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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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JimiC
Posts: 196 - Karma: 16
i always get "do those pipes ruin your skis?"
Jan 3 2011 11:00AM
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Evilchris
Posts: 2090 - Karma: 44
and the answer is "yes"
Jan 3 2011 12:21PM
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YoungQuinton
Posts: 613 - Karma: 98
I was getting my skis on to get on the first lift of the day, and i noticed a Mother and Father having trouble getting their little daughters' second binding clicked in. I tried to help:

Me- Excuse me her binding won't click in because she has some snow on the bottom of her boots...
Gaper Dad- (with an attitude that is like i have no idea what the hell I'm talking about) NO. its a problem with her bindings.

*They then proceeded to say "Oh...its one of those weird bindings." and flip up her heel piece and try to click her in with the binding closed.*

At that point, I skied away seeing that they would just ignore anything i said.


Jan 3 2011 2:48PM
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Isabelle
Posts: 947 - Karma: 1,582
some people are so dumb
Jan 3 2011 2:49PM
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BITS
Posts: 1808 - Karma: 866
oh youre cool then
Jan 3 2011 3:00PM
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Yinzer
Posts: 1011 - Karma: 73
Yeah and all the fuckin children figured out that if you cut right after jump num 3 between the drop for num 4 and the trees you may get enough speed to clear them. Except the fuckers weren't going anywhere and would just stop on top the landing and stand there. I got pissed enough to hit the jump and tail tap one of the kids in the head.
Jan 3 2011 3:14PM
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switchington
Posts: 277 - Karma: 14
if you were controlled enough not to knock the kid off his feet then +k
Jan 3 2011 3:41PM
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future-spins
Posts: 395 - Karma: 900
i am a instructor at my mountain and the other day in a frestyle lesson one of my kids said to do a "fish tail" so i asked what is a fish tail and he said it is a flipy spin trick that shawn wight can do...
Jan 3 2011 3:55PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
oh cool.
Jan 3 2011 4:19PM
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monkatizer
Posts: 4704 - Karma: 1,518
the other day some dude i sitting on my chair and a preson throws a cork 5 below.   the dude's kid asks what was that and he says     "well i think he did a tripple flip thing"
Jan 3 2011 5:32PM
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thatsG
Posts: 2568 - Karma: 1,772
Like This?

Click for larger image
Jan 5 2011 10:48PM
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j.saaaarela
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 856
i see wat you did there
Jan 6 2011 12:43AM
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alexg1687
Posts: 1505 - Karma: 1,581
yeah exactly like that. except on snow. and they were eating lunch off it
Jan 6 2011 5:34AM
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tall_t
Posts: 1036 - Karma: 15
lol i had nothing to do so i was posting
Jan 7 2011 5:03PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
Last few pages have been quality.
Jan 7 2011 5:09PM
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marlon-d
Posts: 33 - Karma: 9
yeah. ive had people see me 180 and then say: "whoa, that guy can ski backwards".
Jan 7 2011 7:57PM
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marlon-d
Posts: 33 - Karma: 9
got another. i was going up the charlift on the back side of lake louise...

him:so do you ski downill?
me:not really anymore, i ski powder and park.
him: you ski at playgrounds? thats mighty odd...
me:....ummm....
Jan 8 2011 12:05PM
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pinhead_larry
Posts: 891 - Karma: 20
Gaper:why are your skis so fat? Me:so i can ski pow easier. Gaper: well why would you want to ski that? Qctu
Jan 9 2011 12:06AM
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POWDER.RANGER
Posts: 1698 - Karma: -24
this made me slightly angry
Jan 9 2011 12:42AM
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Emma_Watson
Posts: 4491 - Karma: 6,797
OR SUSAN BOYLE
CUSSHES A PRO



in my book
:PPPP
Jan 9 2011 12:51AM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
umm why? And change your icon dude I thorght you were T-Holt...
Jan 9 2011 12:52AM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
umm why? And change your icon dude I thorght you were T-Holt...
Jan 9 2011 12:53AM
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pinhead_larry
Posts: 891 - Karma: 20
Sorry i didnt realize you said that
Jan 9 2011 3:54PM
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Steezyiott
Posts: 474 - Karma: 440

gapers: do a backflip or frontflip!

me:nah i cant do them, but like a 7?

gapers: YA do that!

I do it, gapers come down

gapers: oh my god! that was so sick!!!

preceeds to snowplow away

Jan 9 2011 4:29PM
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ChrisSkisChronic
Posts: 1128 - Karma: 230
Not really funny... at all, but:  I saw some chick who was completely out of control absolutly SLAM a tree yesterday. Holy shit, she got decked. It was brutal. She walked down the hill on her own power, I was surprised she could even get up.

Jan 9 2011 4:42PM
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Crehm
Posts: 951 - Karma: 842
sounds pretty funny... I saw someone get owned by a lift pole last year
Jan 9 2011 5:00PM
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crab_pretzel
Posts: 3919 - Karma: 622
so my friend is new to skiing and i like him but hes still a gaper

me: hey man i just got new skis. theyr twin tips
gaper: whatdaya mean twintips??
me: the fronts the same as the back
gaper: well thats dumb your skis are gonna stik into the snow
me: what?
gaper: u kno, if the front and back are both flat...

I sigh and just walk away
imean how do you not even see them around the mountain?
Jan 9 2011 5:02PM
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crab_pretzel
Posts: 3919 - Karma: 622
k i cant really describe my physics teachers personality but he always explains things like this.

talking about acceleration:
teacher: now if he doesn't move after he lets go of the tow what might happen as friction slows him down?? now you'd need insane balance and its not actually possible but he would go-- thats right-- backwards!! he would start to ski down backwards! now this could be like an xgames event but youd have to pretty jacked up on monster.

at this point i just put my head down and didn't even bother to tell him how stupid he was
Jan 9 2011 5:14PM
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Andi_G
Posts: 3083 - Karma: 15,098
^ lol
Jan 9 2011 6:23PM
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crab_pretzel
Posts: 3919 - Karma: 622
my friends sister works at a ski shop and he thinks he could do a better job than her

sister: nuh-uh you dont know anything about skiing
friend: yea id do
sister: name all the ski brands you can think of
friend: (says a bunch)
sister: your still forgetting like the biggest one; its starts with a "B"
friend: you mean Burton?
sister: yea, and you forgot it
friend just walks out

how can you work at a ski shop and still be a gaper?
Jan 9 2011 7:36PM
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geet
Posts: 2436 - Karma: 6
i got this one yesterday. we had maybe 6 inches of snow the night before. A lady im riding up the chairlift with says they must have made snow while it was snowing last night because it is amazing out there
Jan 9 2011 7:44PM
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.squirrely.
Posts: 7563 - Karma: 7,546
thats funny

and i was riding in the car with my friend the other day:
him: i went skiing last night.
me: cool how was it?
him: it was good.  the park looked good.
me: oh you do the park?
him: yah i always hit the sides of the jumps and get huge air. like yesterday i almost got enough air to do like a backflip.

i didnt answer and  looked out the window for the next 5 minutes.
Jan 9 2011 8:28PM
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binturong-qwerty
Posts: 1506 - Karma: 146
She is right
How could he forget the hyphy sticks?
Jan 9 2011 9:26PM
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dantron88
Posts: 55 - Karma: 10
i started working at a ski shop over winter and saw alot of customer gaperness!
in my first week i started to familiarise myself with the rental gear, i was messing around with the rental bindings and my boss came over face-palmed and explained to me that i head the skis facing the wrong way on the rental bench. to see the numbers on the side of the bindings i had the ski the wrong way (tips facing left) so i had to lean right over the ski to set the bindings.
another good story was a woman who brought in her boot to get her bindings checked up on. she had some ancient rear entry boots with no inners. i asked her where her inners were and she looked at me with a blank stare and told me that she was just going to wear 2 pair of extra thick socks. ended up selling her some brand new womens boots after politely  explaining that using her old boots would be a very very bad idea haha.
i also spent alot of time explaining to customers that they should let the shop set their bindings and not do it themselves.
Jan 9 2011 9:51PM
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Gnarshmellow
Posts: 304 - Karma: 30
a gaper with ski blades "im doing this next"
and by doing it he ment riding over the lip
Jan 9 2011 9:57PM
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monkatizer
Posts: 4704 - Karma: 1,518
haha that was at bristol  aka gaper mountain except for the legit park riders
Jan 9 2011 10:22PM
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That_Afterbang=]
Posts: 140 - Karma: 10
Haven't had any of these until today.
On the chair lift a 50 year old lady told me she liked my "Double tips" and asked me if mounted them to far forward :| .
I was in the park on my first run so I usually just straight air to get the feeling for it. So I hit the kicker and do a critical grab. Some kid at the top asked my friend if I was thinking of going pro.
Jan 9 2011 11:12PM
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Daydreaming
Posts: 1686 - Karma: 48
KILL IT WITH FIRE
Jan 9 2011 11:17PM
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JustDidIt
Posts: 2194 - Karma: 160
I've gotten so many comments about my SPKs. People asking if I wore the right boots and if they were supposed to be like that haha
Jan 10 2011 3:40PM
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Gnarshmellow
Posts: 304 - Karma: 30
same here

and awesome icon
Jan 10 2011 6:29PM
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KillaSeason
Posts: 3495 - Karma: 1,774
damn those crazy fuckin asians at bristol!!
Jan 10 2011 8:09PM
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j.saaaarela
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 856
people ask me if im wearing snowboard boots. now i just say yes to mess with them.
Jan 10 2011 10:06PM
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dkilgoreNH
Posts: 99 - Karma: 23
not a quote but mid holiday week, im stopped on the side of a trrail about to drop into a cruiser run. i hear the scratching of skis to ice and then a gaper skis over my blends and off into a tree, and goes " Oh jesus, You shouldnt of been there!" i replied"yeah youre right" and skied away as she was picking up her yard sale.
Jan 10 2011 10:36PM
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alexg1687
Posts: 1505 - Karma: 1,581
im gonna be an absolute newbie here and ask something....where did the term yard sale come from??
Jan 10 2011 10:40PM
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Pool.
Posts: 2820 - Karma: 662
so i wore my 2x jiberish to school today and immediately i got comments about "wearing a dress" to school from this douchebag in my history class, so i tell him that i bought it for skiing, and he proceeds to tel me that no peice of cothing no matter what its for should pass your waist
Jan 10 2011 10:43PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
You crash and your shit goes all over, like items spread out on a lawn for a yard sale.  At least that's what I always assumed.
Jan 10 2011 10:58PM
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Lemuel
Posts: 14494 - Karma: 10,640
LOL, I will never go back to wearing hoodies that reach my waste / above. I don't like my shirt being bunched up thank you very much.
Jan 10 2011 11:27PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
Is mid-thigh ok?
Jan 11 2011 9:52AM
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Kimbo~Slice
Posts: 522 - Karma: 194
erry body likes to see a bit of thigh ;) lol

no homo btw
Jan 11 2011 6:46PM
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K-Dubs
Posts: 334 - Karma: 454

gaper- so who's he hot dog in your family

gaper-twin tips... hmm, are those for ski ballet or whatever you call that place

Jan 11 2011 9:34PM
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