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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24725 - Karma: 29,944
This guy's gotta be like 56 or something... greying beard and hair... and he smells like motor oil. Came into my work one day and I almost busted up the whole time i was talking to him. Had a normal american accent so he was def not french.

Him "Yeah, I'm a skiing instructor. I've worked at Val'd'isere before in France."

Me: "Really? That's cool.."

Him: "yeah... but I teach on snowblades because they're a lot better"

Me: "Better? How?"

Him: "let me put it this way, I was running the downhill course there when they were having an international race, and I was passing up racers. Theyre way easier to control"

Me: "Really.. how did you get into the race on snowblades?"

Him: "I didnt, I snuck in"

Me: "isnt that dangerous? those guys are going upwards 80mph"

Him: "no way! they couldnt be going more than MAYBE 55 or 60"

Me: "in a downhill race? Are you sure dude? I could see guys doing no more than that in the GS or SuperG, but The downhill at VDI is pretty steep in some sections. Easily puts even the girls over 80mph."

Him: "have you ever been to val'd'isere"

Me: "no, but.."

Him: "then you dont know what the hell you're talking about do you?"

Me: "weelllll I guess I dont. However, I'm still skeptical"

Him: "pff.."

Him: "So what do you think about these bindings?" (grabs the marker duke, and starts messing with it)

Me: "well, it's probably the best AT binding for actually doing alpine skiing with - seeing as it was developed as an alpine binding before they developed it for AT"

Him: "Doesnt 16 seem a little ridiculous for a binding? and, man these are heavy. I'd never ski with these"

Me: "well, I ride my bindings at 11 or 12 usually - and really they arent that heavy in comparison to race bindings"

Him:"ELEVEN OR 12? and you havent blown your knee?!"

Me: "actually I have, but that was when I was 17, and my binding was set on 8 or 9 at the time, anyway."

Him: "Why would you do that to yourself?"

Me: "Because I want the skis to stay on when I hit jumps, or huck things?"

Him: "huck? What do you mean by huck.."


By now I couldnt help it anymore and just busted up laughing... i couldnt help it anymore.
Feb 18 2010 6:15PM
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kvan
Posts: 3085 - Karma: 1,225
"does that gold s on your coat (g suit) stand for simon dumont?"
Feb 18 2010 6:19PM
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Peach.
Posts: 3879 - Karma: 933
[imghttp://nicedoggie.net/2009/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/bullshitflaggreenfield.jpg[/img]
Feb 18 2010 8:10PM
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Peach.
Posts: 3879 - Karma: 933
Click for larger image
Feb 18 2010 8:12PM
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saskskier
Posts: 4774 - Karma: 10,005
Guy working at Sportchek:  "I see you're checking out the new double-tips."
Feb 18 2010 8:15PM
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BJacksonPhoto
Posts: 99 - Karma: 236
Kid about 11 or 12walks into the lift line carrying his rental board. taps me on the shoulder and asks "Is this lift for snowboards to?"
Feb 18 2010 8:43PM
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MADDECENT
Posts: 5579 - Karma: 951
Do y'all have a trick ditch? (referring to halfpipe)
Feb 18 2010 8:46PM
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skithesprings
Posts: 9086 - Karma: 1,349
ok, so I was at a non-public demo day (shop employees and guests only) and this snowboarder with a big yellow spiky helmet cover walks up to me and the conversation went like this.

him "hey, is monster coming to this event"
me "do you mean the demo?"
him "yeah, I want to try one of their snowboards"
me "monster doesn't make snowboards"
him "yeah they do, I see them all the time"
me "those are just other snowboards with monster stickers on them, I'm going over here to demo another pair of skis"

then he followed me around at a creepishly close distance like we were best friends or something for like 3 minutes untill I said specifically

"get the fuck away from me you creepy bastard!"

he didn't follow me any more.
Feb 18 2010 9:21PM
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little1337
Posts: 8241 - Karma: 47,867
 How do u no wich way to put on your bindings?
Feb 18 2010 10:14PM
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*TURBONERD*
Posts: 15081 - Karma: 9,158
haha
Feb 18 2010 10:19PM
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8088
Posts: 1090 - Karma: 158
im pretty sure monster does make the Danny Kass board but idk i could be totally wrong
Feb 18 2010 10:38PM
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Scrambles
Posts: 2270 - Karma: 63
no, my friend has a danny kass gnu board
Feb 19 2010 12:32AM
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Caleb.E
Posts: 3556 - Karma: 1,015

my friend once asked a guy from new york if he had seen any skiers doing urban and he said ya there was, then he said "ya there bean alot of snow shooers and cross coutry skier"

not super gaperish but pretty funny!

Feb 19 2010 11:54AM
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PadDONski
Posts: 186 - Karma: 25
These are both from the same person: 1.Can skiers and snowboarders go on the same slopes? and 2. I didn't know the skilife didn't stop so I had to jump off and I crashed into the ground.
Feb 19 2010 11:57AM
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Ben.
Posts: 21463 - Karma: 683
ahahah
Feb 19 2010 8:44PM
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ChrisSkisChronic
Posts: 1128 - Karma: 230
I guarantee that he just watched Johnny Tsunami 
Feb 19 2010 9:09PM
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Apresbang
Posts: 618 - Karma: 276
I beg to differ, not funny at all.
Feb 20 2010 10:11AM
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AlpineMOUNTAIN
Posts: 16 - Karma: 15
Gaper(Kid at my school): dude i broke my wrist trying to 5 this big jump

me: my friend was there. you 90'd a bump then fell and stated crying

gaper: i mustve caught an edge i guess
Feb 20 2010 10:29PM
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ski2sky.
Posts: 1800 - Karma: 897
so im 15 and pretty short and the other day i was in the park and i ate shit on a 9 that i didnt get all the way around on.
while i was clicking my skis back in an older guy with a with beard on straight skies from the 80's came up to me and told me that i should go find my parents because its obvious that i was a "trickster", i was like... are you kidding me i just fell on a legitament 9!... he proceeded to force me to follow him to "park patrol" where he explained to them that i need to find my parents because im lost on a big mountian.....
so embarassing.
Feb 20 2010 10:58PM
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Sir.Steezealot
Posts: 1156 - Karma: 677

This story is so epic so one day I was hiking in the park I was out of landing perfectly safe and some 30 somthing year old man with his 4 year old son comes flying down side jumps the lip of the boxes and skis over my skis he stops and

me:dude its ok

him: *looks at me* *looks at the ground* DUDE WATCH OUT!!!

me:what??

him: dont you know that the terrain park is for going down

me: dont you know sometimes people go up it to get in more hits when they are learning tricks

him:well your a nuisance and a danger to everyone going into the park so go THE FUCK DOWN THE HILL

me: common really why do you new jersey joeys have be such douchebags

him: oh wait till I get ski patrol are they going to teach you a lesson

me: what are they going to do pull my pass for you skiing over my skis and trying to start a fight with me

him: *skis away*

about 20 minutes later he is waiting at the side of the jump for me I just skied through the woods I could of hit it and continuned to fight with the guy but really its the first time I ever had a problem with anyone at my hill and if anything its something I never want to happen to me again. Ski patrol never met up with me thank god because knowing the ski patrol at my mountain they would have just pulled my pass.

Feb 20 2010 11:24PM
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.jesus.
Posts: 2288 - Karma: 22
word that guy was hilarious he was in jeans to so classic 
Feb 21 2010 1:37AM
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Steezius_Maximus
Posts: 1152 - Karma: 22
did you beat his ass. tell him motherfuckers like him shouldn't even be in the terrain park
Feb 21 2010 10:59AM
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mseward
Posts: 1041 - Karma: 1,243
lol my buddys dad thought my dumonts were pow skis , he also told me to practice bacflips by satnding on a picnic table with my skis on and backflipping off it.
Feb 21 2010 8:41PM
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jamesd81792
Posts: 27 - Karma: 10
hahaa mad good
Feb 21 2010 10:02PM
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bkap
Posts: 446 - Karma: 23
on the lift with someone during a wicked fun powder day. Grown man says to me its snowin pretty hard, think they'll close the mountain?

^^there was like 8 inches of pow.
Feb 21 2010 10:58PM
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Otter.
Posts: 1161 - Karma: 84

haha i was there.

I was standing in line for the lift and i have the 2010 k2 disorderly and they are bright green and orange on the bases and it looks like they are glowing on the snow. Gaper taps me with his pole...

Gaper : How do get your skis to glow like that?
Me : (Thinking he was joking)  Magic.
Gaper : No seriously. How do they do that?
Me : Uhhhh......
Gaper : You got some double-A batteries built into those or somethin?

Then i proceeded to laugh my ass off and get on the lift.

Feb 21 2010 11:08PM
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alex.bgk.
Posts: 607 - Karma: 74
so on the lift with this middle aged gaper dude on rentals..

gaper: (points down at my afterbangs) hey i bet those things carve real good

me: uhm theyre not really for that

followed by the explanation of freeskiing
Feb 22 2010 12:32AM
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Jamestown
Posts: 4002 - Karma: 51
Everytime I get on the lift with my Donner Parties, it's pretty much a gaper fest of strange questions.
Feb 22 2010 12:34AM
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shredsteez
Posts: 71 - Karma: 10
hahaha wtf
Feb 22 2010 1:28AM
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Freshbakedbread
Posts: 949 - Karma: 483
I was killin it in the park, and this overweight poser/gaper in flying colors and aviators says, "WOW, You're like the Lebron James of skiing" He must not know who Tom Wallisch is
Feb 22 2010 8:48AM
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JWoods
Posts: 2369 - Karma: 2,635
Wearing the same shirt I always have like five people say "huh huh so do you like ski or something" or "Do you snowboard" all I do is laugh at them awkwardly and walk away
Feb 22 2010 8:28PM
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steezemonkey
Posts: 369 - Karma: 35
hellbents have the same thing since i am residing in the midwest currently its just absurd how many people will even take pictures of them
Feb 23 2010 8:57PM
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steezemonkey
Posts: 369 - Karma: 35
sorry on the back to back post but i am a ginger and every day at school i get told "holy shit did you see sean white he looks just like you!!!" or "are you a snowboarder like sean white" and so on and i just am thinking "wow" even if i am wearing my i am a skier hoodie i get asked these
Feb 23 2010 9:06PM
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gabe.
Posts: 1891 - Karma: 47
so i was watching an edit of some skiers hitting up some urban in french class, and the kid next to me was like "why are they skiing in the city? that makes no sense!"

Feb 23 2010 9:27PM
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turbo_penguin
Posts: 282 - Karma: 15
in 2002, i was abruptly followcam'ed by a snowplowing texan in camo through the park. he muttered something about skiing backwards. possibly a career highlight.
Feb 23 2010 10:54PM
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katieski9
Posts: 1 - Karma: 10
My friend and I went off a small cliff (like 15 ft, maybe) and when we got to the bottom of the run, these guys were like, "Dude those are the girls that went off that huge cliff!" like this was the most amazing thing they had ever seen, and then they preceded to try and follow us down the mountain, but somehow managed to run into each other.
Feb 24 2010 12:55AM
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JWoods
Posts: 2369 - Karma: 2,635
In the lift line
Gaper: Yo dawg that's a nice jacket
Me: Thanks dude
Gaper: What brand is that uhhh *staring* Armando?
Me: no its Armada *get on chair*
Gaper: Oh....
Feb 24 2010 12:59AM
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Apresbang
Posts: 618 - Karma: 276
He clearly wasn't wearing very good camo if you saw him.
Feb 24 2010 10:00AM
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T_h_o_m_a_s
Posts: 201 - Karma: 341
how is that a gaper thing to say.
Feb 24 2010 1:15PM
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JahJahBinks
Posts: 3567 - Karma: 461
There are to many to name....
Feb 24 2010 1:27PM
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murs
Posts: 1684 - Karma: 109
watching the olympics with my mother

a girl falls in the pipe and bottoms out( nothing serious)

then my mum says" OH NO how does she get out"

i was like" ..... "
Feb 24 2010 3:44PM
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Kcin
Posts: 1845 - Karma: 58
i have a big white saga sticker on my 09 watch lifes and some kid(dont really know how he knew about saga) complemented me on my "sick saga skis."
Feb 24 2010 3:49PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
He probably knows nothing about Saga and just assumed Saga was the ski's brand. A similar thing was said here. Guy had a Volcom sticker on his skis and a gaper asks when Volcom started making skis.
Feb 24 2010 4:23PM
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Kcin
Posts: 1845 - Karma: 58
Oobviously he didnt know much but its pretty cool that saga is starting to reach out to a demographic beyond that of just newschoolers
Feb 24 2010 4:27PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
I don't think he knew anything. And I think Saga is still firmly rooted to Newschoolers. Give 'em 10 years and they won't be as rooted.
Feb 24 2010 4:37PM
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ColButch
Posts: 40 - Karma: 10
As i was on facebook a guy i kinda know messages me.
Gaper: Are you sponcered?
Me: No im not really good enough to be.
Gaper: oh well i saw that video you made.(The video was an edit made by my friend had made which only had 4 shots of me in it.)
Me: Na man that was my friends.
Gaper: Oh well i think i can get sponcered.
Me: how?
Gaper: send in a video to Fuel TV
Me: How good are you?
Gaper: well i can do 3's and boardslide funboxes.

Feb 24 2010 5:10PM
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remove
Posts: 2566 - Karma: 1,026

*sponsered

Feb 24 2010 5:19PM
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CrunkNugget
Posts: 1279 - Karma: 16
*sponsored
Feb 24 2010 11:37PM
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rach
Posts: 917 - Karma: 507
lol
Feb 24 2010 11:47PM
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JWoods
Posts: 2369 - Karma: 2,635
Because he doesn't know about Armada, he had been staring at the symbol and the actual company name for like a minute and a half
Feb 25 2010 12:23AM
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