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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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Ryan*
Posts: 1827 - Karma: 1,195
Hahahaha now I'm going to scream SPINNERS and T-setting the next time I do a 3.
Apr 7 2010 9:45PM
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steep
Posts: 6063 - Karma: 298
this kid a school claims he can ski park. I take him into the park and he straight shoots a huge flat box and straightairs a tiny jump. I switch up a rail and pull a frontflip. His reaction: oh shit
Apr 7 2010 10:27PM
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fourtwozero
Posts: 184 - Karma: 9
ok i think after 48 pages we are starting to get repeats
Apr 7 2010 11:08PM
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Apresbang
Posts: 618 - Karma: 276
/thread
Apr 8 2010 12:06PM
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Steezius_Maximus
Posts: 1152 - Karma: 22
fucki hate when they think that skiers cant hit it
Apr 8 2010 12:30PM
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Mestenberg
Posts: 164 - Karma: 10
Do a backflip!!!
Apr 8 2010 3:08PM
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.Natty.
Posts: 1030 - Karma: 84
 i had some gaper ask me that since my skis were curled on both sides how do i know which way to put them on...
Apr 8 2010 9:01PM
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dompuch
Posts: 1449 - Karma: 1,187

Gape: howed you get into reverse mode

me:................

Apr 8 2010 9:27PM
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tacobellslayer
Posts: 1493 - Karma: 214
(after landing a backflip with some friends when some friends of my friends come over)

gaper: yeah that was pretty cool. i think im gonna land a 360 then try that

me:....................................
Apr 8 2010 11:47PM
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THUGwife
Posts: 1909 - Karma: 301
bahahahaha
Apr 9 2010 5:57AM
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burnsie.
Posts: 76 - Karma: 10
I was asked if i had burton skis
Apr 9 2010 6:48PM
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Chaka
Posts: 424 - Karma: 79
I have to share this one:
I was on the lift at my home hill and there where a few guys skiing right under the lift.
I heard one of them saying "oh Bro these new sticks are soooo sick" (it came out in the gaperest way possible)
I then looked down to see he had on new Blends or something with Barons/Dukes and I didn't think much of it.. the guy just got new skis no biggie.
His "Bro" turned to the friend and yelled "oh dude! you should set them in Tele mode so you can ski the powder better!"
I was thinking to myself that there was no fucking way the guy was that dumb but he stops, clicks out of his skis and proceeds to put them into touring mode. By this point I was at the top and decided to ski down to see if he had actually done it. I got to the spot and found the one guy lying on his face while his Bro was talking about how the Bindings must have been broken. The level of stupidity was shocking to say the least.
Apr 13 2010 2:38AM
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*TURBONERD*
Posts: 15081 - Karma: 9,158
first good, realistic story in ages
Apr 13 2010 7:08AM
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annamaria
Posts: 155 - Karma: 330
- can you ski backwards?
- yep
- so cool!
Apr 13 2010 7:19AM
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sack
Posts: 4881 - Karma: 147
.
Apr 14 2010 4:27AM
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*TURBONERD*
Posts: 15081 - Karma: 9,158
sigh
Apr 14 2010 7:08AM
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skifoo
Posts: 1396 - Karma: 45
One guy (about 14 yrs old) was trying to catch lift. (first time in skiing?) Always he failed . then we were like : Omg , go to ski school.
Then he told us so cool;  ''No im just waiting for a friend''
Then he fall down and lifts were stopped. KHEHEHEHE
Apr 14 2010 8:44AM
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EC-Skier
Posts: 3899 - Karma: 668
haha dumbass
Apr 14 2010 9:40AM
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sack
Posts: 4881 - Karma: 147
some of the worst are parents who take their kids on leashes or take them on too steep of terrain (or don't challenge them enough).
one lady and her kid were regulars at my mountain and she would take him out on the green runs under the intermediate lift and say "big pizza! biiiig pizza!" the poor kid would fall after about 10 seconds of straight running pizza.
I actually hate the ones who put their kids on leashes because I have to deal with the kids' horrible stance and timidness in lessons.
Apr 14 2010 5:29PM
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McSteezeFries
Posts: 99 - Karma: 20
I took of my hell Bents and walked inside to eat I came out side to put them on and gp up when 2 little gapers Told me " hey mister your skis are broken, what made them bend like that?" jahah
Apr 14 2010 7:11PM
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Scrambles
Posts: 2270 - Karma: 63
N00b: this park has no fun boxes! me: it has plenty of boxes... n00b: no a fun box is one that goes up then horizontal, then down!! Me: sure...
Apr 14 2010 8:31PM
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Z.J.H.
Posts: 842 - Karma: 1,541

"Are those duo tips!!! Those things give off the most gnarly rooster spray!!!!!"

Apr 14 2010 8:45PM
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alvy.
Posts: 2134 - Karma: 377
The gaper: Whoa.....are those double tip skis?
Me: *inward sigh*.... uhhh ya...
The gaper: Man i need to get me some of those double tip skis.


I was too fed up to even attempt to correct him.
Apr 14 2010 11:55PM
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alvy.
Posts: 2134 - Karma: 377
O i have another one. Just before i say this I have nothing against my dad, hes cool, but he makes the wierdest totallly gaper comments ever... here's one of his best.

Dad: So what did you do for your competition?
Me: Well, the jumps were way too close together so i just did some 3's and hit the box.
Dad: (Stares blankly at me for about 5 seconds straight) wait so you did a HELICOPTER????
Me: yes, dad, yes i did a helicopter. ( Walk away)
Apr 15 2010 12:12AM
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sack
Posts: 4881 - Karma: 147
my boyfriend is a snowboarder and a bit of a gaper haha. he actually called jumps ramps once. all i could do was raise my eyebrows at him
Apr 15 2010 1:52AM
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Apresbang
Posts: 618 - Karma: 276
I actually cringed at this one
Apr 15 2010 4:54AM
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Evilchris
Posts: 2090 - Karma: 44
Have you ever gotten a highspeed rooster tail to the face on hard frozen granular day? It really hurts like a bitch!
Apr 15 2010 9:13AM
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cooper.fry
Posts: 2229 - Karma: 34
i laughed in computer tech and everyone looked at me
Apr 15 2010 12:34PM
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Z.J.H.
Posts: 842 - Karma: 1,541
ya. me too.
Apr 15 2010 5:44PM
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Ryan*
Posts: 1827 - Karma: 1,195
He's thinking of a skate funbox:

Click for larger image

he's not that far off.
Apr 18 2010 4:06PM
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mmallender.
Posts: 5805 - Karma: 936
really hes not far off at all. i dont think i have ever heard a box in the terrain park get called a fun box. unless it was a skate park style fun box feature?
Apr 18 2010 5:41PM
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the_goose69
Posts: 595 - Karma: 35
On Gaper Day:
" Why are you all dressed like that" quote from a gaper
Apr 18 2010 5:42PM
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line4848
Posts: 53 - Karma: 10
gaper referring to my hellbents: those things are huge! how r they in the bumps??
i didnt answer him...
Apr 18 2010 6:40PM
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Oreos
Posts: 1207 - Karma: 38
"what do the springs on your skis do? do they make them stiffer or something..?" gaper whilst looking at my griffons....
Apr 19 2010 5:53AM
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JibbaTheHutt
Posts: 2132 - Karma: 1,597

i went sking with an old amily friend and their children and to be fair it was his 2nd time in the park.

but i told him that when you just ride onto a box and hit it straight its called a 50/50 he then said can i go and 50/50 a jump then

Apr 19 2010 7:38AM
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WVskiing
Posts: 3007 - Karma: 1,949

the terrain park is a summer bike park - ski patrol

Apr 19 2010 12:30PM
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chardi
Posts: 5040 - Karma: 59

i had a conversation with my uncle about the winter olympics.  he was telling me how there was this race with some skiiers and they would go over jumps and he was pretty sure that it was a requirement that they had to do a flip...

It was like a ten minute conversation and i wasn't a dick at all, though i was laughing on the inside.  I could have scripted like the whole conversation but ^thats just a little bit of how it went.

Apr 19 2010 12:46PM
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FreeskierRocco.
Posts: 3740 - Karma: 91
That's actually really possible. I know a couple mountains around here do biking in the summer. What mountain were you at?
Apr 19 2010 3:53PM
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SweatyBallShack
Posts: 2857 - Karma: 58
Beech mtn in NC does that
Apr 19 2010 4:09PM
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WVskiing
Posts: 3007 - Karma: 1,949
no, he was saying like the rails and boxes are for the bikes
Apr 19 2010 5:41PM
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FreeskierRocco.
Posts: 3740 - Karma: 91
Oh gotchya. My bad. sorry man
Apr 19 2010 7:00PM
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openmindportrait
Posts: 1157 - Karma: 818

Dude i ride alpental too and crystal skiers are just the worst once at crystal going down green valley on a powder day riding my ARG's a gaper says

Gaper: HEy you hey get out of the powder your gonna get stuck

Me: I have powder skis

Gaper: still u wanna be careful you might get stuck and drown

Gaper: and why are your clothes so baggy you look like a retarded snowboarder

Me: i push him and ski away laughing

Apr 20 2010 12:29PM
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openmindportrait
Posts: 1157 - Karma: 818

Once getttin on a lift on a powder day at snowbird i moved up 2 people to be with my friends and this is what happened

Gaper: HEY YOU KID!!!

Me: What do you wnat

Gaper: hey get back here

Me: i gotta get with my friends sir

Gaper: no no no NOW YOUR FRIENDS ARE BACK HERE

Me: oh oh ok what are u going to do gaper

Gaper: I WILL FUCKING END YOU LITTLE BITCH

Me: u Know my dads right here

Gaper: I DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK GET BACK TO THE END OF THE FUCKING LINE

Me: no and we get on the lift and he gets kicked out by the ski patrol

Apr 22 2010 3:23PM
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TheHuggyBear
Posts: 1762 - Karma: 313
i had my own gaper quote on the last day of the season hahaha
I'm sittin there at Cataloochee ski resport in NC on their last day, they had a 60 somethin foot box put together it was pretty cool.
anyways only one other skier was there hitting the box, so we are chatting it up (he has no clue how completely high i am) and i was talking about how i was going to try a one footer to hippy killer thing at the very end, because all i had been doing was board sliding it all day.

sparknotes: i referred to just sliding the box as a board slide.

I hope that kid is on NS and sees this
Apr 22 2010 6:42PM
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CrunkNugget
Posts: 1279 - Karma: 16
"you're losing your pants!"
Apr 23 2010 5:58PM
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SweatyBallShack
Posts: 2857 - Karma: 58
"how do you see with those black goggles?
Apr 23 2010 7:37PM
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EthanJPAskier
Posts: 1668 - Karma: 248
well deserved bump
May 5 2010 8:15PM
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steezenskis
Posts: 1044 - Karma: 31

one time i was in the park and i did a 3. this guy then came up to me and asked me if i got dizzy doing helicopters. i didnt even answer.

May 5 2010 8:46PM
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.nasty
Posts: 10581 - Karma: 11,162
been asked the same thing. not that you couldn't use them in moguls, but come on... lol
May 5 2010 8:59PM
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