Member of the Month

hi_vis360
November, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

The best gaper quotes

profile picture
RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
profile picture
.skiperisher.
Posts: 323 - Karma: 83
yep and i get it ten times worse when i read them in australia
Nov 29 2010 11:43PM
0 0
profile picture
Trojan~Man
Posts: 1996 - Karma: 1,357
lol havnt seen this thread in forever :P stoked.
Nov 30 2010 10:34AM
0 0
profile picture
rudager
Posts: 11335 - Karma: 4,624
I don't know how many people out there have had experience dealing with the public and One Lifes. Seriously, the looks I get are almost as funny as the comments. There are just too many dumb comments out there. The following is one I got on Saturday.

Guy: WHOA! Those things are crazy!
Me: Yuh
Guy: Are you alright?
Me: Sorry, what?
Guy: Well you broke your skis, did you crash bad?
Me: They aren't broken...They were designed like that.
Guy: Oh....Why?
Me: Powder, Big Mountain, anything really, helps the float.
Guy: Yea, but why are they bent?

I usually just give them a weird look, then leave.
Or I could be heard talking to my friends about it (they all tell me about the looks and comments I get). Usually enter the gondola saying I crashed and broke my skis in four symmetrical places.
Nov 30 2010 10:50AM
0 0
profile picture
unreal.shooter
Posts: 562 - Karma: 52
heard that one before
Nov 30 2010 11:05AM
0 0
profile picture
Yossarian
Posts: 1078 - Karma: 56
The best gaper moment thats ever happened to me was when I was working in a ski shop. I was setting up this guys rental bindings and you know being polite and talking to him and his family. The topic turns to me (basically Im Scottish and was working in NZ so they were like wtf are you doing here?!). So after a bit  the guy, dead serious, asks me

 "Do you really like skiing then?".

I honestly couldnt reply. I was in a ski shop, wearing ski related clothing (shop tshirt with ski brands on it) and he'd just learnt I'd gone from one side of the world to the other to ski.
What the fuck was he thinking the entire time?!

Most awkward gaper moment of my life....



Nov 30 2010 11:08AM
0 0
profile picture
basedjase
Posts: 2510 - Karma: 640
Well if you can't refrain from posting positive comments in here, just dont post at all. If the last 4 pages worth of quotes weren't stellar, than there is really no need to comment. No one want to see there post get shot down if they the poster think its funny and you dont. If you MUST be negative, do it in moderation and constructivly.
&yes, it was(to your most recent post).
Nov 30 2010 9:48PM
0 0
profile picture
Murricane
Posts: 34 - Karma: 11
Boarder: Why do you guys use poles?
Nov 30 2010 11:08PM
0 0
profile picture
Milksteak
Posts: 9948 - Karma: 833
Click for larger image

...
Nov 30 2010 11:28PM
0 0
profile picture
Milksteak
Posts: 9948 - Karma: 833
fuckfuckfuck...

wrong thread!!!
Nov 30 2010 11:34PM
0 0
profile picture
B_Sellegren
Posts: 126 - Karma: 21
lady from florida: i hate the cold snow it burns my face.
me: oh thats a bummer (sarcastically)
lady: oh is that why you kids wear bandanas???
me: um yeah, and i leave.
Nov 30 2010 11:49PM
0 0
profile picture
Ian.D
Posts: 1254 - Karma: 1,093
hahaha that pic is hilariously random
Dec 1 2010 12:21AM
0 0
profile picture
chardi
Posts: 5040 - Karma: 59
why is the gaper beating to the mountain?
Dec 1 2010 12:23AM
0 0
profile picture
Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
Ok then, I'm a noble guy, I admit after re-reading my posts I do sound like a jackass. So for that I apologize Bulbasaur.
Dec 1 2010 11:43AM
0 0
profile picture
Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
Also, I have a slightly gaper story finally! It's not great though since I am in the prairies and people rarely say stupid shit here with regards to skiing.
Dec 1 2010 12:02PM
0 0
profile picture
H4RV0L3V
Posts: 116 - Karma: 11
The best I've gotten was when I was skiing switch down a run out of the park which is under/beside the main lift some dude didn't see him, just heard it from above as I went by their chair.
"Hey that's dangerous, don't do that!!"

My friend responded with: "Skiing's Dangerous get over it"
Dec 1 2010 12:23PM
0 0
profile picture
Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
stupid Mobile NS!

Ahem:

I was getting fitted for new boots and I brought my skis in case a remounting was necessary (it was, cost a gruesome $80 CAD on my already bloated pricetag) and one shop tech asked if those were my Salomon skis.

I immediately said no as I don't own any Salomon skis, but then I saw he was referring to my '09 Line Anthems which happened to have a Salomon 'S' on them. I replied "Oh yes, those Line skis are mine."
Dec 1 2010 12:51PM
0 0
profile picture
Daydreaming
Posts: 1686 - Karma: 48
I did something kind of gaper today. I was skiing around and dropping little cliffs here and there and after stomping one I spun around to see how far downhill I had landed and then I caught an edge and fell backwards and nailed my head on the ground. Right below the lift too. From an outside perspective on the lift: there was some fool who dropped some puny cliff and then he tried to ski switch and he fell on his ass. It was pretty funny even though my ego and possibly the back of my head were bruised.
Dec 1 2010 6:04PM
0 0
profile picture
Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
i was skiing switch at wisp (in maryland, biggest icecube known to man) and caught some ice, freaked out, and ran right into a snowbank, winded myself, bruised my back and pretty much through off my groove for the rest of the day


Dec 2 2010 11:57AM
0 0
profile picture
Daydreaming
Posts: 1686 - Karma: 48
Yikes, that's worse than mine. I didn't get hurt or anything it was mostly just damaged ego
Dec 2 2010 12:02PM
0 0
profile picture
Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
dude i got wrecked. lay on the side of the trail for 10 minutes and then wheezed down to the lodge.
last time i left the park that season



jk
Dec 2 2010 7:30PM
0 0
profile picture
timmmay528
Posts: 202 - Karma: 15
I once got asked by a gaper if the "jumping park was open"
Dec 2 2010 11:15PM
0 0
profile picture
j.saaaarela
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 856
waiting in the lift line with my friend whose helmet is plastered in jiberish stickers while wearing a jiberish tall tee. Someone behind us says to their friend: "Wow that guy really likes the Jonas Brothers."
Dec 5 2010 12:11AM
0 0
profile picture
MichniakD
Posts: 58 - Karma: 25

at the parking lot putting boots on and a two gapers approched me...

Gaper: are those throwbacks?

me: aahh (confused), there full tilts.

Gaper: what are full tilts?, they look really old?

Gaper to other Gaper: those look really hard to ski with...

me: there brand new boots that tilt forward bro. (put on headphones and walked away)

Dec 5 2010 12:40AM
0 0
profile picture
Scrambles
Posts: 2270 - Karma: 63
Full tilts are identical to OLD Raclies(butchered the spelling)
Dec 5 2010 1:29AM
0 0
profile picture
Daydreaming
Posts: 1686 - Karma: 48
Close, Raichles.
Dec 5 2010 1:49AM
0 0
profile picture
MichniakD
Posts: 58 - Karma: 25

its not a college essay, i dont give a shit about the spelling. and im guessing the those old raclies or whatever you call'em are so old no one rides with them, so i dont know about them.

Dec 5 2010 2:22AM
0 0
profile picture
.squirrely.
Posts: 7563 - Karma: 7,546
i wear raichles and they are just as good as a pair of full tilts i had and i got them for $25(the raichles)
Dec 5 2010 8:11AM
0 0
profile picture
fricino13
Posts: 268 - Karma: 14
yeah, u act like total moron in this situation
Dec 5 2010 8:15AM
0 0
profile picture
Mr_pretzel
Posts: 4616 - Karma: 1,289
Sounds like your the gaper here.
Dec 5 2010 9:09AM
0 0
profile picture
ChrisSkisChronic
Posts: 1128 - Karma: 230
Quoted for truth.
Dec 5 2010 11:17AM
0 0
profile picture
no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,273
hahaha the only thing to make jibbers look like even bigger idiots
Dec 5 2010 11:23AM
0 0
profile picture
ButteredToast.
Posts: 6459 - Karma: 2,570
Seriously?

Lols how can they be just as good as FT? I know the designs are similar but still
Dec 5 2010 2:33PM
0 0
profile picture
Mr_pretzel
Posts: 4616 - Karma: 1,289
They are the exact same boot, just a different liner.

So you can save alot of money by buying a cheap pair of rachiels and then new liners.
Dec 5 2010 2:38PM
0 0
profile picture
ButteredToast.
Posts: 6459 - Karma: 2,570
Might have to try that...
Dec 5 2010 2:47PM
0 0
profile picture
Kimbo~Slice
Posts: 522 - Karma: 194
i was sat on this chair lift with this gapergoon and i tried to make conversation. Then he asked me what you call that trick where you spin around 360 degrees. I stopped talking to him.
Dec 5 2010 4:06PM
0 0
profile picture
H4RV0L3V
Posts: 116 - Karma: 11
You should've told him it was called a 'Whirly bird'
Dec 5 2010 4:09PM
0 0
profile picture
Sklar
Posts: 8864 - Karma: 31,612
i was messing around on a catwalk, and i was on tele.
I put my poles between my legs and went for the gaper tuck. being on tele i went forward and ate shit on to my shoulder.

messed up my shoulder and looked like a damn fool
Dec 5 2010 4:14PM
0 0
profile picture
bustinthejus
Posts: 2419 - Karma: 74
Wow you must've felt sooo good about yourself, eh?


Gaper 1:so what's your son doing this year, snowboarding or skiing?
Gaper2: I dunno, he kept blabbing something about "twin tips"...
Gaper 1: Oh! Those are the skis that u can go backwards on!
Gaper 2:Oh, I guess it's so that if he messes up and lands backwards, he's fine eh?
Dec 5 2010 4:16PM
0 0
profile picture
Kimbo~Slice
Posts: 522 - Karma: 194

hahaha and a 180 is a 'baby whirlybird'

Dec 5 2010 4:17PM
0 0
profile picture
Session
Posts: 5380 - Karma: 22,215
You're dumb as fuck, you can't act elitist to some gapers when you don't even know what the hell your're taking about. GAPER!
Dec 5 2010 4:25PM
0 0
profile picture
Toasty.
Posts: 6197 - Karma: 2,309

not really a gaper thing but,

i was in the park behind my house, havin a little pvc pipe session with a friend, and some german guy ( i live in germany) comes up and says something to me in german, i said English?? he said,          "your on the wrong hill" i laughed in side.

Dec 5 2010 4:28PM
0 0
profile picture
Dwight_Schrute
Posts: 579 - Karma: 18
Gaper: Are those kid's skis???
My friend: No, they're snowblades.
Gaper: Oh, I have some sick snowblades at home. They have Spiderman on them.
Dec 5 2010 4:55PM
0 0
profile picture
switchington
Posts: 277 - Karma: 14

i fucking hate snow blades.

they are for shit skiers

Dec 5 2010 5:01PM
0 0
profile picture
Goku
Posts: 8119 - Karma: 4,223
ULTIMATE SNOLLERBLADER SPOTTED AT BOYNE
photo cred: Me
Click for larger image
Dec 17 2010 9:19PM
0 0
profile picture
Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061

hahahaa theres like 4 inches of tail

Dec 17 2010 9:21PM
0 0
profile picture
tall_t
Posts: 1036 - Karma: 15

most gapers dont know about center mounting and stuff, so when i had my center mounted afterbangs on,   gaper dad: those must be short skis. me: theyre 177 cm. gaper son: ooh you have pictures on your skis. i show them my tails, then they start talking how they work and all that crap. HILARIOUS THREAD-INATOR

Dec 17 2010 9:47PM
0 0
profile picture
541
Posts: 506 - Karma: 45
about a year ago i was sitting on the lift 3 days after christmas with some random kid and his dad and the kid asked his dad what was for lunch, and then the dad said i dont know then kept asking me and he didnt undertand that you can pick what you want.
Dec 17 2010 10:05PM
0 0
profile picture
LivinontheLedge
Posts: 97 - Karma: 22

I was skiing with these two random kids from my school, i get ahead of the kid im with and he says

"You have some mighty goose tails"

That was about my twin tips...... wtf

Dec 17 2010 10:27PM
0 0
profile picture
Lemuel
Posts: 14494 - Karma: 10,640
Hahaha there was some snowblader bitching hardcore about the ski team making a jump at Sugarbush and he wasn't allowed to hit it. I was trying hard to hold back my laughter.
Dec 18 2010 12:40AM
0 0
profile picture
j.saaaarela
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 856
this years spk pros are pretty damn close. I love them sooo much
Dec 18 2010 3:10AM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-5)