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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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chardi
Posts: 5040 - Karma: 59
does anyone use the term 'grinding' anymore?
Sep 29 2010 12:45PM
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Sheltron3030
Posts: 1826 - Karma: 110
once saw a ten year old with GIANT ski boots on, walking around all weird...his ski instructor came up to him, and took his boots off. Under his ski boots, he was wearing sneakers still.

*standing at the top of the pipe*
Gaper: "is this the superpipe?"

*waiting for the bus at the breck transportation center*
TX plated car pulls up, rolls down the window, "Could you tell us where Breckenridge is?"

"What's a gaper?"

And then the absolute retardedness of Gapers that stop in the middle of a busy road/parking lot to unload/put on their gear. Do they not understand this blocks the already retarded amount of retard traffic trying to make it up the rest of the hill, where you are supposed to unload in the 'unloading' zone. ARG

Anyone with a sun burnt face in my opinion is a Gaper. That shit will kill you. USE SUNSCREEN.

Saw a gape at breck, out of control, couldnt stop or fall down to stop, hit a tree, and died. Seen it off the lift, gnarly.
Sep 29 2010 4:06PM
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Keeno
Posts: 36 - Karma: 14
That was a kid who used to live across the road from me. Pretty tragic stuff.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-505867/The-bright-caring-11-year-old-boy-killed-skiing-tragedy.html


Sep 30 2010 7:52AM
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pow_pow2
Posts: 161 - Karma: 19
...leaving the mens restroom at a restaurant. I'm wearing an Armada t-shirt and a guy walking into the bathroom says do you snowboard! WTF!
Oct 13 2010 9:17PM
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Mr.DarthVader
Posts: 1322 - Karma: 556
How much does an air guitar coast and how do the ice houses stay in the lake after the ice melts
Oct 13 2010 9:40PM
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Skithedeep
Posts: 645 - Karma: 39
I work for a passenger boat company that takes people into a national park and someone asked "at what elevation to dear turn to elk" and i thought it was the most ridiculous question ever asked, i am amazed that more than one idiot could come up with such a question
Oct 22 2010 5:56PM
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j.saaaarela
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 856
Nice first post, I missed this thread! :D
Oct 22 2010 6:28PM
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dom_daq
Posts: 371 - Karma: 440
Were in the ski line

her: Your touching my sons skis
me:So?
her: They are twin tips. ur gonna break them
me: If u dont trust me touching them, how do u ski with them?
she just leaves
Oct 22 2010 8:05PM
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.Midwest
Posts: 493 - Karma: 22
My school has an after-school ski club, and kids always make fun of my tall tee's.

It's funny though, because the same kid laughs at me for falling when I'm trying to butter, and then he eats shit just straight airing a jump.

I heard him telling his friend, "Dude, I probably got at LEAST 7 feet of air."
Oct 23 2010 12:49AM
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darsh.
Posts: 370 - Karma: 8
What does it mean to be a jib? BEST QUOTE
Oct 23 2010 2:00PM
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.Midwest
Posts: 493 - Karma: 22
On our school's field trip to go skiing, some kid brought a 5 dollar plastic snowboard from target...

Another gaper snowboarder said "Yeah, I hang out on the easy runs because I like to watch noobs fall." When I asked him why he wouldn't try any black diamonds.

I also know another gaper snowboarder who claimed "Yeah, last year I accidentally did a backflip 180, I forgot how to do it over the summer though." I pretended to be impressed, and asked what the coolest trick he could do now was, he said a 360 tailgrab. I said, "Cool, show me." He hooked an edge going up the jump and faceplanted. I later heard him telling his friend "I would've landed it too, its just that some idiot made a rut in the jump."

And I once saw a snowboarder with poles, he looked around 18-ish, and he held the poles upwards behind his back making an X.

Wow, what a text wall, last one: Saw a snowboarder fall off the lift, only like 10 feet or so, but I was like 2 lifts behind him, and they stopped the lift for like 15 minutes. I hated that kid.
Oct 23 2010 2:41PM
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mmallender.
Posts: 5805 - Karma: 936
you sound like a very bitter person who hates people who are worse than you
Oct 23 2010 2:47PM
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STR8W1CKD
Posts: 32 - Karma: 10

Sitting in my dorm watching Sammy Carlson's tribute to CR Johnson in revolver...kid down the hall: "Woah! Can you do that?"

and...

Friend's mom: "How do you stay balanced with such short poles?"

xD

Oct 23 2010 4:31PM
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jibnut
Posts: 3038 - Karma: 304
Some kid at our resort always wears a level 1 tall tee and he snowboards. It's no big thing until someone asked him why and if he knew it was a ski "brand". He said it was the only tall tee he could find. Haha, he's a nice kid though so no hate. But pretty funny.
Oct 23 2010 6:34PM
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.Midwest
Posts: 493 - Karma: 22
In my defense, the kid who claimed he accidentally did a backflip is an asshole. He's always making stuff up. The kid who rides the greens to watch newbies is pretty cool though, no hate intended.
Oct 23 2010 10:05PM
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binturong-qwerty
Posts: 1506 - Karma: 146
I showed my friend b dogs part in refresh and the first thing he said was...
"Whoah! That shit is crazy! Is that you?" He doesn't ski though so i dont blame him...
Oct 23 2010 11:10PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
...Aaaand just barely redeemed is this thread's credibility.
Oct 25 2010 9:41AM
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Oreos
Posts: 1207 - Karma: 38
best proper gaper quote in quite a while. well done.
Oct 25 2010 5:27PM
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Pudge
Posts: 3718 - Karma: 3,117
bump needed. today i was talking to my friend who got a job at my local mountain and he was stoked on the free stuff they gave him. i told him it was "gaper-wear" and he said, "Gaper-wear? not familiar with their stuff but it is so sick its all Karbon!"
Nov 20 2010 6:32PM
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*TURBONERD*
Posts: 15081 - Karma: 9,158
good stuff right there
Nov 20 2010 7:28PM
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TonyMacaroni
Posts: 1310 - Karma: 34
i told this kid in my class that i was the guy skiing for both tod wallnuts and jon brogan's parts in jiberish's 'do werk' and he believed me... people these days
Nov 20 2010 10:46PM
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AWALLRUS.
Posts: 5762 - Karma: 223
there was this fat german kid looking at a flat box and he asked me how do to it and i didnt really know how to answer, so i just hit it and did a 270 out and he yelled "im not fucking doing that"
Nov 20 2010 10:59PM
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Ducky.
Posts: 5811 - Karma: 1,420
"Do you have to go downhill to get speed?"

Got this in my history class last week.... good lord.
Nov 20 2010 11:06PM
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joshua
Posts: 5046 - Karma: 1,280
"That movie sucks." That's what my brother said when I suggested we watch Eye Trip instead of Gilligan's Island.
Nov 20 2010 11:15PM
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Emma_Watson
Posts: 4491 - Karma: 6,797
"Yeah i can do a helicopter with a spin"
Nov 21 2010 1:11AM
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basedjase
Posts: 2510 - Karma: 640
You seriously piss me off so much. In the last 4 pages, you have posted many times, all of which have either put down someone else, or just general negativity. Fuck off. Get out of this thread. If your going to contribute, do it in a way of positivity.
Nov 21 2010 1:37AM
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Juice.Doctor
Posts: 2791 - Karma: 293
thank you sir. +k
Nov 21 2010 9:05AM
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No_Dub
Posts: 3357 - Karma: 294
.
Nov 21 2010 9:39AM
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Emma_Watson
Posts: 4491 - Karma: 6,797
hahahahah
Nov 21 2010 11:32AM
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thesheik
Posts: 1488 - Karma: 18
first shot in muddy winter on the s rail

kid: "can you do that?"
me: "haha, no, that's really REALLY hard."
kid: "no, it's not. have you ever been skiing? it's not as bad as you think."
me: "yeah, i ski, but that's like...never mind."

people ask me all the time why i watch ski/bike movies. it's sort of hard to explain to people who just don't get it.
Nov 21 2010 11:40AM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
my mother approves of this thread.
Nov 21 2010 4:20PM
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Pool.
Posts: 2820 - Karma: 662
kid at my school: so i heard ur really good at skiing
me: yah kinda
kid: can u do backflips
me: no(sarcastically)
kid: oh then you must suck i bet im better than you, walks away with a look of disgust
Nov 21 2010 10:01PM
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Rob~
Posts: 143 - Karma: 16

 "wow your skis are so fat they're basically two snowboards."

hnggggggggggggggg

Nov 22 2010 1:28AM
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_Jeffrey_
Posts: 1651 - Karma: 572
best thread ever
Nov 22 2010 2:36AM
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Daydreaming
Posts: 1686 - Karma: 48
I have also been told this about my EP Pros

uuggggggggggghhhhhhhhh
Nov 22 2010 7:59AM
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NPCPLUS
Posts: 162 - Karma: -155
Riding rockers in the park..talking to a kid about his afterbangs and asking if he likes them..
Nov 22 2010 12:44PM
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NPCPLUS
Posts: 162 - Karma: -155
He then proceedes to ask me how I like my "goofers" referring to my skis
Nov 22 2010 12:48PM
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chardi
Posts: 5040 - Karma: 59
probably been said somewhere but it happens way too often:


you do rails on your skis? doesn't that ruin them?
Nov 22 2010 1:38PM
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Daydreaming
Posts: 1686 - Karma: 48
Click for larger image
Nov 22 2010 1:43PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
Well what should I do then (besides not posting here)? The last 4 pages have less than stellar quotes in general. I was not intending to sound negative in that last post, that guy's story was the best of recent ones that didn't questionably sound made up.
Nov 22 2010 1:52PM
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BITS
Posts: 1808 - Karma: 866
I was just watching Revolver in school, and this guy asks me:

Him: Why do they allways land backwards?
Me: They don't
Him: Yea, they do ... Look!
(LJ doing a dub rodeo 9)
Him: You see?
(Next up LJ stomps a switch dub 12)
Me: See what?
(He leaves)
Nov 22 2010 2:06PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
/\
yay a good one!

There, is that positve enough bulbasaur? (I was being sincere oscar, by the way)
Nov 22 2010 2:44PM
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BITS
Posts: 1808 - Karma: 866
Sorry, but i understand what you are saying :)
Nov 22 2010 4:49PM
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BITS
Posts: 1808 - Karma: 866
Haha, just me being confused. Never mind! :-)
Nov 22 2010 4:52PM
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SickNameHere
Posts: 113 - Karma: 14

"Dude, I just started skiing last year, and I CAN ALREADY DO A 180!"

"Whoa, you're awesome!"

Nov 22 2010 6:56PM
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Asterisk
Posts: 954 - Karma: 199
(me telling my dad I want to get my skis centre mounted)
Nov 22 2010 11:31PM
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Asterisk
Posts: 954 - Karma: 199
"back in my day we used to do helicopters of the moguls and we didnt have centre mounted skis" sorry dub post
Nov 22 2010 11:33PM
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openmindportrait
Posts: 1157 - Karma: 818
this one time at Crystal mt me and my friend got on the lift with some drunk gaper herse how it went

Gaper:HEY YOU GUYS EVER GO TO MT BAKER!!!
me:Sometimes
Gaper:I FUCKING LOVE THAT PLACE THERS GUYS THAT DROP 300 FOOTERS!!!!
me:cool bro
Gaper: YEAH YOU CAN EVEN JUMP OFF THE LIFTS
me:umm ok
Gaper:OH GOD (proceeds to fall 40 feet off the lift to flat) Fuck!!!
he actually got arrested because he failed to comply with ski patrol things
this was a true story
Nov 25 2010 12:27PM
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Evilchris
Posts: 2090 - Karma: 44
my family keeps telling me there isn't enough snow to go skiing yet :/ it's a lil gaper
Nov 25 2010 1:13PM
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_Jeffrey_
Posts: 1651 - Karma: 572
Me: I heard you went snowboarding.
Gaper: Yeah on opening day.
Me: I went the day after opening day it was kinda tracked out.
Gaper: Oh did they groom it?
Nov 29 2010 11:04PM
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