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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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jamodeo
Posts: 3040 - Karma: 663
whats this stuff falling out of the sky?
Oct 15 2009 5:56PM
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griffin.paisley
Posts: 1520 - Karma: 38
haha heres my favorite one out of all my old stories..
hot girl at my school
her: griffin do you ski?
me: yeah
her: are you good?
me: i guess so
her: well, like, can you do blacks?
me: haha yeah
her: what about double blacks?
me: thats not really the type of skiing i do...
her: oh do you ride in the like obstical course?
me: haha yeah
her: can you do a backflip?
me: *walk away laughing so hard i cant stand straight*
Oct 16 2009 12:26AM
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PeterWojnar
Posts: 3937 - Karma: 678
You silly you! Everyone knows you can't do backflips until you can ski double blacks!
Oct 16 2009 12:29AM
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gretzels
Posts: 170 - Karma: 339
so... if you dont do dub blacks...then you must do dub backs
Oct 16 2009 12:51AM
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Charles.
Posts: 936 - Karma: 1,185

while i was at an open gym:

Guy: do you like skateboard

Me: no not really i ski tho

Guy: Oh.... like freestyle skiing?

Me: yeah

Guy: OH like Bode Millar?!

i kinda pretended i didnt hear this and walked away

Oct 16 2009 8:04AM
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Oreos
Posts: 1207 - Karma: 38
if a hot girl is slightly interested in skiing walking away isn't going to be my go to move if i'm honest. douch.
Oct 16 2009 8:25AM
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mezzy
Posts: 298 - Karma: 15

ya if its a hot girl then there can be an exception... its only ok for her to ask the stupid questions but its retarded if anyone else asks them. duh.

Oct 16 2009 12:40PM
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Peach.
Posts: 3879 - Karma: 933
maybe TAKE her skiing and show here what you do.
Oct 17 2009 4:42PM
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Lemuel
Posts: 14495 - Karma: 10,666
Haha I know right.  Maybe she was trying to give you a HINT?  You know, you can do blacks and double blacks, that's not the kind of skiing ski does, maybe she wants you to teach her.  Maybe she is into you?
Oct 17 2009 4:55PM
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Peach.
Posts: 3879 - Karma: 933

To bad he ruined it.

Oct 17 2009 6:49PM
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mezzy
Posts: 298 - Karma: 15

oh well... i guess we get a chance now... :)

Oct 17 2009 8:07PM
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JIB_WALRUS
Posts: 671 - Karma: 130
Gaper- "Were are your poles!"

Me- "........."

-White CON-
Oct 18 2009 9:34PM
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erikK
Posts: 3245 - Karma: 2,328
Random person adds me on facebook and starts talking to me.
Girl: Hey
Me: uh hey
Girl: nice snowsuit, it's very colourful.
me: ..thanks?
Oct 18 2009 11:59PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
You could've  continued the conversation and made it interesting, because this is nothing.
Oct 19 2009 1:13PM
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TheTristanator
Posts: 1015 - Karma: 820
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so do you cross contry skii or all that snowbording stuff?
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Oct 22 2009 12:41AM
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griffin.paisley
Posts: 1520 - Karma: 38
good luck guys, were 14. and its not like i wasnt ever going to talk to her again...
heres one that happened last night....
(i have a t shirts signed by tom wallisch (ZOMGGGG))
him" WOAH, isn't that tim wallischs signature?"
My friend "yeah, yeah thats tim's"

Oct 25 2009 7:55PM
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WVskiing
Posts: 3007 - Karma: 1,949
me: yo, i learned switch ups and my summer set up this weekend
friend: what the hell is that
me: when you are grinding, u jump and do a 180 on the rail. i can do a BS and FS one
friend: that sounds really easy. ill do it next weekend at the resorts setup
me: hahhaahaah

next weekend........

me: how did u do
friend: i didnt do it
me: y not,  u said it was easy.
Friend; iit was way to fast and there was mud on the box
me:MAN UP
friend: whats afterbang (swear to god he asked me that)
Oct 25 2009 8:12PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
^ahh that's a good one.
Oct 25 2009 11:48PM
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CraigAK
Posts: 1871 - Karma: 320

i had to make a video for my video/news production class. theres only one other skier in that class. one of the first shots in an edit i made for that class was me doing a flat 3. almost all the other kids yelled "holy smokes!! backflip!!!" i loled. then the "backwards" skiing came, and when the doubles came and they all got silent haha

Oct 26 2009 2:46AM
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I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
Bwahaha, i've actually once had some eastern european guy ask me what the white stuff on the ground was :D
Oct 26 2009 3:33AM
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*Get_ill*
Posts: 344 - Karma: 6

Gaper:What kinda skis you got there

Me: volkl gotamas

Gaper:im sorry i dont speak mexican

*turn up my music*

Oct 26 2009 3:56PM
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Baskin.
Posts: 1387 - Karma: 13

so im in the car with my friend and his dad

i ask his dad"so do you like how skiing is these days"

he say"definitly not!i used to ski 210's and now im at 195's im not going any lower"

i say"well if you change your mind make sure you get some line invaders,a few tall t's,some skullcandy headphones,full tilt boots,and a g-suit"

he replys"why would i wanna look like a fuckin clown!"

Oct 26 2009 4:54PM
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SEABURN
Posts: 4859 - Karma: 2,752
lie.

no dad would know what all that is.
Oct 26 2009 5:08PM
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jamodeo
Posts: 3040 - Karma: 663
this happened to me but instead of not talking i said i threw them really high and they hadnt come down yet
Oct 26 2009 6:23PM
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splatters
Posts: 411 - Karma: 78
so were sitting on a chairlift, my friend and i, when this dood sittin next to his gf tryin to look like he knows what he was talkin about was like:
gaper: are those skis twin tippers?
me: yes
gaper: so do you ski in the park a lot
me: yea i do
gaper: can you do a backflip?

true story. thats as classic as it gets
Oct 26 2009 6:49PM
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B.Pol
Posts: 1750 - Karma: 59

These kids where in the lift line in front of us

"are those trick skis"

me "yes"

them "do you go to the obsticle course"

Me"silence"

Another one: kids again in front of us in the lift line were trying to talk trash on their rental skis

"We are practically pro because we have been on this lift 8 whole times"

next thing we know the lift stops and we see them all on the ground.......epic facepalm

Oct 26 2009 7:03PM
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WVskiing
Posts: 3007 - Karma: 1,949
some ski tech lady said she can

bend regular skis into twin tip skis???
Oct 26 2009 7:05PM
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JASTEW206
Posts: 568 - Karma: 117
can you do black diamonds?? is clasic also
Oct 26 2009 7:45PM
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WVskiing
Posts: 3007 - Karma: 1,949
me: yo, look at my new ski cloths i am getting this year( pic of saga)
friend: thats sexy, are u sponsored by saga
Me:.....

next day.....

Me: look at my skis(pic)
friend:those r cool, who makes them
me:line
friend:are you sponsored by them
ME: WTF how come every time i show u something u ask me if i am sponsored by them. Are u sponsered by nike, it says is on your shirt, or levi, ur genes r.!!!!

Oct 26 2009 9:03PM
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YooperSteeze
Posts: 1248 - Karma: 45
More like quintuple
Oct 26 2009 9:04PM
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joshua
Posts: 5046 - Karma: 1,280
Actually, you can on some skis. My friend did it for his little brother's skis
Oct 26 2009 10:00PM
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PeterWojnar
Posts: 3937 - Karma: 678
If there's enough metal in a ski, it'll retain shape past a certain point. That's why you don't take your 192 cm Mantras through the tightest moguls on the mountain unless you really know what's up.
Oct 26 2009 10:52PM
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[MEGAMO]
Posts: 1222 - Karma: 18
*jeans
Oct 27 2009 11:17AM
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Brenone
Posts: 4944 - Karma: 296

i used to love this thread but maybe 1 in every 25 posts is believable.

Oct 27 2009 11:41AM
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Peach.
Posts: 3879 - Karma: 933
Last year I got chewed out by a race dad because my skis were "spitting"
Oct 27 2009 2:34PM
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Gorno
Posts: 266 - Karma: 28
What a prick.... nothing more deadly than twin rooster tails
Oct 27 2009 4:00PM
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WVskiing
Posts: 3007 - Karma: 1,949
one time a gaber pissed me off so much i KILLED HIM
Oct 27 2009 4:45PM
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treebeard
Posts: 3669 - Karma: 2,008
this is about as believable as 80% of the more recent stories.
the first 20 or so pages were pure gold, but now this thread kinda sucks
Oct 27 2009 5:11PM
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*TURBONERD*
Posts: 15081 - Karma: 9,158
change your icon mang. that one's reserved for asian allen only!
Oct 27 2009 5:44PM
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B.Pol
Posts: 1750 - Karma: 59
sorry I didnt know, I changed it
Oct 27 2009 9:21PM
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erikK
Posts: 3245 - Karma: 2,328
My friend bought a snowboard off TJ Schneider without knowing he was a pro.  when they were at his apartment he was like "so uhh, why do you have so many snowboards lying around?"
Oct 27 2009 10:07PM
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erikK
Posts: 3245 - Karma: 2,328
Fresh off facebook!
me: "what makes you stoked on winter?"
her:"snowboarding and snow"
me:"oh sweet what kind of snowboarding do you do?"
her: "... erm snowboarding? im goofy i guess"
me:"like racing, backcountry, park..."
her: "ohhh uh i guess i really like backcountry and i just like going fast... i dunno... POWDER i love powder"

she's ugly, so it's fine to fuck with her.  i don't think she's actually snowboarded before so she's a goldmine for quotes

Nov 5 2009 11:46PM
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gretzels
Posts: 170 - Karma: 339
i can't resist...

first lift comment from old gaper man complete with red/yellow/purple jester hat:
"how to you like those flipped up tails?"
Nov 10 2009 1:50AM
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cashdebt
Posts: 2383 - Karma: 349
ah, i was going to resurrect this thread today but someone already did the honors

well anyway i was at keystone on sunday and i was riding up the chairlift. I enjoy making small talk with the people who ride the lift whether they be gapers or hood rats. Anyway, she ended up complimenting my skis, which are last years invaders, and said how they were very colorful and she didn't like the ones she just bought because they were black-ish. then she proceeded to say that my skis look like they would do well in powder because of the fat waist of the ski.....
i then proceeded to tell her that these skis infact self destruct when they come into contact with any sort of fresh snow and explained fat skis and rocker and all that jazz. needless to say it was quite the facepalm moment, as even a gaper knows what fat skis are and she proceeded to tell me how shes lived in colorado her whole life and skied so it came as a bit of a surprise
Nov 10 2009 2:31AM
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..jack
Posts: 424 - Karma: 897
Been grooming the kicker at London Freeze with this guy, we're watching the skiers warm up. Someone hits the jump , this guy turns to me and says,

"was that an 8?"

LOL
Nov 10 2009 11:27AM
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SteezeBall
Posts: 350 - Karma: 12
First time i ever stomped a sw 5, some little gaper skis up to me below the jump and says, would have been waay sicker with a daffy.
Nov 10 2009 12:24PM
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Relish_man
Posts: 5386 - Karma: 551
my mom still says i do acrobatic skiing. it pisses me off.
Nov 10 2009 12:46PM
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FK-Just-Do-It
Posts: 10 - Karma: 10
A russian gaper in the lift: So, tell meh, how do you do thiz rotation ?
Me: You need to start off backwards, the when you approach the jump, you need to kinda bend your legs and then stretch them out at last, the in the air, you MUST throw yourself backwards...
Russion gaper: I see, very nice.

We got of the elevator, and when i saw him, in his late 70's ski suit and white/pink/yellow skis, getting down to the smallest jump, i dident dare to even watch if he was going to to as i told him xD


Nov 10 2009 1:40PM
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spen-cer
Posts: 1694 - Karma: 652
we got off the elevator???
im confused
Nov 10 2009 1:45PM
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Zoro
Posts: 1253 - Karma: 37
here's my gaper quote
Nov 10 2009 3:50PM
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