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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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HomieJon
Posts: 621 - Karma: 134
"i hate my skis there to slippery"
Dec 11 2011 10:21PM
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mscinto
Posts: 603 - Karma: 68
haha thats great
Dec 11 2011 10:51PM
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steezywannabeezy
Posts: 990 - Karma: 690
Someone called my skis snow skates once. I about punched him in the dick.
Dec 12 2011 12:16AM
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RoofDaRoofieDogg
Posts: 3090 - Karma: 1,989
i lost
Dec 12 2011 1:13AM
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ChrisSkisChronic
Posts: 1128 - Karma: 230
My cousin asked if I used my waterski in the winter for "normal  skiing"
Dec 12 2011 7:15PM
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Jew-Jitsu
Posts: 159 - Karma: 45
definetly the best thread I've ever read.
Dec 12 2011 7:53PM
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iamski
Posts: 24 - Karma: 11
i heard once


"Can they make jumps out of fake snow?"

"lets go through the obstacle course"
Dec 12 2011 8:04PM
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alexg1687
Posts: 1505 - Karma: 1,581
This thread has way too much bullshit now.
Dec 12 2011 8:05PM
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Its_Greg
Posts: 262 - Karma: 80
"Are you sponsored? I never knew skiers could do rails" - some kid at my tiny local hill
Dec 12 2011 8:25PM
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Laurent.
Posts: 10056 - Karma: 25,313
At my local indoor hall at the top of the fun park (a box, three rails and a jump, best thing I have near me.)(Shapers are good tho.)


Gaper: "Hey dude why are you using kid's poles, Only newbies use short poles."
*Note he had some ridiculously long poles only really meant for someone with the stature of Chewbaca.*

I mind my own business and casually jib the only box, land switch and stop.
What I then saw unfold before my eyes was truly amazing.
He jumped on the box straight on, and his ridiculously long pole catches in the snow beside the box this drives it against his chest launching him over himself in some crazy flip in which he releases both skis and bends both poles whilst thumbing down.

I just said: "Thats why." whilst stopping one of his skis from racing down the hill.


Dec 15 2011 2:24PM
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ewanouSKI
Posts: 422 - Karma: 15
*sitting on the lift*
gaper mom: are you the guy in the park?
me: yeah thats me
gaper mom to her daughter: *insert girls name here*!!! this is the guy that did the double 360!!
me: ...
Dec 15 2011 4:06PM
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Heart
Posts: 6156 - Karma: 3,462
Shane McConkey did it back in the day =P
Dec 15 2011 4:40PM
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stupendous-man
Posts: 8637 - Karma: 13,293
teh lolz were delivered
Dec 15 2011 7:16PM
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ChrisSkisChronic
Posts: 1128 - Karma: 230
And did the single most badass sideslip ever.
Dec 15 2011 7:46PM
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Dr.Gonzo
Posts: 2552 - Karma: 87
this is still my favorite

i always call my buddys at school gapers

they respond with "whats a gaper" they've even all started to call eachother gapers sooo funny XD
Dec 15 2011 8:44PM
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openmindportrait
Posts: 1157 - Karma: 818
hahah I miss this thread I have a solid one

Some guy at Crystal Mtn in Washington drunk off his ass and tripping balls wearing a multicolored onzie and on an old partially delaminated burton swallowtail snowboard. was telling me about how its bottomless powder at Mt Baker. He said patrol doesn't care what you do and you can drop 500 foot cliffs and jump off the lift. He proceeded to fall off the lift into a ditch. We heard he got arrested for not cooperating and trying to steal a parking lot shuttle bus. /claim???
Dec 16 2011 12:29AM
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FerrisBueller
Posts: 8280 - Karma: 5,173
wow that was a cool 460!

i thought only the obsticle course was for snowboarders?

ive been skiing for 4 days, when are you allowed in the blue squares or scary blacks??
Dec 16 2011 12:42AM
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Pancake_Fucker
Posts: 1843 - Karma: 1,917

Gaper:So you slide on those metal bars and plastic boxes right? and jump right?

Me: Rails and boxes, yes. and yeah i jump.

Gaper:How do you backwards without falling?

Me:I have twin tips

Gaper: Oh like snowblades?

Me: no snowblades are stupid and anyone wearing them should be made fun of.

Gaper: No man snowblades are way cooler. That's what all the pros use.

Me: yeah you're right, i feel stupid now. *Get off chair and avoid the gaper for the rest of the day*

Dec 16 2011 12:46AM
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.skiwi.
Posts: 898 - Karma: 40

Me: watching a wallisch wednesdays

Gaper turns and looks at my ipod, "skiers do spins? Wow i didnt know that!"

Dec 16 2011 5:02AM
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KoalaTime
Posts: 156 - Karma: 41
So...not a gaper, but a ski school instructor...but this morning he walked up to me and pointed at my toe buckles on my full tilts and asked if I had heaters on the side of my boots............................
Dec 23 2011 11:29PM
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Peppy
Posts: 346 - Karma: 341
haha this happened to me a few days ago.. i was skiing at app ski mountain in nc and it was raining all day. but this asian girl was snowboarding and she took off both bindings and tried to hop on the lift. the lift op said "NO STRAP IN THEN HOP ON" and i laughed because she was asian
Dec 24 2011 12:55AM
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alexg1687
Posts: 1505 - Karma: 1,581
Congratulations...you've made one of the few contributions to this thread that's actually likely to be true.
Dec 24 2011 5:46AM
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richard.
Posts: 873 - Karma: 55
heard oakley permission lens = tangerine vision.
Dec 27 2011 5:55PM
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rareison
Posts: 10263 - Karma: 219
My dad - "well since your pants are all baggy and saggy isn't it harder to do your jumps and twists?"
Dec 27 2011 6:04PM
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Pool.
Posts: 2820 - Karma: 662
dunno what ur talking about, al pros use snowblades...

Dec 27 2011 6:26PM
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Bamjam
Posts: 200 - Karma: 129
That video is such a joke haha.
Dec 27 2011 10:17PM
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JORMUNGAND
Posts: 360 - Karma: 480
kid at school: can you do 360s?
me: yeah..
kid: can you do anything else?
me: yeah, i can do 5s
kid: what?
me: 540s
kid: i dont get it
Dec 27 2011 10:38PM
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Bill.Nye
Posts: 4060 - Karma: 2,109
I worked as a lifty and now I'm a ski instructor so I've had some good ones. Can't remember all of them unfortunately. Some keepers;

(gaper loading the chair) "where do I get off?"

(gaper loading chair 23, which is a chair to the top) "is the top open today?"

"Wow those are some cool powder skis" (volkl bridges, 90mm underfoot)

(I skied up to a lift with my tripod after filming) "How can you ski with your tripod?"

"How can you ski without your poles?"

My GF works in the rental shop and the other day someone came in wearing ski boots asking for a snowboard to put on.

"How do I get to Mammoth Lake?"
Dec 27 2011 11:25PM
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KneeDrop
Posts: 641 - Karma: 1,487
A girl who rented skis from us for a week returned them and said,
"I'd like to ask you about the hot springs."  There are a lot in CO, but none nearby so i say,
"Which one?" She looks very confused and replies timidly,
"The....one....from....the....earth?"

Laughed in her face. felt kinda bad
Dec 28 2011 1:16AM
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stupendous-man
Posts: 8637 - Karma: 13,293
While standing at the bottom of a lift at hood waiting for my friend, there was a snowboarder with a windells diecut on his helmet with the backing still on it....
Dec 28 2011 9:52PM
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callmeteo
Posts: 367 - Karma: 321
on a chairlift, a russian guy asked me

"are these mechanics to produce snow?"

me-"uh, yeah. they come in handy when there isnt much snow"

"do they make many chemical?"
Dec 28 2011 10:08PM
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.squirrely.
Posts: 7563 - Karma: 7,546
i got weight for christmas and my and my cousin were watching it while my whole extended family was over... oh the things they said about urban skiing
Dec 28 2011 10:18PM
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saskskierftw
Posts: 898 - Karma: 62
I lol'ed.. And get on the milf with her daughter??..
Dec 28 2011 10:19PM
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heitsy
Posts: 201 - Karma: 73
Gaper watching kids practice 360's on a mogul air: "Those tricks are cool"
Us: "Which tricks?"
Gaper: You know, the once-around that those kids are doing."

Since then, we've always referred to 360's as once-arounds, 7's as twice-arounds, backies as once-overs, etc.
Dec 28 2011 10:53PM
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SpaghettiWizard
Posts: 2825 - Karma: 166
funniest shit ive ever seen
Dec 28 2011 11:55PM
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Bill.Nye
Posts: 4060 - Karma: 2,109
Had some mini gapers in my class yesterday. They asked why the snow was red (it was that dye they use to mark stuff) so I told them they painted it and they asked if they painted it red because they ran out of white.
Dec 29 2011 10:22AM
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NEEDMOSNOW
Posts: 344 - Karma: 39
80th page claim
Dec 29 2011 10:39AM
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tdollo
Posts: 3773 - Karma: 18,558
GAPER
Dec 29 2011 10:40AM
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steezyshit
Posts: 785 - Karma: 1,342

Last day I just saw two chinesse people going down the hill with one pair of ski but two pair of boots !?!?! wtf

Dec 29 2011 2:16PM
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Laurent.
Posts: 10056 - Karma: 25,313
Good way to train balance and feel the edge of the ski working.
French ski instructors make it do to their students from time to time, you get a better feel for the ski.


Dec 29 2011 5:18PM
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SamMcChesney
Posts: 2905 - Karma: 2,199
two days ago at beaver creek I saw a girl trying to put here skis on backwards...like putting her toes in the heel..
Dec 29 2011 5:23PM
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skibeest
Posts: 419 - Karma: 103
Do you cross your skis on the rail for balance?
Dec 29 2011 11:28PM
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NinetyFour
Posts: 8650 - Karma: 13,411
Lol I had a girl on the chair ahead of me fail to get off the chair..... They stopped the whole lift and she had to jump, only like ten foot, cool story I know. I've also had "pretty boots" "80s boots" and "hard to lose boots" when people comment on my voodoos......
Dec 29 2011 11:37PM
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Bamjam
Posts: 200 - Karma: 129
A couple I got today:

"How did you get that design on your skis?"
"I thought snow jump skis were the same on top as on the bottom."

The second one threw me off a bit.
Dec 30 2011 9:18PM
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Bill.Nye
Posts: 4060 - Karma: 2,109
Think they mean 100% symmetrical (IE, afterbangs, stepups, domains, ace of spades i think)
Dec 30 2011 9:25PM
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Bamjam
Posts: 200 - Karma: 129
Nah lol that's what I thought he meant at first but he clarified that he thought they didn't have bases or edges, so that you could hit rails. As if my afterbangs were just straight up pieces of wood.
Dec 30 2011 9:32PM
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Bill.Nye
Posts: 4060 - Karma: 2,109
Well, they don't have sidewalls haha
Dec 30 2011 10:24PM
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Bamjam
Posts: 200 - Karma: 129
Haha. Close Mr. Gaper, but no cigar.
Dec 31 2011 12:50AM
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papermache
Posts: 1097 - Karma: 616
Got on the lift with someone and he immediately pulled out a deck of flash cards with brain teasers on them. He proceeded to quiz me for the entirety of the chair ride.
Dec 31 2011 1:21AM
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DyeExplode
Posts: 400 - Karma: 8
i know u from another forum. SR i believe. haha
Dec 31 2011 1:48AM
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