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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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=FAIL=
Posts: 536 - Karma: 47
^EXACTLY^
Jun 9 2009 1:22AM
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=FAIL=
Posts: 536 - Karma: 47

gaper chick: rnt your skis to big for you?

Me (on a pair of 161 powder skis): no, but i did just happen to notice that youre on a pair of 190 Heads,

gaper chick(shorter than me): No, theyre 191s, and im allowed to ski on these, im a really good skier, your crap, no offence.

*she gets of the lift and falls over 10 metres down the slope.*

*i :)*  

Jun 9 2009 1:57AM
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Freeskim@n
Posts: 732 - Karma: 203
^FAIL^
Jun 9 2009 7:20AM
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SEABURN
Posts: 4859 - Karma: 2,752
fake.
Jun 9 2009 4:53PM
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HPskier
Posts: 1072 - Karma: 30
Fat kid in jeans and sweatshirt at top of jump pizzas up to me, half jokingly says bet you twenty bucks that i can't hit the jump backwards (it was only 30ft), i grab his hand shake firmly and zero spin the jump no problem, he is just sitting there mouth open as i hike back up and ask for my twenty
Jun 9 2009 4:54PM
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OhMyBosh
Posts: 5056 - Karma: 171
BS, and who the f*ck skis on 161 pow sticks?
Jun 9 2009 5:06PM
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Fev4ng
Posts: 225 - Karma: 62
A gaper?
Jun 9 2009 5:13PM
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mmallender.
Posts: 5805 - Karma: 936
someone short?
Jun 9 2009 5:18PM
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*TURBONERD*
Posts: 15081 - Karma: 9,158
yes! the best thread ever is back
Jun 9 2009 5:45PM
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Freeskim@n
Posts: 732 - Karma: 203
I love this thread so much!!!
Jun 9 2009 7:19PM
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*steeze_is_good
Posts: 2886 - Karma: 721
I had a google gap but had a hat under it right? So this guy in a racer suit whispers to his friend:
Gaper: Goggle Gap
Me: Racer
Gaper: Shut up, I bet I can go faster than you
Me: Alright, lets race

The kid wrecks himself, but I never got my 5 bucks haha
Jun 9 2009 7:47PM
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tiger_shart
Posts: 510 - Karma: 1,592
theres this guy at my resort who is supposedly "a certified freestyle ski instructer"  but  hes  really just a selfish dick, anhow one day he was in the park trying to teach his son (who snowboards) how to 3 and he thought that his son would feel more confident if he did the jump with him turns out his kid falls he lands on him and breaks the kids leg
Jun 9 2009 8:20PM
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585.
Posts: 4059 - Karma: 77
one of the last days of skiing at my moutain and everyone is wearing tall tess because its hot out. some kid comes up and goes whats up with the big t shirts...
Jun 10 2009 9:17PM
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EvanMeyer
Posts: 3822 - Karma: 3,449
gaper on the lift pulls out a little one hit wonder peace and some shit bud
gaper: dude you wanna hit
me: na im cool
gaper: you sure man the kottonmouth kings smoke this stuff
me: no
gaper: ok then
he takes a hit and starts coughing
me:dude that smells like kitchen spices
gaper: liar liar pants on fire!

got to the top of the lift a minute after thank god
Jun 10 2009 9:49PM
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the-big-lepowski
Posts: 1212 - Karma: 541
story
Jun 11 2009 6:00PM
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treebeard
Posts: 3669 - Karma: 2,013
HANSEL
Jun 11 2009 11:10PM
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Zoro
Posts: 1253 - Karma: 37

me 2 years ago on a powder day:

whoa mom look at that guys skis!! theyre all bent up!!

now that i think about this they were probly hellbents or some other rockered ski.  makes me laugh every time i think of it

Jun 11 2009 11:36PM
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YooperSteeze
Posts: 1248 - Karma: 45
I fucking love this thread.
Jun 11 2009 11:39PM
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*steeze_is_good
Posts: 2886 - Karma: 721
Man this is the best, its hilarious
Jun 12 2009 7:41AM
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skivt12
Posts: 239 - Karma: 33
jossiwells.com
Jun 12 2009 4:21PM
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*steeze_is_good
Posts: 2886 - Karma: 721
I just asked my sister what her favourite trick on the tramp was (shes a massive gaper)
She said she liked hawks.
She was referring to a spread eagle hahhah
Jun 13 2009 8:23PM
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Newschool_Pope
Posts: 2473 - Karma: 267
" is it true, taht theose tricky skis are for learning skiers, because they make it easier to ski and jump backwards"?

" why are your clothes so long"?

"what is harder, a frontflip or a backflip"?

"are you sponsored"?

" my friend can do a spread eagle, can you"?

little girl asks me: " where can I buy those colorfull stickers for my skis"?

"why are the backsides of your skis bent up"?

gapers are so funny people, what would skiing be without them hahahhaa
Jun 15 2009 4:02PM
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stokedelic
Posts: 1526 - Karma: 4,011

this is a complete claim but i swear its true:

gaper: why are you wearing such big stuff?

me: to hide my skis and stuff

gaper: why?

me: because if you go on the chairlift and they see you dont have and skis or snowboard then they give you $10 dollars

gaper: really?

me: yeah......

Jun 15 2009 7:13PM
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RoadRash_Skier
Posts: 457 - Karma: 44
haha nice but the best way to owned racer is to propose them to do a race so he will accept and then say that you have to go switch.... he will be pissed of
Jun 15 2009 9:54PM
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SEABURN
Posts: 4859 - Karma: 2,752
haha
Jun 15 2009 10:59PM
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ski-plastic
Posts: 311 - Karma: 64
How is that a gaper quote?! Thats a pretty legitimate question. Dont rip on kids if theyre keen to try get upside down! Helm them out
Jun 16 2009 7:45AM
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Newschool_Pope
Posts: 2473 - Karma: 267
ya true there, i mean the guy asking that looked like a real gaper though i agree its not a typical gaper quote. however he could have thought, that both are hard, and it depends on the kicker, wether it has a steep take off or a fairly mellow one. also it depends on what oneself feels more comfortable with. i mean its not like im a pro or so, just that he could of come to those conclusions himself.
but true i wouldnt hate on gapers for saying that. my bad :D
Jun 16 2009 1:22PM
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IceCreamer
Posts: 1587 - Karma: 27
So which is harder?
Jun 16 2009 6:17PM
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RoadRash_Skier
Posts: 457 - Karma: 44

So I was in the chair lift and then saw a gaper wearing a beautiful suit of ski-doo in snowblade trying to ski.
Me: HEYYY!! you lost something!!!!!!!!
gaper: (who just stop and looking around) WHATT?
Me : Your speed!

then the gaper become really angry start yealling at me

Gaper: FUCK YOU!! come here man you wanna fight?&! I'm gonna punch you and destroye evrything yo got.
Me: hahahah

so going out of the chairlift he was waiting for us so we just go in the park so he doesnt follow us because we need park pass. when we finish our run in the park, he was down the park with one of this friend. so they both start to get off their snowblade and start running after us(you have to know that our park is not top to bottom so we have to ski a bit to take the chairlift).We just ride away like some thug and those 2 stupid gaper where running down the hill then they both fall and kind of hurting themself!!

Jun 16 2009 7:19PM
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Dr.Dickless
Posts: 2620 - Karma: 1,392
from now on the park is called a nifty trick track
Jun 17 2009 2:40AM
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C_Perin
Posts: 944 - Karma: 156
one oofioneaid does gus kenworthy like own newschoolers. i loled for a very long time on the ground
Jun 17 2009 2:45AM
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loopcrew
Posts: 5 - Karma: 259
gaper asked: can you do a backflip??!!
I said yes- he says are you sponsored?
Jun 17 2009 5:21AM
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ashamedkrew
Posts: 1194 - Karma: 424

one cold night this winter we were just coming in from lapping the park for awhile and had gotten pretty cold so i just did a little 3 on the way in and then walking up the steps to go inside a 50-something year old lady walks out from inside and says.. 'Excuse me son, but was that you that just landed that helicopter?' btw i'll cool story hansel myself on this one.

Jun 17 2009 2:13PM
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jibjunkie
Posts: 3807 - Karma: 191
lol i just watched dumb and dumber for like the tenth time and i love it when lloyd meets the chick at the gas station.

lloyd: hey nice skis
chick: thanks im going to aspen
lloyd: are they yours
chick: yeah
lloyd: both of em?
Jun 18 2009 7:38AM
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Newschool_Pope
Posts: 2473 - Karma: 267
as i said, if its a steep take off, then a backflip, but if it is a fairly flat take off with a steep landing then frontflip. if it is just a bump, then knuckle flip :D
Jun 18 2009 11:17AM
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Mogul-Jibber
Posts: 137 - Karma: -90

Great thread!

OK.....

So i was walking from the lodge to the bus carrying my skis one in each hand and this older guy bumps into me so i drop one of the skis and the guy comes up and he was being pretty nice picking my ski up for me and saying sorry and i was just about to walk away when he starts freaking out at me that i am holding my skis wrong! he basically grabs my skis out of my hands, puts them together and throws them over my shoulder. Telling me that if i carry my skis like that i will look like a real pro skiier....

One of my snowboarding friends came to school and told me that he got a concussion after he fell off a bad ass huge jump...... I later asked the person he was riding with where the jump was and it turns out he fell on his head doing a strait air off one of the jumps in the kiddy park... The jumps are so small that the mountain didn't even bother building a landing...

Also one time i was going up the lift with one of the dads of a mogul skiier at my school (he didn't recognize me though) and this was the conversation...

Gaper: So your a park skiier?

Me: Yup

Gaper: Yea i see you have your fancy park skis and 12 din bindings and everything!

Me: Mmmhmmmm

Gaper: Yea but park skiing should be stopped because skiiers go farther than snowboarders off jumps and they can get hurt more easily.

Me: I think you have an equal chance of getting hurt boarding...

Gaper: I was working at the mogul competition last week and i think a d-spin 720 is easy! you just need to find the right angle of take off... I remembeer back in the day i was a diving coach........

I wont bother telling you about his diving years..... Then when we get off the lift he takes the liberty to pull my pants up for me........

Jun 18 2009 11:22AM
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Zoro
Posts: 1253 - Karma: 37
nice first post
Jun 18 2009 11:24AM
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Mogul-Jibber
Posts: 137 - Karma: -90
thanks
Jun 18 2009 11:27AM
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weskisea
Posts: 317 - Karma: 12

at my normal hill its all about the park,

but if you go over to one thats a ways out of the way and all old people and total gapers (and they don't have a park) and ski switch, people actually stop and stare.

Jun 18 2009 11:38AM
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Chalet_9
Posts: 40 - Karma: 30
I was reading this last night... funniest shit everr.

I work for a race camp in the summers, and one of my campers this week was this 72 year old man. I'm heading up to the lift, and he seriously SQUEEZES into line right next to me, practically knocking me over, then says, "I see you got those double-tippers, you can go both ways, right?" It was hilarious.

Even though gapers are annoying, they're funny. At least they're not the racers climbing over your skis right before the line ends to get to the lift faster. Seriously.
Jun 18 2009 2:00PM
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LAME.
Posts: 5795 - Karma: 2,449

i ariived at the flat box in my local park...

Yeti: This bench is vey slippy

Me:could you guys get off the box or somthing

Yeti:what are you going to do get, tell snow patrol on us!

Me: No i just wanna hit the box.

after i slide the box...

Yetis: lets go tell, he breaking the bench.

Jun 24 2009 10:59PM
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Dr.Dickless
Posts: 2620 - Karma: 1,392

i just puked i laughed so hard

Jun 25 2009 2:14AM
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joshua
Posts: 5046 - Karma: 1,280
i was spraying my summer setup to make it slippery and my mom said "you now its not going to freeze overnite its summer." I laughed
Jun 25 2009 11:11AM
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T-Nutcracker
Posts: 1056 - Karma: 434
hahaa
Jun 25 2009 12:45PM
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GreenHorn
Posts: 4896 - Karma: 1,209
haha i love how almost everyone telling the gaper stories in this thread hardly have any posts. i think they might be the gapers in their story.
Jun 25 2009 1:03PM
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gr4
Posts: 1499 - Karma: 945
I was teaching my girlfriend how to ski this winter and it was getting close to the end of the day and i was saying we should try and hurry down so we could get another run in before the chair lifts close. 

she then says "What happens if they close the chair while we are on it?!"
I said "I dont know its never happened to me, but my neighbor said one time he had to spend the night on the chair lift because he got on too late."
she proceeded to freak out saying that we shouldnt go because we are gonna get stuck up there.
I convinced her that we will "Probably be fine, worst case we have to jump off."
we ended up getting on right as they were closing and the whole ride up she was flipping shit wondering if we were gonna make it.   I didnt tell her that they wont leave you on after they close until three weeks later.
Jun 25 2009 1:23PM
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SEABURN
Posts: 4859 - Karma: 2,752
silly females...
Jun 30 2009 2:17PM
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dbchili
Posts: 2555 - Karma: 1,657
ski patroller: "please stop hiking the hill"
me: "why?"
ski patroller: "you're damaging the snow"


for obvious reasons i continued hiking
Jun 30 2009 2:23PM
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C.MickeyD
Posts: 13 - Karma: 10
One I commonly hear regarding clothing are,
"Your pants are falling down"
And when I was at Momentum this year I was going up the chairlift with some PSI campers and they told me this story were some gaper in their camp went up to Sammy Carlson (who was in whistler at the time and ate breakfast where both the camps were eating) and asked him, "Are you a park skier or a mogul skier because you look too short to be a park skier."
I laughed pretty hard when I heard that one cause I'd seen that kid they were talking about around the T-bar.

Jun 30 2009 2:56PM
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Tripplesixty
Posts: 835 - Karma: 148
HaHa same here I told a kid once that they were so I could fly in the air after hitting a jump.  His eyes got huge...
Jun 30 2009 3:02PM
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