Member of the Month

hi_vis360
November, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

The best gaper quotes

profile picture
RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
profile picture
j.saaaarela
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 856
best gape quote in a while
Feb 9 2010 12:11AM
0 0
profile picture
LightAscension
Posts: 245 - Karma: 60

gaper - so those are them acrobat skis?

me - sure.

gaper - wanna show me some 'flippy doo dads'?

he proceeded to follow me through the park clacking his poles together everytime i did anything at all. i hope people didnt think i was with him.

Feb 9 2010 1:06AM
0 0
profile picture
Sveetski
Posts: 572 - Karma: 22
You know you might be able to do those tricks your trying to do easier on a snowboard
Feb 9 2010 11:07AM
0 0
profile picture
Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
Jordan Jennings Back in from snow boarding... Deep snow is so sick once it's packed down
Feb 9 2010 5:49PM
0 0
profile picture
SgtSteamy
Posts: 498 - Karma: 202
A spring day on the Snowbasin Gondola [it was like 45 degrees the day before and like 20 this day, so naturally the place was an ice rink].

Gaper: I'm from the East... You know what they say about skiing the east.
Me: Haha Yeah not the best?
Gaper: Yeah I'm loving it here. Best ski day I've had in a decade.
Me: uh????????
Feb 9 2010 6:14PM
0 0
profile picture
fratskier69
Posts: 1868 - Karma: 1,273
ok, this thread is turning into a fail, i can find 4 quotes on this page alone that are complete lies,
and worse of all it is becoming an argument of people saying
"be nice to gapers"
and people being complete dicks to gapers,

Feb 9 2010 9:00PM
0 0
profile picture
joshua
Posts: 5046 - Karma: 1,280
Conditions are not the only thing that can make a day epic. Mabeye he was just killing it that day?
Feb 10 2010 10:02PM
0 0
profile picture
nepnw11
Posts: 105 - Karma: 163
hahahahahahaha thats fucking hilarious!! this thread kicks ass

i love skiing switch down the easy slopes so all the gapers can freak out...so funny
Feb 10 2010 11:49PM
0 0
profile picture
Sherpa
Posts: 270 - Karma: 1,774
"do those twin dippers mean you can go both ways"
Feb 11 2010 1:13AM
0 0
profile picture
SgtSteamy
Posts: 498 - Karma: 202
Haha this made me laugh. Even at 5 in the morning!!! HAHAHAHAHA
Feb 11 2010 7:25AM
0 0
profile picture
newschooler12345
Posts: 45 - Karma: 8

"Skiing is fun!"

Feb 11 2010 7:51AM
0 0
profile picture
Evilchris
Posts: 2090 - Karma: 44
Yes it is. Do you not enjoy skiing?
Feb 11 2010 9:58AM
0 0
profile picture
CrunkNugget
Posts: 1279 - Karma: 16
uhm i guess i'm a gaper??
Feb 11 2010 3:29PM
0 0
profile picture
ChrisSkisChronic
Posts: 1128 - Karma: 230
There is a word for people such as yourself, I believe it is cunt
Feb 11 2010 5:24PM
0 0
profile picture
Big_Shane
Posts: 132 - Karma: 11
As far as I can tell, this thread is for quotes, not to beak gapers. And the "Skiing is fun" quote, is a quote. I don't think that it was posted because they wanted to make fun of it, cause we all know skiing is in fact, fun. In my opinion, this is one of the best quotes on here, since it means that a gaper is stoked on skiing, and is going to help support the industry.
Feb 11 2010 5:55PM
0 0
profile picture
CrunkNugget
Posts: 1279 - Karma: 16
you just injected way too much serious into this thread.

die now
Feb 11 2010 7:40PM
0 0
profile picture
mseward
Posts: 1041 - Karma: 1,243

haha my friends dad was all like i used to get like 10 seconds of air off moguls when i was a kid , i was almost as high up as the whole hill , and i had the best inverted helicopter  in my school

Feb 12 2010 6:59PM
0 0
profile picture
Scrambles
Posts: 2270 - Karma: 63
racer team(my parents and brother are realy big into racing): "Do you think you look cool in your baggy jacket and snowpants?" Me: "Do you think you look cool with your skin tight speed suits and tight jackets+snowpants?" them: "yes, actually we do." me: .... then left
Feb 13 2010 1:58AM
0 0
profile picture
hjb
Posts: 742 - Karma: 40
Not really a quote but saw a guy skiing in a pair of Roxy boots, I found it quite funny, he was none the wiser
Feb 13 2010 2:02AM
0 0
profile picture
Sherpa
Posts: 270 - Karma: 1,774
Denver Airport, yesterday

Gaper: Hey man you in some kinda hockey tournament?

Me: umm no sorry, not that i know of

Gaper:Cause I seen a whole heaps of your guys with those long bags, (points to ski bag)

Me: nar mate their skis,(trying not to cringe/laugh too hard)

Feb 13 2010 11:11AM
0 0
profile picture
03gade
Posts: 856 - Karma: 3,263
i know theres been alot of skepticism  about how true these quotes have been but i promise this is true

here we have snowboard gaper and twintip ski gaper

ski gaper: "There's no such thing as a twin tip snowboard"
snbrd :" No this is definitiely twin tipped because it doesn't have rocker technology."

they then proceed to hike up the mini park
Feb 13 2010 4:49PM
0 0
profile picture
CrunkNugget
Posts: 1279 - Karma: 16
i was thinking of posting the exact same thing. in between olympics i tend to forget how gaper moguls is
Feb 13 2010 11:05PM
0 0
profile picture
Scrambles
Posts: 2270 - Karma: 63

2 quotes from ex racer brother.

1:  "wow i got such bad afterbang on that jump!!!" talking about pain from casing 6 foot jump i laughed so hard

2: Me:"hey brad want to go in the park?

Brother: "No were at a mountain lets actualy ski some groomers!"

Me: "so you quit racing just to carve more groomers?"

Brother:"No i dont carve anymore."

btw he has a pair of dynastar serial troubles so hes got a park ski

Feb 13 2010 11:25PM
0 0
profile picture
OGHolliday
Posts: 2390 - Karma: 2,430
I was getting my skis out of the car and a guy walks up to me and says "do you have those double tips so you can go back up the hill to?" He then laughed and walked away.
Feb 13 2010 11:40PM
0 0
profile picture
Apresbang
Posts: 618 - Karma: 276
Haha, thats actually kinda funny.
Feb 14 2010 8:36AM
0 0
profile picture
j.saaaarela
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 856
a completely straight up spin IS called a heli. since now, nobody does straight up 3's any more, nobody calls it a heli.
Feb 14 2010 8:01PM
0 0
profile picture
j.saaaarela
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 856
"whats an ollie oop?"
Feb 14 2010 8:01PM
0 0
profile picture
..jack
Posts: 424 - Karma: 897
I've been working in a hire shop for the last few days....get so many gaper's in it's incredible.

A oldish guy asked me, "What's it called when the skiers do all the jumps?"
"Freestyle skiing??" I said
"Oh, so not hotdogging?"
"Errr it, was called that like 30 years ago"
" So i'm right it IS called hotdogging!!"
"Well....no...."

Then he ran to his son and said that he was right about it being called hotdogging.



LAWL



Feb 15 2010 8:17AM
0 0
profile picture
little1337
Posts: 8241 - Karma: 47,867

 I was skiing down and jumped over a slow sighn and a patroll oficer got sooooo pissed and came over to me and said " Do you know why I am talking to you?"  I said " I was going wayyyy yo fast" And he says That and u jumped without a spotter!

Feb 15 2010 5:26PM
0 0
profile picture
Sean*Miller
Posts: 244 - Karma: 46
i have legitimately seen a man with his ski boots on the wrong feet, i a,so love when kids on the lfit yell to do a backflip. One thing i notice and maybe other people do is that a gaper who doesnt know tricks thinks everything is a misty? a rodeo-"omg did you see that misty?"
Feb 15 2010 5:51PM
0 0
profile picture
Testicles
Posts: 1432 - Karma: 13
or when you do a cork and theyre like OMG BACKFLIP@#!
Feb 15 2010 5:53PM
0 0
profile picture
Pmoore
Posts: 1802 - Karma: 1,246
my favorite is from a lifty at round top.

"Why is everything your wearing so big and your poles so small?"


Feb 15 2010 6:12PM
1 0
profile picture
CrunkNugget
Posts: 1279 - Karma: 16
pretty sure we've all heard that one lol
Feb 15 2010 7:00PM
0 0
profile picture
ALLwhiteBRICKS
Posts: 18 - Karma: 19
my roommate just asked me why people always land backwards
Feb 15 2010 9:09PM
0 0
profile picture
J.DUKE
Posts: 1233 - Karma: 38
...release lever was in upright position.




word.
Feb 16 2010 7:30PM
0 0
profile picture
Kangbang
Posts: 14211 - Karma: 423

this isnt me but its my friend.
friend is putting on his hotdogger's (this years)
Gaper: why do u have really old boots?
friend: i just got the a week ago
gaper: why are they red?
friend: because full tilt decided to make thier hot doggers red this year.
gaper: whats a full tilt and whats a hot dogger?
friend: they are my boots.
convo continued for 5 mins about my friends skis and stuff. it was insane

Feb 16 2010 7:43PM
0 0
profile picture
KennyC
Posts: 1922 - Karma: 46
ya i skid switch buy a bunch of kids with a ski instructer and i heard one say "i wanna be that good some day"
Feb 16 2010 7:55PM
0 0
profile picture
fratskier69
Posts: 1868 - Karma: 1,273
 haha at my hill everyone says was that a flatspin?? instead or rodeo, like i did a cork 5 and someone said
(in french) "beau flat 5"
Feb 16 2010 9:22PM
0 0
profile picture
8088
Posts: 1090 - Karma: 158

ok so my parents were comming through the park so i could show them the fives that i just learned how to do. after i fived a kid went and did a rodeo so i knew i was going to get some stuff to put on this thread from them

mom: holy cow did you see that helicopter

dad: wow thats amazing i bet he will be in the olypics some day

mom: wow thats incredibly and i just landed and rode down like it wasnt even a good trick.

dad: i know

mom: his friends arnt even congradulating him!!!

the whole car ride home went like this

Feb 16 2010 9:31PM
1 0
profile picture
120494435941
Posts: 0 - Karma: 37
haha i was at Steamboat on the lift with my chronics and some southern Snowboard guy goes "those skis are so crazy, they must spin like a top on those pipes and boxes
me:yea
gaper:so whats the point of the rears being all curled up
me: haha it makes it easier to shank people in my way while im going backwards.
gaper:noway. have you ever shanked anyone.
me: only people that go really slow down the mountain
gaper: oh. your not going to shank me.
me: (i stare at him then just look up the hill)

he seems like he's getting nervous, and at the top of the lift he tries to get off quickly then looks back at me and falls over
Feb 16 2010 10:37PM
1 1
profile picture
GILLSKI
Posts: 1250 - Karma: 361
I was talking to this boarder chick from school,  and she referred to groomed snow as corduroy snow.  I never heard that term,  maybe its just me.
Feb 18 2010 2:38PM
0 3
profile picture
superpoluha
Posts: 1986 - Karma: 10
can you freestyle those?
Feb 18 2010 3:09PM
0 0
profile picture
Raptor.
Posts: 784 - Karma: 255
yes, its just you
Feb 18 2010 3:12PM
1 0
profile picture
Chompo.
Posts: 4952 - Karma: 88
This kid is riding by me. Dude you have midget poles
Feb 18 2010 3:18PM
1 0
profile picture
ferrariowner123
Posts: 1623 - Karma: 28
that makes you the gayper, because that what groomed snow has been called for the last 20 years or so, way to fail,
Feb 18 2010 3:18PM
0 0
profile picture
Brenone
Posts: 4944 - Karma: 296
Click for larger image
Feb 18 2010 3:21PM
5 0
profile picture
GILLSKI
Posts: 1250 - Karma: 361
thats why I didnt call her a Gaper......  Ive never heard it before. 
Feb 18 2010 4:19PM
0 0
profile picture
Smokey.
Posts: 236 - Karma: 26
My mountain was swarming with jersey gapers this week. Also had an Atomic Demo day.

Gaper- I love these skis (Points to next year's Punx on his feet). They make me tons higher when I hit that jump (points to a 5 foot table top)
Me- *facepalm*

Another gaper had a pair of Snoops on and proceeded to double-eject while waiting in the lift line.
Feb 18 2010 5:15PM
1 0
profile picture
ChrisSkisChronic
Posts: 1128 - Karma: 230
I forgot about this one.

A month or so ago my friend and I are on the lift. There is a kid below us who shouts to his friend "watch me get BIG AIR!" He lines himself up for a shitty little foot tall lip that sends you 5 feet, max. He's still riding up the lip when both of his skis pre-release. He gets tossed and were laughing like hell
Feb 18 2010 6:00PM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-5)