking le chron yelled "Huck to flaaaaaaaaat!!!!!!" I literally fell laughing. It was just strange.
Feb 19 2012 2:33AM
0 0
profile picture
BigBadWolf
Posts: 2000 - Karma: 432
Just like your icon.
Feb 19 2012 9:08PM
0 0
profile picture
illest_Nathan
Posts: 133 - Karma: 45
Not much of a gaper quote, but anyways i was skiing with a girl i met and she asked me what din i was at and i told her 13 on marker squire 11's....and not to mention im 5'4 on 150's xP made me hur hur hur for a while.
Feb 19 2012 11:55PM
0 0
profile picture
Dr.Gonzo
Posts: 2552 - Karma: 87
i'd have to agree NS is aging and so is it's community.

this entire weekend of skiing has been gaper central where i ski because its a long weekend and my mountain was having some lift ticket deal or something. havnt heard any notable quotes yet, if i hear any tomorrow ill return though
Feb 20 2012 12:09AM
0 0
profile picture
skibeest
Posts: 419 - Karma: 103
Gaper on the lift with british accent:
"Wow, look at those hills" (points to jump line)
"OH SHIT!" Drops his pole
Feb 20 2012 1:04PM
0 0
profile picture
binturong-qwerty
Posts: 1506 - Karma: 146
I met a guy yesterday who looked like a textbook gaper, but then the strangest thing happened. Whilst riding up the chairlift, he looks down at my skis. Expecting him to say something like "Oh so you're one of those twin tippers doing whirly birds in the snowboard park, huh.", he blindsides me by asking how I like ON3P's product. Trust me, this guys knew his shit. Then he started talking about the "stupid fucking day trippers with their six year olds need to stay the fuck out of the fucking jump line or he'll tail tap the little bastards' helmet" Mind you this guy was easily in his early 60's. Needless to say, it was a fun chairlift ride.
Feb 20 2012 4:29PM
0 0
profile picture
BigBadWolf
Posts: 2000 - Karma: 432
I told my history teacher i was hitting an urban rail with a couple of friends and he assumed that i hit it with a hammer and was destroying public property over the weekend. Didnt go over too well when i almost got called to the principle and i had to tell him it was with my skis, apparently someone had litterally destroyed one of the nearby handrails in the area that weekend too. It wasnt too gaper on his part but it was nucking futs
Feb 20 2012 8:42PM
0 0
profile picture
Cama_Coza
Posts: 7 - Karma: 10
gaper: hey do you like your magne traction?(on my lib tech skiis)
me: yeah
gaper:does it work good?
me:yeah?
gaper:ever catch edges?
me:not really
gaper: oh cool...i have it on my board?
me:*why the hell did you ask me if it works good then*

Feb 20 2012 9:30PM
0 0
profile picture
BigBadWolf
Posts: 2000 - Karma: 432
Because snowboard and ski magne traction might be different? Lol that was just out of curiosity, not a gaper quote
Feb 20 2012 9:58PM
0 0
profile picture
Panda_with_Guns
Posts: 3040 - Karma: 1,620
Saturday i was in the lift line and some gaper in a one peice puts his ski up and says "is there any scratches on this ski? *switches which foot is up* What about this one? no? caus i feel like im going slow. like REALLY slow"
Feb 20 2012 10:09PM
0 0
profile picture
Inline.
Posts: 4424 - Karma: 432
"Mom, why do people like skiing in the powder?"
Feb 20 2012 10:11PM
0 0
profile picture
marlon-d
Posts: 33 - Karma: 9
I know. I cant find a good small enough icon.
Feb 23 2012 10:58PM
0 0
profile picture
BigBadWolf
Posts: 2000 - Karma: 432
Is that you btw? Looks fuckin weird, just google something on icon size on images or find an image and there are free resizers on the interwebz
Feb 23 2012 11:05PM
0 0
profile picture
Lucas
Posts: 4881 - Karma: 1,575
"I invented the tall tee"
Feb 23 2012 11:36PM
0 0
profile picture
roddy116
Posts: 10648 - Karma: 7,665
i was getting my books after school about an hour after school ended, im talking to my freshmen buddy who snowboards at my hill, and we were talking about what we were going to do that weekend. and I said i was going skiing as usual, i told him i was gonna try to do some rail trick. and this other freshmen gets all angry and flips out and says NO WAY, SKIERS DONT DO PARK THEY ONLY RACE, then im like no not really, then he just yells HOW COME I NEVER SEE ANY SKIERS DO PARK, then me and my freshmen buddy walk away laughing.
Feb 23 2012 11:48PM
0 0
profile picture
rareison
Posts: 10263 - Karma: 219
bahahaha
Feb 23 2012 11:49PM
0 0
profile picture
fennjack
Posts: 286 - Karma: 132
My friend does a flat 3.
Kid: Daddy what was that?
Dad: Well son, I believe that would be a sideways barrell roll.
Feb 23 2012 11:59PM
0 0
profile picture
PeteMez
Posts: 611 - Karma: 103
A girl at my school:
"Isn't Jiberish a language? :o"
Mar 25 2012 2:08PM
0 0
profile picture
owls
Posts: 62 - Karma: 13
Me and my friends had a very similar experience at seven springs, except it was with a snow boarder of about the same age. He'd get to the top of the jump line and get made fun of for snowboarding and then throw some pretty crazy stuff, just to show them.
Mar 27 2012 7:04PM
0 0
profile picture
rozboon
Posts: 1642 - Karma: 868
Happens from time to time eh... saw a guy last season queuing to drop on the big line at my local hill, rocking the faded one-piece and some ancient carving skis... dude was taking his spraffys out 60ft, more power to him I guess.
Mar 27 2012 7:24PM
0 0
profile picture
Pineal
Posts: 433 - Karma: 415
a kid at my local hill, with an indiana jones hat and womens goggles said, "woah your skis have tips on both sides, those are like...dual tips or somethins"

"can we put the safety bar down now?"

"Whats your favorite jump
Me: the last one
Gaper: mines the first rail"

"WHAAATTTTT???? HE JUST DID A TWO SPINNN!"
Mar 27 2012 7:36PM
0 0
profile picture
JWeinstock
Posts: 3439 - Karma: 1,352
while waiting to go on a rail at sundown
Gaper: whats that thing in front of you
Me: The rail?
Gaper: The red thing that u slide on
Me: So a rail?
Gaper: No the red thing you slide on
Mar 27 2012 8:09PM
0 0
profile picture
Pineal
Posts: 433 - Karma: 415
A kid at my mountain goes "what is that thing?" and i said "its a rail" and he goes "ohhh so its like an obstacle courseeee" i was unsure how to reply
Mar 27 2012 8:34PM
0 0
profile picture
Pineal
Posts: 433 - Karma: 415
just remembered the best one. My friend was wearing a vest he got at a garage sail and i asked a kid wearing an ll bean coat if he looked cool, and the kid said, "i dont know, im not cool" then looked sad and walked away.
Mar 27 2012 8:41PM
0 0
profile picture
aj_everly
Posts: 563 - Karma: 213
Gaper on chairlift: hey, do you do the parks
Me: yeah
Gaper: Can you backflip?
Me: yeah
Gaper: LIKE FEET OVER HEAD!!!!!??????
Me:...............................
Mar 28 2012 3:26AM
0 0
profile picture
Jo_n
Posts: 77 - Karma: 50
Guy on the chair lift: so I got the speed app on the iPhone, it said I was going 75mph down that slope right there. Hahaha
Mar 28 2012 3:48PM
0 0
profile picture
.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
This, along with 98% of comments relating to backflips in this thread, did not happen.
Mar 28 2012 4:10PM
2 0
profile picture
cstearns
Posts: 229 - Karma: 141
So great
Mar 28 2012 4:16PM
0 0
profile picture
GypsyLovin
Posts: 656 - Karma: 109
Haha yeah for sure... It's always the people older than like 25, they just stare
Mar 28 2012 5:18PM
0 0
profile picture
Aiden-P
Posts: 1310 - Karma: 38
I tripled this last year!
Mar 28 2012 6:01PM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-5)