Member of the Month

hi_vis360
November, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

The best gaper quotes

profile picture
RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
profile picture
Evilchris
Posts: 2090 - Karma: 44
I must say, if you can ski true east coast trees and ice, you can pretty much ski on anything
Feb 15 2011 9:44AM
0 0
profile picture
Evilchris
Posts: 2090 - Karma: 44
(with dull edge park skis)
Feb 15 2011 9:45AM
0 0
profile picture
84891jnf92048
Posts: 11552 - Karma: 2,550

i must say, just as many great skiers come out of the west as the east.

Feb 15 2011 11:33AM
0 0
profile picture
Lemuel
Posts: 14494 - Karma: 10,635
Noob.

This one is from our very own Noss.
"Does it matter for the One Lifes which ski goes on which foot?"

Feb 15 2011 12:23PM
0 0
profile picture
ThaLorax
Posts: 21083 - Karma: 8,455
what's "noob" about that? good skiers come from everywhere.


and Noss was probably asking that because the One Life's have a graphic that fits together as a right and left pattern. It's not THAT bad of a question.
Feb 15 2011 12:34PM
0 0
profile picture
Lemuel
Posts: 14494 - Karma: 10,635
I'm just giving Nebula shit cuz I know him.

And there it is a pretty dumb question, it doesn't matter what ski goes on what foot, I have one lifes and I just put them down, the graphics only line up on the base so no one can even tell.
Feb 15 2011 12:37PM
0 0
profile picture
ThaLorax
Posts: 21083 - Karma: 8,455
looks to me like the graphic fits together....
Click for larger image
Feb 15 2011 12:38PM
0 0
profile picture
2ohthreeprod.
Posts: 155 - Karma: 30
so my friend has a pair of rossignol fks bindings
http://www.google.com/images?client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&hl=en&source=imghp&biw=800&bih=410&q=rossignol+bindings&gbv=2&aq=0&aqi=g2&aql=&oq=rossignol+bi

^ link for the kdis who dont know..

gaper: hey what are those pokey things?
friend: my bindings..
gaper: how do you get those off?
friend: i have an electronic car remote that when i hit the unlock button they shoot off my feet
gaper: really!?
friend: yea of course
gaper: sick! (gets on the lift)
Feb 15 2011 1:45PM
0 0
profile picture
i_shred
Posts: 28 - Karma: 10
so can someone please catch me up waat in the poop is a gaper. is it one of those crazy hooligans with way to big of jackets and pants with those double tipped skis?
Feb 15 2011 2:43PM
0 0
profile picture
Gnarshmellow
Posts: 304 - Karma: 30
hahahahaha... true
Feb 15 2011 3:02PM
0 0
profile picture
E.FARR
Posts: 1297 - Karma: 25
haha thats soo messed up but thats really hilarious
Feb 15 2011 3:05PM
0 0
profile picture
Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
You're kidding, right?
Feb 15 2011 3:14PM
0 0
profile picture
lanny94
Posts: 1374 - Karma: 165
No wat the heck Is a gaper
Feb 15 2011 3:20PM
0 0
profile picture
lanny94
Posts: 1374 - Karma: 165
Lol
Feb 15 2011 3:39PM
0 0
profile picture
Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
Click for larger image

Click for larger image

1. Gaper

A gaper is a skier or snowboarder who is completely clueless. Usually distiungished by their bright coloured clothes and a gaper gap, the gap between goggles and a helment/hat. Gapers also do the "Gaper Tuck" which is an attempt at being a ski racer by tucking, however, it is done incorrectly with the poles sticking straight up like thunderbolts and lighting, very very frightning! Gapers also sit at the bottom of jumps and try and go big off table tops in the park.

1. My eyes are burning from that gapers bright coloured clothes.

2. I fell off the chair laughing at that gaper tuck.

3. Did you just see that gaper getting landed on because he was sitting like a dumbass at the landing of a jump.


2. Gaper

A skier or snowboarder who sucks and is usually spotted wearing clothing from 1983, but other clothing styles for them do exist. A dead giveaway of a gaper is when their pants are tucked into their boots and the famous "Gaper Gap" (a gap between the helmet/hat and the goggles). Gapers sometimes temporarily inhabit the entrance to a terrain park. They will sit on their ass for a good 5-10 minutes talking about what they are going to do of a that "jump" or "rail" while everyone behind them goes before them and they stare at them with their mouth gaped open. Once they finally decide to leave their home at the entrance of the terrain park, the gaper will eventually decide to either roll over the jump and mess up all the lips, or they will try and actually hit the jump. If this occurs, they generally end up coming up half way short of the landing on their ass and yardsale, while the person behind them runs them over and/or yells at them. Gapers may also make turns or snowplow down green runs and sometime try to act cool by crouching and sticking their ski poles in the air but are totally oblivioius to the fact that they look even more stupid than they previously were. Gapers often find themselves on the top of a black diamond run because they are dumbasses and can't read a map. When they approach the run, they may either turn around, stare at it, sit down on the top of it, or just simply walk down the side of it. Gapers often have trouble getting on and off lifts and the lift operator gets really frustrated with them because he is required to stop the lift. A fun game to play while skiing or riding behind a gaper is called "Follow the Gaper". The game is played by following the gaper's path and looking as bad as they are. The game will usually last until they identify your presence, however it is possible to extend the game even past this point.

Feb 15 2011 4:00PM
0 0
profile picture
ThaLorax
Posts: 21083 - Karma: 8,455
you got trolled
Feb 15 2011 4:14PM
0 0
profile picture
sack
Posts: 4881 - Karma: 147
I like to line up the graphics on my k2s. if you're not any good at least you should look good! and if you don't look any good at least your skis should look good!
Feb 15 2011 5:17PM
0 0
profile picture
Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
i switch up which skis goes where, so i get even wear and tear on each ski.
Feb 15 2011 5:52PM
0 0
profile picture
Evilchris
Posts: 2090 - Karma: 44
this is true. But have you ever skied on 300 vertical feet of pure Ice? I wish I could ski on powder/ packed powder every day
Feb 15 2011 6:52PM
0 0
profile picture
84891jnf92048
Posts: 11552 - Karma: 2,550
oh, im from the east. Vermont specifically. so yeah.
Feb 15 2011 6:57PM
0 0
profile picture
ThaLorax
Posts: 21083 - Karma: 8,455
this is true. But have you ever skied on 1500 foot vertical feet with 3 feet of pure powder? I'm glad I ski powder/packed powder every day.
Feb 15 2011 7:11PM
0 0
profile picture
Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
It was no effort on my part, I just copied urban dictionary definititons.
Feb 15 2011 7:26PM
0 0
profile picture
KillaSeason
Posts: 3495 - Karma: 1,774
FUCK YOU MY UNCLE IS AUTISTIC YOU SLUT!!


DIE!!11!!!1111!!!!
Feb 15 2011 7:29PM
0 0
profile picture
ThaLorax
Posts: 21083 - Karma: 8,455
FUCK YOU MY COUSIN IS A SLUT YOU PERSON WITH AUTISTISM
Feb 15 2011 7:34PM
0 0
profile picture
84891jnf92048
Posts: 11552 - Karma: 2,550
FUCK YOU I FUCKED YOUR AUTISTIC SLUTTY COUSIN AND MY PARALYZED GRANDFATHER FILMED IT
Feb 15 2011 7:38PM
0 0
profile picture
DGski
Posts: 3491 - Karma: 2,328
when did you learn to helicoptor?
Feb 15 2011 7:38PM
0 0
profile picture
Oreos
Posts: 1207 - Karma: 38

Girls in a bar in Whistler: "These beers have gone straight to my head; must be the altitude"

"It's too powdery"

Sizing a guy for second hand skis:

Me: "are you a beginner, intermediate, advanced?"

Him: "I'm pretty much pro!"

Feb 15 2011 7:51PM
0 0
profile picture
Juice.Doctor
Posts: 2791 - Karma: 293
So you ski in the terrain park? Yes
Feb 15 2011 8:07PM
0 0
profile picture
Evilchris
Posts: 2090 - Karma: 44
never that deep. :( But I've skied out west and I understand how crazy better it is. :( I'm not bashing the west coast, just kinda saying that ice is really fucking hard to ski (well)
Feb 15 2011 8:21PM
0 0
profile picture
Film.
Posts: 2649 - Karma: 2,296
Gaper on Chairlift:"What is your guys favorite mountain range in Colorado (we thought he meant to ski in) We said the gore range the mountain range where vail is.Gaper: o ive never heard of that mountain range my favorite is keystone. Us: Sighhhhhhh
Feb 15 2011 8:40PM
0 0
profile picture
marlon-d
Posts: 33 - Karma: 9
him:hey, do you snowboard?
me: no i ski.
him:what kind of skiing do you do?
me: park and pow.
him: whats your best trick?
me: i am not hat good. i just started skiing park this year. 360 tail grab is my best trick.
him: oh nice....... i can FRONTFLIP!!!

another:

i overhear a kid in my class talk about how amazing he is at snowboarding and how he has been snowboarding for 3 years so he is absolutely amazing... *sigh*.

me: hey, i ski. where do you board?
him: board? What?
me:... snowboard
him: oh... just places close.
me: what kind of boarding do you do?
him:...
me: *sigh*... snowboarding...
him:... OH! i trick snowboard.
me: Really...
him: oh yeah. its so much harder to do tricks then skiing!
me:... right. enlighten me...
him: THE GRABS ARE FRICKIN INSANE FOR SNOWBOARDING!!!!!!
me:... *walks away*
Feb 15 2011 8:47PM
0 0
profile picture
JWoods
Posts: 2369 - Karma: 2,635
Ahh no, I think I remember seeing something of the sort go down in Main Park
Feb 15 2011 10:08PM
0 0
profile picture
ShreddAZ
Posts: 2548 - Karma: 41
gaper pointed out to his kid my jacket and totally miss promounced Saga as Sagg-a
Feb 15 2011 10:50PM
0 0
profile picture
SweatyBallShack
Posts: 2857 - Karma: 58
went on a ski trip with my school and heard some GREAT ones...

"do they rent stunt skis there?"-my buddy joe
"oh good, this one has a seat belt on it."-random lady in the lift line

this one isn't really that gaper but I thought it was funny. This girl shows our teacher her 80's ski jacket. "that thing is straight out of Borat..."-Mr. McMorris. lol
Feb 15 2011 11:04PM
0 0
profile picture
The.Ginger
Posts: 978 - Karma: 13
nonetheless, you still got trolled
Feb 16 2011 12:00AM
0 0
profile picture
SweatyBallShack
Posts: 2857 - Karma: 58
i didn't her this becuause I was screwing around after I fifnshed eating, but my friend said some family went buy and one of them said "always lean back and use your sticks." oh and a teacher I used to have told me this story: She was invited to go skiing with her friend and had never been before. They told her she would probably only have to ski on the bunny slope, but she was worried about the ski lifts. They told her it had a rope tow that you hold onto and it pulls you up. she replied with "how high off the ground is it?" haha
Feb 16 2011 12:11AM
0 0
profile picture
stickski
Posts: 1938 - Karma: 1,529
these dumb girls at lunch were telling me that I must not be good enough to be pro (im not) because if I was I would have already made "the team" apparantly theres some team you must make to be a professional and only people on this team can be professional skiers and go to the olympics... dang i wish i was good enough to make the u.s. slopestyle ski team and go to the olympics!
Feb 16 2011 5:34PM
0 0
profile picture
Waldo-
Posts: 1026 - Karma: 184
if only slopestyle was olympic....then thered be a team
Feb 16 2011 5:48PM
0 0
profile picture
Jamartini
Posts: 408 - Karma: 1,663
Gaper: Do you do tricks
Me: Yeah
Gaper:My Dad can do a helicopter
Me:Whats that?
Gaper: Its were you go upsidedown and spin like a hellicopter
Feb 16 2011 8:12PM
0 0
profile picture
SweatyBallShack
Posts: 2857 - Karma: 58
not a quote, but i saw some dude on a set of like 220s with pointy tips do the biggest most extended spread eagle i've ever seen. it was epic
Feb 16 2011 8:15PM
0 0
profile picture
JMF
Posts: 193 - Karma: 17

where did you see this? Snowbasin?

Feb 16 2011 11:48PM
0 0
profile picture
snowbombz
Posts: 2456 - Karma: 96
my mom after i broke my skis: "why don't you stop skiing park (dead seriously) because your skis break"
Feb 16 2011 11:53PM
0 0
profile picture
SweatyBallShack
Posts: 2857 - Karma: 58
Nope. Sugar mtn in North Carolina. The place has some decent terrain, but it does a horrible job of using it and it strictly caters to racers and one time skiers
Feb 17 2011 12:08AM
0 0
profile picture
JMF
Posts: 193 - Karma: 17
aww i feel ya. me and some guys were having a gaper day at basin during dew tour and one budy was on 222s doing mad old school imitations
Feb 17 2011 12:13AM
0 0
profile picture
SteezySmiley
Posts: 61 - Karma: 14
"Do those tips on the back of your skis make you ski better?" - Today on the lift to Sunshine
Feb 17 2011 12:42AM
0 0
profile picture
Double-U
Posts: 93 - Karma: 74
Just seconds ago got "Did you see the corkscrew double backflip in the x-games."
Feb 17 2011 11:30AM
0 0
profile picture
incognegroe
Posts: 84 - Karma: 10
i get this all the time

"Hey i think you bought your shirt a couple sizes too big"

Feb 17 2011 11:49AM
0 0
profile picture
84891jnf92048
Posts: 11552 - Karma: 2,550
the correct answer is yes.
Feb 17 2011 5:00PM
0 0
profile picture
Juice.Doctor
Posts: 2791 - Karma: 293
I'm sure it is too big
Feb 17 2011 6:40PM
0 0
profile picture
ktd619
Posts: 927 - Karma: 96
So i have a gopro on my helmet and i ski at the crappiest/noobiest place in the world (alpine its in ohio) and a kid asks me "is that a flashlight on your head?" my response "no its a laser"
Feb 17 2011 6:47PM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-5)