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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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es94
Posts: 291 - Karma: 67
51 pages later some of these are really starting to suck
Jul 20 2010 9:50PM
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SweatyBallShack
Posts: 2857 - Karma: 58

Haha one time I was on the lift with these 2 really serious racer dudes and I had borrowed my sisters lowriders... theyre pink... but I turned the ear thingys out and cranked the taylor swift up.

My favorite has to be the fishsticks thing though.

Jul 20 2010 9:53PM
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Z-Juice
Posts: 3151 - Karma: 1,504
"Warren Miller is the best skier ever"
Jul 20 2010 11:30PM
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Technine_Soldier
Posts: 4 - Karma: 10
Some gaper in the lift line was asking about my fresh '09' technine outerwear, board, and binding combo.. I didn't have the time of day to tell him it was 2010.
Jul 21 2010 5:26AM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
While gaper in the sense that I'm assuming he thought he was the best currently, he was and is a skiing legend.
Jul 21 2010 11:08AM
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Pudge
Posts: 3718 - Karma: 3,117
my cousin and i were in the life line earlier this year around march and some punk pointed to my cousins crjs and said
"4frnt blows and so does CR Johnson"

Jul 21 2010 12:48PM
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ChrisSkisChronic
Posts: 1128 - Karma: 230
Did you steal his esophagus?


Because you should have.
Jul 21 2010 12:53PM
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Sitch.
Posts: 841 - Karma: 13
best thread!
Jul 21 2010 1:00PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
im coming ill buy you mcd's
Jul 21 2010 1:10PM
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rickysick
Posts: 54 - Karma: -6
this
Jul 21 2010 7:01PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
Yeah? Well so is the show your icon comes from.
Jul 22 2010 11:40AM
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bjobe
Posts: 343 - Karma: 26

Gaper:hahaha.

Me: are you laughing at me..

Gaper: I used to be a kid once...hahaha.

Me; haha NO SHIT ASSHOLE!!

Jul 22 2010 4:49PM
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thesheik
Posts: 1488 - Karma: 18
watching some edit or another, kid next to me:
"why is that cool? he keeps screwing up and landing backwards."

Jul 22 2010 5:12PM
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Jaggy_Snake
Posts: 2287 - Karma: 1,418
This happened to me about an hour ago...

A ski Tech/instructor was looking at my Blends and he said to me: "Nice Jesters man"

Me: "Urr thanks, but they're Griffons. Jesters have orange on the toe piece"

Ski Tech: "Yeah, but they're all the same anyway"

Me: "I 'spose, just different DIN range"

And with that he walked off muttering something under his breath.

I 'spose it's not really a Gaper quote par say, just something funny that happened as I thought a ski tech/instructor would know a little about bindings...
Jul 22 2010 6:43PM
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Kitten.mittens
Posts: 84 - Karma: 10

another good one is

"Can u do nicknacs and dooddads on ur reversified skis?"

Jul 22 2010 7:48PM
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skiP.E.I.
Posts: 7825 - Karma: 21,869
A gaper got on the lift with me and, noticing my double ended skis, proceeded to point a camera at them and loudly exclaim OH MY GOD THOSE ARE DOUBLE ENDED SKIS, THEY'RE SO INTENSE, THEY'RE SO-O-O BEAUTIFUL!!! WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??!!!! and he carried on like this for the entire 3 minute lift ride to the point where he was almost crying. The guy was in such ecstasy over twintips, it was good to see and really funny too.
Jul 25 2010 11:31AM
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broto
Posts: 9039 - Karma: 25,664
just was thinking, this thread has been around for more than 2 years and the post before a green name gets on thread lasted under 48 hours and had 3 more pages.
Jul 25 2010 11:44AM
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Schlop
Posts: 3640 - Karma: 24
jibbinc./Kelsey's Facebook profile picture - Him and a friend doubling a jump and backflipping
Click for larger image
comments:
Ryan - Yo is that you and dylan backflipping
Kelsey - no we did 360's
Zachary - that's the most fucked up 360 i've ever seen
Jul 25 2010 12:11PM
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EthanJPAskier
Posts: 1668 - Karma: 248
I would have ripped that fuckers legs off.
Jul 25 2010 1:22PM
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CrunkNugget
Posts: 1279 - Karma: 16
i see what you did there
Jul 25 2010 5:04PM
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introvert
Posts: 4718 - Karma: 1,482
Yo that 270 on 270 off was so dope
Jul 25 2010 10:08PM
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Lemuel
Posts: 14494 - Karma: 10,640
A perfectly flat what?

And the one talking about his blends and griffons/ jesters, jesters don't have orange on them, they have red.
Jul 25 2010 10:31PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
Fuck off you idiot, that's been said 10 times over on this thread since that episode came out.
Jul 25 2010 10:35PM
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the-big-lepowski
Posts: 1212 - Karma: 541
how about the old one-two reach in chest cavity to yank out bloody heart and devour that shit still beating? much more appropriate to the situation.
I love the originality of gapers, because they are so oblivious to the sport and industry that they look ridiculous, and say snippets of unparalleled ignancy. In that spirit of moronic freshness, lets hear something other than the awkward self-gratification of a 13 year old who puts down an innocent newbie.

not particularly gaper, but I always smile when I see a snowboarder who overdoes the camo. Bad lieutenant, matching outerwear- just weekend warrior and his backfiring attempt to be BAMF. now legitimate hunting gear I approve of...
Aug 1 2010 8:58PM
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ChillTeenDad420
Posts: 1858 - Karma: 5,512
"holy crap did you see that arial yardsale!!!!" in reaction to Timmy D's crash in the revolver teaser
Aug 2 2010 4:36AM
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majora
Posts: 860 - Karma: 157
what is ski?
Aug 2 2010 12:48PM
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Rumi.
Posts: 1231 - Karma: 556
gaper: i don't even know what a gaper is.
Aug 2 2010 6:08PM
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SweatyBallShack
Posts: 2857 - Karma: 58
this thread is getting really retarded...
Aug 2 2010 6:10PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
...yeah, it is..
Aug 9 2010 12:18AM
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wilksker
Posts: 188 - Karma: -16
i think i like you
Aug 25 2010 3:47AM
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Isabelle
Posts: 947 - Karma: 1,582
who would want a gaper as a boyfriend :p
Aug 25 2010 6:43AM
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Lemuel
Posts: 14494 - Karma: 10,640
One of my friends is kinda a gaper, he snowboards but not as often as he would like to. He was going through the park at Stowe on northslope where there was like a 3 jump line, and he thought the area between the jumps was the halfpipe and the jumps/ landings were the walls.
Aug 25 2010 9:49AM
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Slettalaen
Posts: 366 - Karma: 120
"can you carve just like when you are riding forwards?"

"you forgot to take off your nightgown"
Aug 25 2010 10:54AM
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sack
Posts: 4881 - Karma: 147
he broke it off with me a while ago :D ...... thank goodness I don't have to endure another season with him
Aug 27 2010 1:05AM
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JonahA11
Posts: 399 - Karma: 40
ive gotten "how does the snow get to the top of the mountain"
Aug 27 2010 3:24AM
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afterbang_me
Posts: 385 - Karma: 152
DUDE!!!!! SLOW DOWN.  I DONT HAVE A STOMP PAD
Aug 27 2010 9:14AM
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Isabelle
Posts: 947 - Karma: 1,582
haha good for you! explaining everything to a gaper is pretty exhausting
Aug 27 2010 7:53PM
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Tsands
Posts: 229 - Karma: 629
I was in a shop with my friend
hes a snowboarder and a bit of a gaper.
we were talking to the shop guy about clothing.
then my friend suddenly said "wait Burton dont make clothing any more do they"
and there was heaps of burton shit in the shop but my friend jus made a complete fool out of him self in front of this guy
Kinda funny
Aug 31 2010 5:53AM
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E.C.
Posts: 3211 - Karma: 319
bummpp
Sep 28 2010 4:14PM
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Daydreaming
Posts: 1686 - Karma: 48
Here's a good one that I readily admit was me.
I was a gaper tard noob on TGR who didn't lurk enough and created some thread about a ski and got picked on (probably deserved it). Much butthurtness ensued. I eventually said, "I'll report you to an admin!" And I did. The Admin did not give a single fuck. (Why should he?)

I was such a retard then
Sep 28 2010 4:35PM
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Zimmerman
Posts: 6992 - Karma: 1,021
"What's LRG?"
Sep 28 2010 5:29PM
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mmallender.
Posts: 5805 - Karma: 936
duh, it means large.......
Sep 28 2010 7:38PM
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binturong-qwerty
Posts: 1506 - Karma: 146
I wore an LRG tall hoodie
and a guys looks at me and goes:
"That seems a little big to be a large"
Sep 28 2010 7:52PM
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mmallender.
Posts: 5805 - Karma: 936
i used to get that alll the time "lrg"? la..r..ge?
Sep 28 2010 8:06PM
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Dr-Strangelove
Posts: 125 - Karma: 18
That second one is actually pretty funny.

Y'know, because tall t's look like nightgowns.
Sep 28 2010 8:27PM
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Dr-Strangelove
Posts: 125 - Karma: 18
Not knowing what LRG means does not make a person a gaper. It makes them lucky.
Sep 28 2010 8:32PM
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-Marc-
Posts: 865 - Karma: 207
I was waiting to get into the gymnastics center tonight and heard a kid talking to his mom. He said it was busy and the ski team must be there. His mom asked if he was talking about cross country or downhill, which was stupid in the first place, but when he said terrain park skiing like on jumps, she said "why would a skier want to go off a jump?" I seriously wanted to slap her in the face
Sep 29 2010 12:55AM
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etlie
Posts: 166 - Karma: 16
same thing happened when we were loading on the lift, some lady had her goggles upside down and she asked the lifty:
"Can you tell me why my goggles dont fit properly"
"Uh....because they are upside down"
"Oh...how silly, that would make sense"

laughter ensured.
Sep 29 2010 3:42AM
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TOUCHE
Posts: 1183 - Karma: 162
thats not gaper thats just funny, what a legendary joke.
Sep 29 2010 6:44AM
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pow_pow2
Posts: 161 - Karma: 19
'Some terrain features included jumps made out of snow and others that incorporated rails for more advanced jumpers'   WTF!!
Sep 29 2010 12:40PM
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