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so its the last day at my local ski area and im with a group of skiers and boarders and we are building and flat box onto a picnic table(old supplies kept at bottom of park)and then these faggot snow skaters come over tryin to look cool in their tight snowpants and their k-mart jackets and we just finish building the feature
us:lets hit it"
snowskaters"wait hold up you are going to have to knock down this thingy, the snowskaters need to use this area"
us:what?? no way , snow skating is so gay and you cant do shit"
snowskaters"fine, i will make a deal if you can complete this obstacle twice you can stay but if you dont we get to snow skate here"
us:fine
we hit it perfectly twice in a row
snowskaters"you guys are ass holes, and why are your skis shaped like that"
us:" its for park skiing"
snowskaters"is that all those big bumps and box things"
us"ya"
snowskaters "ooooooooooooo"
after we hit it for five minutes, and the snow skaters are complaining, a boarder says" hey i got the best idea lets tear this down and snow skate"
so we leave the feature there and all the little weak snowskaters can not move it
bump for awesome thread. the other day we were at home depot getting turf for our summer setup, and the old lady cutting it for us asked us what we were using it for. I said for skiing and she said..
Oh.. so like skateboarding with skis on a flatform. OK now i get it
Gaper: so where have you been skiing today?
Me: Just lapping the park.
Gaper: Oh wow!!!! I will be sure to watch for you on the X Games!
so we have a crap park at kirkwood, on the side of where they cut the edge of the landing you can butter off it over a rope (probably the best feature out of the entire park even if it was unintended),
anyway i decide to switch3 itand immediatley, almost mid afterbang ski patrol fukckin tears outta nowhere infront of me and of course yells "STOP!"
him: you need to turn around and watch out, its not safe to ski like that you cant see people down the run
me:um its called skiin switch man relax
him:if you dont be more careful im going to have to clip your pass (its like a warning, if it happens twice you lose youre season pass for like a week or so)
me:fine fine i'll watchout
at that moment the douche ski's away and out of his red jacket falls his cell phone and i pick it out of the snow and snatch it
free phone (claim)
sooooo i work at a rafting company in CO that's a ski rental place in the winter. In a corner, there are a few snowblades hanging from the celing. so i got asked...
Texan: what are those mini skis?
Me: they're snowblades.....
Tex: what are they for?
Me: Usually newer skiers use them because supposedly they're more manuverable or something like this...
Tex: so you dont use them? are you a skier?
Me: Noooo i have never tried them BECAUSE i am a skier
Tex: so you must be pretty hard core then.....
(then she went on to tell me about all the skiing she did growing up in new mexico...)
Tex: so if you're a good skier have you ever tried the single ski?
Me: ummmm....like a snowboard?
Tex's husband: yeah
Tex: No....where they....
Me: ...have two bindings mounted next to eachother on one ski? a monoski
Tex: yeah! that. It's the most advanced type of ski.
Me: ummmm...no, well there are a lot of "advanced" things that you can't do on a monoski
Tex: well like what?
Me: Like land
Tex's husband:.....like getting air? YOU...GET....AIR??
Me: well.....yep
Tex: whoa.
Tex's husband: i could never do that. i'm afraid of heights
wow.
Gaper: So you ski eh?
Me: Yeah...
Gaper: Yeah so did I, I got really good and found nothing else to do on the mountain, so I switched to snowboarding.
Me: Oh really, what could you do?
Gaper: I could go off every single jump in the park.
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG....
my friend (not a gaper, just dumb)
came up to me after talking about skiing related things and this is what he said (brace yourself)
Him : "Did you know they blew up chad's gap?"
Me : *Facepalm*
Him : "what?, no really, it got too dangerous"
Me : " it's a 'gap', how is that possible "
Him : "I don't know, but they did it"
Me : *Double Facepalm*
My friend: dude on youtube I saw a guy do a helicopter spin
me: wtf is a helicopter spin?
my friend: it's when you do half of a backflip and start spinning when you're upside down and then do the other half of the flip and land it.
me: ???
And another one that a different friend said
Friend: My calendar has a picture of travis rice doing that corkscrew thing or whatever he does
talking to a kid on xbox live
Him: Utah sucks
Me: No we can ski
Him: i can snowblade and do more tricks
Me: (Facepalm)
I just remembered some more... so i was with one of my friends and it was a really crappy day on the mountains so we were just jibbing around the ski club. We were just joking around and skiing down this set of stairs when a ladie comes over and saw us putting our skis on on the top of the stairs and she picks them up for us and yells at us saying that we were doing the stupidest thing we could possibly do and we would both fall and die. so she carried our skis down for us and we waited for her do leave before we continued... lol the stairs had like a half a food drop and they were covered in snow... it was probably less dangerous than a black diamoned....
Also in homeroom i was explaining twintips to my friend and my teacher comes over and says in an amazed voice " u have twin tipped skis?"
me:yup
teacher:does that mean in the front they branch off in 2 different tips?
me:...........
Haha I wonder what that kind of ski was like to ride
Not really a gaper quote but I bmx and when im goin to the park through my neighbourhood the little kids always stare weirdly and sometimes yell something like "ooh what a cool bike" Puts a smile on my face everytime :)
