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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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j.saaaarela
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 856
haha excellent first post, good sir.
Jan 23 2011 10:32PM
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binturong-qwerty
Posts: 1506 - Karma: 146
heard it from oboe
two black guys on a lift "Yo imma stomp that nike box", referring to a curved up box
Jan 23 2011 10:38PM
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KillaSeason
Posts: 3495 - Karma: 1,774
I get that all the time about my spks at my mountain too.
Jan 23 2011 10:42PM
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sack
Posts: 4881 - Karma: 147
at my mountain, like at all mountain there is no end of retard parents trying to "teach" their children how to ski by putting them in between their legs or putting them on a leash (the bane of my existence.)
however me and my coworkers have witnessed the following, the golden wheelchairs of mount seymour, shall we call them...
-a man trying to teach his wife how to ski by having her ski in between his legs like a small child
-a guy carrying a baby under his arm while he skied down the mountain
-a man teaching his son how to ski by holding a pole between his son's legs and skiing behind him, basically giving him a pole wedgie all the way down the bunny hill. as a man you would think he would know not to do this?
Jan 23 2011 11:11PM
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SkiThe603
Posts: 5376 - Karma: 498
this
Jan 23 2011 11:13PM
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d0w0rk24
Posts: 6 - Karma: 13
That's actually an awesome name for it. But you gotta say it as NIKE not NI-KEY
Jan 24 2011 12:47AM
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Crispy.
Posts: 6112 - Karma: 7,692
http://www.ehow.com/video_2366804_do-spread-eagle-jump-skis.html hahaha
Jan 24 2011 9:02PM
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Bi-ShredinalGuy
Posts: 1075 - Karma: 321
is that a new course? do they make new tracks every year? and what happens when the cart falls off of the rope?
Jan 24 2011 9:38PM
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Panda_with_Guns
Posts: 3040 - Karma: 1,620
not a quote, but yesterday i saw a man carrying one kid in one arm, and guiding the other kid between his legs while going down a green. and i saw a snowboarder in jeans and a hoodie, no goggles, crash 3 times going down a 30 foot catwalk
Jan 24 2011 9:49PM
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Gstrong
Posts: 4776 - Karma: 519
the other day i just got on the chair single and some kid around the same age of me asked my if i was pro, i lol'd pretty hard
Jan 25 2011 12:45AM
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DeSANTIS
Posts: 145 - Karma: 37
"Twisters are super gnarly dude"
Jan 25 2011 9:29AM
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aus10
Posts: 13 - Karma: 19

My friend and I were standing in the lift line and the guy behind us( a fat snowboarder) taps us on the back.

him: hey guys, hows the trick hill today? us: you mean the park? him: ya, the trick hill. us: oh, its pretty good. him: oh, so the rails are nice and slppery? us: sure.

we saw him later in the day from the chairlift hitting a rail in the park, he slipped off after 2 feet and hit his stomach on the rail.

Jan 25 2011 9:42AM
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Abangin
Posts: 59 - Karma: 15

Gaper: armada huh? i have twin tipers to but i cant seem to go backwards...

Me: Ummm sweet (wtf am i supposed to say to that haha)

Jan 25 2011 10:41AM
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SKIWAGEN
Posts: 497 - Karma: 313
my gaper friend asked me if i was skiing the next day, it was thursday. I said yeah, are you gonnna watch the big air comp on saturday? he said " no are you in it?" i was like no im filming and i said a few of my friends are in it. he proceeded to ask me if they were going to do mike wallisch shit. i thought he was joking. he wasnt. i laughed and was like "mike hornbeck?or tom wallisch?" he was like i dunno." i was confused"

he went sking that friday with us and bet me 5 bucks i couldnt do the easiest green switch. i won 5 bucks hehe
Jan 25 2011 12:42PM
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chicken
Posts: 6843 - Karma: 2,121
how the hell did you learn to ski?
Jan 25 2011 1:41PM
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.cam.
Posts: 1852 - Karma: 48
STEEZY!!!!!
Jan 25 2011 5:34PM
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sack
Posts: 4881 - Karma: 147
I pointed my skis down the mountain and skied. I learned what not to do by falling. I was an ice skater and snowboarded for many years so I just taught myself parallel skiing.
and using a leash or putting the child between an adult's skis (with the adult going forward) is the worst way to introduce a child to skiing. they learn nothing about control, balance, independence or proper turn shape
so yeah they are gapers. it's fine if you want to teach your child to ski, but that^ isn't teaching.
Jan 25 2011 5:46PM
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AltaUtah
Posts: 56 - Karma: 73
hahaha putting your child between your legs is perfectly fine unless your training them to be picaboo street by the time they're 7. They're just showing their kids a good time on the mountain and it is in no way gaper of them. give them a break
Jan 25 2011 6:10PM
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sack
Posts: 4881 - Karma: 147
I disagree, once they can stop and turn using a pizza theres no reason to use any restraining device. until then, you ski backwards in front of them or use an edgie wedgie, which takes 1 to 3 1-hour sessions for most kids. trust me they have a lot more fun that way.
Jan 25 2011 6:36PM
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Wiscompton
Posts: 152 - Karma: 11
Me and my friends were going down an easy run to get to a lodge and I buttered a little 3 then went switch for awhile and all these old gaper chicks started clapping and shit.
Jan 25 2011 7:58PM
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.squirrely.
Posts: 7563 - Karma: 7,546
haha advanced ski trick
Jan 25 2011 8:33PM
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j.saaaarela
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 856
I was sitting on the lift one chair ahead of two 13 year old snowboarders, and as we pass the jump line, they yell to some guy at the top "THE SPEED IS STRAIGHT IN, BOMB ASS OR YOU WON'T MAKE IT," when the speed is really 2-3 big scrubby turns. at first i thought they were kidding, but then the guy drops, tucking in to this jump whlie I'm yelling at him to slow down. Overshoots about 30 feet past the knuckle, and completely explodes, at which point I look back and the two snowboarders are high-fiving and cheering. the kid had to be taken down by patrol.
Jan 30 2011 6:45PM
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luc
Posts: 1000 - Karma: 607
she's totally right!  the worst is, when they go through the park with their kids between the legs...
Jan 30 2011 6:57PM
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monkatizer
Posts: 4704 - Karma: 1,518
i was going up the lift with some gaper girls (12-13 yrs)and there bragging to eachother how they went down a double black diamond (the terrain park) and how it was so much esier then they thought. then thier friend says that its only a double black diamond if u do the "slides" and the "tricks" (refering to the rails and jumps). then the other girls are like "ok so if we go on the big flat slide, then we did a double black diamond?" so they go to the long wide box and eat shit because they fell off early (going straight) and started going switch until their tails dug in.

WOW that s looonnnggggg
Jan 30 2011 7:09PM
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Flying~Squirrel
Posts: 6494 - Karma: 192
im not a jibber, i ski more back country and i raced when i was younger. we were going up the hill at my home mountain and a kid in the chair behind us start yelling that we fags and that he wanted to race us.
this kid is skiing on line invaders, no poles, those aweful, non-waterproof snowpants, and a big as jibber jacket. tool. were like, okay well race you, but you will lose, and there is nothing you can do about it. i am a damn good skier, kid. as we skate away off the start, leaving them behind immediately, i heard this kid yell at us to "stop at the rail, i need to sit down!" heres to all the jibbers who actually hit features and can do tricks, not just look at them.
Jan 30 2011 7:18PM
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SCUBASTEVE24
Posts: 5 - Karma: 10
gaper: are those dual tips on thems skis
me:yea the are
gaper: what are they for?
Jan 30 2011 8:45PM
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.Ian.
Posts: 1568 - Karma: 72
read my sig.
Jan 30 2011 8:55PM
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.squirrely.
Posts: 7563 - Karma: 7,546

hahaha

Jan 30 2011 8:57PM
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WAWARIDER
Posts: 222 - Karma: 10
Steven hahahahahaha
Jan 30 2011 9:21PM
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klayer_9
Posts: 2037 - Karma: 188
Classic, happens to me at Alta a lot for some reason.
Jan 30 2011 9:58PM
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KillaSeason
Posts: 3495 - Karma: 1,774
Click for larger image
Jan 30 2011 9:59PM
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84891jnf92048
Posts: 11552 - Karma: 2,550
wat
Jan 31 2011 12:03AM
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POWDER.RANGER
Posts: 1698 - Karma: -24
yesterday i was headin up one of the more gaper - frequent lifts at my mountain and on the way up we see someone being taken down in a toboggan to first aid and the gaper kid sitting next to me tells his dad that "it looks like alot of fun"
Jan 31 2011 12:43AM
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Flacko
Posts: 1495 - Karma: 788

ive had kids ask me if i attached tow skis toghether and when i say no they dont believe me

also ive had kids scrape the snow off my skis and ask if theres any thig but knives on them

and of couarse ive been told by gapers that ur not allowed to ski in the "snowboarding" park

Jan 31 2011 1:48AM
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ChillTeenDad420
Posts: 1858 - Karma: 5,512
so my teacher looks at the kid next to me lookin at the shifty/tap homepage photo on newschoolers.

"what is he doing? is he snowboarding on skis?"
Jan 31 2011 1:51AM
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ThaLorax
Posts: 21083 - Karma: 8,455
I'm with 2 other people, me being on CRJ's, one other person on Volkl Walls, and a girl on k2 missdemeaners. Guy taps my shoulder in the lift line at ABasin:

Guy: "I see your skis are all the same. What is the point of that?"
Me: "What?"
Guy: "Your skis, what is the point of them?
Me: "Well.... mine are for powder I guess?
Guy: "So, you're saying they're specifically designed for skiing powder and that's it?
Me: "Basically, yeah"
Guy: "I noticed how soft your skis are when you were bending the front of your skis. What's the point of that?"
Me: "for fun?"

I kinda just ignored him after that.
Jan 31 2011 2:01AM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
Rediculous.

Your banana man was dancing to my song's beat at the time hehe!
Jan 31 2011 12:11PM
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Flying~Squirrel
Posts: 6494 - Karma: 192
first day out on volkl gotamas and a lady on the chair lit asks me "hey ,are those skis for jumping?" i was just like, "what?"
Jan 31 2011 2:03PM
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belden...
Posts: 2914 - Karma: 1,274
yeah i was gonna say not far off
Jan 31 2011 2:37PM
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joshua
Posts: 5046 - Karma: 1,280
Watching X-games big air, my dad says, "Those guys are pretty young, look they don't even have their beards yet."
Not really a gaper quote yeah.
Jan 31 2011 2:38PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
Still odd..

what a weird thing to say...
Jan 31 2011 3:46PM
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nCrow
Posts: 1207 - Karma: 7,887
stuff about twin tips
Jan 31 2011 4:12PM
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Wiscompton
Posts: 152 - Karma: 11
Lol okay so at Granite Peak this weekend me and my friends were near the bunny hill and under the lift so there were tons of gapers riding it.  3 times in like a row all these old dudes were yelling at me saying stuff like, "Hey a helmet cam!" and I'd look up and they'd wave at the GoPro and smile and try to be all cool....  Man they love those things.
Jan 31 2011 8:27PM
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extravert
Posts: 1112 - Karma: 3,174
While watching the X Games:

gaper: are they allowed to ski backwards?
Jan 31 2011 10:15PM
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.Ian.
Posts: 1568 - Karma: 72
Hahaha thats great
Jan 31 2011 10:17PM
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RiddleMeThis
Posts: 749 - Karma: 117
my dad called me and told me how good my "helicopter" was... 360 dad.. 360
Jan 31 2011 10:23PM
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blatt
Posts: 5584 - Karma: 3,097
the following conversation is between my uncle (hasnt skied in a few decades...) and I:
uncle-So what do you do when skiing?
me- I freestyle ski
uncle- like with the bumps?
Jan 31 2011 10:29PM
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Gnarshmellow
Posts: 304 - Karma: 30
at the drop in for a jump line i said to my friend, "i think ill just do a floaty switch 1" a near by gaper asked "whats switch?"  as i dropped in  i said "backwards." gaper: "waaaaa?!"
Jan 31 2011 10:35PM
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ThaLorax
Posts: 21083 - Karma: 8,455
that's not even a gaper comment. bump skiing is a type of freestyle.
Jan 31 2011 10:36PM
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j.saaaarela
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 856
Walking into school today "did you see Torston Hurgma's triple cork?" I pulled up the video on his phone and asked him how it was not triple backflip. he just said that that was what the announcers said...

Someone tried to tell me that Superpipe was the snowboard event, and Halfpipe was the skier event.
Jan 31 2011 10:36PM
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