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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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mezzy
Posts: 298 - Karma: 15
for a dying thread that is just claims?
May 8 2010 8:44PM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
go away
May 8 2010 10:23PM
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steezenskis
Posts: 1044 - Karma: 31

today i was in home depo getting stuff for my summer setup. some lady asked me what i was doing. the conversation went something like this.

Lady: whats that for

Me: a ski setup

Lady: you can ski in the summer???

Me: yea

Lady: what skis do you use?

Me: twin tips

Lady: whats that?

Me: skis

Lady: how do you do it?

Me: uhhh?

May 8 2010 10:24PM
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SweatyBallShack
Posts: 2857 - Karma: 58
I had that happen too. Only it was with an employee that seemed a little slow and talked like he popped a few of his moms estrogen pills before he went to work
May 8 2010 11:07PM
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B.Taillefer
Posts: 420 - Karma: 321
riding up the chairlift, my friend and i were talking about our favorite skiers, and this gaper kid next to us says his is Shane McConkey. Then he told us how Shane taught him to do backflips and rode all the time with him in Whistler before he passed away. At the top of the lift, the gaper rides away, and my friend and i literally pissed our pants laughing
May 8 2010 11:10PM
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boomboompow
Posts: 32 - Karma: 21
gaper: skiing's not a sport, all you do is point yourself down a hill


wearing my ar6's
gaper: does it matter which way round you wear those?

May 9 2010 8:44AM
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*TURBONERD*
Posts: 15081 - Karma: 9,158
wait, what?
May 9 2010 11:22AM
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410steeze
Posts: 1086 - Karma: 39
it was gaper day, and i looked like an idiot.
gaper- "hey cool outfit bro!'
he was dead serious. i died a little inside.

another was on the lift, some gaper and his dad were snowboarders from bama. the dad said, "see ya'll in the park!" his son replied, "hes a skier, he probably doesnt even know what the park is!' i proceeded to drop before them, do a 1, then a switch 5, then 270 on 270 off a dfd rail.
May 9 2010 11:38AM
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fratskier69
Posts: 1868 - Karma: 1,273
well this isnt a gaper, but it is still a fucking idiot.

at the bank, im wearing a big shirt, and a lumberjack jacket

my mom to the teller: "this is my son"

teller: "oh hello how are you, what are you into"

me: "biking and skiing, i love them!" (all happy and talking nicely, not rude at all)

my mom: "oh yeah hes crazy about skiing!"(then the teller proceeds to insult me and my whole family)

teller: "oh, like boarding?"

i pause
me, with a look of incredulity on my face: "skiing"

how oblivious are some people
May 9 2010 12:34PM
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410steeze
Posts: 1086 - Karma: 39
i've gotten that before. dat shits straight ignant
May 9 2010 12:39PM
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CrunkNugget
Posts: 1279 - Karma: 16
cool claim hansel
May 9 2010 1:46PM
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Cleeetus
Posts: 217 - Karma: 14
Gaper: "If that guy aint sponsered he should be. That was X games quality jump"
May 9 2010 7:50PM
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A_Zuck
Posts: 565 - Karma: 57
not a quote. but 6'5" 300 pound texan fell onto my 5 year old cousin while getting off the lift and snapped his femur. hes been in a wheel chair since December
May 9 2010 8:08PM
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majora
Posts: 860 - Karma: 157
how do you do 180s so easily?
May 9 2010 9:14PM
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ChillTeenDad420
Posts: 1858 - Karma: 5,512
Ski Patrol gapers: HEY! you're skiing out of control

Me: no, i was skiing switch

Ski Patrol gapers: no, you were skiing backwards, and you almost hit some people! You were skiing way beyond your ability!

Me: i was skiing switch, and i could see where i was going, plus I'm an instructor here.

Ski Patrol: oh... dont do it again

ski patrol= straight gapeage
May 9 2010 9:41PM
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Tjacks19
Posts: 342 - Karma: 42
Hey dude why's your shirt so big? and whats the point, your poles are too short?
May 9 2010 11:22PM
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samsquamch
Posts: 342 - Karma: 96

riding the excellerator chair in blackcomb

gaper: those are some short poles, are you one of those people who likes to ski close to the ground?

May 10 2010 12:22AM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
Obesity claims another victim hehe! But +vibes for your poor cousin. Hope the experience doesn't sour his opinion of skiing, just Texans hahaha!
May 10 2010 2:24PM
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mcarmazzi
Posts: 431 - Karma: 708
"Why are your poles so short?" ... "How do you use them?"
May 12 2010 12:57AM
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dompuch
Posts: 1449 - Karma: 1,187
BUMP!
May 12 2010 2:16PM
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Joe_Brogan
Posts: 360 - Karma: 11
"he's skiing backwards?!"
May 12 2010 5:45PM
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binturong-qwerty
Posts: 1506 - Karma: 146
This 75 year old guy is next to me and my cousin and her friend on an epic pow day.
He is wear skin tight clothing and a classic gaper pom pom hat
my cousins friend is dressed like a gaper (purposely)
The old guy starts randomly singing "Don't Stop Believing" at the top of his lungs
We are already cracking up
He tries to air guitar and slides forward
He flinches like he almost fell off
Then he says "Who nelly, I think i might have shat my pants a little!"
Then he comments on my cousin's friend's clothes and how "SWEET!" they are
Before we get off the lift he says "so how do you think the groomers are today?"
May 12 2010 9:45PM
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*TURBONERD*
Posts: 15081 - Karma: 9,158
DON'T STOP
BELIEVIN'
HOLD ON TO THAT FEEEEHEEEEELIIIIING
May 12 2010 9:59PM
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Oreos
Posts: 1207 - Karma: 38
seriously who doesn't sing on lifts!? if you don't you should
May 13 2010 2:37AM
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Thatdp
Posts: 500 - Karma: 168
Dude its all about singing some miley sirus or hillary duff shit throw some taylor swift in there. "its a love story baby just say yes"
May 13 2010 5:57AM
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vanshe
Posts: 63 - Karma: 10
I have 07 J.O. Pro's

Gaper: How do you ski with those on your skis? Don't you get distracted?

Happens at least twice a day. Im getting sick of it.
May 13 2010 7:16AM
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TOUCHE
Posts: 1183 - Karma: 162
"why do your skis go up at both ends?"


proceed to smother my face in my hands.
May 13 2010 7:34AM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
a.k.a. double facepalm
May 13 2010 11:40AM
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dompuch
Posts: 1449 - Karma: 1,187
How did you get into reverse mode!
May 13 2010 3:42PM
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Killa_BeeKnees
Posts: 211 - Karma: 30
Wow! hes got a long shirt on!
May 14 2010 2:08AM
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CrunkNugget
Posts: 1279 - Karma: 16
t-swift on the lift is the new gang signs at the camera on the lift
May 14 2010 11:13AM
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SweatyBallShack
Posts: 2857 - Karma: 58
story of my life
May 14 2010 4:54PM
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binturong-qwerty
Posts: 1506 - Karma: 146
i lolled
Jun 2 2010 5:20PM
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JWoods
Posts: 2369 - Karma: 2,635
Taylor Swift is the shit
Jun 15 2010 7:04PM
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^BEANS^
Posts: 624 - Karma: 248
when the gapers on the life go crazy then someone gose inverted. but then someone dose a steezin 5 silence.
Jun 15 2010 8:36PM
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_Jesus_
Posts: 2070 - Karma: 260
BUMP
Jul 7 2010 8:24PM
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ndye
Posts: 3756 - Karma: 7,094
Unfortunately there are only so many stupid things that can be said about skiing and at page 50 they have all been covered.
Jul 7 2010 8:44PM
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mezzy
Posts: 298 - Karma: 15
and at page 30 all the good ones were covered....
Jul 8 2010 12:02AM
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Most-D
Posts: 729 - Karma: 1,088
"What a wicked X-grab!"
Jul 8 2010 6:18AM
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SweatyBallShack
Posts: 2857 - Karma: 58

Ski tech at my shop after I tell him that TNKs are 85-86 underfoot

"well thats not very wide. My 4frnts are almost 115."

me"ya, thats kinda why theyre park skis. Thats why I want them mounted true center"

I pick my skis up a week later and the retard has them at core center. what a noob

Jul 8 2010 1:50PM
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-MickeyM-
Posts: 126 - Karma: 280

I was at the top of the jump line at kings crown and there was this total gaper talking to his friend. He said like " ok im gonna do it now" so I asked him if he was gonna try to hit the jumps. He said he only wanted to clear it halfway to the flat part. I told him that wasn't the greatest idea then later i saw him stop at the top of the lip, decide it was too big, and try to ski off sideways from about 7 feet up hahaha

Jul 8 2010 4:32PM
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MothaHucker
Posts: 4678 - Karma: 2,591

gaper-whoa, are your skis double sided?

me-yeah, twintip

gaper-those are fat!

me-there for powder

gaper-wats powder?

me-soft snow

gaper-but all snows soft

me-fresh snow

gaper-ohhhh, how do you do groomers on them?

me-i dont there for powder and cliffs and stuff.

gaper-cliffs?

me-yeah.

gaper-can you do a backflip?

Jul 8 2010 7:24PM
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adamlukowski
Posts: 3676 - Karma: 311
Uncle - so do you have trick skis?
Me - yeah i guess so
Cousin - so they're the really short ones?
Me - ...no....
cousin - oh well you should get those
my Cousin and uncle continued to talk about blades for several minutes after
Jul 8 2010 8:25PM
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Goku
Posts: 8119 - Karma: 4,223
with my girlfriend yesterday
her: So what's the craziest trick you've ever done?
me: *sigh*
Jul 8 2010 8:29PM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
this thread makes me want to jump off an airplane into shark infested water after drinking 4 gallons of milk with a coral snake wrapped around my neck and an angry king cobra stuffed into my pants
Jul 8 2010 8:42PM
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Elmo.
Posts: 4317 - Karma: 663
at a gaper mtn in southern NH with some friends it has a small park and lots of asians on saturday night renting... dont ask me why

me: dont stand between the jumps
asian: wa??
me: u cant stand in between the jumps u might hurt someone and ur just in everyones way
asian: im waiting for a friend and these are racing bumps
me:....... bahahahahahahah racing bumps?!?!
asian: yes the racers use them
me: this is a terrain park where we do tricks now gfto and dont come down this trail again


also
lady: you do tricks?
me: yep
lady: can u backflip?
me: ive tried
lady:dont try again cuz u can get hurt
me: i try new tricks all the time
lady:just dont try dangerous ones
me: ........ *sigh*
Jul 8 2010 8:42PM
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Candyman.
Posts: 433 - Karma: 87
I feel the same way, but some of these quotes are hilarious.
Jul 8 2010 8:45PM
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Elmo.
Posts: 4317 - Karma: 663
1 more...

me and gaper friends do a ski club where the school brings u to a mtn for like 5 days and blah blah blah

Friends: those skiis r wood?
me: yea they're the line afterbangs
friends: wow from when 1950
me: nope from 2010
friends:*confused looks*
me: the wood makes them durable the way they're shaped they are really poppy and can butter easily
friends:*confused looks*.... who wants to race
me: fuck this im going to the park


they also didnt get why u couldnt see through my googles... they have like 10 dollar scotts i have oakley crowbars with fire iridium
Jul 8 2010 9:05PM
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steezenskis
Posts: 1044 - Karma: 31
after reading some of these posts id say that at least half the shit on here is complete bull.
Jul 8 2010 9:29PM
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ChillTeenDad420
Posts: 1858 - Karma: 5,512
one time a gaper asked if i could spinny tornado corkscrew ollie so i threw him off the chair. true story
Jul 9 2010 12:05AM
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