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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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*TURBONERD*
Posts: 15081 - Karma: 9,158
you from TGR?
Dec 6 2009 9:19PM
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ReetsAdeets
Posts: 1531 - Karma: 611
Guy did the same thing with my old Chronics. Refused too mount them for "liability." Haha, I called line right there and got that taken care of
Dec 6 2009 11:14PM
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ReetsAdeets
Posts: 1531 - Karma: 611
Wore a Tall T too school one day. I walk into math, where I sit next to some chick.
Her- Why are you wearing a dress?
I made my friend switch seats with me that day.

Also, I love the kids who are 5ft with XL Saga suits and Elizabeths who have the uncanny knack too always be hiking up the hill too get their skis (after crashing when they went going straight over the 3ft wide box thats about 8ft long) every time I see them. And then they ask me how too get too chads gap from the bottom of alta and I tell them too look up their ass.
Dec 6 2009 11:50PM
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Trojan~Man
Posts: 1996 - Karma: 1,357
"seriously, the skier slide needs a name."
Dec 6 2009 11:58PM
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COrider
Posts: 1498 - Karma: 23
no
Dec 7 2009 12:53AM
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gnarmada
Posts: 235 - Karma: 17
i have long hair and one kid asked me if it was real. dumbest question i have ever heard
Dec 7 2009 7:37PM
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*TURBONERD*
Posts: 15081 - Karma: 9,158
oh... thought JONG was a tgr term. my bad haha
Dec 7 2009 7:51PM
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PeterWojnar
Posts: 3937 - Karma: 678
it is. He is what's known as a maggot, and to him, you are a JONG. Because you're not a maggot.
Dec 7 2009 10:38PM
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Oreos
Posts: 1207 - Karma: 38
i frequently got asked if my hair is a wig, i have very think hair so in clubs etc drunk people would just come up to me feel it and ask if it was a wig.

i've cut it shorter now.
Dec 8 2009 3:26AM
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COrider
Posts: 1498 - Karma: 23
yeah i can see where you got that, my friend started saying it so i caught me.  He went on there to try and sell some skis, they are some unfriendly people.
Dec 8 2009 11:40AM
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gnarmada
Posts: 235 - Karma: 17
i had mine short for a while but its long again and now i get more dumb questions
Dec 8 2009 4:28PM
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WVskiing
Posts: 3007 - Karma: 1,949
it snowed this weekend

gaber:what you do this weekend
me: we had a rail jam
Gaber:skateboard?
Me:skis
gaber: cool, can you back flip
me:no
gaber: whats the best trick you can do
Me: 360, workin on 540
Gaber:wow, your good
Me: not really
Gaber: do you want to be a pro skier when you grow up
Me: no

then the bell rung
Dec 8 2009 4:47PM
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COrider
Posts: 1498 - Karma: 23
what does maggot mean?
Dec 8 2009 4:48PM
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thebeesknees
Posts: 3660 - Karma: 160
lol hes saying dope and doesnt know what line is...
Dec 8 2009 5:07PM
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thebeesknees
Posts: 3660 - Karma: 160
you shouldnt be on NS.  leave.
Dec 8 2009 5:11PM
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Spacekroft
Posts: 1332 - Karma: 41
cant wait for some new epic gaper quotes for this year! my threads
Dec 8 2009 5:30PM
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PeterWojnar
Posts: 3937 - Karma: 678
I have an AMAZING story:

One time, I was on NS, and someone told a gaper story, but instead of "gaper", he said "gaber". LOL!
Dec 8 2009 9:00PM
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*TURBONERD*
Posts: 15081 - Karma: 9,158
TGR member
Dec 8 2009 9:06PM
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Gameboy
Posts: 2657 - Karma: 127

I was at  a gay mountain last year with my cousins and i was hitting a jump. At the top of the hill i turn backwards to hit it. a Ski patrol was on the side of the jump. When he saw me, he ran on the kicker to stop me. So I brake ( I almost hit him ). Then:

me: Why did you do that

ski patrol: It is dangerous to ski backwards you could hurt someone

me:What you did was even more dangerous

Him: If i catch you skiing backwards again, i kick you out

Me: how i am supposed to hit this jump switch?

Him: You can't

I went away, he was such an asshole.

Dec 8 2009 9:52PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
^ oh god that is annoying.
Dec 8 2009 9:57PM
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PaleCelery
Posts: 7228 - Karma: 609
same thing has happened to me before, they just dont understand.

Just because they cant control their skis goign switch doesnt mean we cant haha
Dec 8 2009 10:00PM
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Gameboy
Posts: 2657 - Karma: 127

yeah another ski patrol told me:

I've been skiing for 9 years and I still can't ski backwards correctly, how long have you been skiing for.

Me: two years

Ski patrol: You don't have enough experience.. bla bla bla

I had to listen to him for 10 minutes because we were on the chairlift, just me and him. FML

Dec 8 2009 10:05PM
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Brognar
Posts: 44 - Karma: 10
https://newschoolers.com/web/forums/readthread/thread_id/505443/
Dec 8 2009 10:36PM
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COrider
Posts: 1498 - Karma: 23
lol
Dec 9 2009 1:20PM
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mmallender.
Posts: 5805 - Karma: 936
Mitch

yeah i havent been to seymour yet

ill probably keep hitting up grouse since i have a pass up there


********

i rode the goldie park all day on Sat.


Mitch

nice


********

its got that After bang style setup at the bottom totally skatepark style.


anyone know what an after bang style setup in the park is? i tried to get him to explain it for me but it just made me even more confused after that


this conversation is going on as we speak, ill see if there is anything more as it goes

Dec 10 2009 2:25AM
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fk.ths.noys
Posts: 70 - Karma: 10
That's no gaper quote that's what I'm thinkin everytime is see one of you Gunsols
Dec 10 2009 3:05AM
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YooperSteeze
Posts: 1248 - Karma: 45
Today, opening day of my mountain, I was wearing my new SPKs, and 3 or 4 people all asked me why I was wearing two different boots.
Dec 10 2009 5:41PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
An old one but a classic.
Dec 10 2009 6:21PM
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Goku
Posts: 8119 - Karma: 4,223
i got in the lift with an older guy today and he asked me i how i liked those "double enders" i was skiiing on
Dec 10 2009 8:47PM
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fatherb
Posts: 1510 - Karma: 173
my brother and my friend were watching edias on my ipod and this kid came up to us, and we tricked him into thinking my dad filmed it and that i was john spriggs, and bro and friend were cr johnson and tanner hall.
Dec 10 2009 9:11PM
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bustinthejus
Posts: 2419 - Karma: 74
my threads... the season's starting real soon so I'm sure I'll have some gaper quotes soon to add in here.
Dec 11 2009 12:59AM
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jason...
Posts: 9006 - Karma: 780
hahaha, that has got to be the only funny reply to a gaper i have read in this thread.
Dec 11 2009 1:18AM
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jibjunkie
Posts: 3807 - Karma: 191
so today i was chatting it up with this kid that im pretty tight with and i knew he skied but not freestyle so anyways he goes:
him: last year i almost did a 350
me: dont you mean 360?
him: no man i was a little bit off and then i crashed
me: ok

Dec 11 2009 3:15PM
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TheStudioCC
Posts: 2092 - Karma: 366
one day some kid asked me if i wanted to camp the box with him
Dec 11 2009 3:25PM
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kgirvan
Posts: 442 - Karma: 53
i just lol'd
Dec 11 2009 4:51PM
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steezemonkey
Posts: 369 - Karma: 35
early season at copper
Some gaper is fucking walking across the run and this snow boarder is just cooking
snow boarder yells move it dumbass
....................................................
.
..
/ ...................

............

.......................
.................................


5 minutes later gaper yells
ASSHOLE
Dec 12 2009 12:44AM
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pomme-de-terre
Posts: 3915 - Karma: 703
i got such a fucking good one the other day.
im snowboarder, and the tip/tail of my board has a bunch of stickers on it.

some young gaper kid asks "don't all those stickers make your board heavy?"
it made me laugh.

i also saw some kid hiking rails today with a 160cm tapered directional Salomon sick stick, it has a pointed nose and setback stance. i didnt even know what so say.
Dec 13 2009 11:22PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 37423 - Karma: 120,629
I was riding up the lift today at brighton and there was a shitload of pow.
Gaper - "There is soo much powder"

Me - "Oh yeah, its pretty deep."

Gaper - "Yeah, I'm almost as good a seen petite" (He meant sean petitt)

Me - "I think his name is pronounced "Shawn Pet-tit"

Gaper - "No, I'm almost positive its "seen". Anyways who cares, i'm better than him. (He was riding salomon Ten-Eightys with shitty marker rental bindings)

Me - "I bet you are......)


Dec 14 2009 12:09AM
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calebfromcanada
Posts: 285 - Karma: 44
i was working the lifts the other day and saw a boarder wearing white splices. I said nice splices and he looked down at his board and bindings and said thanks
Dec 14 2009 8:44PM
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Pablo_Sanchez
Posts: 698 - Karma: 5,545
10 yr old snowboarder- does 360 off a 10 ft jump and falls
10 yr old friend- WOAH U ALMOST LANDED A 900!
Dec 14 2009 8:49PM
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TheDude
Posts: 2058 - Karma: 117

(after we havent had snow for 2 weeks and there is not fresh)

me: so you guys haven a good day?

gapers; ya we just got here, were going to the backside to look for powder.

me: oh you probably dont waNNAdo the the whole mountains a cube of ice...

gapers: oh we know how to find the powder dont worry.

me: good luch (music +volume)

not really that bad i just thought it was sad...

Dec 14 2009 9:27PM
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B.Lyfe
Posts: 624 - Karma: 116
Gaper 1 = guy wearing tall t's with like 150's: (he was around 5'10")

Gaper : Skibladez OOOOOO

He then hits a jump straight air and flails horribly with no grab.

Then I hit the same jump on 110s and did a rodeo 5 nose grab.

I ski by him and call HIM a wannabe ... LoL

-B
Dec 14 2009 9:43PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
^pwned.
Dec 15 2009 10:02AM
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Lemuel
Posts: 14495 - Karma: 10,666
Last week I saw the like 60 year old gaper on hellbents flying down Liftline at Stowe.  He was flailing all over the place.  And it wasn't quite the day for hellbents, I mean there was like 5 inches on the trails but it was all choppy, and there was no way this guy was going into the woods to get some.
Dec 15 2009 10:23AM
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Soups
Posts: 1236 - Karma: 18
Saturday on a quad lift...

Gaper - 'What kind of skis are those? They look like snowboards" (referring to my Octolands)

Me - "They're twin tip skis"

Gaper - "Oh those suck, do they even have edges? I didn't think you could even turn with those. You should get better skis, you'll never ski right if you're not learning to use your edges"

Me - "Oh thanks. I'll look into it..."

/sigh
Dec 15 2009 10:37AM
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Fischer-Addicted
Posts: 1064 - Karma: 30
hahahahaha classic A+++++++++++
Dec 15 2009 12:04PM
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oreopancake.
Posts: 2596 - Karma: 21
some racer fag on the lift last weekend was annoying me:

Gaper: "I don't see why skiers would want to ruin their skis by skiing in powder when the mountain makes all these great groomed runs!"
Me: "Yeah..."

She also told me my skis were on backwards..
Dec 16 2009 9:12PM
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mezzy
Posts: 298 - Karma: 15
wow. that is the dumbest thing ive ever heard a gaper say i think.
Dec 17 2009 12:51AM
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Pig
Posts: 42 - Karma: 13

Gaper: Aye Mang..You gots then double tips?

Me: Do you not see 2 fucking tips?

Gaper: Aint no need to get fiesty mang.

Me Shut the fuck up. and quit callin me mang.

Gaper: I gots a question though, can you do a backflip?

Dec 17 2009 1:06PM
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treebeard
Posts: 3668 - Karma: 2,001
i'm about 2 more fake stories away from killing my thread watch.
this entire thread is complete garbage now.
Dec 17 2009 1:18PM
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