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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
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fuck.your.tits
Posts: 935 - Karma: 20
So many made up stories on here its rediculous
Feb 25 2010 1:21AM
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billay
Posts: 270 - Karma: 59
thats funny i was at winter park 2 weeks ago on my volkl walls and someone asked me if they were those new reverse camber skis too.

not really a gaper, just an interested older man who had obviously read about them and wanted to see a pair.
Feb 25 2010 11:46AM
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CypressGrove
Posts: 1116 - Karma: 12
no quotes, but the funniest shit in the world is watching ppl walk through cafeterias in ski boots with $40 worth of food on a tray, slip and fall. every time i ever saw that i could never hold back. point and laugh like a maniac.
Feb 25 2010 1:14PM
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skithesprings
Posts: 9086 - Karma: 1,349
new one from me,

a group of about 15 of us are getting off of the park lift and waiting for a couple more who are still on the lift. we are completly out of the way and this dude gets off the lift and skis directly over to us and yells HEY! and we all look at him, he says nothing so we all looked away. then he yelled HEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY! and made his way directly through us stepping on skis and cursing us "parkrats" as he went. he could have easily gone around. he was then verbally ridiculed by everyone in the group.
Feb 25 2010 3:30PM
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fratskier69
Posts: 1868 - Karma: 1,273
you sholda left the hill holding his esophagus in your hand
Feb 25 2010 4:07PM
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ColButch
Posts: 40 - Karma: 10
I was at the top of a run up the tram at Big Sky, MT (for those of you who don't know the tram runs there are at about 45 degrees) . There is a man, 2 small kids that are probably like 6 or 7 and his wife who are clearly from the Midwest some where judging by there bright clothing, lack of any shaped skis and sunglasses substituted for goggles. Anyways they are standing right in the middle of the traverse.
Gaper: Sorry to get in the way, we're newbies up here.
Feb 25 2010 6:19PM
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[Lucas]
Posts: 21 - Karma: 109
I love it when I'm on the lift and see a skier or snowboarder above a rail or jump that is decked out in nice stuff and look really good and then try and guess what they are gonna do like "Ok I bet he'll do a 2 on  switch up 2 out" and then they just ride the box straight or dont hit the jump.
Feb 26 2010 12:34AM
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SweatyBallShack
Posts: 2857 - Karma: 58
I once had a lady on the lift tell me I must wIn all the races. So I ask what she means and she says that she saw me do a flip off a huge jump. Lol. It wasn't even a flip. It was a rodeo 3 hand drag off a roller that I barely landed. and last week I was called a showoff by a little kid for riding the chair with my bar up that at the highest is 10 ft off the ground
Feb 26 2010 12:49AM
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hoodratz47
Posts: 12020 - Karma: 9,475

" i see you got them new phangeled double enders'  

once right when i was about to get off the chair a lady freaked out casue she did not think i could keep my all my tips up at the same time.  dumb bitch!

Feb 26 2010 12:54AM
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.skiperisher.
Posts: 323 - Karma: 83
this one is from my ex who was a lifty working on a gondala. a family of about five came and got on the gondala. my ex says to them sorry this gondala only goes half way. the father of the group gets his whole family out of the gondala and then gets in the next one. they go up and come back down where the father then comes down and says there must be a problem because the first gondala went all the way to the top.

a few others i have heard from being a lifty. what happens to the chairs when they get to the top. do i have to go up to go down

was bumping chairs when a texan trys to stop at the stand here line. he then proceds to say, " damm rental poles need to be sharpend"
Feb 26 2010 1:24AM
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Apresbang
Posts: 618 - Karma: 276
So i'm lapping the park, fulltilts chilling in my sweet ass afterbangs, totally rocking my G-suit jacket, air-raid pants (XXXL obviously) and a sweet ass level 1 tall tee. So i'm throwing down a sw double rodeo 9 and this gaper comes up to me and he's like wow dude you must be a pro! I'm like "fuck you gaper" and then i jib'd off his face and ski'd off.

Fucking gapers!
Feb 26 2010 10:51AM
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fratskier69
Posts: 1868 - Karma: 1,273

what is your point?

to wear a G suit you need to do atleast misty 7's

to wear saga you gotta do goo dcorks

to wear first  drop you gotta be droppping kang flips

shut the fuck up since when did you need to do good tricks to wear nice clothes? you are jsut jelouse, leave ns foreever

Feb 26 2010 12:07PM
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[Lucas]
Posts: 21 - Karma: 109
o·pin·ion /əˈpɪnClick for larger imageyən/ Click for larger image Show [uh-pin-yuhClick for larger imagen]

a personal view, attitude, or appraisal.

my bad.
Feb 26 2010 3:41PM
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dubaiski
Posts: 961 - Karma: 37

no you have got it wrong, you dont need to be able to do those tricks to be able to wear the gear. In stead if you bey the gear you will automatically be able to do it.

e.g. if you own full tilts, line skis, saga and full  drop outerwear, scot poles, jibberish and oakley you will be able to do a double cork no problem

lol

Feb 26 2010 4:02PM
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Jimmy.
Posts: 2888 - Karma: 27
hahhahaha pretty much sums up this thread
Feb 26 2010 4:09PM
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.cam.
Posts: 1852 - Karma: 48
yesterday my friend was trying to convince that there are no such thing as trick skis and that all skis are the same. he claims he skies all the time.
Feb 26 2010 4:12PM
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Hoover
Posts: 1432 - Karma: 52
how does he skie all the time?does he have moon boots?
Feb 26 2010 4:52PM
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CrunkNugget
Posts: 1279 - Karma: 16
you are awesome
Feb 27 2010 12:49AM
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Bungholio
Posts: 973 - Karma: 5

"Are those freestlye trick skis?"

"why do your skis point up at the back?"

"can you backflip?"

"why is your shirt/jacket really tall?"

"are you sponsered?"

thats all i got... CHCHYEAH

Feb 27 2010 3:38AM
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iffe
Posts: 984 - Karma: 120
This is the most confusing thing I've ever heard.

A little kid told me that a superman is a trick where you freeze the time mid-air and do ten backflips.

That was over a year ago and I'm still confused.
Feb 27 2010 3:38AM
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Ryan*
Posts: 1827 - Karma: 1,195
Win.
Feb 27 2010 10:47AM
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wameron
Posts: 1233 - Karma: 1,222
in that case dumonts front superman front was the craziest thing ever
Feb 27 2010 1:51PM
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SKIU4EA
Posts: 2387 - Karma: 2,072
yep, so gapers say stuff and it's funny
Feb 27 2010 2:03PM
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SweatyBallShack
Posts: 2857 - Karma: 58
i loled
Feb 27 2010 2:07PM
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Joonas
Posts: 568 - Karma: 230
i was gettin onto a lift in verbier switzerland, as a dad and 2 of his kids aged like 5 and 7 walk up to me and intend to get on to the same lift with me. Then the dad looks at me and says in finnish ( as im also a finn i understood what he said but propably he had no idea that i would understand) something like " this guy doenst look legit, lets take the next lift okay?" The funny thing is tho that i dont even wear loose or ganstaish clothing, i just had a bandana on..  So i just took the lift by my self and said thanks to the family in finnish, and they were like O_o
Feb 27 2010 4:56PM
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SweatyBallShack
Posts: 2857 - Karma: 58
hahahahahahahahahahahaha! I would have loved to see that... I would need a translator tho
Feb 27 2010 5:12PM
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leahey
Posts: 2548 - Karma: 32
I was at Stratton, and this like cocky 16 year old who was terrible was talking about going out west and skiing gnarly backcountry. And later, I see him break his arm and start crying on a blue.
Feb 27 2010 6:21PM
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CrunkNugget
Posts: 1279 - Karma: 16
sorry guys as impressing as your jumps would have been i couldnt stop laughing at the sweaters. just a big no no for me. any chance you could wear normal clothes? not for the sake of fashion, cos anyone is entitled to wear what they like, but you actually look funny when you bend your knees and when you land... another aspect is that whoever sees the video would also be able to see the movements of your legs... currently all i see is heads bobbing and ickle feet under giant clothes...


^comment on a 4bi9 vid on youtube
Feb 27 2010 6:45PM
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Ryan*
Posts: 1827 - Karma: 1,195
So my friends and I built a jump at my local golf course, and I was standing at the top of the hill to go hit it, and this old sledding guy looks at me and goes,

Old guy: What are you gonna do?  A helicopter?!

Me: [laughing] No.

Old guy: What then? A 180?  What?!

Me: A 3.

Mike (stupid fucking idiot in my school): [incredulously] Can you do a helicopter?

Me: [laughing even harder] Yes Mike.  I can helicopter.

Mike: [defensively] Well obviously not on this jump!


I also got as a joke: "Now do a 700, faggot!"
Feb 27 2010 7:09PM
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mski
Posts: 4791 - Karma: 3,803
Awesome reply
Feb 27 2010 7:45PM
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ChrisSkisChronic
Posts: 1128 - Karma: 230
I was watching the Vancouver opening ceremony with my whole family (most of whom do not ski). They showed a clip of a dude being heli-dropped on a mountain and boarding down.

aunt: Whoa, people don't actually do that, right?
other aunt: I don't know, but all that deep snow sure would be hard to ski on

My dad and I looked at each other and laughed
Feb 27 2010 7:47PM
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fuck.your.tits
Posts: 935 - Karma: 20
haha ya man that was the tackiest into/video i've ever seen.
Mar 1 2010 7:51PM
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Goku
Posts: 8119 - Karma: 4,223
i was on the lift last night and i saw some kid probably 13 fall and lose a ski, and i heard him yell to his friend "my ski disconnected"
Mar 1 2010 7:53PM
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WTFunk
Posts: 84 - Karma: 15
"why are your tails so big?"
Mar 1 2010 8:00PM
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Hakkalugi
Posts: 145 - Karma: 10
Avatar is sweet I LIKE TURTLES!

"Can you ride backwards on your skis?" after watching me bomb to the jump switch.... Some people need a bitch slap
Mar 1 2010 8:15PM
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SweatyBallShack
Posts: 2857 - Karma: 58
agreed
Mar 1 2010 10:18PM
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special-J
Posts: 1572 - Karma: 4,477
I have a diecut 6.0 sticker on my AR6s right beside the huge "armada" running down my right ski. I couldn't even guess how many times I have gotten, "whoa, sick skis dude! I didn't know Nike 6.0 made skis!!" legit comment I guess...... IF YOU ARE BLIND!
Mar 1 2010 10:58PM
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Bean_Slc
Posts: 514 - Karma: 25
One pow day at gore I was riding the lift and I hear
"holy shit is that a camera on that kids head" (probably referring to my GoPro)
me- "no its a fucking avalanche beacon"
Mar 1 2010 11:41PM
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dbricknasty
Posts: 387 - Karma: 9
other night on the lift:

old man with poles up to his shoulders says to me and my friends "whats with the short poles?"
we look at each other, smile, shrug our shoulders and say "its how we like them"
Mar 1 2010 11:51PM
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Frankensteeze
Posts: 89 - Karma: 14
Skiers hate powder. -Snowboarder
Mar 1 2010 11:52PM
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johnsonST
Posts: 1 - Karma: 10
So in two months of riding SPK kaos boots, I have had only a couple days when some gaper kid hasn't pointed out that I am wearing two different boots. Ski Patrol was even convinced that I needed to get off the mountain and get my equipment figured out. Come on guys.
Mar 2 2010 2:28AM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535

At Asessippi I was riding up the chair with this kid.

Him: have you tried the moguls?

Me: what moguls? there aren't any this year.

Him: the moguls on the first chair.

Me: Those are not moguls. Those are rollers.

Him: Oh...

I overheard an 8 year old in the lift line.

kid: I saw a guy do a rail, but on skis!!!!

Me: that would be me or my brother.

at the time, we were the only freeskiers in the rail park, and it's right in front of the chairlift so we get a mobile peanut gallery watching us.

Mar 2 2010 10:55AM
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Apresbang
Posts: 618 - Karma: 276
LOL'd so hard!
Mar 2 2010 12:09PM
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JRullo
Posts: 1794 - Karma: 265
true story i was there, funnyer in real life though.
Mar 2 2010 1:18PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535

I am possibly detecting sarcasm...

Or are you being genuine? It sounds 50/50...

Forgot to add some douche rental boarder shouted something from previously mentioned chairlift at my brother:

Kid: Yo those dork sticks aren't meant for rails!

Me: What did you just say?!

Kid: not you, the other skier!

Me: He's my brother! Whatever you said to him you can say to me ya prick! Like you can do any better on that Rossi rental board!

My brother didn't hear a word of this as he was blasting his tunes. The little pecker didn't continue the insults after he stepped up to my challenge and ate a lot of rail. Idiot.

Mar 2 2010 1:19PM
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ohpatti
Posts: 745 - Karma: 25
Some 14 year old in levis After seeing me slide a rail, " wow dude that was super saucy." I didn't even bother to acknowledge it..
Mar 2 2010 2:26PM
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Apresbang
Posts: 618 - Karma: 276
No sarcasm. I was serious, its just a funny phrase!
Mar 2 2010 2:41PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
ok, you've just been sarcastic in here lately. Had to check.
Mar 2 2010 3:11PM
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teleak
Posts: 2251 - Karma: 105

the other day i was skiing down a groomer and this woman had fallen over at the side where it wasnt groomed... about 3 inches of pow. i felt bad so i went over and helped. she kept saying that the snow was so deepand her husband left her and the other friend she was with her just took off while i was helping her stand up. she also told me it was her 3rd time skiing ever and she was from fort laurderdale (sp?).

Mar 2 2010 3:56PM
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adamlukowski
Posts: 3676 - Karma: 311
that happened yesterday to an aquaintence, who my friends is friends with, he has a very nice camera, and he's 15, and this HUGE gaper snowboarder who was at one time friends with us keeps asking HOW MUCH WAS IT? HOW MUCH WAS IT? and the kid holding the camera had no idea what to say and was little uneasy saying how much it costs, so his friend yells at the guy 3 FUCKING GRAND IS THAT GOOD?
Mar 2 2010 4:29PM
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