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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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HitTheJim
Posts: 787 - Karma: 399
Bern and a lot of other companies make 4 season helmets that you can use for biking, skating, skiing, etc. so thats not really that ridiculous
Feb 25 2011 3:53PM
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aquinn
Posts: 824 - Karma: 217
"cool twintips"
Feb 25 2011 4:12PM
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Quinn69
Posts: 293 - Karma: 141
troll?
Feb 25 2011 4:14PM
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EastCoastJib23
Posts: 1 - Karma: 8
i saw a dude wearing a cowboy hat, sunglasses, and jeans tucked into his boots
Feb 25 2011 4:31PM
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ReignMan
Posts: 1852 - Karma: 226
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahahahahahahahahaa well that made my day. i was thinking as i read his post. " i feel like that kid is right".
Feb 25 2011 5:47PM
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.squirrely.
Posts: 7563 - Karma: 7,546
i wear a bern skate helmet skiing and skating.  and this page is hilarious because all the stupid qoutes are funny because there made up.  the 3 pairs of skinny jeans could be my favorite in the whole thread
Feb 25 2011 6:15PM
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Crispy.
Posts: 6112 - Karma: 7,692
On the chairlift with this guy "Woah these kids are insane, that big jump over there I hear has a 40 ft gap, my son just did a double backside cork backflip helicopter thingy"
Feb 25 2011 9:35PM
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Mules
Posts: 595 - Karma: 97
kid in my class: i think i may get double tips next year
Feb 25 2011 9:40PM
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Lolocaust.
Posts: 1716 - Karma: 512
WOW Square skiis?

Can you backflip?


Feb 26 2011 12:47AM
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sack
Posts: 4881 - Karma: 147
hahaha, that's good

food for thought for all those NS'ers thinking up gaper quotes: not being a park rat does not a gaper make...
Feb 26 2011 1:57AM
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-GL-
Posts: 1696 - Karma: 37
epic
Feb 26 2011 6:22PM
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Evilchris
Posts: 2090 - Karma: 44
It will be!
Feb 26 2011 8:52PM
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Crispy.
Posts: 6112 - Karma: 7,692
this kid did a rodeo 5 and this girl i'm on the chairlift with yells CORK! That's what happens with you mix gapers with x games
Feb 27 2011 8:10PM
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.squirrely.
Posts: 7563 - Karma: 7,546
i doubt i could tell the difference between a rodeo and a cork all the way from the lift.  the majority of skiers couldnt either.  they look the same
Feb 27 2011 8:14PM
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monkatizer
Posts: 4704 - Karma: 1,518
https://www.newschoolers.com/ns/forums/readthread/thread_id/605810/

ive gotten this one
Feb 27 2011 8:23PM
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Crispy.
Posts: 6112 - Karma: 7,692
The lift was 30 feet right of the jump and maybe 30 feet high so it was pretty obvious.
Feb 27 2011 9:14PM
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Its_Greg
Posts: 262 - Karma: 80
Not really a quote but today i was throwing a floaty 180 off of a kicker and this rental snowboarder is sitting on his ass in the middle of the fucking landing. As soon as i see him, I panic and do another 90 right before I land, double eject, and tumble down the landing. Didn't really get hurt but I cursed the kid out pretty hard lol.
Feb 27 2011 9:30PM
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ndye
Posts: 3756 - Karma: 7,094
Now nick, you be careful, i don't want you going on any of those balance beams!
Feb 27 2011 9:35PM
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Jake.K
Posts: 17 - Karma: 9

back when i used to be a gper this guy did a rodeo 5 and i was like "whoa he did like a backflip thingy."

Feb 27 2011 9:51PM
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iSmokeweed
Posts: 4793 - Karma: 1,370
"you look legit. you may drop before me"

nicest gaper ever.
Feb 27 2011 10:22PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
a 'gaperman' if you will. You know like gentleman.
Feb 27 2011 10:26PM
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Captain_Slow
Posts: 1677 - Karma: 24
15 yr old girl at my mtn;
"Im pretty sure man made snow lasts longer than regular snow."
Feb 27 2011 11:12PM
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bustinthejus
Posts: 2419 - Karma: 74
Just got the classic "WOW why are your poles so short!?" again yesterday... Also got "Pfft... Level 1!? I'm Level 6!" from my friend who thought he was funny...
Feb 28 2011 12:23AM
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Rills
Posts: 23 - Karma: 10
Kid: Dad have u ever skied in colorado? Gaper: of course it was the best groomed corduroy in the world. Kid: wow I want to go Gaper: ya but I heard that Utah has even better groomed corduroy runs! Kid: what about the Appalachians?
Feb 28 2011 1:01AM
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Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,014
seen it done before
Feb 28 2011 1:05AM
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RalphLauren.
Posts: 710 - Karma: 106
in my young and more gapery days i told my older brother to "hold your poles behind you like the steezers do"
Feb 28 2011 1:26AM
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BITS
Posts: 1808 - Karma: 866
Two guys in the lift discussed if you could feel difference by real
Feb 28 2011 4:32AM
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BITS
Posts: 1808 - Karma: 866
snow and man made snow. He was like: no way its different- you see.., it's just frozen water.....?? No difference there dude
Feb 28 2011 4:34AM
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iSmokeweed
Posts: 4793 - Karma: 1,370
i like it.
Feb 28 2011 9:57AM
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Bi-ShredinalGuy
Posts: 1075 - Karma: 321
haha so some gapers are cool
Feb 28 2011 11:35AM
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Bi-ShredinalGuy
Posts: 1075 - Karma: 321
i made a run through the park.. at the bottom of the lift some pissed off gaper mom comes up to me and says "i would appreciate it if you would stop giving my son dangerous ideas on those jumps and stuff!"
Feb 28 2011 11:37AM
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stezybake[D]oven
Posts: 370 - Karma: 36
HA!
Feb 28 2011 5:19PM
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macdonuts
Posts: 110 - Karma: 29
yea i got the why are your poles so short yesterday i was also asked what is that afterbang trick
Feb 28 2011 6:10PM
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PhreshSteezas
Posts: 8 - Karma: 10
I was skiing down to the lift and half this run to the lift is moguls and the other half is pretty much ice and this gaper is taken up the whole trail so i popped off one of the moguls to get by him and down at the lift line and taps me on my shoulder and says this... Gaper: that was unsafe what u did there we could have collided if i didnt turn me: o really good thing i wasnt u cause i dont turn Gaper:(sigh) next time u should tell me when ur gonna pass me me: would like me to tap you on your shoulder also? Gaper: who do you think you are? im a season pass holder i have more right to this mountain than you! me:As do i and my skis werent made during the great depression ur gears unsafe and u should get ur bifocals updated cause ur blind if u think ur the only one with a season pass. Gaper:(to younger hot female lift attendant) This skier was out of control and rude on the hill he should get his pass lifted. Lift attendant: you should get ur pass lifted for giving a fuck what he does I died of laughter and now ski with the lift attendant and make fun of gapers like this scrub
Feb 28 2011 6:34PM
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mikeisener
Posts: 57 - Karma: 13
A set up near a tim hortons one day the manager came to kick us off Manager, hey you kids stop skateboarding Charlie, were not skiing Manager, yes you are and skateboarding here is illegal Charlie, were skiing and anyways were not on your property( we were actualy on the community college grounds) Manager, no you guys are skateboarding and if you don't leave I will call the cops and I have you skateboarding on video Charlie, really you have us on video Manager yes and I could show you to prove it Charlie, can we see it sick you got it on film Manager, no you can't it's evidence Charlie well could you send me the vid my email and address is ECT.
Feb 28 2011 6:36PM
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crab_pretzel
Posts: 3919 - Karma: 622
thats actually true. natural snow has that unique cryastal look with all those brittle outcroppings and is easiliy compactible and much more dense. manmade snow is spherical and is just tiny piecs of ice (i know that natural snow is too but manmade is much closer to ice crystals than snow) and doesnt compact as easy, and takes longer to melt
Feb 28 2011 7:10PM
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crab_pretzel
Posts: 3919 - Karma: 622
haha i laughed really hard when i saw this because i was thinking the same thing AND its so above and beyond "lol wut?" that you didnt even put it in english. i just thought that was funny.
but in your quoted text its rearranged correctly. wtf?!
Feb 28 2011 7:14PM
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Kimbo~Slice
Posts: 522 - Karma: 194
My buddy tried telling me afterbang is when you get knee-to-face action after a drop
Mar 1 2011 3:59PM
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sack
Posts: 4881 - Karma: 147
my stepsister, the life gaper: "iPhones don't use sim cards. you store all the numbers on the phone"
Mar 2 2011 3:29PM
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jakobk
Posts: 308 - Karma: 11
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Mar 2 2011 9:13PM
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infuser
Posts: 1220 - Karma: 241

whats a chute?

Mar 2 2011 9:27PM
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sack
Posts: 4881 - Karma: 147
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Mar 2 2011 9:32PM
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monkatizer
Posts: 4704 - Karma: 1,518
on a pretty cold day: a bunch of snowguns are running and a gaper on the same chair as me says to his gaper friend"if they dont start shoveling that snow (the pile the snowgun is making) it will freeze and there will be a big lump there forever" and his friend replys "yea dude, i would hate to have the job of shoveling those piles of snow, they must need to use metal shovels 'cause its so hard" and his friend replys "they should get new snowblowers that dont make piles"

i was just laughing my ass off inside and didnt say a word
Mar 2 2011 9:56PM
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jakobk
Posts: 308 - Karma: 11
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Mar 2 2011 9:58PM
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cum
Posts: 308 - Karma: 8
your a fucking tard...it does last longer...

the snow is MUCH more dense and spherical. Take it from someone who makes snow at home
Mar 2 2011 10:04PM
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Kreech
Posts: 4178 - Karma: 3,024
Hey dude are you Tom Wallisch, I heard he was a real good tricker...
uhhhh no......
Then what's that custom label on your booters?
Mar 2 2011 11:05PM
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j.saaaarela
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 856
apparently throwing your poles off the lift at my mountain is WUT DA KEWL KIDZ DOO.

Anyway, riding up 3 kings tonight, and right as we go over cobra dogs, a kid in front of me chucks his poles at some kid minding his own business, enjoying some eats. Luckily, he misses by a solid 2 feet. This scares the shit out of the kid below, while the kid in the chair ahead is laughing his ass off. The one that almost got hit takes one of the poles, and just leaves.
The guy on the chair i guess wasnt paying attention after his throw, so I tell him, "Hey, that guy you almost harpooned is taking your poles." The kid starts to flip shit, like he couldnt have expected that kind of reaction from his target.
The last thing I hear him say is, "well if he really takes them, I can get my dad to pull his pass."

sorry if that's incoherent, im pretty much asleep right now.
Mar 3 2011 12:01AM
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Evilchris
Posts: 2090 - Karma: 44
If a kid threw his pole at me I would take it and snap it in half right in front of him
Mar 3 2011 5:57PM
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pink_squid
Posts: 1188 - Karma: 368
hhahaha when i used to be a gaper
Mar 3 2011 6:24PM
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HitTheJim
Posts: 787 - Karma: 399
skiing away with it and then hutling it javelin style halfway into the woods is far more effective. Avoids you looking like a bitch if you fail to snap the pole.
Mar 3 2011 8:21PM
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