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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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tdollo
Posts: 3773 - Karma: 18,558
wtf
Dec 31 2011 8:59AM
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rednecknation
Posts: 548 - Karma: 63
i was walking through the airport with full tilt drop kicks around me neck and some lady was like "nice skates"
Dec 31 2011 10:32AM
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Squeenerd
Posts: 731 - Karma: 186
The asian tourists at Brighton always take their boards off when they are like 200 yards away from the lift. Then they fall and their boards slide all the way into the parking lot. Funny stuff.
Dec 31 2011 12:07PM
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Ski_Alot
Posts: 5900 - Karma: 3,657
(about my hotdoggers) "Are those ski and snowboard boots?"
Dec 31 2011 12:08PM
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Bill.Nye
Posts: 4060 - Karma: 2,109
I'll admit I asked that the first time I saw SPKs
Dec 31 2011 7:55PM
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Bamjam
Posts: 200 - Karma: 129
Yes! what's your name on SR?
Dec 31 2011 8:35PM
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hunterjibbypete
Posts: 51 - Karma: 30
me: *skiing switch down to the lift*
gaper/lift operator: "I think i should get my skis checked, I don't thing mine have a reverse gear."
Dec 31 2011 9:05PM
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j.saaaarela
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 856
Haha I tried using them as snowboard boots once. Worked better than I thought actually...
Dec 31 2011 9:11PM
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hunterjibbypete
Posts: 51 - Karma: 30
actually tried this like 2 days ago and they worked insanely well, they were just tighter than boots that i would lace up to board with
Dec 31 2011 9:21PM
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whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,103
Talking with a "BURTON IS THE BEST" guy on facebook today, I asked him how the park at tremblant was and he said he didn't go into the park because his board was new and "way too fast".
Jan 1 2012 5:58PM
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Heart
Posts: 6156 - Karma: 3,462
on a family trip, riding 5ish inches of pow:

brother: "theres too much powder!"

me: "what...?"
Jan 1 2012 7:08PM
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roddy116
Posts: 10630 - Karma: 7,456
i wear snowpants that look like jeans so some small kid comes up to me and says

kid: are those jeans
me: no there snowpants
kid: where are they from
me: burton
kid: no they arent, you snowboard
me: so?
kid: so you cant wear burton if you ski
me: so how come im skiing?
kid skis away and his mom gives me a dirty look and i lold so hard
Jan 1 2012 10:01PM
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rareison
Posts: 10263 - Karma: 219
The kid's right. Burton isn't allowed. GTFO.
Jan 1 2012 10:02PM
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roddy116
Posts: 10630 - Karma: 7,456
lol i think it looks kewl
Jan 1 2012 10:10PM
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Flacko
Posts: 1495 - Karma: 788
ya one time a guy asked me like what type of boots my 2012 tomwalish full tilt hot dogerz ($750 MSRP) where and i waz lik OMG
Jan 1 2012 10:15PM
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jzSteezy
Posts: 139 - Karma: 16
as my friend is getting fitted by a "bootfitter"(the guy didnt know what the fuck he was doing. first he put my friend that has really narrow feet into booters, he goes to buckle them up and puts the cables into the wrong slots. then, he put my friend in spk's and tried to tell him that they were developed by salomon to give the good skiers "room to move their feet in their boots while theyre doing stuff in the trick park" my friend had specifically said that he would only be skiing a small amount of park too, mostly groomers, and the guy kept trying to sell him park boots, if you wanna call them that.later i said that i had gone skiing on mt. hood this summer and he asked me if i went to momentum or camp of champs. gotta love small-town shop employees
Jan 1 2012 11:38PM
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RIP_leos_shack
Posts: 711 - Karma: 3,205
**NOT MINE** I found this in TGR, originally posted by marshalolson, but it's priceless, so I'm posting it here:


guy on chairlift: look at those skis on that guy in front of us!!! they are those rockered ones.

me: ok

G.O.C: those are only good for the powder. i don't know why you would ski on them today (2 runs open at loveland in october). you need to have a ski with metal and a tight sidecut (he has neither in his skis... atomic sx:7) to get the most out of todays conditions

me: you should probably watch how he skis...

G.O.C: i am not saying anything about him, but those skis are for powder. they won't carve because of the rocker, and they just skid around, becasue of the rocker... they are for powder.

me: seriously, you should watch how he skis them...

G.O.C: i just don't get it. it is not a powder day.

me: [turn ipod louder and wish the lift was faster]

skis in question: obsethed.
skier with skis in question: seth morrison
Jan 1 2012 11:54PM
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crab_pretzel
Posts: 3919 - Karma: 622
too much information maybe?

and OP, you changed your name & icon. wtf im freaking out this thread isnt the same
Jan 1 2012 11:59PM
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.ZT.
Posts: 5679 - Karma: 2,792
the guy who runs the park at my local hill called it the snowboard park on a video on the website. WTF
Jan 2 2012 10:00AM
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Heart
Posts: 6156 - Karma: 3,462
haha thats great
Jan 2 2012 12:09PM
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DyeExplode
Posts: 400 - Karma: 8
thats what i was thinkin hahahaa!
Jan 2 2012 1:13PM
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Deluge
Posts: 4401 - Karma: 805
uh sonny, This may be a tad embarassing but your goggles are supposed to go OVER your helmet
Jan 2 2012 1:53PM
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Lemuel
Posts: 14490 - Karma: 10,630
Pretty much everyone on this page sounds like a gaper themselves.

The other day there was a big bus group that came to my mountain, it was hilarious seeing packs of Russians come mobbing down the hill and eating shit.
Jan 2 2012 2:39PM
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DyeExplode
Posts: 400 - Karma: 8
i wear my goggles over my helmet! haahah
Jan 2 2012 2:43PM
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crab_pretzel
Posts: 3919 - Karma: 622
lol thats actully pretty funny. kinda like the gapers sitting at a picnic table in the park
Jan 2 2012 4:08PM
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rareison
Posts: 10263 - Karma: 219
Going up the lift with a random guy and his daughter, the lift is right above the park, and some skiers go and straight air the jumop, then a few go and do 3's, and the guy is like to his 8 year old daughter "sweetie, one day you will be able to do all of that stuff in the skate park just like those guys and hit all the big ramps".
Jan 2 2012 10:18PM
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ABdrummer
Posts: 533 - Karma: 673
black man wearing a legit dressy pea coat out while snowing at killington. at least it was tall. inb4 racist
Jan 2 2012 10:57PM
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Tyler-49
Posts: 183 - Karma: -1
I could do that with my old skis
Jan 3 2012 1:38AM
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JWoods
Posts: 2369 - Karma: 2,635
Lady taking her kids through the park

Me: Hey this really isn't a beginner run for your kids to learn to ski on
Her: Oh they aren't learning...
Me: Well uhhh.... *ski away flabbergasted*

I seriously couldn't think of anything to say to this lady after watching her and her children wedge down the park for several runs.
Jan 3 2012 4:05AM
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Kcin
Posts: 1845 - Karma: 58
ONE TIME I WAS DOING EVERY DOUBLE AND THIS HOT GIRL WAS LIKE WANNA HAVE SEX SO WE DID. WHAT A GAPER RIGHT?!?!?




Seriously 90% of these stories are the most painful untrue claims for attention. Lets get back on track here kids
Jan 3 2012 4:18AM
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Bamjam
Posts: 200 - Karma: 129
They had to take the picnic table out of the park near me cause gapers would sit on it and one got hurt. Their faces were hilarious though when someone hit the table while they were sitting at it. One even went to ski patrol about it LOL.
Jan 3 2012 5:35PM
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NotGhood
Posts: 2809 - Karma: 1,255
with a guy i know who snowboards, poorly
me: yeah i freestyle ski now, this is my 3rd season
him: sick i can do backflips on my snowboard, im working on double backflips but they're kind of hard.
me: -________________-
Jan 3 2012 6:07PM
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mscinto
Posts: 603 - Karma: 68
haha, urban dictionary's definition
Gaper
A gaper is a skiier or snowboarder who is completely clueless. Usually distiungished by their bright colored clothes and a gaper gap, the gap between goggles and a helment/hat. Gapers also do the "Gaper Tuck" which is an attempt at being a ski racer by tucking, however, it is done incorrectly with the poles sticking straight up like thunderbolts and lighting, very very frightning! Gapers also sit at the bottom of jumps and try and go big off table tops in the park.
1. My eyes are burning from that gapers bright colored clothes.
2. I fell off the chair laughing at that gaper tuck.
3. Did you just see that gaper getting landed on because he was sitting like a dumbass at the landing of a jump
Jan 3 2012 10:36PM
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Baloo
Posts: 565 - Karma: 23
"Thats my wife over there skiing. Sge is really bad can even get off the ski lift." then he falls getting off the ski lift.
Jan 3 2012 10:46PM
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crab_pretzel
Posts: 3919 - Karma: 622
haha thats hilarious i wished someone would do that with me. not a bad way to pass the lift time if you dont listen to music
Jan 3 2012 10:46PM
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84891jnf92048
Posts: 11552 - Karma: 2,550
I have been asked so many times if I've seen JPs street segment from All.I.Can, and people aren't Bowen away by the filming or concept, but by the fact that he was skiing in a town and on rails. oh well, at least it's some exposure.
Jan 3 2012 11:09PM
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whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,103
Was he good?
Jan 4 2012 12:14AM
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Dmarc
Posts: 1035 - Karma: 83
going up the lift in 50 degree weather guy next to me says why is this all grass they should be making snow!! i said well it needs to be around 27 28 degrees to make snow he then says nooo thats crazy they have snow machines that make their own snow
Jan 4 2012 12:20AM
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Tyler-49
Posts: 183 - Karma: -1
A kid at my school who thinks he isn't a gaper and everyone else is tryes to tell me the 3xl jiberish re up I was wearing was for gapers and all people who wear baggy clothing when skiing are gapers. I told him he is restarted and walked away
Jan 5 2012 7:27PM
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84891jnf92048
Posts: 11552 - Karma: 2,550
Click for larger image
Jan 5 2012 8:59PM
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roddy116
Posts: 10630 - Karma: 7,456
my parents see my new poles there asking me why i got my poles really short, then my sister chimes in he just's wants to look like a snowboarder. i laughed soooo hard at her
Jan 5 2012 9:15PM
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Tyler-49
Posts: 183 - Karma: -1
Autocorrect fails.
Jan 5 2012 9:16PM
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ewanouSKI
Posts: 422 - Karma: 15
gaper: when you go railing doesnt it round your edges?
Jan 5 2012 9:24PM
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[evan]
Posts: 5628 - Karma: 117
Gaper: What do you call those things?
Friend: Skis
Gaper: No but the back is bent
Friend: Twin Tips....
(Gaper stares in astonishment)
Jan 8 2012 8:48PM
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old-dirty11
Posts: 340 - Karma: 238

this kid on the chair lift: I like your masks

us: you mean goggles

this kid: yea

then there was a silent moment

this kid: Can I show you a magic TRICK at the top!

us: uhh yea

at the top he lifted the bar with his elbow and made his hands look like he was pulling it up without touching it. lol

Jan 8 2012 10:19PM
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huck_to_flat
Posts: 167 - Karma: 15
my family was moving so we were out looking at houses with a real estate agent, one house we went to had a backyard setup with a couple rails so i was looking at them and talking about it and stuff. The real estate agent didn't know what it was so i told her its for skiing, she looked confused and then said "you go down those??!!!......with ur skis on??!!!"
Jan 9 2012 12:27AM
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awesomeness17
Posts: 639 - Karma: 27
My friend calls yard sales picnics. "oh did he picnic?"
Jan 16 2012 1:36PM
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awesomeness17
Posts: 639 - Karma: 27
My friend calls yard sales picnics. "oh did he picnic?"
Jan 16 2012 1:36PM
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stupendous-man
Posts: 8637 - Karma: 13,293
yesterday was there was a pretty good dump at hood (about a foot fell over night, and probably another 6 inches while skiing), and i got so many quotes due to riding the singles line most of the day.

"I HATE powder, it slows you down so much!"

"this snow is so hard to turn in, i wish they would groom it already"

"I wish i had brought my chronics today, pow skis would have been so nice!" (it was some racer kid saying this, and yes he did think the line chronics were pow skis)"

"boy, i bet your skis float real well today" (coming from and old dude referring to my suspects. i need to get some pow skis.)

"IS THAT MOUNT ST. HELENS!?!" (little kid pointing to the top of mt hood)

"My toes are cold, when are we going in for lunch mom?" (it was about 9:30, lifts open at 9:00)
Jan 16 2012 2:28PM
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