Member of the Month

hi_vis360
November, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

The best gaper quotes

profile picture
RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
profile picture
Nooschoolers
Posts: 577 - Karma: 32
him: cool skis
me: thanks
him: are they twinbacks?
me: you could ball them that.
him: do they make twin back snowboards?
Me: **************
Nov 23 2009 2:58PM
0 0
profile picture
mason-
Posts: 955 - Karma: 45

me: night skiing can suck sometimes cuz everything gets so icy ( i live east coast)

gaper snowboarder friend: yeah but not the landings for the jumps, those are always powder cuz everyone always hits them

me: yeah.... 

Nov 23 2009 3:00PM
0 0
profile picture
weley
Posts: 387 - Karma: 195
yep, they only keep the lead foot strapped in on the biggest mountains
Nov 23 2009 4:35PM
0 0
profile picture
jeremy.g
Posts: 4931 - Karma: 459
so this kid who is a year younger than me, and was on the same soccer team at me texts me the other day,
hey i just got some elan twintips from the rental shop. am i still going to be able to do backsides(refering to switch) and moguls? i laughed for so long.
Nov 23 2009 7:36PM
0 0
profile picture
kpow
Posts: 373 - Karma: 33
now do all of your friends have those backboard skis?  (twintips)
Nov 23 2009 7:41PM
0 0
profile picture
Jenser
Posts: 375 - Karma: 16

almost as long as the chads thread...

just sayin

Nov 23 2009 7:50PM
0 0
profile picture
207
Posts: 8969 - Karma: 3,846
just found this on Jiberish's facebook:

Alex Young Wana Hook Us Up with some stickers?
Clay Sweitzer
me 3
November 17 at 8:00pm ·

Gaelin Armstrong
they dont give stickers away or even sell them read there website
Sat at 6:39pm · 

Elliot Roberts
they say they only give them to artists or team members
Yesterday at 10:11am · 

Clay Sweitzer
ik that i just wanted to see if they would give me some. Somtimes the pros give them away to there friends and stuff.
Yesterday at 10:36am · 

Elliot Roberts
yeah if u got to windells tom will give u some
Yesterday at 8:09pm · 


Nov 23 2009 7:51PM
0 0
profile picture
Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
^meh...
Nov 23 2009 7:58PM
0 0
profile picture
207
Posts: 8969 - Karma: 3,846
it wasn't really gaperish except for the last two.
Nov 23 2009 8:02PM
0 0
profile picture
Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
^you're right, tom wallnuts doesn't hang around windells.
Nov 23 2009 8:29PM
0 0
profile picture
TheDude
Posts: 2058 - Karma: 117

waiting for my freinds after skiing switch.

Old gaper: why dont you go faster by people and try to kill some one

me: okay ill try that:

same run i lost a ski after trying a one in powder haha

Old gaper : see what i mean bombing into the run on your double siders!!

me: i was ion control...

Old gaper: do you drive your car like that!!

me: if my car was made to drive like it ya i wuld..

old gaper well im gunna get your pass away!!

me: go for it *fagget*

not really a quote but it made me feel good to show some old fag whos a boss while he tryed to be authoritative.

Nov 23 2009 8:36PM
0 0
profile picture
s.miller
Posts: 268 - Karma: 95
"was that a dinner roll?!?!?"
Nov 23 2009 8:41PM
0 0
profile picture
Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
Lemmie guess, you kept your pass. That's what I call a crotchety cock.
Nov 23 2009 8:57PM
0 0
profile picture
TheDude
Posts: 2058 - Karma: 117
yessir i did. them old folks just don tlike them double tipped skis goin down the mountain the wrong way.
Nov 23 2009 9:10PM
0 0
profile picture
Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
^haven't run into one of those, but I have a lot of racers. When the season starts, I'm sure to get plenty of remarks..
Nov 23 2009 9:17PM
0 0
profile picture
TheWiseOne
Posts: 858 - Karma: 24
my threads
Nov 23 2009 10:15PM
0 0
profile picture
OCEAN
Posts: 89 - Karma: 15
I was at this trade show type thing selling our wax the other day, and on the table I had a snowboard set up half waxed / half not so that people could see the difference more clearly (it wasn't a snowsport specific show). A lot of people were coming by, some that knew a lot about skiing and all that, and some not so much. This older lady came walking by and it went like this:

Lady: Oh, snowboard wax.
Me: Ya, all natural Ski & Snowboard wax.
Lady: No, just snowboard wax.
Me: Skis too, its the same stuff.
Lady: No, skis don't need to be waxed anymore.
Me: ...
Nov 23 2009 10:29PM
0 0
profile picture
sjm
Posts: 27 - Karma: 19
too bad it snows a ton in eastern europe
Nov 23 2009 11:21PM
0 0
profile picture
Peach.
Posts: 3879 - Karma: 933
I have actually got that to. I have no idea where people pull that bs out of.
Nov 24 2009 11:50AM
0 0
profile picture
Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
I'd call them out about where they heard that.
Nov 24 2009 12:47PM
0 0
profile picture
Broseph_Stalin
Posts: 3745 - Karma: 179
one gaper on the lift with me was a hillbily fag. he pronounced gondola: "gon- dole-a" and said it slowly with an accent on the "dole". lol
Nov 24 2009 5:05PM
0 0
profile picture
zylstra
Posts: 3613 - Karma: 125
thats actually pretty good
Nov 24 2009 6:15PM
0 0
profile picture
kgirvan
Posts: 442 - Karma: 53
"you cant nollie on skis "
Nov 25 2009 2:51PM
0 0
profile picture
frontline31
Posts: 158 - Karma: 15

XC Skis.

Nov 25 2009 3:17PM
0 0
profile picture
frontline31
Posts: 158 - Karma: 15

Sorry, should have elaborted a little.

"Fishscale" XC skis, with textured bottoms to propel you forward are (relatively) new.

Before that, there were special waxes to make your skis perform in the same way. I think they were called "Kickwaxes" or something like that.

Maybe thats what the lady was talking about.

Nov 25 2009 3:20PM
0 0
profile picture
Peach.
Posts: 3879 - Karma: 933

That could be. However I was on the lift when I was told I was stupid and "uninformed" by in ignorant fifty year old because you don't have to wax skis anymore.

This isn't really a gaper comment but I have to post it.

This weekend I was at my resort and as I was waiting in the liftline I got joined up with these two older guys.

 One of them says

 "Wow those are some fat skis you know he is looking for some pow"

 (they were lizzies so yeah to most people there fat)

 me "Actually eric pollard designed them as park skis but to most they just look like skinny ass snowboards"

Instantly They get this offended look on there face. It takes me less then a second to figure out what it is. I said ass.

After several tence seconds one of them says. "We are johova witnesses and we don't appreciate your language.

Great

I spent the whole lift ride getting preached to about god and how he saves. It was so much fun.

Dec 2 2009 11:01AM
0 0
profile picture
VPP
Posts: 250 - Karma: 15
Haha I feel bad for you.
Dec 2 2009 11:15AM
0 0
profile picture
PaleCelery
Posts: 7228 - Karma: 609
a great time to jump off the lift
Dec 2 2009 11:33AM
0 0
profile picture
Gorno
Posts: 266 - Karma: 28
"who's this one for?"

"this one's for SATAN!"
Dec 2 2009 3:32PM
0 0
profile picture
PaleCelery
Posts: 7228 - Karma: 609
Read the last comment

Click for larger image
Dec 2 2009 3:36PM
0 0
profile picture
Magnetic
Posts: 845 - Karma: 229
awesome find
Dec 2 2009 3:59PM
0 0
profile picture
Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
Yeah that's great. Ah, facebook is the best place to find skiing ignorance.
Dec 2 2009 4:19PM
0 0
profile picture
3R1C
Posts: 367 - Karma: 14
liar
Dec 2 2009 4:24PM
0 0
profile picture
3R1C
Posts: 367 - Karma: 14
jerk
Dec 2 2009 4:42PM
0 0
profile picture
chicken
Posts: 6843 - Karma: 2,121
I got asked if I was on level one on sunday. They were not gapers they were just young kids pretty stoked on skiing I guess. I was wearing a toque that said level one that I got since refresh took so long to ship. I think my 3 year old skis and my 2 year old red oakley suit might have given it away that I am not on level one.
Dec 2 2009 4:52PM
0 0
profile picture
j.saaaarela
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 856

i was once asked:

"i don't want to do the whole jump, so how much speed do you need to go halfway?"

This was probably a 16 year old kid, talking about the last jump in King's Crown last year.....

Dec 2 2009 10:31PM
0 0
profile picture
Ducky.
Posts: 5811 - Karma: 1,420
thats trippy
Dec 3 2009 1:59AM
0 0
profile picture
COrider
Posts: 1498 - Karma: 23
I was reading this thread and was bummed that i had no input for it, until last weekend. 
Conversation between an older couple husband and wife
wife- well we haven't done this run 'tilt' (monarchs run with opening day set up with rails and boxes)
Husband- we passed that one, it has all those toys.

this one is less of a quote just more of a moment.  My friend and I were waiting for our ride to get back to the car so we were messing around by the lodge trying to put our skis on backwards.  He got his but mine wouldnt work.  so while trying to get my skis on this lady starts talking to my friend and I.
JONG lady- @my friend- Do you have special skis?
friend- uhh...
JL- i think you have those on wrong, the thing that pops up goes in the  back i think or are those special?
(directs her attention to me)
JL- here try this (attempts to put her much smaller boot into my bindings the wrong way as i just stare trying to keep a straight face)
me- (put on both skis the right way) ohhhh! thats way easier thanks!
JL- no problem.
friend- (puts skis back on the right way) this is way better!
JL- dont worry you'll get it some time or later. (walks away with jong family)
me and my friend just took our skis back off and laughed

Dec 3 2009 2:16AM
0 0
profile picture
sip166
Posts: 275 - Karma: 16
yea then he gets stuck in the jet of the hottub hahahaha
Dec 3 2009 2:34AM
0 0
profile picture
rozboon
Posts: 1642 - Karma: 868

You get some awesome comments when skiing Hellbents at a mountain that's not particularly snowy...

"They're trick skis. They're for doing tricks on"

"WOW. Did you put ski bindings on SNOWBOARDS?"

"Are those waterskis?!"

;/

Dec 3 2009 5:50AM
0 0
profile picture
Peach.
Posts: 3879 - Karma: 933
Welcome to the midwest.
Dec 3 2009 1:35PM
0 0
profile picture
Trojan~Man
Posts: 1996 - Karma: 1,357
sweet i just read this entire thread:P ...my threads for when i get a good quote later in the season!
Dec 3 2009 1:46PM
0 0
profile picture
sip166
Posts: 275 - Karma: 16
best thread ever. read to pg 26 lol.  i successfully converted my girlfriend from being gaper. now she hits jumps instead of the "little jumps by the rails"

so here is my funny gaper story;
i was a ski instructor for beginners like never been on a ski before. so i would guide the kids while skiing backwards. well i had to teach these 5 asian adults how to ski and i had them tell me that skiing backwards is dangerous and i shouldnt do it.  so i just said do u wanna teach me how to ski or r u gonna let me be the instructor
Dec 3 2009 5:53PM
0 0
profile picture
will-g
Posts: 1031 - Karma: 69
In class today
So im getting skis, what kind should i get? -chick
twin tips for sure, i saw you skiing last year.- me
fat gaper kid- wait are twin tips curved up on both sides
me- ya trick skis
fat gaper- oh those are gay i go skiing and i never rent the trick skis cause i like goin fast and you dont need them at all
me- ok its whatever
fat gaper- ya sallie(chick) you should get racing skis they are better for speed and just as good in the park.

fat gaper walks away
me-get twin tips
chick- ya i didnt know he could even ski he can barely get to class ontime.

she ended up getting some roxy's so gaperness didnt prevail
Dec 3 2009 9:03PM
0 0
profile picture
ONE-UP
Posts: 609 - Karma: 53
This happened last year:

me: hey i heard you got new skis

friend: yea theyre for doin tricks n stuff

me: whitch ones did you get

friend: Rossignol Bandits see how the tail is kind of tilted up?
Dec 3 2009 9:56PM
0 0
profile picture
Goku
Posts: 8119 - Karma: 4,223
the German exchange student on my ski team just got some new splices, here is his story:
Click for larger image
Dec 4 2009 11:11PM
0 0
profile picture
jason...
Posts: 9006 - Karma: 780
My friends mom was giving me and her daughter a ride home from my local hill the other day. She was trying to fit my skis under the seats in her mini van and they couldn't because of the tips on the back. Our conversation went like this.

"So what the hell do you have tips on the back of your skis for?"

"For going backwards"

"Now what the hell would you want to do that for?!?!"

Dec 4 2009 11:19PM
0 0
profile picture
chicken
Posts: 6843 - Karma: 2,121
Haha in addition to the level one quote. I heard these 2 while at mt.washington this weekend.

"I turn my bindings down to make spins easier"
"I use my other snowboard for flips, this one is for rails"


Dec 6 2009 7:21PM
0 0
profile picture
Dr.Brown
Posts: 588 - Karma: 21
This thread is epic.
Dec 6 2009 7:26PM
0 0
profile picture
thehaze
Posts: 58 - Karma: 36
if you dont know what a gaper is, chances are you are one
Dec 6 2009 8:02PM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-5)